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The direction of companion mind should cooperate with rescue at lighting of a red lamp,or a buzzer. Please give me connection from a nearly extraordinary telephone.
Submitted by:Cal J via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST
DIE TROLL! *kills richard, throws his body into a toilet, runs away*
Oh, hey, I wish people would stop dumping these things in my yard…
*gets the body out of the toilet, moves it to a dumpster*
Flushes toilet.
But what about the poor Dumster Sharks?
There is no such thing as a dumb shark!
Hey, have you met my cousin Bubba? They don’t call him “Hammerhead” just because of his species…
He’s trying to figure out the 360 degree vision thing and he gets vertigo.
You mean Bubba Gump?
Please hold on the line and someone will be here to assist you shortly. All our other operator are busy assisting other trolls.
You need to get a Troll-free number.
Nah, just a nearly extraordinary telephone.
I don’t think I could give them connection as my cell phone is not nearly extraordinary. I wish it were at least ordinary, but not even that.
Meh, my cell phone dies every 12 hours unless charged.
Mine too, except it also dies after a 10 minute conversation. Even when I haven’t finished that conversation, it will end it for me.
If I talk or not, my cell dies in 10-12 hours! I could talk for 2 or 3 hours, and the battery would still have the same time left!
our cellphones must of been seperated at birth
It sounds like all 3 of you need new batteries.
When/if you get them, for best battery life, put the phone on charge for 12 hours, then drain it until the battery is as flat as you can get it, then charge it again.
Now, try and avoid putting it on charge until you start getting the “low charge” warning.
Edit Para 2 – “…then charge for 12 hours it again.”
Whoa! I wouldn’t go along with “as flat as you can get it”. Below a certain voltage, this can damage batteries if you do this with a load on them. Preferably, use a voltmeter (or get someone who knows how) and stop when the reading is down to about 1 volt per cell. This is for NiCd or NiMH.
Definitely don’t fully discharge a Lithium ion battery! They don’t like it.
I just realised you folks are in winter right now. Are your phones cold- below 60F? The batteries don’t like being too cold.
Modern handsets (anything made in the last 7 or 8 years) won’t let you discharge enough to drain the cells to 0V; they’ll stop you at a safe for the cells level (usually by turning the phone off and refusing to let you turn it back on).
Using a hammer is the quickest way to get it as flat as possible.
Hammers and Playstations are not compatible.
Heh, I guess you saw that video too?
Video? Huh. I have been saying that for awhile! I didn’t even KNOW there was a video!
Oh, I dunno, I’d certainly like to take to my husband’s PS with a hammer sometimes.
Don’t you dare give me that BS……….
He didn’t mean THAT kind of battery!
Oh, yes, that’s an even better idea, I’d like to get a formation of heavy artillery and take to the husband’s Playstation with that.
Yeah. I hate Playstations! Xbox 360s are SOOOOOOOOOO much better. (BTW, which one does he have?)
Actually it just seems to be the service provider for mine, as every single phone I’ve had from them does this, and the people I know who have also bought their phones. But seeing as I’m on a family plan and I got my phone for free…the price is right.
My problem is the battery but I haven’t gotten another one because I renew my contract next month and will qualify for a new phone. Dare I say it, an Extraordinary New Phone!
I hate it when my companion mind resists rescue. Doesn’t it understand what the red lamp means?
Perhaps your companion mind is blind. Try the buzzer instead.
I’d like to see the lighting of a buzzer.
Easily done. Just feed it enough current.
I fed it enough past that it’s still full. I can’t get it to eat any current.
Current is good on bread!
If you can’t get current, try some up-to-date spread.
I will NOT settle for connection from a telephone that is only “nearly extraordinary”! Give me extraordinary, or give me death!
Will you like it slow and painful?
Just make it extraordinary, and then I won’t have to die.
Or I can give you an extraordinary death!
Best of both.
Hey! Lookie what I found! (name)
(it takes a little while to load, be patient!)
HOLY SH8T. They’ve been cloning bluejades!
O…..kay…. Now can someone explain what that site is for?
Those are the photos for the family tree.
I wanted to see how many Bluejades avatars there were!
Speaking of extraordinary death, I am reminded of a true story. This was told to me by my sister-in-law who works at the place this happened.
This was at a retirement home. One of the nurses who has HUGE boobs exposed herself to one of the old men in his room. He started having a heart attack and died.
I wonder how she got busted? Oh, wait……
I suppose that is better than than a lingering death by disease, and it makes for a more interesting obit. Unfortunately, the guy that died didn’t get a chance to brag about his cause of exit.
We must brag for him.
I’m kidding of course, so, sad, it wasn’t his time to go and because of the negligence of the nurse he died.
We all have to go somehow. If the guy had been handed a list of choices of ways to go; and “boob shock” was on the list, it probably wouldn’t look so bad next to the other options.
That would be the right way to go!
I would hope it would be the left AND right way to go!
*gives him death*
Cake or death?
Death is true. The cake is a lie.
^win^
I wish I could participate on the internet
Erm…..you just did!
He probably doesn’t have an internet connection, so he can’t see what he just posted.
But………………how could he post that if he doesn’t have teh interwebs?
He looks psychic. I bet he just thought it.
No, he looks more like a Bond. James Bond, that is.
No, he is …. Taco, Turbo Taco.
No, its a me, Mario!
those eastern philosophies are full of wisdom indeed
“Companion mind” – is this referring to the voices in my head? Because I make a point of not listening to them. Especially the shrill one that keeps telling me it’s time to dig up the automatics, and MAKE THEM PAY.
*uses hypnosis* The voices will now tell you to give the automatics to jinxed
“Companion mind” immediately took me back to Brian Stableford’s “Star Pilot Grainger” series and The Wind. Ah, the Hooded Swan was a fine ship….
I must read my copies of that series the next time I’m visiting my Mum!
The direction of companion mind should salivate stimulus of the ringing bell.
Pavlov, I just started to salivate just by reading that.
I think I can translate this one from Engrish to English.
“In case of an emergency, please be prepared to cooperate with emergency services personnel when the red light is lit, or when the buzzer sounds. You can communicate with an emergency services officer through the nearby special-purpose phone line. Thank you for your co-operation.”
Anyone out there able to translate the Kanji?
Yep, Sarge, that’s pretty close, interpolations and all. They should hire you!
Agreed
P.S. A better translation of “éåøøé»č©±” would be “emergency telephone”.
-The direction of companion mind should cooperate with rescue at lighting of a red lamp-
That is so cool! Almost poetic, would be a really good as the beginning of the second paragraph in a novel.
Or at least I think so.
oops…correction–would really be good as the beginning…
*gets mindworm*
ā« Go, go, really be good.ā«
So this are being in red lamp district?
Yes, so much better than the red light district. Nearly extraordinary.
Wait till you find out what they do with the buzzer……….
This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “joy buzzer”!
Well, it does fit comfortably in your hand.
Speak for yourself!
*arf arf!*
Now John, don’t get c0cky.
I want to get a belt buckle like that!
Confucius say: Man who get c0cky in belt buckle give water even when not stepped on.
Anybody get the reference? Bones?
If I had a nearly extraordinary telephone, maybe I could phone an alien and propose marriage.
Do you has serious potato?
Phone home!!
I submitted this back in September – it was outside a service station disabled toilet in Japan. I guess it’s something to do with a panic button, but who really knows?
Post FTW!
The location would seem to explain it. I’m guessing the phone is there in case a disabled person has a sudden problem.
Makes perfect sense, then. When I was wheeling my mom around in Japan last summer, the bathrooms for the disabled had panic/call buttons. Nursing homes and hospitals have them as standard requirements in the USA as well.
All public toilets should have an emergency button that you can push, for example, when you realise that there’s no paper, or the damned thing won’t flush.
*moves rotting body from like 2 months ago and burns it and teabags it*
Wait!…. What?! Somebody didn’t get enough hugs when they were little???
Oh. My. Gosh! Someone ran over my iPhone….oh wait, it’s just my iPad.
iPad – just the thing a girl needs when she has a iPMS.
I think I’ll wait to buy until they come out with a Max-iPad.
You got an iPad? I…am……so………..sorry!
The closer it gets to extraordinary, the farther from an iPhone it is.