Recycling gone mad!!

Attention
Because I do not have a tissue always ready in this restroom, please by used one.
Only if they’re my prefered brand
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Buy a used tissue? I am into recycling and all that, but I do have limits.
You’re obviously not a grandma traveling with her perpetually runny-nosed grandchildren. After the clean tissues are gone, the purse is plundered for those tissues with only lipstick stains on them.
But you’re right about buying them…
I have a two year old and a four year old. So, no, not a grandma yet. Note to self: Once I become a grandma, carry new roll of toilet paper when traveling with the grandchildren.
As long as it isn’t USED toilet paper!
That’s why I said NEW roll of toilet paper.
Sometimes it’s not so easy to tell what’s new. In my collection of “Why the f*ck did they make THIS?” products, I have a twin-pack of toilet paper (still sealed) from a company that used to make it in many colours. Guess what colour it is.
I’m picturing something in a harsh brown…
If someone started making loo rolls with the faces of various politicians or irritating ‘celebrities’ printed on them, they would make a fortune. I could do all my Christmas shopping at once: get a couple of rolls of the Australian Prime Minister for my husband, a packet of Paris Hilton for my next door neighbour, and a Barbara Cartland for my father.
Would they have it in obama?
Would they have it in ShadowSplicer? What goes around, comes around. Literally, in this case.
You still haven’t rationally explained your issues with the guy.
Use words and data.
I don’t feel like ranting today. I have a BIG headache!………….and I will have a 24-pack TP in SS plz.
How’s the head thing going? Did you get an MRI rescheduled?
No. The doctor just decided that my blood pressure was too high, and *mumble mumble* about my blood vessels, and then he put me on atenelol.
(thanx for asking!)
Well, that certainly beats a brain tumor and/or brain surgery!
Don’t you mean ‘brick’ surgery?
Will exercise help? That certainly leveled out my bp many years ago. Kept me sane, too.
I exercise all the time! My fingers get great exercise while typing!
That’s a pretty accurate description. This stuff is not even close to beige.
Maybe they wanted the color to blend in.
Unless you eat beets/too many tomatoes/pepto bismol….
Pardon my gross question, but if the paper is the same color as what you’re wiping up, how can you tell if you’re through? I mean, few of us use long-handled dental mirrors or someone else’s opinion to find out if we’re all clear in the Netherlands, so if you were taught as I was, you just keep at it until the paper comes up white. And if it starts brown…
The obvious solution is to alter your diet enough to provide color contrast. There are plenty of FDA approved substances to facilitate this… those bright blue beverages come to mind.
To me, the obvious solution is NO BROWN TP!
Heheh…you said p. Heheh….now I said it!
TP for my bungh0le. Heh heh. TP for my bungh0le. Cornholio will even settle for brown. But not used, heh heh.
Pedestrian. How about an arrangement of lighted mirrors? It could be decorative as well as practical; LEDs for low energy use.
How about asking Captain Kirk? he was good at dealing with Klingons.
Oh, and the colour contrast problem is why I bought the brown TP as a joke, and never used it.
Gag me.
*gags blueJade*
Say what?
Did they run out of google?
Then just Bing it with a rock.
You could Bing it with a Crosby.
Stills ‘n Nash?
JohnB’s ref is not that Young.
They all blur together, Bing Crosby Stills ‘n Nash…
It’s Nash that forms the Bridges.
but… what if I get a crusty one? *shudders*
The crusty ones will scrape you clean. *shudders*
My comment is awaiting moderation so I don’t know if it will stay or not. It says:
The crusty ones will scr@pe you clean. *shudders*
Yes, any word that contains the letters R, A, P, E in sequence will get you moderated.
Really? That’s strange, when you consider that ANY character attached to an emoticon prevents the desired gif appearing.
I didn’t know there was an emoticon for r@pe.
This must be pretty close:
Wow, it won’t even let me say: s u p e r m e g a u l t r a g r a p e s !
Well that emoticon better not mean r@pe because my stalking troll, who is probably dead by now, directed that emoticon at me.
It doesn’t mean he did, but he might have wanted to.
It IS a hostile act.
That’s so true. I can joke about r@pe, but I would never condone it.
Your crusty ‘?’ is not as fine as you think!
Halp! Halp! The eyebleach and mindfloss aren’t working! Please, someone tell us what they meant to say!
I hate it when you find corny jokes on recycled paper.
And if someone has used the printed side- Oh, wait, is that good or bad? Or worse?
Depends on what they left on it.
What I think (and really, really hope) it meant to say is:
There is no toilet paper in the stalls. If you intend to use some, buy it first elsewhere.
No second-hand (or third-cheek) paper.
Isn’t that a tissue dispenser to the right of the sign?
Third-cheek paper? Mr Frampton, would you please take down your trousers?
I guess this is for all the people who ask, “May I borrow a tissue?” I always respond, “No, but I’d be glad to give you one. I DO NOT WANT it back!”
OMG’s – my mum was so ahead of the curve when I was a kid!
No.
Just no.
Other than using poison ivy leaves, I can’t think of anything that would be less appealing.
*hands D a google*
Let’s hope he doesn’t get too many hits in THAT area! OW!
Hahahah-…….wait…OW!
I would not pay for a used one! I wouldn’t even want it if it was free!
Of course you wouldn’t pay for free used paper.
I I said I wouldn’t want it even if it was free.
I I, sir?
The almighty garden filter has graced me with an extra I!
Well, then, if your Third Eye has opened, go with the Almighty Garden Filter, sir.
It is only half open…
It’s your first two that should be half open.
Oh?
Yes, your ordinary eyes should be half closed, half open, indicating you are still in this world but not fully of it. The Third Eye, however, should be opened to its fullest extent, permitting free flow of energy through the chakra.
Can do!
Well, maybe Mr. Sign Maker, you might want to make more of an effort to have those tissues ready.
krusty buggers no thanks, eeewwww jessz
I hope you mean “boogers”. What you actually wrote needs the extra-powerful mind- bleach!
……………..no……………………….just…no.
Take some friendly advice–go in the street.
It’s probably just the Ugly American in me, but why, if I’m paying 100 whatever currency that is to use the facility, can’t I count on a clean tissue? Seems like this toilet’s owner has a nice little scheme going: supply the WC and make the customer provide the wipers.
I think it is the American in you. Here, bathrooms are free to use everywhere and you expect that the facilities are clean and are stocked with rolls of toilet paper and paper napkins.
In Mexico, when you are downtown, there are places where you have to pay to use the toilet, the person will hand you 3-4 squares of toilet paper. People always carrry some extra toilet paper if they know they are going there. I am sure many other Countries have the same procedure like the one we see here.
Can I return it? Haven’t used it (much).
Only on one side.
I am trying very hard to imagine that these are tissues that have been used to wipe dust off a pair of glasses. That’s all. A very small speck of dust off a very clean pair of glasses. Yes, that must be it.
Either that, or used by the the Queen? (is that in Bad Taste?)
I would assume that the Queen would use the finest discretion in selecting the product to obviate any Royal Encrustation. I’m sure any God-fearing Englishman would be proud to follow in Her Majesty’s footsteps, er, ah, skid marks. (If blueJade wasn’t in bad taste, I just made sure I obliterated the line.)
Srsly, I don’t think any Englishman could “follow” Her Maj. She has her very own facilities provided when she travels.
We can dream, can’t we?
Ah, yes, and what a fine dream, to make intimate contact with the Queen’s left behind.
A former Prime Minister, Paul Keating, came closest to doing just that.
According to royal etiquette, one does NOT touch the Queen unless she initiates contact.
Ah yes, who could forget the British press going nuts with their “Lizard of Oz” headlines. To be fair, he did look like he’d have made a wonderful gropey pervert. Or possibly a dishonest undertaker. Mind you, I didn’t hear Betty Windsor complaining too loudly; maybe she didn’t mind, if that walking greek blooper is the only person who is “allowed” to touch her (and he probably has to salute her afterwards anyway).
Wait, are you saying she has a plumber following her around that whips out a facility whenever she has to go? Wow! You guys take good care of her…
The plumbers (and builders) always set up everything before she arrives. Don’t get me started on the dinner menus…..
And if she visits Australia, our taxes pay for it all. Ah, the privileges of royalty.
At least she doesn’t get you embroiled in expensive wars over oil… it’s cheaper to be followed around by a plumber and caterer.
No, she doesn’t. We have our Prime Minister to do that. Wouldn’t want to interrupt the plumbing and dining.
hee hee hee i would buy one.
We have a bridge we’d like to sell you.
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