Coffee pancake
Green apple pancake
Unusual private’s pancake
Pancale of QQ
Submitted by: Ben G via Engrish Funny Submissions
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I’ll have the apple, please.
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Maybe it’s a pancake made by Private Ryan.
Private Beetle Bailey is still on morning KP duty after 58 years.
If he were, they’d only be offering the usual private’s pancake.
::An odd-looking private, in full military fatigue, enters the room, a frying pan in hand::
::he pauses awkwardly, quite strange in his ways, and hands you a pancake with blueberries AND bananas baked into the warm, soft center::
Does the unusual private also offer the Aunt Jemima Treatment?
It is unusual to be in the army for 58 years and still a private.
I would think just being in the army 58 years is unusual!
Uhh, Professor, what are you doing posting up here?
*raises hand*
Sometimes I forget who I am.
Before I make a menu selection, I want to know what makes this private so unusual. Is he or she food-safe?
less QQ more caek!
no, more cake than QQ.
I’ll have a refreshing Pancale and the usual unusual.
Just what the deuce is a “QQ”?
I’m guessing that the “Unusual private’s pancake” is filled with Dave or Steve, and seasoned with whore dust!
Obviously it must be a dish made with a pan of cale.
Ah, phooey! Less QQ, more pew pew!
*ahem* the correct saying is “Less QQ, more pew pew, NOOB!”
Thank you.
My bad. *feels suitably ashamed*
That ashamed suit looks great! Where did you get it?
Just like everyone else, Pjotr got it from the Home Despot.
It’s not filled with entire Dave or Steve, just with their privates.
Please! That is a private matter!
Just hope it never meets up with any private antimatter!
That would be a major catastrophe.
Wait- Didn’t we do this thread already?
The general rule is to recycle.
Ahaha! What do the kanji say, for the private’s pancake?
I think the QQ is filled with Dave or Steve, indeed.
I don’t like balls or lumps in my pancakes. The coffee pancake does sound interesting though.
I agree! That would simplify my breakfast considerably.
I`ll have a coffee pancake, to go.
Maybe the Green apple pancake is covered in God Filet.
mmmm God filet.
Well, if you’re talking about God, make no bones about it.
When I have pancakes, I want people to keep their unusual privates to themselves. No flashing me and definitely no private parts in my pancakes.
That would just be wrong!
What about those whose privates are usual?
Then I would make an exception:
Flashing is allowed, but no privates in my pancakes!
I would think the usual privates would be the rule, not the exception. Exceptions are made for the unusual.
Ok professor, I have revized my work.
Rule: privates SHOULD flash me. No privates in my pancakes.
Exception:No unusual privates should flash me.
Revised.
But I like spelling it with a Z and the spellchecker says it’s ok.
Revized.
*waits for the professor’s lecture about how he is more intelligent than the spellchecker*
I’ll let Merriam-Webster do it for me:
Main Entry: re·vise
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈvīz\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): re·vised; re·vis·ing
Etymology: Middle French reviser, from Latin revisere to look at again, frequentative of revidēre to see again, from re- + vidēre to see — more at wit
Date: 1596
transitive verb
1 a : to look over again in order to correct or improve b British : to study again : review
2 a : to make a new, amended, improved, or up-to-date version of b : to provide with a new taxonomic arrangement
intransitive verb
British : review 1
synonyms see correct
— re·vis·able \-ˈvī-zə-bəl\ adjective
— re·vis·er or re·vi·sor \-ˈvī-zər\ noun
I will add that I do not recall ever having seen it with a “z.” Your spell checker, by the way, can become corrupted if you inadvertently hit the wrong key during proofing and add words that are spelled wrong.
Will this be on the test? I already have to cram (fish) for the exam.
I learned long ago that if students ever ask if something is going to be on the test, the only answer should be, “Maybe.” If you say it’s not, you might as well stop talking, at least to most college students. (Graduate students have usually learned to play the game well enough to at least feign interest.)
I will take some notes and revize.(I know that being the professor, it must be driving you nuts that I wrote the word with a z again. )
Sorry, I couldn’t help to bait the professor.
In tentional misstakes botherr me nnot attt allllll. Revize aweigh.
Amazing – Chambers, Collins and the OED (main authorities on “English English”; I’ll give you Webster’s for “US English”) all agree that it’s “revise” too, and don’t quote a variant spelling.
I also agree that it’s revise, but I wanted to get JohnB to explain how he is better than the spellchecker.
But I didn’t, did I? I merely asserted that I was right. Computers can certainly beat me when it comes to consistent attention to detail, but any spellchecker is only as good as the program that devised it and the information that is put into it. (And spellcheckers are quite useless if your misspelling is another valid word.)
The cook makes pancakes in the morning and has a stage show with ping pong balls in the evening.
Then I want to make sure I come in at the mid afternoon so that I catch both.
The pancakes are served in paddles instead of plates.
She’s not using a paddle.
I hope she’s not using an oar. I’ve had enough oar dust.
Good grief, it’s a female cook doing That Thing With The Ping Pong Balls, isn’t it? And I’m supposed to be eating whilst this is happening within eyeshot?
My grandpa used to say, if you gonna eat Pancale, you gotta have at least QQQQ. Wise man.
Well, four-Q too!
I bet they put diet c0ck in the ‘unusual’ private pancake
I was going to make a Penguins of Madagascar joke, but then realized that I’m maybe the only one here watching it with grand kids? I’ll spare you.
By the way – a coffee pancake is a great idea if you’re in a hurry. Breakfast and coffee – you can eat it in the car on the freeway. Hmmm.
But the syrup is going to give you a sticky car.
Besides, don’t you know there’s no such thing as a freeway lunch?
A pancake could be handy on the freeway if you need to brake fast.
Oh yes, much, much tastier than that flat ‘possum.
And safer since you don’t have to get out of your car and dodge freeway traffic.
I thought the whole point of army privates is that they are all usual. They put them in a big vat and homogenise them so they all come out the same.
Not sure about whether the army teaches enlisted personnel to make pancakes, though – it’s possible, I suppose, my husband makes reasonable pancakes but I don’t know whether he learned it whilst in the army.
Did your husband get homogenized in the army? Did he like it?
Obviously he has been homogenized since dr handle is a man.
Dr. Handle is a woman.
Well, she always says that she is a woman anyway.
Unless she could provide pics of her….womanliness………
Unfortunately, I’ve never been karyotyped, so I cannot offer you any concrete proof.
Take it from me, even the karyotype is not conclusive proof. I currently deal with a patient whose karyotype shows a normal XY pair, but whose body and hormone levels are much more female than male. There are a surprising number of physical intersex conditions, and of course gender identification is a separate issue in itself.
There’s only one way to make sure; straigthen your right hand untill it won’t move anymore and take a pic from it and post a pic here. Womens elbow bends bit over the 180 degrees, men’s elbow(in 99% of cases) doesn’t.
Well, I just tried it, and I am astounded to learn that I am actually a woman! I can’t wait ’til my wife finds out!
Mine bends back about 190 degrees……..
…..my ELBOW, that is!
I wouldn’t suggest trying this test with male members, although I had always thought having a male member pretty much guaranteed one was a male. What did I know?!
You go, girl!!!
Too……easy…..to be……………troll!……….must contain………inner…..troll….
This could be a new rigorous scientific method for determining gender when (or if) on date, lol. ” Would you please straighten your right arm so I could see whether you are a man or a woman.”
Ya might get slapped. Really hard.
Now you got me curious….
If you are with someone in RL and you are questioning their gender chances are good that the person will get offended, whether they are a man or a woman.
That would show very bad manners.
I wouldn’t even dream of saying that to my girlfriend!
I was having a bit of fun in regards to Mr Meatshield’s “method” of determining gender.
@ Mr Meatshield – How, exactly, would you know that?
I was basing it in well known truth about internet; rule nr1. “There are no women in internet” So forth ie MMORPG really means = Many Men Online RolePlaying Girls.
And now I can go make some pancakes, since I obviously have unusual privates for a woman!
Yes you do, JohnB!
There’s absolutely no way you could know that!!!
You just said it!
You yourself said: “think first, then act!”
Yeah, but you have no way of knowing whether I’m speaking truthfully. And when someone here quickly and enthusiastically agrees with a statement about my privates, it feels pretty strange, since as far as I know, my privates are, well, rather private!
Whatever you say, JoannaB!
Now you really can’t tell, can you?
It’s about time!!
dr handle would still be brilliantly funny, witty, sharp, and smart regardless of gender.
Agreed. And if “he’s” role-playing being female, “he’s” doing a splendid job of it.
But she wouldn’t have her spurts of funny anger! And we would have nobody to yell ‘I NOT HAS A PMS!’
But we would still have you to check for it.
Yes…there is that….
Haha, yup. That’s something I discoverec when I was on holiday in Thailand, my local friend told me that those girls who are best looking are almost 70% men and if they’ve got surgery done right and even got rid of the Adam’s apple and had voice correction, only way to see if they have been men is to see if their hand bends “over”. Amazingly this test has worked tons of times for me with only one exeption
(and he was gay btw) Womens hand should bend clearly over from elbow when men’s hand might be bit overbending but not so clearly. So either you’re doing it wrong or you’re one of the rare exeptions ^^
Well, I’m not gay. I won’t vouch for SS, but he seems to be rather blatantly str8 in orientation. Perhaps it’s all my years of yoga. I’m more flexible than most men my age. But I can’t help wondering: if you’ve got a very attractive woman in front of you, no apparent flaws or defects, and she’s willing to have secks, why does it matter so much to you if she used to be a man?
I’m married, so it does. oO
Which means that you had to test your wife’s gender before you married her? Or that your wife doesn’t mind your cheating, as long as it’s another woman and not a man?
If we were both men, we could not be legally married in a way recognised by the various legal and regulatory national and state bodies. Our country is quite backward in that regard, I’m afraid. (Apparently, if gay people start getting married, the Earth’s core will explode, or something.)
Actually, the problem is that the heads of a certain core of the population’s heads will explode.
Personally, I don’t necessarily consider that a problem, except for the mess the rest of us would have to clean up afterwards.
That’s why you have to ask them to clean their table after they die.
If they know gay folks are going to be getting married, I think they’d tend to be uncooperative.
I think it would be worth it – if they all explode around the same time, we’ll only have to clean up the once, and we’ll just hose the place down.
The word that was used Way Back Then was “fraternising” (which was a polite way of saying Being Gay In The Army, whether you actually did anything or not). Mind you, he has on occasion wondered out loud if he might be a lesbian, because he’s read about what they like to do, and those activities appeal to him rather a lot.
What goes with a pancake of QQ?
A nice tall glass of STFU.