Please drive slowly
Grapes are sleeping
Resting up for their complicated journey
Love strange signs? Check out Oddly Specific!
Submitted by: MixMasterMadge via Engrish Funny Submissions
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I can hear thousands of itty bitty snores
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is wine making THAT complicated?
Have you ever talked to a vintner? Yes, it really is that complicated. Mind you, I suspect that if all you want is alcoholic bombo and you don’t care much what it actually tastes like, the process is far simpler.
dormancy and viticulture: reduce the dust in the must? Quick, find the oenologist.
“Less Dust in the Must” – can I paint that on the side of the vat? Unfortunately, the oenologist is not available – he’s feeding the oens, and the young ones being weaned are being a bit sooky and attention-seeking.
Weaned? I thought the whole idea was to introduce them to the bottle!
This IS in English, err, Engrish. Wonder where the vineyard is exactly to worry so about their sleep regimen? Next to a coffee plantation or a meth lab?
I doubt the sign is a joke. I live in a wine producing area and people here take it very, very seriously. My guess is they are trying to keep the dust down, and trying to be nice about it.
That would be my guess as well, since wine making is mostly about growing the grapes. Unlike beer brewing which is more about what happens after the ingredients are grown.
Uh-oh. I can see a lot of moderation for posts on this one, since as we know the g-word is a no no.
I tried it out, and yes it is being moderated.
Some people use gr@pes, while I usually go for graypes.
lol
Why not just G-Rap-E?
For the same reason I prefer graypes, which is that reaching for the top-row keys is a pain.
Gray apes?
No gay apes allowed!
I don’t even see why the consensual secks lives of adult humans is any of my business. And since apes are far stronger than humans, I’m even less likely to argue with them.
Call the Animal control! Gay apes wanting to g-r@pe people are on the loose! /me runs
I suspect that apes are far choosier than that. “Are you serious? I mean, really? Why would anyone want to do It with one of those pink hairless ones? What disease do they have that makes their fur fall out? What would happen if you caught it? All your fur might fall out! Then you’ll never make silverback if you don’t have any fur to turn silver, you dope. I’m telling you, Earl, it’s a bad idea. I don’t care what Carlos dared you to do, dude, I’m telling you that chasing after one of those things and trying to jump its bones is A REALLY BAD IDEA.”
Nice scene!
But what if she was queen of the gorillas in a previous life?
What if she was a queen bee in a previous life? She wouldn’t be picky, and dr. handle’s argument would be thrown out the window.
u r as grumpy as QueenOfTheWorld!
We put the r@pe in gr@pe!
Not me. I don’t like the way they wine.
Anatomically, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a way to r@pe a gr@pe anyway.
Unless your dr handle, of course.
*zing!*
Hey! I’ll have you know I am NOT that sort of woman! I would NEVER force myself onto an unwilling gr@pe! No, if it’s violation of greengoods, then I’m all up for molesting avocadoes. They’re dirty, smutty, lecherous items, so they are – and everybody knows that if an avocado says “No”, it really means “yes”.
All that lovely white, creamy flesh…..
Gad. I hope you have access to ripe cherimoyas… good times!
Are they the fruit also known as custard apples? YUM! They are expensive here, and a bit risky. I can’t easily tell from the outside if they’re good inside.
I don’t know. They give slightly to pressure when ripe, are very sweet and soft. Zapotes are also good. They are very expensive here, too. I developed a taste for them when I had a free source.
And here just a few pages later, the spring onion is oiling up the cucumber, so we know spring onions are also not to be trusted.
If I ever catch them ravishing the radishes…. Grrrr!
Merry (late) Christmas everybody!
And to you also! Do you like your new Alien thingie? Sorry, not a gamer, I can’t remember names of things.
IT IS AWESOME!
I also got an iTouch with the money from Christmas. It is black!
Meh…blackish silver…
Cute? Yes. Funny? Of course. On purpose? Most likely. Engrish? Absolutely not.
True? Possibly. Do we care? Absolutely not.
It just doesn’t belong here. Should be on cutesigns.com or something.
I don’t know whether to sigh or growl. What doesn’t belong here is people getting all legalistic when everybody else is trying to have fun. This is not the International Committee for the Proper Definition of Engrish. This is a humor site. Say something funny. I dare you.
It’s just a cute way of saying to keep the dust down. Dust increases harmful parisites, so dusty grapes cost money. Definitely not engrish.
But your comment is! “Parisites.” Does that refer to people from Paris, or web sites for Francophiles? (See, SS, that word does come in handy!)
Is a Francofile the tool they used to take the sharp bits off that famous Paris sight, the Eiffel Tower?
Yes. And after more than a century, that tower is still an eyefull.
Does this mean that when the gr@pes are awake, we can drive over the speed limit?
So long as the police aren’t around to see you g-r@ping the speed limit.
g-r@pe sounds harsh. Let’s just say, as long as I don’t get caught VIOLATING the law, I am ok.
In some cases g-r@pe and violating are the same thing.
That’s why I prefer to use one vs the other.
I’m sorry, but even in today’s permissive atmosphere, I can’t see a r@pe scene getting a G rating.
Yeah, there’s not one that you would want to watch with the family.
Actually, the studios try to avoid G ratings if at all possible, since they think that only little kids would want to see flicks with G ratings. So if it looks like it’s headed for a G, they’ll throw in a couple of profanities to bring it up to a PG, at least.
then I’ve also seen one with a very pron type scene that was PG-13 @.@
…..are you over 13 little mister?
Well, to legally watch pron you must be over older than 18, and he knows what pron is, so hopefully he is…..
I DO NOT WATCH PRON! I just know what it is.
Wait till you’re old enough, and you’ll see that you don’t know the half of it! I’m more than old enough, and I’ve seen things on p0rn sites I didn’t really need to know about.
Add 10
subtract 5
Divide by two.
Add 9.
Add 5 more and what do you get?
Bran is 23 years old!
How would you know o_O
Fun game ^o^
@la conejita: That was clever!
@jinxed: Read the thread again.
Jinxed, Bran happens to be my younger brother. I am 3 years older than him. No. I’m just kidding. He happened to mention his age a while back and I remembered it, just like I remember that John is 56, Droll is 59, Holly is 62 and Shadow is 14.
Hey, I got pulled over for just petting the speed limit a little above the waist!
Probably because she said, “We’re going a little too fast in this relationship.”
John,
Were you trying to get to first base?
WordPress just told me:
“You are posting comments too fast. Slow down.”
I guess everything has a speed limit.
It’s done that to me a time or two, which really annoyed me, because I thought I had worded something just perfectly, and when it does that, what you say disappears entirely.
Same here.
If you can hit “Esc” fast enough, it will stop that page from loading and if your lucky it won’t officially submit your comment. I suppose you should type gr-ape(minus the -) in every comment, then delete after you review your comment prior to submitting.
But on rare occasions, I do like to talk about something other than graypes, so I can’t see the need to include it in every comment.
Good for you!
I know someone who all he wanted to talk about were strawberries. Luckily, he’s stopped.
Uh-oh… The S-word again!
Don’t worry, grap|e is the new bad word on engrishfunny.com
Actually, I was on the cell phone with my wife, which was why I wasn’t watching my speed in this speed-trap of a town, so all the bases have been well covered, although they weren’t being covered at all at that moment!
Cover yourself, please.
Using a cell phone while driving is still legal there?
Wow. Just wow.
It is amazing. It an easy way to die, or kill someone.
How selfish of Mr. B! Bad JohnB! *squirts with water bottle*
Weren’t you a cat before *sprays SS with water*
ShadowSplicer: What is your new avatar? It looks like the head of a garden sprinkler. By moonlight.
Your cat avatar is still on the WordPress emails, though.
It looks more like an alien from my angle.
I kind of liked his cat avatar better. It went well with his personality.
But he isn’t a flaming troll anymore, so it won’t fit his not trolling attitude.
As I explained in the original statement, I normally use Bluetooth whenever I am in the car, but don’t at 6:30AM, since nobody ever calls me then. Since it went off, I thought it was an emergency and aswered it, which is not a terribly risky thing to do when one is driving down mostly empty country roads. It did, however, prevent me from setting the cruise control as I hit town as I normally do, since despite the fact that there is almost no traffic in this tiny town, there are two police officers with nothing much to do, so they write lots of tickets. And no, there is still no state law here prohibiting cell phone use while driving, although the legislature finally is getting around to banning texting while driving. Things move slowly here.
Except for your car, of course.
It wasn’t moving fast; it’s just that they drop the speed limit by 20 mph at some random point on the road and wait for people to not slow down fast enough. I gave up intentional speeding years ago. It’s too expensive!
You don’t have to explain. You can go now.
No, I have to go to “traffic school” now. Again. But I guarantee I will never answer my cell phone manually while driving again! I Bluetooth with voice commands even at 6:30AM now. I have finally reached a point in my life where I am teachable.
I read somewhere that statistically, the probability of accidents is almost the same with hands-free phoning as with a hand-set, and that the real problem was with split awareness. I cannot bring myself to talk on the phone and drive. The stakes are too high.
Is this where hands free texting may come into play
?
One study found that. I think it depends a lot on what conditions you drive in, and how you maintain attention. There are lots of possible distractions in the car–kids, food, music, conversations, etc., and I don’t think we can legislate them all away. For many years I operated mobile ham radio in the car, and still do occasionally, and there have been studies showing no relationship between that activity and safety. In fact, during many a long, late drive, which I used to do often, I think engaging in conversation has helped keep me alert. If I get into traffic or weather or anything of the sort, I’m not at all reluctant to end the conversation abruptly, be it on the air or on the phone.
As a policeman’s wife, I can attest that from time to time the law doesn’t mind being violated. Gives every appearance of enjoying it immensely, in fact.
But like all violations, the pleasure isn’t mutual, someone has to get screwed.
Oooohhhh!!! Pick me! Pick me!……….wait…no….uhhh…pick Bran! Pick Bran!
Being a policeman’s uncle, I can testify that one of the perks the police enjoy most is being able to violate the law with impunity. I used to do screening psychological evaluations for potential officers, and the best candidates usually came out looking a whole lot like the crooks I evaluated.
Huh, mine can’t even get offered proper bribes – the most lucrative offer anyone ever made him to get off being arrested was to supply him with fresh bread from a bread shop every day. I mean, really, a loaf of bread? Aren’t crims supposed to corrupt cops with money, drugs, illegal weaponry and loose women? A LOAF of BREAD? “You can’t even get bribed properly”, I said, “What sort of cop are you?” “Sorry”, he said, “Next time, I’ll hold out for croissants”. “And a lifetime supply of those little lattice pastry things with apple and custard in them”, I specified. No luck with that so far.
A police officer who takes bribes will eventually get his just desserts.
If your husband was a policeman in Mexico, he’d bee getting cash bribes everyday. It’s crazy, I think it’s seen almost like tipping a waiter.
But I want to wake them up!
Do you want them to be cranky all day? Do you? Do you? No, then let them sleep.
Sorry, I didn’t mean my comment to sound harsh. I have small kids.
Then if they’re all asleep, that’s a rare blessing!
It’s like frying vampire’s steak
Just try getting a stake through a frying vampire!
Then try stuffing the holes you made with garlic, for some irony.
Spinach would be more irony.
♫I’m Popeye the vampire man,
I’m not a big iron fan.
When I eats me spinach, me powers diminish.
I’m Popeye the vampire man.♫
I see what JohnB meant now.
But won’t that increase the strength of the flavor?
I know iron tablets have a strong, unpleasant taste, but I find the taste of fresh spinach rather mild, and I love it. My wife prefers it canned, though, which has a stronger flavor, although I don’t think it has anything to do with iron.
It’s non-haem iron, so you need to eat more of it (preferably with some vitamin C to facilitate uptake) than if you were getting the same amount of iron as haem iron (i.e. from red meat). I prefer to cover all bases, and do a nice stir-fry of beef with plenty of veggies.
I cover all bases by, basically, taking large amounts of almost every vitamin and supplement known to humankind. I am careful with the fat-soluble vitamins, though, since you can overdose on those. I still try to get nutrition into my food, but an almost purely carnivorous wife and a picky 10-year-old daughter who will eat almost no vegetables makes this difficult.
Sorry if mah fam drive by REALLY fast.
huh?