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why not?
It may grab your privates
In soviet Russ-
*grabbed by octopus*
How did it feel?
*Helps KinkyTom but instead mistakenly flashed the toilet*
Hey, enough with the bright lights, I’m trying to sleep down here!
‘Fun Fact’
When you go to sleep, you can’t see. The optical and logic side of your brain shuts down. So no bright lights are going to wake you up if your asleep.
I’m a toilet shark – I don’t “sleep” the same way that humans do, my brain just kind of goes into a sort of shut-down mode, and I just circle the bowl very slowly. This is an evolutionary trait developed by toilet sharks, in case someone gets a bad case of the food guilts in the middle of the night and decides to empty that entire tub of triple-choc ice-cream they bought on the way home from work into the loo – I can instantly be “awake” again to scavenge the ice cream.
*looks for the nearest octopus*
[quote="jinxed"]‘Fun Fact’
When you go to sleep, you can’t see. The optical and logic side of your brain shuts down. So no bright lights are going to wake you up if your asleep.[/quote]
If I fall asleep with my eyes open, any moving objects from reality actually within my vision field just interweave into my dreamworld version of anything not moving.
Real world objects have a slight blended motion and temporal skipping effect along with their perceived spacial versus temporal skew being approximately two thirds less rate of motion than that of anything of-which is fabricated within my dream state.
I have a hunch that the nature of the temporal skipping involved is simply due to the skew between real world and dreamworld becoming too great.
My asleep what?
The logic part shuts down… That explains my dreams.
You don’t need tentacles around your testicles.
Says you.
Unless you are an informed, consenting, of-age octopus who is with a similarly qualified partner, in which case what a pair of intimately acquainted octopi get up to in their private lives is really not anyone else’s business.
This reminds me of a story my mother once told me. She was in her local library, and she heard a small boy ask:
‘Mummy, where does the octopus keep his testicles?’
The boy’s mother corrected him, saying:
‘You mean TENTACLES. The testicles are the two balls on either side of your penis’.
LOL!
in general or by some particular reason?
Because the octopus believes in corporal punnishment.
What if he’s only achieved the rank of private? No punishment?
Only for major infringements.
It’s simple-you’d be playing a losing game. You’d flash one thing at him, and then he’s got 8 tentacles, all of which are likely to be bigger than your appendage. So unless you’re John Octo-Holmes, keep it zipped!
a favourite of mine.
Heheh…..he said “wood”.
Happy New Year guys and gals!
w.e That is saying is so last last year.
w.e That is saying is so last year.*
Welcome back!
Thanks; it was an extended break, and further extended by the wrong type of snow! (the brown sort that sticks to your car, but doesn’t stick tyres to the road).
Glad you’re back, I hope the car is ok!
Car and I both fine; I realised I couldn’t drive 40 miles over that stuff, so didn’t try!
Welcome back!
We missed you. Since you’ve been gone for a long time, you have some catching up to do. We hope that after such break, you’re coming back funnier than ever.
Ohai!
i’m quite sure where it is, i believe it’s the aquarium in bergen, norway
Dang! I was just going to send this pic in too……
This is from the Monterey Bay Aquarium in Monterey, California. This picture has been posted several times on this site; I guess it never gets old. This is an attempt by the aquarium to be funny but also attention-getting, so people realize that a camera flash will hurt the octopus. They aquarium similarly restricts flash cameras when there is a white shark on display. Anyway, the next time you are at an aquarium, please remember to deactivate your flash when snapping the octopus!
By the way, the aquarium is incredible and I recommend it to anyone who loves sea life (PS I don’t work at the aquarium, but I am a frequent visitor and fan)
Seconded.
Oh, and Star Trek IV
i spent so much time as a kid trying to find where that damned whale was kept..
I said something to one of the people that had the flash on, and she flipped out on me! She started SCREAMING about how this is a free country, and how she was my elder, and about how it wasn’t my place to say anything, and how my parents should control how I talk to people…..blah blah blah……yell yell yell……..until one of the employees came over and told her to leave me alone, and how she MUST keep the flash OFF when taking pictures of the octopus.
Should have distracted her by talking about Obama until security could get there.
Good job. I guess that’s a citizen WIN for you.
That lady was a jerk!
Ladies are worst kind of jerks…
Are you a jer-um…I mean….uh…….lady?
I can’t punch worst jerks, so what does it make me then?
I hate it when adults look down on teenagers.
Their website has some great live cams, too. I love the penguin cam.
Our avatars look similar. Just saying.
If you do, tentacle rape is imminent.
You know, this is really only going to encourage me…
So you’re saying you’re encouragable?
I guess it would smell like fish……
I’m sure it will.
WILL? IS THERE ONE NOW?
Whenever one gets invented, IT WILL have a fishy smell.
There is this great word used for hypothetical situations….its called WOULD.
Can it get it?
The hypothetical situation is if one gets invented.
And if one gets invented I said IT WILL have a fishy smell. It won’t hypothetically have a fishy smell, but it WILL definitely have one.
…but you should expose yourself to art.
Who’s Art?
No, no, not a person. Art as in painting, sculpture, poetry, music, culture….
If you want to appreciate it in…ummm…so unique ways, I guess that would be your own creative expression.
I’d rather not flash my art class, especially since we *just happen too* meet in a aquarium next time…
You may well “just happen,” but who else does, too?
DR OCTACANAPUS!!!!!!!!!!! BLAAAAAAA!!!!
The octopus is such a prude!
is it me or does it look like there is a penis in the tank
First thing that came to my mind was “don’t program the octopus”. Such a nerd I am…
Don’t mess with its bits!
Or possibly “don’t reprogram the octopus”? It’s quite happy running Squid v1.1.1!
Aquarium WIN!
i have actually been here. its in either san fransico san diego or pheonix aquariums. i went to all three over summer
and the penis thing is a piece of fake coral
i just teh monteray aquarium post. i forgot i went there when i went to san fran and san diego
haha i saw that and my friend was like, chloe read the sign!!!!!!
Please people, don’t make fun of this earnest sign. This is obviously an attempt to put an end to the dreaded Tentacle Rape! This hardworking sign is just trying to remove temptations for the poor octopus. The poor thing probably came from Japan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
XD
This is from the Galveston Aquarium in Galveston Texas USA.
This is at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I have a picture next to it pretending to flash the octopus lol