Submitted by: Cal J via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Words Of Wisdom!
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Hair of the dog?
Which end is active and pointing towards an accommodating fixture?
Quick, the vomiting slot is a few pics thataway =>
Doesn’t look good… this could be a double-header.
Oh noes! This person could implode!
Just in the middle…
Diarrhea? Get drunk.
herpes? have sex.
You were just itching to say that, weren’t you?
It’s tough to be a guru – all that following, I just want to get drunk and tell them all to go away.
I want to be a guru, too!
You don’t have to be a guru to make another jug of daiquiri and tell everyone to get stuffed, you know.
You are truly wise! I have much to think about.
I’m thinking Bailey’s, ice, and chocolate soy milk.
Cold peaches and peach syrup, yogurt, rum, amaretto, ice and a blender.
You seem to have covered all the major food groups there!
Huh!? The main food groups are tinned, packet, frozen, takeout and alcohol, aren’t they?
The only thing missing is a bacon, lettuce, tomato, eggs, and cheese on toast with mayo. They are sooo good they count as take out even if it is faster to just cook it at home.
Avo. You forgot the avo.
Guacamole and chips on the side.
Now I’m on a sudden urge to eat and get drunk.
Don’t throw up on the ride.
Of course not, I’ll do that at the Vomit hole.
no no – drunk and get eat o.0
You mean, get drunk and get eaten.
No, I wasn’t in the mood for that, but now that you mention it……………no still not in the mood.
Large slabs of beef or BBQ ribs should be in there. Too many veggies are bad for your happiness.
The main food groups, according to my husband: coffee, pies, kebabs, bacon, and burnt crunchy bits.
It’s nice to see burnt crunchy bits get the recognition they deserve. We call them “flavor nuggets” around here.
My food group includes… rice, corn, veggies, fruit, and the occasional cow.
Don’t have a cow, man!
Eat my shorts!
Cow-a-bunga, dude!
…..because corn is a separate food group that doesn’t fit in veggies.
It needed a splash or three of orange bitters.
Grand Marnier is killer in fruit salad… there, now I’ve gone and given it away.
Also a good soak for pound cake.
In your case, wouldn’t that be a Metal Guru?
T. Rex reference FTW!
Hmm, little ear-worm problem now. Oh, well, I’m sure I have the MP3 around here somewhere….
Not intentionally; for some reason us Scots aren’t keen on Marc Bolan and/or T Rex. It was intended as a quip about Dr H’s musical tastes though.
Keep the win, anyway, and here, have a complimentary Internet as well. Intentional or not, it caused me to break out “The Slider” and made my Thursday easier to get through.
I don’t think I’d ever count as a guru of metal. Even if I did, the minute they saw me make a jug of daiquiri and say “I’m not drinking Jaeger Bombs, that stuff tastes like medicine and fair dinkum I’m not drinking it no really I’m not it’s horrible” they’d take my headbanger card away.
It is drinkable if you store it in the freezer or haven’t brushed your teeth in a week.
Great idea, you’ll either get stuck in an infinite loop or in a coma. What could possibly go wrong? Count me in.
This is what happens when you order from the previous menu; crap and beer.
I submitted this way back in September. It’s a warning sign on Zaturn, a rollercoaster at Space World in Japan.
Is that near Yupiter?
Yes, and Youranus.
(Sorry, not your’s specifically, just the name of the planet next to it)
I was going to say that exactly but it seemed odd.
Sadly, there’s no Uranus coaster there – the “I’m just going to ride Uranus” gags would have kept me amused for…years…if I’m being honest.
There was a Venus, though.
You don’t need a coaster for Uranus. It shouldn’t be on the table or bar top anyway!
And they’re available in male or female form to fit the preferences of the rider.
And, of course, the planet is now known to have a number of satelites (think about it, the whats of which!)
IRONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sounds like a doctor prescription from the 19th century. Back then they had no anesthetics so they had patients drink things like scotch/rum any sort of heavy alcoholic drink in order for them to get really drunk before surgery. So it wouldnt hurt as much.
it also works without surgery!