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Deep fried shrimp
Cutler capelin
Deep fried squid tentade with salt & pepper
U.S. Potato Party
Chill german pork knuckle with green mustard & spicy sauce
Submitted by: Trip6 via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Cheezburger Network Blog
*sigh* I was hoping not to get political today.
Mr. Head Potato for the President!
But our President is already a potato head!
But the previous Head of State was at least one potato short.
I think that the new President’s head is MADE of potato! No brains, just potato.
I’ll let the previous one speak to himself: “Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculated, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There’s a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It’s kind of muddled.” –George W. Bush, explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005
And yes, I said “speak to himself” deliberately: “I can only speak to myself.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005
It all sounds pretty muddled and confusing. But he also said.
“I’m the commander — see, I don’t need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president.” –as quoted in Bob Woodward’s Bush at War
“I don’t particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it.” –George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007
So, people can’t put words in his mouth but God can:
“I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn’t do my job.” –to a group of Amish he met with privately, July 9, 2004
Yes, I believe that God did speak through him: but he was a VERY bad interpreter!
According to that person, I should be stripped of my nationality, because I am an atheist.
I’m not sure which “person” you’re referring to, but the USA was clearly founded on the principle of freedom of religion, which HAS TO include freedom from religion for those who so choose. Obama was right to declare that the USA is not a Christian nation, even though most people in the states declare themselves so. Now as an ordained minister and a follower of Yeshua bar Yusefa (Jesus’ name as it was at the time, and Jesus was a Jew, something that Christians tend to forget), I have nothing against Christianity, although many of the people who claim the mantle make me cringe. But all religions and philosophies are maps, models, representations of an infinite reality that no human mind can truly comprehend. So to argue over which map is “true” is stupid, because they’re all inaccurate, symbolic, simplified, and which map is the best depends on where you are and where you want to go next. I’m with the Native Americans on this one, as they generally believed that arguing about religious and spiritual matters was just rude and unnecessary.
*sings* Oh, they don’t make Jews like Jesus any more…”
Ooh, Kinky!
@JohnB:
I believe it was the elder president Bush (rather than the most recent one) who once said that he didn’t believe that an atheist could rightfully considered to be an American.
To DnT; server not found.
@htom: Oh, THAT person. Yes, I vaguely recall that. I SO wish people would stop confusing religiosity, or lack thereof, with patriotism and with politics.
@ JohnB Feb 12th at 2:08PM.
I’d agree that the USA is not a Christian nation; rather it is a nation of Christians.
Why would God speak through a jackass like that?
How do you know God isn’t speaking through Obama?
hey hey, I know bush wasn’t the most intelligent man, but since when does that make him a “jack@ss”? And btw, it’s probably obama’s abortion views that let us know god isn’t working through him…
Didn’t say Bush was stupid, although I do think he had a bit of brain damage due to drug and alcohol abuse. I think that’s why he had a tendency to misspeak.
I consider him a jackass due to involving us in a nasty war in Iraq, and destabilizing that country, leading to untold civilian deaths and human misery. If I don’t think of him as a jackass, I have to consider that he is genuinely evil, and being a jackass is preferable.
I’ve never heard God express a view on abortion one way or the other. Obama’s views on abortion seem pretty mainstream.
Have you ever considered that your God is actually responsible for a lot of the abortions that happen? I’m talking about the “natural” ones here, as opposed to the assisted ones, which are the only ones where humans have any say.
Yes, Bush is a jackass. because jackasses become the president who has contributed more help and money to starving people in Africa more than any other president in history. Good Call, jackass.
@jinxed: Not all of us who are deeply religious believe that we should force women to bear children against their will.
Seconded; all that is necessary for a man to support a pre-Choice platform is the belief that he does not have the right to tell women what to do with their bodies.
@JohnB Not all of us are believe in killing innocent children, which is just as bad as killing someone because they found a secret of yours, but what do you care?
@jinxed: *sigh* I really didn’t want to get into this, but if you take the position that the fetus is a person, period, then abortions cannot be performed on victims of r@pe or incest, since I cannot kill someone simply because they are the product of one of these. The only possible justification would then be to save the life of the mother, and then it would have to be clear she was in imminent danger of dying, since I cannot kill someone because of possible danger, only immediate jeopardy. Yet the majority of those who claim the fetus is a child seem to believe there should be those exceptions, which seems to indicate they realize the fetus is not yet fully a human life. Similarly, if parents learn the child they have conceived carries the genes for Tay-Sachs disease, should they be forced to give birth to a child who will invariably suffer horribly and die by age four at the latest? Bottom line is that since this is a difficult issue about which there are clear and deep divisions, the government forcing the woman to bear the child is just not something consistent with the ideals this country is founded on, which include freedom of thought and freedom of religion. If “pro-life” people were really that interested in reducing the number of abortions, they ought to be campaigning loudly for more secks education in the schools, including detailed instructions on the use and effectiveness of contraceptives, to which these same people are almost always opposed.
As to the ad hominem attack implying that I do not care about children, I do not know much about you from your posts, since unlike me you don’t reveal much about who you are and what you do (which, in itself is fine; I just happen to have reached an age and achieved an attitude that allows me to be unusually transparent), but if you have done more in your lifetime than I have done for the health, welfare, and safety of children, then I’d love to hear about it.
Why do you think the President is unintelligent?
The fact that an “internets” sanctuary for unemployed people is full of Liberals and Atheists just makes me “Roll On Floor Laughing”
Oh noes… if I have a job, does this mean that I have to leave? DO NOT WANT!
I wasn’t sure what site Essayons was referring to?
Since there is very a diverse group of people here, many including myself, are employed or productively engaged in some type of activity, work or schooling. There also appears to be a diversity of religious views, beliefs and opinions.
I’m somewhat puzzled, do you know what he’s talking about?
Don’t know. I’ve complained about needing work. I’m actually working, I just need to make more $$, have more fun and hold my head up.
More $$ and more fun.
Most everyone can use more of both of those
(there does seem to be some shortages lately)
And since when are atheism and liberalism linked? I am staunchly liberal and firmly theistic. And what the heck would be funny about unemployed people being liberal or atheist, even if this site were composed of such, which it obviously isn’t?? In fact, what is funny about anybody being unemployed???
Perhaps we should just put up a sign saying:-
“Do not feed the Conservatroll”?
Nesting down here!
Re: nation of Christians concept; I have only known small handful of those I can consider truly Christian. They have been awesome, tolerant, non-judgmental people. I wish we did have a nation of these people. It might be a bit boring, but it would be calm and peaceful.
I second that emotion. I believe Jesus would be turning over in his grave, if he were still in it, due to the actions of so many people who claim his name.
A tolerant Christan? >:|. True Christan’s should never be tolerant of any of horrible things that occur around them everyday.
Intolerance IS one of the horrible things that occur around me every day.
Hey, I found my cousin! See? This is my old avatar!
wow. that’s odd.
His choice of terrorist friends/Anti-Christ pastor & his similar behavior/him continuing the war in Iraq…….the list goes on.
The church pastor he had isn’t any more out-to-lunch than white fundamentalists on the other side of the political fence, which is yet another reason to eschew religion…
Unfortunately, stopping a war is far more difficult than starting one.
To Essayons: how much of that aid to Africa actually materialized? This was another source of international embarrassment. The way the “aid” was structured continues to bleed Africa.
You mean the 1,000,000 HIV ridden lives pepfar has saved with its $15 billion program as of Bush’s visit to Africa in 2008? Plus the same plan covering and treating an additional 19 million Africans with AIDS? I’d say over a million Africans who would have otherwise succumbed to the disease and are still alive today because of Bush’s program is quite a bit of “materialization” wouldn’t you say? Little more effective than Bill Clintons Somalia, eh?
See? My brudder! *gives Essayons a hug*
The “same plan” covering an additional 19 million Africans, and also expanding the focus to malaria and tuberculosis, was enacted by a Congress that tripled the amount of aid Bush had requested. Hardly the “same plan”! Spending $3 billion a year out of a federal budget of more than $3 trillion on a humanitarian project hardly represents a great achievement, especially when you’re throwing more than a trillion dollars and thousands of American lives on an unnecessary war based on a personal vendetta and justified by lying to the American people and Congress, and deregulating financial institutions to the point that our banking system became a house of cards that crashed down in a financial tsunami from which we have yet to fully recover.
oh my gosh!
this is a pet peeve of mine
why on earth does everybody worry about terrorists?
it just promotes racism.
millions more people die because of obesety.
but are people doing anything about that?
nooooooo
they get called hippies
I have very little respect for the human race im afraid.
and im only 13!
sad.
Popular with the catholic church? (runs for cover)
The potatoes at my house wanted to go to this US potato party, but I told them they had a dinner to go to.
Do they have to dress formal?
We usually peel off their outer skin.
Youwch!
*poof*
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *lands on jinxed’s head*
Chill, German Pork Knuckle.
But Jinxed clonked me into Friday: that’s today!
It’s always today.
What is today: but yesterday’s tomorrow?
Today is the only real time we ever have. The future is uncertain, and our memories of the past are unreliable. Being fully present in this moment is the closest approximation we normally have to eternity.
And every beginning is some other beginning’s end.
Wait, I thought the Chill German was separate from the Pork Knuckle. A chill German would be cool.
hahaahaha. I’m now Jinxed, not jinxed, so you just landed on somebody else’s head.
*scratches Jinxed*
*steals SS’s chicken.
??? WTF are you talking about?!
Of course – potatoes in their jackets.
This is a serious group! Not joking!
No, this is a satirical group. The REAL party draws its inspiration from Dan Quayle, and is the US Potatoe Party.
Lay out a real party platform so we can tell who and what is what. Compare candidates to the platform. I want a real ‘tater, not a fotatofu eating fauxtater.
That’s half the job. The other half is to determine who’s buying and who’s selling.
I wonder what the Chinese means. Are French fries considered an American dish? Baked potatoes laden with sour cream? I also think of the potato-based religions of Discworld…
lets start our own political group, … with blackjack and hookers
What would the name be? The Suspicous Corner Party?
Judging by the behavior of our politicians, that would be the Business as Usual Party.
Or the “What else did you expect? Party”
Yes, of course, you are right. Since all of them call themselves a Party of one type or another, they indeed do try to party, when they can.
Or the “Let’s have a” Party.
Or the “Off Constantly” party. If that party became one of two major parties in a country, what would people of the other party be saying every time they won an election?
the pizza party!
Actually, forget the politics and the blackjack!
These translations look pretty accurate to me.
It’s like a party in my mouth and all the world’s potatoes are invited!
I would SO order that.
I thought that potatoes were the one thing (besides marriage) you couldn’t joke about…now they’re having parties?
Yeah, but they’re just not a lot of fun.
Put jacket German chill fastly!
As a German Pork Knuckle I have to say that I AM PERFECTLY COOL DAMMIT!!!
/high blood pressure
I’m still wondering if squid need tentades. I’ve never seen a squid camping.
Until you see a squid doing a RuPaul impersonation, you haven’t lived.
They have those in DPh?
Not yet – do you think we ought to employ one?
We? I get to make decision now?
*happy*
*coughs* …I’d like to see the impersonation first, then I’ll give you my opinion.
I get to make decisions now?*
Well, I’m pretty much out of ideas as to how we can persuade people to stay in Dreadful Pun Hell for any length of time once they’ve been sent there – the revolving door never stops spinning – if you have any suggestions, I’d be eager to hear them. Maybe we should put an ad in the classifieds for drag queen cephalopods, and hold some auditions. If nothing else, the dreadful punners we send there might hang around a bit out of bewildered curiosity.
Pffft! Squid acts are for suckers.
Em, what makes you think that we stop punning when we’re in Dreadful Pun Hell?
Oh, I know for a fact you don’t – I just don’t dwell on it, because if I thought about it too hard then some days I might just not be able to drag myself out of bed.
ok i know that pork knuckle happens to be a Bavarian specialty
but what the hell is green mustard?!
It sounds like Wasabi mustard. It will cure you or kill you.
It could be served with mustard greens.
What is the process that determines whether I am cured or am killed?
Whether or not you are able to go back for seconds. Whether you want to is another matter.
The length of time you spend unable to breath after taking an injuducious amount of it!
It’s mustard that isn’t ripe yet.
Wanda!!
but don’t treat me like a potato….
Nope, sorry, I’d still rather vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party. Or maybe the Party Party Party Party.
I am leaning toward a theocracy of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Party. I need help from all of you to lobby for me as Pope.
You got my vote! All for pasta, and pasta for all!
Ramen.
We need to unite around our differences. We are not just a party of red ragu. We need the garlic butter and alfredo believers to unify with us and affirm, to ourselves and others, our commitment to diversity. Solid or hollow, curly or straight, we are flour and eggs to our core.
…except for the gnocci purists who content that eggs are an abomination in the sight of gnocci – I would welcome them, and would hope that they would be drawn to your message of inclusiveness and siblinghood amongst pastafarians. I think that a concerted effort to reach out to our gluten-free brethren would be helpful, since they so often are made to feel left out due to their choice of flour.
Rice pasta really is delicious!
I will affirm, with my dying breath, that we are all friends and of one spirit, with flour of all origins, wheat, rice, buckwheat, rye, or any other grain, and too with those who are key to our success, but hiding from the limelight, soy and cornmeal.
We base our platform on the same foundations, origins, and spirit as gnocci, and if anyone can form gnocci without wheat flour and eggs, we want them active and running in the foreground of our organization.
Say Ramen!
Praise the pasta and pasta makers.
Pass the parmesan, please.
With your “dying breath??” Oh, sh!t, this serious!! Somebody pretend to be a doctor, quick!
I will affirm, with all of the life force available to me…
No need to perform the sacred anointment of sharp cheddar cheese sauce.
Take this excellent aged vintage cheese and eat of it… it doesn’t signify anything in particular, it just tastes really good.
I will take it and mix with milk, flour, and bacon bits, pour it over macaroni, and bake it into a sacramental macaroni and cheese.
Suggestion: if you want be really kinky, mix it with V-8 juice instead of milk, and make the roux with butter and olive oil 50/50…
Deviation! Deviation! That’s just not how we do things in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
She keeps using olive oil. We need to watch her. She may have a papist background or leanings.
ALFREDO!
This isn’t engrish, it is a correct translation of the chinese
*deep breath* oh why bother.
*going for the political debate instead*
Assuming that god (not religious therefor no capitalization since it is not a name) speaks THROUGH Mr. Bush Junior then I ask myself from which end, especially when considering the amount of crap that came out of his mouth.
hmm managing to insult both religion and politics in one sentence
How do we know that God isn’t insulted when people assume He speaks through Mr. Bush Jr.?
How would you know anything!? you might be a zombie!
Maaybe, could be.
I didn’t say I knew anything.
I only posed a question.
May have meant it to be only amusing.
A belief structure that includes a right-wing god shouldn’t have any trouble accommodating a zombie… stretch to fit!
When politics and religion merge; it’s not as tough as it seems at first gasp. Nonetheless; a noble effort!
But one that generally causes me more than one gasp.
U.S. Potato Party? Is that any relation of the Tea Party I keep hearing about?
I don’t think so, that was only in Boston.
Hey dr handle, you never told us you had a brother!
Actually, she did.
*leaves before rant starts*
I’ve probably mentioned it at some point *shudder* I try not to remember that distressing fact myself.
I have an idea!
Why don’t we have a Potato Party, as in “joyful celebration of a tasty and versatile vegetable” and forget about all this divisiveness?
Potluck… we can each bring our favorite potato-based dish (or our very own favorite potato, if we have one).
C’mon folks, tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day!
YAY!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY A REAL LIFE POTATO PARTY!
Well, it’s certainly no surprise, but apparently:
Take 1 Internet
Add both politics *and* religion
Light and get away
I’ll apologize now. I don’t really want to spoil things. Spring is in the air and I get rowdy!
…retire to safe distance, don protective helmet, light fuse…
*takes off helmet, runs to the fire: stares at it*
A classic example of how curiosity killed the cat.
What are you talking abo-BOOM!!!!!!!!
ah…
but it is so amusing to watch!
Why did you put tentade when it is tentacle, just a hard to read font?
Didn’t you know? When you put the c and l next to each other they create a d.
cl d
Well of course. It’s as dear as clay.
Does everyone seriously have to attack the tea party movement every chance they get? Maybe if you liberals weren’t so naive and hard headed about everything you’d see the tea party groups have a good point. Our president is spending like mad, unemployment is HIGHER than he said it would ever get and the dollar is failing. Guess what? He keeps spending and pushing more crap that won’t help us. I don’t see how insuring another 27million Americans would help our economy at all. It’s not helping the insurance companies and it’s sure not helping the hospitals. In most cases their pay is going to get cut…
And, in all seriousness, all of this attacking just looks pathetic… We can tell you’re afraid libs…
As an unabashed and thoroughly unrepentant liberal, I am not scared at all. The “Tea Party” is just a straw man for the conservative wing of the GOP, and they’re pushing the same old nonsense they’ve been pushing for ages. “Make government smaller”–yeah, like Reagan did? Like George W did? Under both of them, government got bigger. “Cut taxes and reduce the deficit”–whoo, boy, that sure worked when Dubya did it, didn’t it? Took us from a budget surplus right into trillions more debt. What recent American President got the deficits under control? A “fiscally conservative” Republican? No, it was Clinton! The “Tea Party” pays Sarah Palin $100,000 to share her “wisdom” with them? A woman who makes fun of Obama for using a teleprompter, when she has to read from crib notes on her hand?? Crib notes containing all of five words??? Oh, yeah, these sure are clever folks that we should listen to. NOT!
As for the health care mess, as someone who has worked in health care for 33 years, I can tell you what’s wrong with the system, and it sure isn’t the pharmaceutical companies and health insurance companies and nursing home corporations going broke. THEY are the pit all our health care dollars are going down! They make higher and higher profits, charge more and more, and cover less and less. And hello, the cost of health care for uninsured Americans? Here’s a clue: You’re ALREADY paying for it! Why does it cost $3000 a day to stay in the hospital? Because of all the people who are uninsured and can’t pay! Hospitals don’t take non-paying patients out of the goodness of their hearts. They take them because they’re required by law, and then pass on the cost to you. Don’t want bureaucrats taking over health care? Hello, they already have, and they work for the insurance companies, and they have people making decisions who don’t know a boil from a bum, and they have ZERO accountability whatsoever for their decisions! If I try to get a suicidal patient hospitalized, and the insurance company refuses, and the patient commits suicide, the insurance company can’t be sued by the family, but I can! You can’t even find out who these people really are. And their job is to make the company a profit, not to pay for people to get care. That’s just a cost of doing business, and each day they play games to delay paying your doctor, they are making money off the “float” by investing it. So health care reform would HELP the economy, not drain it. The cost of medical insurance has become one of the chief barriers preventing small businesses from hiring. They can afford the salary, they just can’t afford the bennies.
The financial mess we’re in was not caused by Big Government; it was caused by deregulation of business to the point that our economy became a house of cards that collapsed. Gee, a whole year and Obama hasn’t undone all the damage Dubya inflicted in eight years! How incompetent of him! Never mind that we’ve gone from losing 700,000 jobs a MONTH under Bush to a quarter of that. It’s not fast enough! So what if unemployment is finally declining for the first time in years? Doesn’t mean anything! Come on, give me a break! The economy IS doing better than it was. When Bush left office it was in free fall, with no end in sight. People were talking about the Great Depression II. No, things are not all peaches and cream. But we’ve turned a corner.
So am I afraid? Hell, no! I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more! So take your Tea Party and go away. You are not offering any solutions whatsoever for the very real problems our country and our world faces. You’re just getting in the way, obstructing and blocking those who are trying to fix things. The hell with tea; wake up and smell the coffee!
Thank you! However, there is another thing that you haven’t mentioned that is a big problem. Doctors are not paid based on how well their patients recover, but instead get paid based on the number of tests they run on their patients. So, it would probably be better to pay doctors based on the outcomes of their patients than based on the number of tests they run.
*johnb
*mudkip
*gives thumbs up
yes agreed