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Yoga and Pirates
More Beauty, More Healthy and More Natural for Your Life
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Ardha Matsyendrasana, ye scuvy dogs!
Yoga position beginning with “Ar…” WIN!
Oh stick it up your asana.
If I could do that, I wouldn’t need the yoga classes.
Dreadful pun fairy, NO!
It’s okay – when I do it, it’s for professional development purposes. After all, if I don’t know about punning, how can I recognise it, police it, and offer moral instruction? Otherwise, I’d be like a catholic priest giving people advice about their secks lives.
* ShadowSplicer vomits, with good cause*
I don’t get it. *vomits anyways*
Wiki “catholic priest sex,” and see what you find.
Nothing.
*sigh* If only that were true…
I just Googled it, and got the idea of what it was.
And then look up “irony.”
I’ve heard that before! They used to call me ‘ye old irony-head’!
…he said, without irony.
You know I am kidding, right? I am not stupid.
Of course not, ye olde irony-head!
No no no no! They didn’t call me that because I was hard-headed/stupid, but because I kept getting randomly hit in the head with stuff! Like the pole/bike incident? Or hitting a car?
Hello. I certainly do not consider you stupid. I do consider you hard-headed. I do not consider the latter to be an insult.
The instance of me hitting a car……………..um…..I was filming my friend skateboarding, and I was skating alongside him, (me on the sidewalk, him on the street). When I was filming, there was this big truck parked in a driveway (blocking part of the sidewalk), and I tried to go around it, but I hit a rock, and CLUNK! I was wearing a helmet, but I hit the truck so hard, and the it was so armored, that I got this BIG lump on my head. The guy who owned the truck was standing right there, and he started laughing! It was funny until I got home.
You know what they say, “It’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious”.
You shouldn’t have told us that story. Now I do believe that you are *ahem*stupid*ahem* and/or lacking common sense.
It was common sense, it was just some random chance that the tiny rock was there! Otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened!
And I am NOT stupid. Jerk.
Then you are lacking common sense.
You shouldn’t have been trying to film your friend and ride along side him too!
>:| I have a great sense of coordination! Anyways, that is my job! I film skateboarders for my friend’s skateboard sponsor, Phenom!
In these yoga classes, they pray planks on students.
Correction…
*In these yohg-arrr classes matey, ^they pray planks on stoo-den-tusah
____________________________
*From here on, read in pirate voice.
^ From here on, read in Japanese voice.
Oh, now that’s just silly!
Yeah. If you can’t do a Japanese pirate voice, then don’t bother! Alllllh…
What they don’t tell you is that you’ll be forced onto a rickety old sailing boat and forced into a life of piracy and yoga.
And throughout it all, you will be at peace with the world, and more flexible.
Isn’t that the plot of Pirates of Penzance – Ruth was supposed to take young Frederick to pilates class, and she misheard and sent hi to the pirates?
(Gilbert & Sullivan buffs will understand)
A sad mistake it was to make and doom him to a vile rot.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!
I deliver this as a Dreadful Pun Hell fairy who LOATHES G&S, particularly Pirates of Penzance:
*CLONK!!!*
You’re the very model of a Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy.
Carefully we walk on tiptoe!
In fact, in matters earth, water, fire and airy, he us the very model of a Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy.
I polished that brass so faithfully,
That now I am the ruler of the Queen’s Navy!
[chorus]
He polished that brass so faithfully,
That now he is the ruler of the Queen’s Navy!
Arrrr. That be the last time I picks me up a crew in Penzance.
YOU WATCH DANGERMOUSE???!!!??? Now I am in love!! *bats eyes at Oren*
Maybe we’ve got this all wrong? Maybe the original intent was “YOGURT and pirates”, and we could have been making cheesy puns about dairy?
Make puns about dairy? No whey!
Curdail your urge to pun immediately – it’s more than a Dreadful Pun Hell fairy camembert.
I don’t know where all this is Leyden but there Colby a lot more puns Beaufort it’s over.
I’m drooling Asiago to the deli!
That’s a real guda pun, guda enough to build a Roquefort out of.
Boo, bad pun.
You mean gouda? You need to type more caerphilly.
I was hoping someone would make that one. =]
Yes, that’s a muensterously good one. These cheesy puns are becoming a cottage industry.
Milking this one for all it’s worth. Just skim off the best ones. The cream of the crop.
Helsinki, my NAME is cheddar. Lol
It must be hard to do Yoga poses when you have a wooden leg.
Unless they ask you to put your leg over your head. Then you can just unscrew it and raise it with your hand.
Win! ^.^
More natural? I don’t think it’s natural if your ship gets invaded by pirates, and suddenly they’re like “Oh! it’s time for yoga!” and they’ll actually do yoga.
I hope they remember to move the parrots before they do the Sarvangasana.
You heard about the new excersise program?
“Pontius Pilates – If you can’t get into shape, we wash our hands of you!”
Jeezuz. Suffering. Feck. That was bad. *clonk*
Yes!! Crucify him!! Crucify him!!
“Wewease Woderick!”
Welease Woger!
Weally? Why?
I weally wanted to post this video for you guys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pBM6qhMnsw
It is my favorite commercial of all time!!
*sigh* Thank you Mods.
Since the Mods suck, click name for video.
Now will someone please explain to me the honey combs.
They’re not yellow golf balls??
…or a strange way of telling us that yoga cures hives.
Ommmmmmm my god, nesting fail!
It’s the Plank fer ye then!!!!
If the plank is furry, you better shave it….
I thought those were yellow disco balls.
If your balls are yellow, you have a problem!
My first thought was “waffles”…
It may be, may be not. Yes it is, well may be no.
Very good! I didn’t get that the first time I read it!
That must be the voice of life crying: Bee!
You all may mock, but I learned a lot from Yogi Blackbeard. Ommmm-Arrrrh!
You must be really good at the Plank pose.
I used to be good at the Yoga-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.
What, no pic-a-nic basket? Oh, wait… Yogi was a BROWN beard…
Yeah, but then he got a splinter.
So I switched to the Max Planck pose, but somehow I ended up with a black body.
Is that a constant?
The “h” it is!
You Scurvy Posters!!
Everybody knows that Pirates are Dairy Sensitive!!
But, but… what about me? I’m a ninja.
Then how about a mid-life career change? There’s lots of ninjas, but there’s a real shortage of yoga pirates! Besides, it’s more beauty, more healthy, and more natural for your life.
What if I LIKE Flipping Out? *pouts*
Never leave the darkness!
Ninjas and wizards forever!
Which is why I chose to be a ninjawiz.
Cookies, too.
To quote Gamers 2 “everything is better with pirates”
What’s with the honeycombs? do they mean yoga and pirates and more beety?
Oh those pirates! Gotta love um!
Why is the rum gone?!!!!
It’s a good muscle relaxant for yoga
But WHY?!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Dressed up in pirate motif, Doo Dah, doo dah.
Stretching with a knife in teeth. Oh de doo dah day
Worked out on a mat
with a parrot and a hat.
It’s time to slog
through a smoothy grog. Oh de doo dah day.
The metal picture I got from that was hilarious
Where can I send away to get that metal picture?
*sees typo*
oy.
*clonks self over the head with a wooden leg*
Never mind your wooden leg, where’s my metal picture??
Um, if somebody already points it out…….am I still supposed to *ding* you?
I don’t think you are certified to ding. Are you doing an internship with the Dreadful Spelling Sprite?
Yes, he is. However, my advice is to try to avoid dinging mere typos, which are usually more fun to play with, anyway.
Ah, ok then.
I have tin plate, silver emulsion, mercury and photo chemicals for a tin type. The flash powder scares the feathers off of the bird.
Your bird has feathers? My ex’s bird had hair (think about it)
Teehee!!
It’s an ad for the new Johnny Depp exercise tape set in Jamaica: “Pilates of the Caribbean”.
Ha – you just want to see Kiera Knightley put her ankles behind her head.
Maybe at the time. But hasn’t she gone rather, um, skeletal of late?
I want I want I want that shirt!!!
Were can i buy that??!?!?!??!?
It’s supposed to be “pilates” isn’t it?? lmao!!
namaste matey!
Arrrrh ye have very flexible legs tharr Cap’n Greenstump.
Sigh, it’s just an eastern offshoot of Pastafarianism that encourages meditation. Similar to the Swiss arm of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Ramen) encouraging Yarrrrdeling.
ahahahahahhaa OMG
Jack Sparrow teaching?
Downward Facing Scurvy Dog, anyone?
Ar greeet the sun or you’ll will walk the plank! AR!