You know it, you love it .. the engrish smorgasbord!
Form dollar If Hoof
Far, er grass cjoclem
Tje dry vegetables of plum burns the meat
River shrimp
The temple esplodes the chicken cube
The stem slices the beef
Fresh fried shelled shrimp
A meat If the sugar vinegar
Tomato scrambled egg
Shuimianjing wraps the meat
Green vegetables black mushrooms
Stuff eggplant ofoil
Green pepper soil been silk
The salty vegetaples fries the hot pepper
Domestic life bean curd
Spring onion oil cucumber
Fried rice with egg
Noodles
Steam the white f
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
Add this to your blog:
(Copy & paste code)
You May Like:
zomg theres no right meal for me
C’mon, man, how can you go wrong with “noodles”?
But I once tried to do yoga in a basement room infested with silverfish, so I’d advise against the scrambled egg there on the bottom.
“The Temple Asplodes the Chicken Cube” sounds pretty interesting Ill Chai that.
I’m sure we’ve seen that dish in an earlier post. It must be popular.
The first thing that comes to mind is “IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET”
Fun fact! Silverfish with Scrambled Eggs is the name of an album. Crazy world.
You’ve never had my fathers version of noodles, otherwise you would know how to go wrong with them.
Stuffy? Can that really be ye, sonny? Stuffy Eggplant O’Foil! Well, top o’ the mornin’ to ye!
Yes, I think I got hold of some of that stuff back in the ’70s, that uh, er, far… far, er grass cjoclem. And cjoclem it did!
“The temple esplodes the chicken cube” is my favorite. Tastes like victory.
Esplodes my head, that’s what it does, especially since I would swear I’ve seen this on a menu before. They must have much more lively worship services in the East than I’m used to! Maybe I should check out the Pentecostals, I bet they’ve been known to explode a chicken cube or two on a Sunday…
Believe it or not, I found a recipe online for this dish! I SWEAR I am not making this up, but it is clearly a dish that only someone very fluent in Engrish could possibly prepare:
The Temple Explodes the Chicken Cube, use chicken’s primitive Sichuan edition takes its essential component. In this tunnel original, the dice chicken typically is mixed with pre-prepared thick gravy. The iron saucepan is experienced and then chiles and the Sichuan dry pepper is the flash fries in oil the increase fragrantly to come the oil. Then the chicken is mixes fries in oil and the vegetable, with peanut together, increase. The shaoxing wine with enhances the flavor in the thick gravy. Fresh, moist, the unroasted peanut or cashew nuts after commonly used replace their front to roast the edition. In such situation, the peanut or the cashew first throws down into the hot oil in the iron saucepan base, then is fried in oil until golden yellow brown in front of other ingredients increases.
In Sichuan, or works as preparation tunnel, only Sichuan style chilis for example Is used. Smaller, the thinner Sichuanese variety and is perhaps used. The plate most important component is the Sichuan dry pepper few. This is for tunnel these dry pepper its specially numb flavor. To Or the warm numb flavor, is a typical element which Sichuan cooks. The Sichuan dry pepper, with red chilis together, is key component.
Kung pao chicken. After seeing “the temple explodes the chicken cube” a few times, I looked up the recipe. The original Sichuan version (which people in a neighboring province insist is not the original at all) is rather as described above (the thick gravy is one variant). The combination of hot pepper and Sichuan pepper is considered key. Purists say diced chicken leg meat is best and that breast meat is all wrong.
So then I take it that “kung pao” literally means “the temple explodes”? And why would that come to be the name for a chicken dish? (I’ve had it many times, and never once saw an exploding temple.)
Did you have a window seat?
Perhaps you were looking in the wong direction.
Ahhh!!
Wrong!!
Dreadful Pun Hell fairy will forgive you on this occasion as it seems to have been a Freudian slip.
Where, oh where did you find this recipe? If it is original to you — despite your protestation — you have a magical gift. Increase fragrantly to come the oil, big boy.
That restaurant must look like a mad house i mean you got vegetables cooking other vegetables,chicken cubes exploding, and rivers of shrimp.
WHO’S IN CHARGE HERE? D:.<
that and you have to steam your own white fish. I kind of expect my meal to be prepared before it gets to me.
Believe me, when they hand you a raw fish, you’ll be plenty steamed!
If I go with Steve, can I eat him after he is steamed? I always did like Steve flavored chops.
according to cannibals, I probably taste a bit like pork, which is awesome in it’s own way.
steve flavored bacon!
You know a lot of cannibals?
maaaaaaybe.
Then either you like to live dangerously, or you don’t taste very good.
Maybe a relative of his is a zombie.
A Zombie? As in Rod Argent or Rob?
Rob, more or less
Maybe the canibals are jewish. Those are the guys who don’t eat pork, right?
Well, they have to also put kosher salt on their meat before they cook it, which makes it kind of unlikely that his relatives/cannibals are jewish.
Eating pork is forbidden under both Jewish and Muslim dietary restrictions. For a Hindu, eating any meat is sinful.
I’m staying with Hindu’s during the next zombie invasion.
Just leave room for the cows.
I thought it was the buddhis… I mean. =) Nothing. Hindus are vegetarians and nothing to worry about in 2012 right? XD
It’s a menu for disaster.
I think I see å¹² in there at least twice. I’m amazed that nothing f*cks anything on this menu.
^Are you trying to jinx something?
(Other comment is being moderated, so click my name)
Mentioning *that* couldn’t jinx anything on this site. It’s one of the more common Engrish examples, so it’s bound to happen eventually.
This post is an anomaly, because it didn’t happen!
aw f*ck
It steams the white f or the temple esplodes the chicken cube again.
I like how they announce who the meat wrapper is.
No, they printed it. I doubt any two of us would announce that name the same way! I can’t even say it the same way twice. In fact, I think I’ve sprained my tongue…
It wouldn’t surprise me if sprained tongue were one of the dishes on this menu.
She sells seashells by the seashore.
Order up!
I was having enough trouble with Fresh fried shelled shrimp.
… but can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager, managing an imaginary menagerie?
I’m not sure I really want to know about the domestic life of bean curd, TMI.
Frankly, I’d chance that rather than knowing why the spring onion is oiling up that cucumber…
…reasons……..
Can’t a man even order a piece of meat without having their sugar replaced by vinegar!?
They just want you to catch fewer flies.
It’s great that the menu tells you the recipe for burnt meat.
“Dry vegetables of plum burns the meat”
I always burn meat in a different way, which includes heat. But I guess everyone cooks differently.
They’re doing it here to properly flavor the biscuits, of course! So if you’re not making burned meat flavor biscuits, you don’t need tje dry vegetables of plum.
Isn’t a dried plum a prune?
I think I’m having a brainwreck here. Too many comments thought of at once and all crashing into each other. *spark spark sizzle*
I live for this.
I can’t help wondering about that word the transcriber put down as “If,” as in, “Form dollar If hoof.” It looks like “lf” to me, which I take to mean that we have now effectively abridged the Meaning of Liff. It’s now the Meaning of lf.
The meaning of life can be a matter of “if’s”.
Of course, the “ifs” can depend on what your definition of “is” is.
IF only someone can tell me what that really IS…
It IS what it IS.
But what IS IS?!
Ah, I see IT IS really true.
IS IT?
In?
No in and outing!
IS IS IT REALLY IT? OR IS IT?!
Indeed IT IS.
Though I must say that there are times when I am doubtful.
There are never times when I am not doubtful.
You must have drunk from the Fountain of Doubt (Oglaf Comics FTW)
THIS IS IT!
Then what’s THAT?
That is not It.
Darn, I want to quote Dylan’s “Ballad of a Thin Man” again…
Well,
How does it feel to be such a freak?
*hands JohnB a bone*
Impossible!
Something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is.
Do you Mr B?
I don’t know what’s happening there. I do know what’s happening here.
I was expecting someone to make a michael jackson pun here.
I thought about it.
This may actually be a poorly translated classified Chinese document. “Green pepper soil been silk.” I’ve grown peppers for years, but I never thought to plant them in silk! Now I know why my pepper steak never turns out like what I get in Chinese restaurants! This spring, by God, I’m going to lay in a quarter acre of silk…
I laid in a king sized bed of silk once.
What did you lay?
He and JohnB were talking about exploding temples and chickens earlier, so I rather doubt it would be eggs.
OK, who did you lay?
We don’t know yet – we have to wait for the eggs to hatch, and see who pops out.
I can hardly wait to see what will hatch. I wonder if the parents will tell us?
MMMMMMMMM!!! The stem slices the beef! I can’t say no to that!
*Anyone know where this place is?
The Place of Very Sharp Stems.
A place where stem is part of the new cutting edge technology.
I don’t want new cutting edge technology, I like it rough around the edges.
It’s better than getting something bland.
Unless its a burnedmeat biscuit. yummy
The stem slices the beef, the stem slices the beef, hi-ho the derrio, the stem slices the beef…
(Sorry, kindergarten teacher, couldn’t resist…)
Sadly I had that song stuck in my head a few days ago. I blame you.
And let us never forget curry horseshoe crap with pineapple. Any place that doesn’t have that has to be second rate.
You can’t please all the people all the time. They do have er grass cjoclem; how often can you find that on a menu? And the silverfish scrambled egg is made with local ingredients.
Give my regards to Shuimianjing. That meat was wrapped really nicely.
the babelfish is off the menu–have a pleasant meal
Where the hell do you start with this one? The stem slices the beef, the plum burns the meat, the salty vegetaples fries the hot pepper, then in the middle of it all the temple esplodes the chicken cube. It’s utter bedlam in that kitchen, I tell you, the food has turned on itself!
I’m not that hungry any more. I’ll just have the word salad. With silk dressing.
ā¬Steam the whitefish with black mushrooms near the station.
If Hoof country, no gold pavements, tired starlings.
Silver fish scrambled eggs, oil cucumber.
Dawnlight smiles on your noodles, my contentment.ā¬
Served with Cream.
(Refrain)
A meat if sugar vinegar river shrimp
The stem slices beef as the temple esplodes chicken
Is that what happens behind the restaurant?
“Green Vegetables Black Mashrooms and Smoking Barrels”
That was a Korean spaghetti Western, wasn’t it, with Clint Eastwood and Jamie Farr?
It’s settled. Next time I go out, I’m asking for the cjoclem.
This menu doesn’t sound very appetizing to me for some strange reason
If something doesn’t taste good enough after frying, shell it with 155mm artillery!
And now an update on the war on peppers,
The salty vegetaples fries the hot pepper.
Most delicious of eating food!
Ordering of “Far, er grass cjoclem” I must be!
Most hilarity of the text!
can’t belive they didnt list the silverfish and scrambled eggs at the bottom
hmmm, noodles scrambled silverfish combination does it like! eat go!
This has been taken OUT OF CONTEXT!
This is actually a list of Muay Thai moves and the years it takes to master them.
I have personally been working on ‘The stem slices the beef’ for almost a decade now.
-looks at the menu- I think…. a cold water will be nice sir…. “Food?, no sir, your fine selections of foods in the menu are really….. disturbing…. no thanks… only coldwater for me..”.
Do you have cheeken on a steeck?