Prohibit sh*t
And entrances. I don’t like them either!
Submitted by: akagi via Engrish Funny Submissions
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And stuff and whatnot. Whatever it is, we’re against it.
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So, I presume that yours are made of jade and smell like fields of wildflowers.
Or possibly made of hamsters and smells of elderberries?
If you’re a lolcat, you’ll poop rainbows.
and if your a toilet shark ?
Oh, I poop ice-cream.
I thought you also ate ice-cream?
And you wondered how a shark could sustain itself in a toilet bowl. Now you know!
Where does the ice cream come from o_O
People drop it into the toilet bowl when they’re suffering attacks of diet guilt!
So is this the ultimate in (disgusting) recycling, or the latest claim for perpetual motion?
Scout’s honour, I didn’t even know there was a pun there until I saw it on my screen!
That’s how transgressive you are – you don’t even know you’re Doing It.
…and that’s my defense, Your Honour.
Clearly a case of Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity!
And believe me, I know insanity! Perhaps I should rephrase that…
I used to be sane, but this site cured me of that affliction.
I used to be seine, but now I’m on the net.
Reminds me of a shirt or bumper sticker I once saw:
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
♫ I think I lost it
Let me know if you come across it
Let me know if I let it fall
Along a back road somewhere ♪ ♪
Oh crap,this is going to be a long ride
No sh!t!
that’s what she said <.<
*slap*
Just don’t slap the sh!t out of him here. Take it outside.
I’m sorry.
Kinky, lets take this outside.
*proceeds to slap Kinky*
Hey, leave him alone! He’s nice.
He’s being a perve!
Hey, calm down, jinxed. I wasn’t serious. I was just riffing on the sh!t theme.
Hey you! Put that sh!t away. You know that’s not allowed here.
It’s a touring (road) coach (bus).
The driver doesn’t like to empty the loo receptacle of solids at stops. Passengers are often asked to pass liquids only on the road!
Hey, it’s not like we have a choice!
Sure we do! We can just cr@p our pants instead. I’m sure that would make the ride much more pleasant for all involved.
Makes me wonder how they’re going to enforce the new “No bathroom visits in the hour before landing” rule on American flights.
Have they forgotten that sh!t happens? Prohibition is futile.
Adult diapers, no longer just for crazed lady astronauts.
What I don’t understand is: how exactly is a no-bathroom-visiting-the-hour-before-landing policy supposed to inconvenience would-be undies-detonators, anyway? Do the airlines think that everybody on board is so keen to get their hands on those laughable collections of pieces of moulded inedible plastic offcuts that is referred to as “food” in cattle class that the potential jock-bomber will think to himself “Right, I’m ready to send all these ham-sandwich-loving face-barers to Gehenna! I’ll just go to the bathroom to prime my pants… oh noes! If I do that now, I’ll miss my Chicken Salad with Salmonella Dressing and Moh’s Scale 10 Bread Roll! Curses! But if I stay in my seat for my meal, I’ll miss the no-bathroom-use deadline… drat those sneaky-weaky image-capturing kite-flying infidels! I’ll have to postpone my martyrdom. Maybe I’ll wait until we land, then blow up one of those ludicrously expensive air terminal cafes instead. Hey, I’ll be a hero to *everybody* if I do that, why didn’t I think of it before?…”
I suspect the argument is “US airport security is sound (that’ll be right
), but nowhere else’s is, so we can stop them blowing themselves up over US airspace this way.”
I think the whole process is Darwin trying to work things out and we’re still in the early stages. The real dipsh!ts are taking themselves out of the gene pool.
Unfortunately, the dipsh!ts also take some more valuable genes with them.
Evolution is a step-by-step process.
And sometimes it’s one step forward, two steps back.
This toilet has the same philosophy that I have. I don’t like to take cr@p from people.
As the Bible says, it’s better to give than to receive.
But people don’t like to get my BS.
They actually meant to say “Excretion Prohibited”. What’s more bizarre is the red text above it, reading: “Toilet”.
So it’s essentialy “no excretion in toilet”. Strange.
This isn’t some sort of Zen, is it?
Of course it is! The koan is, what is a toilet without excretion?
Cleaner.
Bored and lonely.
A happy toilet that doesn’t have to take sh!t from anybody.
It couldn’t be happy. It has lost all purpose and direction. One has to embrace one’s destiny, even if that destiny is to consume excrement.
As any good gardener knows, a moderate amount of sh!t causes growth.
Oops! Comment in the wrong place. We’re not growing toilets, are we?
If we are, I’m going to want to know what the hell kind of seeds you planted.
Close, but no cigar. What it literally says is that BIG (poop) excretion is prohibited. IE, this toilet is for small (urination) excretion only. Probably behind this door is a urinal.
It’s not uncommon for mens rooms to have signs that simply say:
to indicate where the standing and sitting toilets are. It makes a lot more sense in Japanese, (and perhaps Chinese, though I can’t speak from experience there) since each of those is a single character, so it’s EXTREMELY SHORT:
← 小 ｜ 大 →
Still, it doesn’t quite get the message across, and so is interesting engrish.
… What? It’s kind of…. common sense. It still bewilders me if they mean to say no solid in urinals.
…That reminds me of the “no semen in residential hall bathroom” thing. Seriously, I think they need to fix their plumbing than to post things like that.
“No, see men in the residential hall bathroom”O_O Where have you been living, _ ?
Stranger things have happened. South Park had a whole episode about the mystery of the urinal deuce, so it’s definitely not unheard of.
Alternatively, it could be a full toilet, but one they don’t want people to poop in for whatever reason. The sign literally just says “It’s forbidden to poop in this toilet”, I can only speculate as to WHY.
South Park episode FTW! I was going to mention that one.
Certain of our sporting “stars” don’t even bother to poop in the urinal. We need these signs in hotel corridors!
Maybe it’s the laid back surfer style authorities:
- what should we do today?
- dunno, let’s just prohibit sh!t.
…or maybe they’re just tired of sh!t happening so they prohibited it
Authorities always need money, so they will tax it. The assessment and collection will be interesting.
No sh!t, Sherlock!
“The devil made me do it.”
Eliminatory, my dear Watson.
*pulls out frying pan* *CLONK!*
Alimentary, my dear Watson.
Excretable, Watson!
Watson the floor? Oh… you….DID’NT……..
It’s sherlock that nobody stepped in that.
Can you clonk yourself? Just curious, this isn’t a reminder.
Well, I have been known to engage in auto-clonking, but I can’t speak for Dr H.
And of course if it’s done in the privacy of your own Holmes, I wouldn’t think anybody’d object.
Orly, JOHN?
I should have said, “I wouldn’t think anybody SHOULD object.” It is quite true that many people feel that what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes is their business.
And apparently I’m a little slow on the uptake today, since I didn’t notice your pun until just now!
It was a long shot, but it certainly paid off!
I am allowed to Do It occasionally simply for professional self-education purposes (otherwise known as blatant hypocrisy). You two are unspeakable, UNSPEAKABLE, Dreadful Pun offenders. Off to Dreadful Pun Hell with the pair of you. Go on. And stay out of the jacuzzi whilst you’re punning on this theme, I don’t want to have to swab the whole thing out with Dettol again.
It may not actually be a toilet door, it may be a door to that part of a McMansion known as the “parents’ retreat”. This is where parents go after bellowing at their offspring “I AM SICK OF PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SH!T!!!!!” The sign is merely to remind the children that they are in deep doodoo with mum and/or dad and they’d better behave if they ever want to eat again.
Can anyone think of a rather more polite way to say this?
Put a cork in it.
If there are 2 separate facilities, they could label this one “URINAL” and the other one “ARSENAL”.
This could give people a reason for going to Highbury (Aka Arsenal Stadium, aka the Emirates Stadium)!
Hmm, as long as it’s not the Emetic Stadium… that would make me sick
It’s forbidden to use this toilet for #2. (Translating ‘Large’ to #2, otherwise literal – probably the most understandable to foreigners)
It’s forbidden to use this toilet for large business! (Closest to the original, but may not be understandable to everyone, as ‘Large’ isn’t generally used for poop, but probably most people will get it)
I. e. , you can’t close that big deal standing in front of the urinal? And why not?
I say it again – it looks like a tour bus, and in my experience, the drivers/tour guides always discourage use of the on board toilet for solids. They have to empty it at appropriate stops, and they prefer only to handle liquids. They hope you can hold your solids until the next stop!
Our last tour guide, on a Western States tour – Grand Canyon, etc, used to say there will be a “dewatering stop” in half an hour, whatever.
Makes sense to me. In my experience, I would never want to poop in one of these anyway… they’re generally not up to my sanitary standards of wanting to touch anything in the room.
Trains, buses, similar problem:
It’s even funnier if you’re familiar with the already-hilarious work of Flanders & Swann (whom these two are parodying brilliantly).
That’s a winner! I must have missed that episode.
OMG, funny… but not so funny… the closest I’ve ever come to dying from a disease was contracted from the raw sewage running across the floor of a third class train in Mexico. Ohohoh, even after I was on my feet again I had the runs for months…it made for interesting times while traveling.
Dose this mean I can’t use this if I ate chinese?
this is freakin awesome