That’s one way to get out school
Diploma Is A Tool of Satan
Diplomas and academic status are Satan’s tools of oppression
To obtain them, students have come slaves to the education systems of the human kingdoms
We are honorable children of God
We need not subject ourselves to their system
….. being affirmed by God.
The temptation was too great .. and pretty.
Submitted by: Amanda via Engrish Funny Submissions
Taiwan
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And I JUST started going back to school last month – why wasn’t I warned?
Just because it is a foreign poster with english on it, doesn’t make it an engrish dot com worthy.
Diploma sucks anyway. A bachelor’s degree is where it’s at.
That depends on what degree the bachelor has.
Sigh….too true…
is that a silent “h”?
that is why a fail is this not engrishfun
What the…?
I thought metric system was the tool of satan, according to Abe Simpson.
My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!
And I thought a diploma was a tool of “whitey” to make black people “act white.”
Boo, the logo has cut off the funny! Bad form!
Hear that Diploma? The sign called you a tool! Heheh….tool…
That tool of satan took me years of hard work to get.
Daniela?
Uh, no, sorry.
…….a friend found the name associated with la conejita…..just wondering…
I think you’re being stalked.
No, I didn’t ask him to look it up! He just said he found those words together many times online.
Well, good detective work, Holmes. But I believe you and your friend Watson have failed this time. My real name starts with an S, and no, I’m not Naked Sara.
I won’t try to guess what is is. I’ll give you your privacy. (Hey by the way, look out your window!)
OMG, please tell me you’re not that perv who leaves next door to me and is always looking towards my house.
He would like to be.
NO NO NO! Not at all! I’m sorry if I left that impression! I don’t want to make you paranoid! *feels bad*
The drooling is getting totally out of hand. I hope it’s drool…
Yes, it’s drool.
I thought it was Droll.
Droll is Drooling?
Not very often, and never out of my hand!
Just kidding! I don’t have a perv neighbor who picks out the window.
And why didn’t the Dreadful Spelling Sprite not catch my mistake, he’s been slacking off. How will I ever write proper English if I am not being corrected for my mistakes.
Hey, you certainly could have leaves next door.
Just kidding! I don’t have a perv neighbor who picks out the window.
And why didn’t the Dreadful Spelling Sprite not catch my mistake? He’s been slacking off. How will I ever write proper English if I am not being corrected for my mistakes?
I assume from the way you write that you still have a Mexican accent. That’s cute!
If you want to be corrected, I think you meant “peeks” instead of “picks” and farther back, the perv who “lives”, not “leaves”.
The message is silly (sirry), but it is NOT Engrish.
LAUGH AT THE FUNNY DANGIT! LAUGH AT IT!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (I am definitely being pleasured with strong funny).
Yes, because that is your funny Engrish!
Actually, it is, the sign should say “The diploma is a tool of satan
Does the tool of Satan still ignite at Fahrenheit 451?
No, they are in 452 now.
Sigh. I agree: not Engrish. Just propaganda. Honestly, stuff like that’s just depressing to see in any language. I’d rather have my “tools of Satan” than BE a tool of whatever religion it is there can’t stand to have its followers open a book and learn things. Sounds like some of the stuff we keep hearing over here. I wish these people would understand that knowledge isn’t slavery, but to keep people from obtaining it is.
Hate to say it, its not just over there, we have it over here too they just pick different battles
Remember that in the country in question, the chase after “academic status” may not be quite what you’re used to from home. People kill themselves for not getting entry to the “best” schools.
Look somewhere else for your self-esteem, kids, it’s good advice. Of course, an education can be useful in other ways.
If you understand the culture behind the countries that use the first language in this poster you’d understand. While this is a bit extreme, well… let’s just say that the body and soul often sustain collateral damage in the pursuit of academic achievement here. Sometimes irreversible.
I agree. Propaganda, not engrish. Perhaps if it said that a diploma was the tool of Santa…
We’re not slaves to the education. Just the student debt.
To all my students:
”
No, this is not an excuse for missing class or not turning in your homework. Sorry!
Goes to show that crazies are everywhere in every language. And so true, “Me
Sorry conflict of interests, your opinion can not be trusted to be unbiased in this argument.
I agree 100% with the message! Suck it, colleges!
Actually, since you payed for it to begin with, you have to suck it!
Perhaps you should go (or go back) to college. It’s “paid”, not “payed”.
Well EXCUSE me for not being a toll of satan!
OMG! Even Satan is collecting taxes now??
Yes. It’s called syntax.
Yes, it is funny, but before anything else comes to mind I have to say WTF .
I’d rather be an educated Tool of Satan that just an ignorant follower of some other imaginary being. Let’s all hit the Highway to Hell – they have more interesting people there, anyway.
Can’t…….. resist……..
Even a tool of Satan needs a handle.
It was an honorable try… *clonk!*
Let us not forget that Dreadful Puns are also the Tools Of Satan, and those who wield them are the Plumbers Of Satan! Cower in terror, foul plumbers, for ye are all damn-ed to be sent to Dreadful Pun Hell! Repent of your sins, I implore you! Repent! Repent! REPENT! Or at least promise me that you won’t take the go-karts off the track next time you go to DPH.
REpent? When did I pent?
Last time you were in the penthouse, presumably. That’s what we all thought you were doing. Hey, if you weren’t penting in the penthouse… what WERE you doing?
I haven’t been in Penthouse since my wife threw away my collection of the mags in 1987.
There’s this new thing called internet. They have there too!
Either you need to learn english over again, or the tribbles just ate one of your words…
Obviously, I didn’t get the diploma.
So, you don’t need a diploma to give them out ?
It doesn’t take much skills to hand things out.
Hey, I might work in dreadful pun heck, but it’s just to bring those poor souls out! Take that, d3vil!
The difference between DPH in the real thing is that you are given one more chance in DPH to repent.
But not in the jacuzzi, thank you, we have health standards to maintain.
I may have panted in there, but I never pented.
I did not know that plumbers were tools of Satan, but I had begun to suspect it. They seem awfully familiar with the underside of the house, they do the butt crack thing, and they charge a lot of money.
This all adds up to SATANIC.
I haf to ug ree I haf nau perjed all my lurning and edukayshun and all the other tuls of saytan and nau i’m so happy happy happyyyyy i am no salve iny moe i haf seenn delite pass mee the cool ayd pleez thank yu so muchh reverand joens
Oh noes! JohnB has turned into a lolcat! HALP!
If you want us to help him, we must give him the tool of Satan to help with that spelling.
*hands JohnB a diploma*
perj perj perj i bid you perjury all 2u
awl awl awl perj perj perj
BILLY MAYS HERE WITH SPELL-RITE. WITH THIS SIMPLE INCANTATION, YOU CAN RETURN ANY RIGHTEOUS BAST@RDS BACK TO EVIL SATANIC SPELLING. FOR ONLY 1,995 INTERNETS, THIS INCANTATION CAN BE YOURS! BUT WAIT, WE’RE NOT THROUGH! IF YOU ACT NOW… NOWWWWW….. OH-OH…
Hey! I can afford that(due to my massive overtime I worked)
u lernt da cheez spik? i has a happy! congrazulations! u ‘n i wil takes ober da wurld togeber!
I KNEW IT!!! GET THEE BEHIND ME, SHADOW!!!
Erm….I don’t trust you…….as long as you didn’t eat beans today….*gets behind Billy Mays*
*fart fart fffarrrrtttt!*
……smells like burritos!
And burrows like smellitos!
???
What, you never burrowed your smelly toes into the sand?
????
Not too many atheist regimes push religion….
Taiwan has an atheist regime?
Uh oh, I know what 1+1 equals, I’m going to Hell!
Well, Satan doesn’t need adders. He’s good with serpents, though.
Spirit of our God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Most Holy Trinity, Immaculate Virgin Mary, angels, archangels, and saints of heaven, descend upon me. Please purify me, Lord, mold me, fill me with yourself, and use me. Banish all the forces of evil from me, destroy them, vanquish them, so that I can be healthy and do good deeds. Banish from me all spells, witchcraft, black magic, malefice, ties, maledictions, and the evil eye; diabolic infestations, oppressions, possessions; all that is evil and sinful, jealousy, perfidy, envy; physical, psychological, moral, spiritual, diabolical ailments. Burn all these evils in hell, that they may never again touch me or any other creature in the entire world. I command and bid all the powers who molest me by the power of God all powerful, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, through the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary to leave me forever, and to be consigned into the everlasting hell, where they will be bound by Saint Michael the archangel, Saint Gabriel, Saint Raphael, our guardian angels, and where they will be crushed under the heel of the Immaculate Virgin Mary.
Hey, you forgot the Almighty Garden Filter!
Let’s see… I think there’s an exception I can find here… Yes, that’s it, Religious! Here comes a triabolical ailment!
I think Satin ate the comment I left for you earlier, AGF. I wanted you to know, if you don’t already; that it’s great you’re out there, and that I’m going to dedicate my next sprinkle to your honor.
Thank you, my child. But just remember, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatee.
How is anything thing going through the Virgin Mary going do something? Yes, she gave birth to Jesus, but that didn’t make her all powerful or worthy of praise. I never get why Catholics pray to her…
They don’t want to get random preggers too?
Well, since I was raised a Catholic(but I’m not religious) , I could answer you that question:
We mostly respect her as the mother Jesus, the woman who made it possible for Him to exist among men, but she’s mostly of a symbol of purity and motherly love.
Then there’s the Virgin of Guadalupe but I won’t get into that, it’s not considered biblical.
Well, I was not only raised Catholic, but used to teach CCD classes, and I am still religious although no longer Catholic, so I can tell you what the answer is, although since it doesn’t make sense to me I probably won’t be able to make sense of it to you. There is more to Catholic veneration of Mary than the fact that she gave birth to Jesus. A common misconception (pun intended) is that the Immaculate Conception was when Jesus was conceived without secks. Actually, the Immaculate Conception refers to the conception of Mary, who, although presumably her parents did the deed, was conceived without Original Sin, unlike the rest of us, who are sinful before we even do anything. Catholics also award Mary the title of “Mother of God,” which means more than just that she gave birth to an incarnation of God, although exactly what more is implied escapes me at this moment. It is also an item of Catholic faith that Mary was “ever Virgin,” meaning that even after Jesus was born, Joseph didn’t get any. (There is no agreed-upon story of how James, the brother of Jesus, came into being. I have heard it theorized that James was actually a cousin, but as far as I know that is not official.) So although Mary is not awarded the status of Godhead–she is not one of the Holy Trinity–she has an absolutely unique status among human beings, in essence just one step lower than God, and one step higher than the saints, to whom Catholics also are taught to pray. Catholicism is big on hierarchies.
But as someone who has studied nearly all the world’s religions, let me point out that religions different than those familiar to us often seem bizarre. And for those who do not believe, even familiar religions can seem bizarre.
Were I christian, I would certainly pay homage. She took the humiliating experience of having a bastard child and turned it into a miracle. She watched her child become a biblical rock and rock star, and then be executed. Throughout all, she remained a loving individual who apparently was quite self-sufficient, meanwhile functioning as an intermediary between the mundane and the divine.
Any parent would definitely want her help. Really, anyone faced with a mountain of sh!t would want her on their side.
ā« Friend of the devil is a friend if mine āŖ
typo -of
I’m pretty lame today when it comes to being a tool for Satan
Grateful Dead much?
*amen* nuff said here
Pretty sure this is an accurate translation. A bit loony, but not Engrish.
Diploma is a brand of powdered milk, and in that case I agree with the sign.
Yeah, in the past I’ve used quite a lot of it as a blocking agent in my Western blots… hey, are you calling me satanic?
If Ignorance is Bliss, then they are truly on the path to ‘Heaven’.
Other than consistently leaving the “u” out of “honourable”, where’s the Engrish?
Join the dark side! We will give you an education!
And cookies.
wow this sign is more grammatically correct than most of the stuff kids txt to each other these days.
Funny sign, but I don’t think it’s Engrish.
It’s not really Engrish. It’s just silly.
AWMG. I now, coming from a Christian family, have permission to never attend school again.
Actually, as a fundamentalist Christian, I agree with the writer of the sign. There was once a day when people didn’t need degrees to simply live their lives. We have become slaves to a system, and if you don’t run the race, you’re screwed.
Great… I’m evil now… BBBRRAAIINNNSSSS… oh wait… Thats zombies isn’t it? (just making fun of satan)
thats an amish poster dude
I wonder if they realize that the acronym for “Diploma Is a Tool of Satan” is dits.. which is exactly what you’ll become if you DON’T get one!!