Authorized monkey changer
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Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Great! I’d like to swap my Capuchin for a Marmoset.
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Authorized Monkey Charger.
I could get a battery of jokes out of that *groans*
I don’t want my monkey changed!
In Soviet Russia Monkey changes YOU!
if your under 3 years old, if not your most likely to be changing me monkey, unless hes been toilet trained, which would be epic
I want to change mine for one that doesn’t leap out of my closet and point at me.
Chris, get off the internet!
Leave Monkey alooooooooooooooooooooone!
FYI, they did that on purpose. Joger is a company based in Bali that sells funny T-shirts, mostly on the play on words.
*Finally* someone who actually knows the story behind the sign. They have hilarious shirts.
I’ve gotta check that place out.
GO BALI!
Y’know, if we changed our monkeys more often, we wouldn’t have to spank them as much.
I’d like to change my JohnB for something a little more intelligent.
Scenario = You bring JohnB to the store, but he is so intelligent he binds you in ropes and tapes ur mouth. He then picks you up and brings you into the store to exchange for someone nicer.
Scenario ended. Jokes jinxed
.
haha, but I put him in a cage first……
…Then you realize that by caging JohnB, you are also caging yourself, and that you are inseparable from your actions. With this remorseful realization; you release him with a sincere apology, an ice cream, and the contents of your wallet. You drive home with the resolve to never, ever to cage or in any way mistreat in any way your fellow occupants of the universe. You now hold the conviction that the only possible path for you is to do good in the world.
You are delighted to find that with this new sense of inner illumination, you no longer require a flashlight to find your way to the outhouse at night.
Sooo, he is Amish?
what bluejade said is Deeeeep….
It is, I got it.
What I also got was a funny mental image from when I met some Amish people and had to use their bathroom. The old order Amish do not have indoor plumbing.
The food is amazing though.
I don’t think we have Amish communities Down Here. Do they have the “long drop” toilets?
You could call them that. Not a common feature in merkin society anymore.
I bet somewhere, there is an Amish or Mennonite community. They get around, and turn up in surprising places.
One morning the road I take into work was blocked because a house was on fire and the street was filled with fire engines, etc. I went the only alternate route I knew, a rather long way around, and discovered that a small town in this county is a haven for Mennonites. I don’t know what their toilets are like, but the boys all seem to ride bicycles to school. How they keep their straw hats on while doing so is a mystery to me. I was also confused by the fact that they clearly do not drive cars, using horse-drawn buggies, but they do use very modern motorized tractors. In fact I saw one rather odd rig that had a large tractor towing what appeared to be the bed of a ’70s-era pickup truck. I’ve sen them in our local Wal-Mart, and when they leave they ride with what appear to be non-Mennonite folks driving vans and such. So their rules seem to be rather different than the Amish, whom I’ve seen other places, and who never seem to utilize any technology newer than the 19th century.
“long drop” toilets?-that is funny, and accurate.
At the time I wish I had asked why the one I used had two seats. Side by side.
“Long drop” was the usual term for them Down Here. I haven’t seen one in years, but I still remember the smell! And throwing a fruit tin of lime down instead of flushing.
The 2 seats are for the obvious reason, so 2 ppl can go at the same time. They were called 2-holers here. I heard of a 6-holer, but I’ve never seen one.
I don’t even feel comfortable when I am in the bathroom and my kids are outside the door banging on it. How would I ever go with someone alongside doing their business?
What were the 6-holer builder’s thinking? Bringing the family together no matter what?
Why won’t kids leave you alone when you need to use the toilet??? WHY?? Someday, I’ll get even.
Maybe it’s -the family that goes together stays…
nah forget it.
I would not have been any good as an ancient Roman – their public toilets were seriously public, i.e. rows of holes side by side, and very close together; using the loo was supposed to be a social activity. I would’ve hung on until I exploded.
I did some jail time in my social activism days, and that was one of the biggest bummers about being in jail, other the the fact I couldn’t leave. The bathroom was a huge row of toilets, no stalls, and cameras. Not a place for a Shy Person.
My favourite toilet story was told by Billy Connolly. In the shipyards where he worked, the facilities were constructed as a row of holes in a long bench, with an open drain of continuously flowing water just below. There were partitions between the seats.
On occasions when most or all seats were occupied, some clown at the upstream end would put some newspaper in the drain and set fire to it. Extreme prairie-dogging followed!
One advantage of the 6-holer: Tell each other scary stories, saves on laxatives.
Is Billy Connolly a comedian? If so, I’ve got to check him out. The human capacities for practical jokes is endless…
Actually, some of the hardest I’ve ever laughed was in jail. We worked at keeping each other entertained, and we were all there for the same reason. The talent shows were GREAT!!
Billy is a Glasgow-born comedian-turned-actor. I think he lives in the Yousay now. He’ll be on the Internet Movie Database (Google it). He made a lot of very funny LP records, CDs, and probably videos as well. He doesn’t tell many jokes, just very funny stories. Try his later stuff if you can find it, because his accent was a bit thick in the early days.
Screw that. I’m going to rob somebody and buy some ice cream.
You got it! Why learn a lesson and grow spiritually, when you can do something stupid and ruin your life for a bit of momentary gratification instead?
JohnB, we’re talking ice cream here. And with a metabolism like mine, the ice cream will be with me forever.
I’m sorry, Your Holiness. I must ashamedly admit I am ignorant of the eternal properties of ice cream. Especially since it somehow disappears from my freezer every few days.
My, you back-track nicely!
Who am I to argue with the Dalai Lama?
I’ll debate that I am not ruining my life, a million dollars CAN be made to last my entire lifetime…..
And the monkey changer is named Humor Gaya Joger.
I always humor Gaya Joger. Don’t want to piss them off!
It means Humor Joger-Style.
Joger is a place.
Thanks for the advice!
After all who knows what he may do to my monkey while it is being changed.
If you bought Popo the monkey, this is the place to change him.
Some people go to just anyone for the changing of their monky, but this is an Authorized Monkey Changer.
It’s better than going on Ebay or Craiglist imo
Good point! You get what you pay for. I went to an Authorized Monkey Changer to get mine just the way I want it, and it has been worth every penny!
Definitely – if you go to a non-authorised monkey changer, you can end up voiding the warranty on your monkey.
And a warranty that’s been voided on by a monkey is a mess! Or do you mean the person with the monkey voids on the warranty?
Yes, when I bring in a monkey I would rather not get monky in exchange.
Sometimes e’s dissapear from people’s posts. Who knows where they end up.
Found ite!
Thank you. I will now add it to my mail.
There: e-mail
I like the monkey I have, but it needs a repair. I wonder if the monkey changer does retail?
Heh!
uh, it IS a store of “jokes” in Bali -_- that store *thinks* they’re so funny, but they’re NOT. haha -_________-
The Engrish from this store is not a mistake. Their store is very famous for the weirdest sentences that are printed pretty much on all of their merchandise. Sorry to be the party pooper, but almost everyone who visits Bali don’t leave without a souvenir or 2 from Joger, the store.
Stop trying to imitate me unless you want your monkey changed.
Good afternoon, I would like to have my monkey changed please – I would like him converted into one that doesn’t hurl dung, or constantly wave its bright red bottom at me. Maybe you could do something about its fur, too, and perhaps stop it shrieking and trying to tear the faces of any visitors. Toilet training would be good. Yeah, in general, can you just pimp my monkey? Ta.
I don’t think you want a monkey, would you be interested in purchasing a robot instead?
What about a goldfish? Yeah, a goldfish might be easier to clean up after. Also, will probably be much less likely to try to tear the faces off visitors.
Would the goldfish be safe with your cat around the house?
NOM NOM NOM!
So you are still a cat?
Also, I was wondering what the avatar you are using now is? No matter what settings I use, all I see is a blackish square with just a little grayish-white shading near the upper left corner.
Alienware head symbol. And I didn’t eat the fishy, I was pretending to be the cat that ate it.
I always lose my goldfish to raccoons.
If you think about it, your not being a cat anymore is going to make some of the earlier posts look really weird. Avatars change all the way back down the line, in case you hadn’t noticed.
I wonder why your cat avatar is still showing up in the e-mails?
I wonder what the monkey change rate is for Spider Monkeys to Grey Langurs. I would remind people to always count their monkeys when they have been changed! I think I was gypped!
Hello?? Mr. Monkey Changer? Could you please tell me which monkey has the best glands for sauce? Yes… yes… OK Thank you and have a good day!
This seems very obvious to me. Before you toilet train your monkey, of course it must wear diapers. Changing a baby’s diapers is gross enough, but a monkey’s? It’s good to know there are people who are authorized to provide this valuable service.
they did that on purpose.. find them on bali – Indonesia, they have hilarious shirt
They have ONE hilarious shirt?
I wonder how they stay in business.
Maybe the Almighty Garden Filter took his s. It would be handy for hanging up the garden hose.
It is true that the Almighty Garden Filter giveth and taketh away. However, in today’s world you can lose your shirt, or even lose your s, rather easily, without My intervention.
You speak the truth, (occasionally) Almighty Garden Filter!
Truth is a rare and precious thing, not to be wasted. Ask any executive or politician.
I don’t think they are being sparing with truth to hoard it; I think just burns too much when they get near it.
That was done on purpose. @_@
This is Malay.
I’m pretty sure it’s Indonesian. Last time I checked there was no Bali in Malaysia.
Maybe it was waylaid to Malaysia.
That’s good. There are too many unlicensed monkey changers out there trying to rip you off.
When your monkey needs changing, make sure the monkey changer is authorised.
Everybody’s got something to change, ‘cept for me and my monkey.
I COULD make a comment here about monkey junk but since there was a picture on “picture is unrelated”…
“The experience was long and exhausting, but he emerged from it a changed monkey.”
After a long and exhausting experience, I sure hope he took a shower, too! A mere change of clothes would not suffice.
The “Monkey” word is actually intended. The Joger is a company who makes funny words mix together.
Who needs a company when we get that here for free?!
So Joger is a monkey junky *facepalms, then slinks away in shame*
Hey, i know this one.. It’s in Bali, Indonesia.. And this shop is intended to be funny, they sell shirts and stuffs with twisted words, so they do it on purpose…
Yeah, it is.
have u been there?
I have this vision of Jesus driving the monkey changers out of the Temple in Jerusalem. “My Father’s house was meant to be a house of prayer, but you have made it a den of apes!” Okay, maybe not apes. Monkeys and apes are different things, I guess.
A den of inapequity? Apes without equity… hmmm could be an ex stock broker.
Wouldn’t this be temporary accomodation for homeless bees?
I clearly see Charlton Heston playing the lead, and adding, as he threw them out, “And get your stinking hands off me, you d@mned dirty apes!”
i just can’t wait 2 see u guys in bali, my hometown!!
it’s in indonesia…. 2 be sure… 100% indonesia
there’s no “jalan raya Denpasar-bedugul, desa luwus, kilometer 37″ in malaysia
Yeeeeah no we’re talking!
mantabs!!
ooops i mean “now”
i hope no one screenshot and post it here.
it is on purpose, the small letters under reads “Joger version humor”
that’s on purpose, if you see real close there’s a word “Joger version humor”. But near that place there’re really a money changer though
Hey, it’s a clothing company in bali. i live there.
it’s meant to be like that. so any tourists seeing will LOL.
just like the ones seeing it on the net.
you are stupid
We can swap out the US president here?
that’s on purpose, Joger T-shirts like to make fun of Engrish just as much as we do. Oh and they also like to make fun of tourists buying their T-shirts without knowing what it means.
Hey, they did that on purpose. Joger is a company based in Bali that sells funny T Shirt, and ..yeah they always twisted words at their products (t-shirt, etc).
Btw, If u go to Bali (INDONESIA) , You have to come to this SHOP!!