Cleaning King
Returning the reality of your life
There are many lesser known kings
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Behold the power of the sponge!
» Glory! 43 Comment
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I’d rather have one that removed the reality of my life!
Come to think of it, I used to have one. It was called “drugs.” It removed the reality of my life so well that it almost removed my life from reality!
For those who gotten a little tooo closer to the edge reality or even slipped off a bit.
All that from a sponge!
Great gift idea.
oops-’of reality’
Falling off the edge can be messy so you’ll want this sponge to clean things up.
Oh thank god, I was starting to lose it.
When you do lose it, you may well find that it’s a small loss. There are alternate realities one can live in that offer advantages over what most people consider “reality.”
Like magic!
Wtf? That’s just cruel! Do not want!
Yu no like sponge bath?
The reality is that when you get a sponge bath, it’s usually after you’ve stopped caring about the things that would make it fun.
This sponge returns the reality of your life. I don’t think of us will be using it any time soon. We come here to scape reality.
I was going to try to get a grip on it, but some cretin stole the handle.
Charlie?
No, might have been the vandals.
Yep, and now the train it won’t stop going. There’s just no way to slow down.
At least his kids are leaving home.
So the pump don’t work, and God He stole the handle. Let us open our Gideon Bibles, thoughtfully brought to us by Rocky Raccoon, to page one. But first, let us sing Hymn #23, The Ballad of Subterranean Locomotive Homesick Blues Breath.
Now I’m depressed.
Thanks a lot sponge.
AHA! Newest invention in psychotherapy, just wipe those delusions and hallucinations away. It brings back reality to your life.
oh great… now I’m depressed too.
What little research has been done on happiness (as opposed to depression, which is researched to death) suggests that the capacity for some self-delusion is an important component of happiness.
That was my first thought when I saw the headline
of a newspaper article that said the people of my state, Louisiana, were the happiest in the US. We usually end up 49th on any ranking of good things.
(Thank you Mississippi and Arkansas.) The researchers reached the opposite conclusion, saying
the results mirrored the objective things that they
believed would cause happiness-three of which were abundant sunshine, low (traffic?) congestion and good air quality. New York state ranked the least happy.
As a native New Yorker, I can well believe they are the least happy. And yet quite a few of them will tell you there’s nowhere else they’d rather live. I do miss the eateries, but I don’t miss the traffic, congestion, insanely fast pace, rudeness, crime, drugs, gangs, pollution, or the incredible cost of living. My morning commute is now 20 miles of country road, so I arrive at work relaxed and focused.
And sometimes with a ticket.
Well, once in two years, it’s a small price to pay.
Y’know this could be a scheme by the pharmaceutical companies to make some real $$.
Step 1: Distribute fantasy-soaking sponges to households world-wide.
Step 2: Sell a whole bunch of expensive anti-depressants to bummed-out, disillusioned people.
Step 3: Merge with rehab centers for those who started drugs because of step 1.
Step 4: Profit.
We have a business plan.
And, under the pretenses of a presenting a symbolic gift to reflect how they are clean and sober… when they graduate rehab, give them a sponge as a parting gift.
“All This Has Happened Before, And All This Will Happen Again “
And the circle begins again.
That’s a nice way to get repeat customers!
My life has way too much reality. Is there a sponge that removes it, without leaving an unsightly stain?
Actually, I don’t think I *want* the reality of my life back. The delusions are far more enjoyable. Especially the one where I imagine that I am the Queen of Sheba, with a whole platoon of pool boys who come to clean the moat regularly.
And there I was thinking I was already “in the reality of my life”… I guess I always could use some more reality. NOT! I’m going to market a scrubbing sponge that takes you off to Fantasy Land. (Get rich quick scheme #459-B)
*goes off singing the some Disney song about scrubbing*
You mean this company stole my reality and now they want to return it?
Fortunately, I have the key to escape reality
(all together now)
And you might see me today with an illegal smile
It don’t cost very much but it lasts a long while……….
Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone
No I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun
This is cool, let’s see if it works.
Nope! Won’t give the whole song after one play from each address. Sorry!
Piece a crap.
Anyone not familiar with the work of John Prine should check it out! The man is a classic comic troubador.
HARSH!
DO NOT WANT!