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Cheezburger Network Blog
The water around him darkens with the force.
I not thinking that are the force.
He is the guy that craps in the pool.
Sorry.
Who owns this PET?
He was abandoned on the information highway.
Aw, that’s sad! Aren’t there any cyber-shelters?
No one will take him until he gets neutered and socialized. There’s just us.
Socialized, ya say, socialized??? Next thing you know, you’ll be wanting socialized medicine, too, like them pinko congressmen and the comissar-in-chief! I think I’m gonna hafta go out ‘n wave the American flag out front of some good-ol’ red-blooded ontrepid-ureal insurance companies jest ta take the taste ‘o that word outta ma mouth!
Neutered?
*gulp*
“Tutored!!” Of course, I meant to say “tutored!” Now just get in this crate like a good kitty… look, there’s catnip!
*eyes bluejade suspiciously, then chases catnip into crate*
Curiosity nutted the cat.
Yup. Just like the green man post…
*closes crate quickly, loads crate in car*
cackles ” I’ve got you now, my Pretty!”
Tehe…..I’z purty. *smiles*
*Hands crate to vet assistant* Here you are! This one is easily distracted, probably won’t even notice.
My daughter took her cat in to get it spayed. I checked for problems under the bandage the next week and found that the tech had shaved off her nipples during the prep.
The next week we took her back for shots and to get the stitches removed. She recognized where she was and that 8 lb cat turned into a mountain lion and required 2 techs with leather gauntlets to restrain her.
Will you promise to never get me neutered again?
Absolutely!! Here, put these back on. When they put you back together, they had parts leftover. *hands SS a small ziploc containing his nipples*
PG, that is horrible. I would do my damnedest to get that tech fired, they have no business working around animals. Serious.
*whimpers*
When the Force is merely surface tension….?
this is an engrish win!
Now we are have to calls him Anakin Poolwalker.
Haha…..that sentence is Engrish in itself!
Oren generally expresses himself in fluent Engrish, sometimes even outdoing the picture, even though he has demonstrated he is capable of expressing himself in flawless English as well. He is, in essence, bilingual, and chooses to express himself in Engrish consistently. Most of us do it sporadically.
I nawt uzez it berry offin, but I can haz speekin flooint LOLcat.
o noes! u habs teh lolspik! r u sure tat it be flooint?
Ohai! Iz teh kyoot!
Teh kyoot? Oh noes! *splort* Mai head asplodes.
I just might have to add lolspik to the list of *great* things about dr handle…..
Aww they wouldn’t let me post that picture of Darth Vader wading in water at the beach with the brita water filter, lol.
Speaking of that picture, would anyone care to take a shot at explaining to me WHAT THE HELL is going on there?
I think it’s a display of R2D2 shampoo bottles. Really.
Yeah; it’s a shop display, and they’ve just mis-typed the name. That said, it’s still an Engrish because of exactly what they’ve actually mistyped.
No, no, no, I meant the photo that MTT is talking about, where Darth Vader is at the beach on a lovely sunny day (even evil overlords need a bit of time out occasionally, I suppose), and has waded in up to his knees, and is pouring (presumably) seawater into a filter jug. What’s going on in that photo?
That one is the visual equivalent of a koan.
The farce is strong with this one.
Sorry, I had beans today.
At least you aren’t me!
I’m GLAD that I’m not!
I can feel a disturbance in the pool!
Sorry…..
The force runs strong in this family.
All right, who let Chekov write up the signs?
You’ve failed my pH level for the last time!
Darth are my wader?
I am ready to order.
Haha!
“You’ll need a tray.”
Don’t you tell me what I need. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force. Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished, for I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor.
PMS much?
Actually channelling Darth Eddie Izzard. He postulates that there must’ve been a canteen on the Death Star, where Darth Vader could go and get some lunch. A rather interesting conversation with a canteen staff member ensues, in which the Lord of the Sith has to have it explained to him that he needs a tray to put his pasta on. So he takes a tray. “This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. Where do you dry these trays, in a f#cking rainforest?” Ummm, I guess you have to see it. It’s on YooChoob.
Good Ol’ Eddie. Creating works of art from such mundane things as getting lunch in a canteen to sweeping (sorry, “hoovering”) the floor to printing a document to Stonehenge. Wait, Stonehenge isn’t mundane, is it?
The “do not need a tray to kill you” harkened me back to an interview with a serial killer wherein the subject assured the interviewer that he could kill him, should he choose to do so… being in jail was not an obstacle.
Ooh, I think I’ve seen this one. Isn’t it when they are interviewing some gang members, I think they were the Mara Salvatrucha. The inmates run the jail the way they want and told the interviewer that they could keep him and his camera man there if he wished it so.
No, this was just one very creepy guy sitting across the table from the interviewer. I saw no reason to doubt him.
Same idea, tho.
Sorry I haven’t been around much today to join in the fun. I was somewhat preoccupied with losing my job.
Aieeeeeeeeeeeee! Not cool, Brother John, not cool!
Oh, fvck, not you too? It’s not going to happen, right? This isn’t reality, this is just a worry, right?
John,
Are you being serious? Because that’s not really funny.
If it’s true, you have my condolences and best wishes. My husband also lost his job on January 14th, the day of his birthday. We try to stay positive. At least, I work and am able to help out, I know you have many to take care of.
Sending good energy your way,
la conejita
Working, plus a two-year old, and a four year old? I would go insane. That’s more than “helping out.”
Yes, I have two kids. But when I work my husband watches the kids for me. He also fixes computers and is a DJ. So he brings home some cash.
Life is not so bad, when you learn to see the positive aspects of it, instead of focusing on the negative. Even though we are hoping for better things(job,income,etc), I can honestly say that we are both happy people.
We are also going to be renting the baseman soon, so that will take some pressure off.
A baseman?
And you’re just renting him out? Nasty. Well, I’d do it too, if I had him.
A rented-out baseman: I think that’s called a session musician.
OI!! Bass player I may be; musician I’m not!!
You too? I play bass, but I won’t let people refer to me as a musician, since if you tell me to give you a walking blues line in E flat what I’ll give you is a blank stare. Our lead guitarist will be calling out “Go to B right about there” and our rhythm guitarist (who knows me better) will translate to “Second string, second fret.”
Yes, I have the baseman working the corner. In this economy, I can’t afford him not to.
Aw! What happened?
Oh, man — I’m sorry. That sucks.
Unfortunately, this was no joke. Agency basically decided they had to start cutting back on contracts, and the contract for psychological services looked like a good place to start. They probably can get some kid right out of school to do it cheaper. Of course, you get what you pay for, but they won’t realize that for a while. Thing is, the last couple of times I was out of work, I found the market for aging psychologists is not that great, and the economy was much better then. But hey, we never do know where this crazy ride called life is going to take us, do we?
So sorry to hear this John B! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts until you find another one.
JohnB, I am so sorry. I do hope you have some savings, and that they are giving enough notice to give you some wiggle room.
At the moment, my own financial situation is about as bad as it’s ever been… and that’s saying something. When I was a kid, I was homeless for a while, but I didn’t owe any money. Now I owe a bunch, but I have a place to stay.
Re: unemployed psychologists; if I was one of those, I might think of heading over to the VA. God knows they they need them, I’ve heard nasty things about absurd caseloads. I would think at this point, they would be doing outside contracting. If you get in there, it may mean relocating. Go where the crazies are… you, too, can be a war profiteer…
Best of Luck, JohnB!! Like me, you’re too old for this sh!t. Keep us posted.
Yeah, we’ve got some savings, but notice? That you don’t often get in the consulting game, which I’ve been in and out of for 25 years. The plus is you usually get paid well, but the minus is, well, if the administrator wakes up on the wrong side of the bed you may find you’re done that day. Relocating is not an option, given that my 85- and 84-year-old parents live next door, and we just got them moved in a few months back. Worse comes to worst, I guess we can move in with them, since they own the house outright, but I can’t imagine the circus of three crazy women, one demented old man (here, I’m talking about my father) and me (a nearly demented nearly old man) all under one roof! But there are several cities within commuting distance where I hope I can find something. The first 25 years of my career I was never out of work long enough to even file for unemployment. Between 2002 and 2006, I managed 19 months without a job, not all at once. But 2006-2007 I worked a full-time job plus another half-time job, just trying to make ends meet and pay for health insurance (and that, in a group plan), and the half-time job had me driving about 14 hours a week. That got old real fast. So I haven’t even had a vacation to speak of for several years now, so maybe I’ll at least get a bit of a rest, maybe stop feeling exhausted all the time. The plus side is it’s springtime in Kentucky, great weather for walking my dogs, and I’ll get some time to work on finishing my degree.
John B, I feel terrible that this has happened to you. I hope you find something quickly enough, and perhaps you’ll be able to say in a month that your layoff was fortuitous since you were able to find something better with fewer hours and more dollars. There seems to be a lot of people leaning on you right now in your life, and that unemployment money is laughable…maybe you’ll get rest, but I’m in a slightly similar boat, and I can’t rest at all.
For a little less than a year I’ve lurked on this site, and I’ve always enjoyed your posts and interactions with the regulars. I’m flabbergasted that you got canned. Feel free to call up your former workplace and inform them that their decision was so misguided that it has instilled utter shock in perfect strangers that you’ve never met.
Awwwww, don’t lurk – come and play! *throws the ball to Zephyrsaurus.* Help us cheer up Brother John. Sounds like he’s going to need it. *pouts at the vicious stupidity of the universe*
JohnB the world needs more people like you and the kind of work that you do, also.
That’s bad news. I hope something good turns up for you soon.
I know you won’t be lacking things to do, but money is always an issue. Bluejade’s suggestion sounds like a start, or maybe some other connexion with the military. We know there’s always money available for wars.
Bad things happen to good people.
Really good people! *sigh* I has a sad now.
I hope everything works itself out. 
Don’t have too much of a sad! I’ve lost jobs before, and it’s not the end of the world or the end of my life. Who knows, I might even find a job with decent group health insurance I can afford! Rumor has it such jobs actually exist…
Yeah, there’s a tooth fairy, too. Actually, it’s a kidney fairy…
Is that like the new movie “Repo Men”?
Don’t know.
You leave one of your kidneys under your pillow, and then a fairy comes with dry ice and a cooler and leaves you some money.
I am so sorry to hear that.
No, you never know what might happen or grow out of this. My brother has been out of work for a year now and it is rough, but they are managing somehow. It doesn’t seem possible, but they do it and I know you will, too. You’re such a smart guy.
I know what you mean about them not realizing they get what they pay for. I have a similar situation where I work where they want to hire a bunch of kids for $25k a year and expect actually decent results from it. Not going to happen, but it will be a long time before they see that.
So, best of luck (for what that’s worth – not much I know) and we’ll all be thinking of you.
It has been days and I still find it hard to write. It hurts me to think about some one being dropped.
I hope that you are a happy, warm and inviting person in real life. Children with ADD, ADHD, or needing anger redirection instruction need someone like that.
Drug rehab counselors are more credible if they have knowledge from experience. Drug rehab is usually a bad money situation because most patients wouldn’t be in rehab if they still had money.
Some church pastors have religious training, but were light on the family counseling courses. You could take their problem cases.
Nursing homes always need an emergency mental issues medical contact.
I hope you find what you are looking for.
I hope that someone with the right needs finds you.
I’ve had a wide variety of experience, professionally and personally, and so I’m confident something will come up. I have a solid resume and great references. I also have strong faith that whatever happens is meant to be a lesson, and I’ve already noticed a few things that I would have missed if I’d still had my nose to the grindstone.
John,
You can also get cracking writing the book you were going to write. I’ll buy a copy even if I don’t need it. Or work on your website, you said you were hoping to make some money with that. We’ll let you spam us with your website so that you can promote it.
Hey, it’d work in Germany!
So it turns out Darth Wader’s real name is Anakin Skyvalker?
And what about Mace Vindu?
Wouldn’t work; Mace is the wrong sort of flavour for a hot curry, particularly one made with wine vinegar and potato.
I thought it was Skyfalker!
Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational rubber duck!
If he’s wading he would have a Death Starfish.
Presumably Admiral Ackbar will feel right at home.
A hot biker-chick doctor nerd?! YESSSSSSS!!!!!
A maybe-lukewarm biker-chook doctor nerd, possibly – who is old enough to be your MOTHER.
Ehhhhhhh……this is teh interwebs! We can imagine whatever we want!
operative word: want
Did I mention that she knows lolspik?
Does anybody notice the “bin head” sign behind Artoo?
It’s a typo on a sign promoting Hellraiser figurine shampoo bottles.
Actually, it said “Bin Heart”. I didn’t bother taking a picture of that one, I was too busy laughing at the Darth Wader one.
Bin heart will be needed for garbage can living.
Darth Wader..
To Inwade Wenus.
Whoa…!
Welease Woger!
This is some funny Sith!!
AAAAARRRRGH! Unless you can convince me that you have a serious lateral lisp, off to Dreadful Pun Hell with you! *clonk*
This. *Hehe*
Clonk WIN!!