It must have tried it
It knocks.
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*knocks on wood*
…or it gets the hose again
Wow, that was weird.
THAT WAS WEIRD! like al.
… it puts the clothing on the hanger
… or it can re-iron its own bloody shirts.
Ironing a bloody shirt is not a good idea. Sets the stain, you know.
…or it gets the hose again.
My thoughts exactly!
Or, in this season, it gets the Ho Ho Hos again.
HoHos are rather similar to Little Debbies.
Don’t let Little Debbie hear you say that!
*eats little debbie*
Yes, my precise instant thought
It probably needs a higher octane fuel.
Just eat beans!
A door that knocks by itself? This would be the perfect Christmas gift for those who are too lazy to knock.
Or the ultimate in sleep deprivation, if you just can’t sleep whilst there’s a banging going on at the door!
Who’s banging the door?
Dummy, you haven’t changed your name.
And here I thought he was just embracing his destiny…
DnT called me Dummy
, so I will be him for the next day.
But your comments will be him for an eternity. Great thinking on your part.
Given your handle here, the aphorism about people in glass houses comes to mind…
That they should undress in the dark? O_o
No, not that one.
Oh, ShadowSplicer, I’m kind of flattered that you want to play around with my puns, but please! NOT THAT ONE! I decided it was a stinker about 300 milliseconds after I hit “Inject Comment”. I doubt that many people even got it.
Anyhow, we now know something else about this site. You can’t have a gif in your tag, which is probably a good thing.
BTW, you got the emoticon wrong. The “tongue” is colon capital P. I don’t use random emoticons. This one is supposed to show I’m kidding.
I use random emoticons, but only because my emotions are quite random.
I decided to put a : ) because I was in a good mood.
It isn’t the door. the fill valve water hammers the pipes when it shuts off. I’ll fix it after I change to my pants that show my butt crack.
Nothing like a smiling plumber! It must indicate job satisfaction.
Make sure some hairs are sticking out the pants. Otherwise it doesn’t seem convincing enough.
No butts about it, crack kills.
:8):
That is what my neighbor told me after a visit from the plumber.
These days, it seems like half the yoot population is walking around with pants halfway down their butts and a pile of material around the ankles. I now know well what underwear styles and colors are popular, and I didn’t particularly want to!
I don’t see the point of that. All of my clothes fit me nicely!
What I want to know is, how do they get their pants to stop falling down completely, when the waistband is so low (below their hip bones sometimes)? Is there a masculine form of Hollywood tape involved? Never mind how you actually walk with the crotch of your trousers at knee level, I just want to work out what gravity-defying trick they use to stop them falling all the way.
Y’know, that gravity-defying trick doesn’t always work… there is an incident with a skateboarder etched in my mind.
*hands blueJade the mind bleach*
hell, no!! I’m keeping it! Was funny!!
And which blueJade am I talking to?
All of us.
I asked my nephew, in all seriousness, that very question, back when he was not yet adolescent enough to have stopped talking entirely (I know, I know, I should have texted it, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have understood his answer), since he weighed about 57 pounds then and was wearing like 48-inch-waist jeans. He just grinned mysteriously. I took this to mean that teenaged boys’ perpetual tumescence has something to do with it.
goes for girls as well, but they simply CANNOT pull them up.
You’re ruining my tumescence theory!
Maybe those girls can make the ping-pong ball trick work in reverse!
Spoken like a true plumber-wanna/be. Apparently you still believe the outfit goes with the job… Love it.
Sounds like a horror movie to me. “Coming this Halloween…IT KNOCKS…It may be polite, but once you let it in …”
I could totally work in Hollywood.
What happens when you let it in? Does it yell “(Enter original commenter here)? THIS IS (ENTER REBUTTLER HERE!)
Be careful, it’s not always opportunity.
But there’s always an opportunity that it might be.
Eh, it’s just prolly of one of those Jehovah’s folks.
If so, I’ve found a foolproof way to get rid of them quickly. Before they start on their spiel, I tell them I’m sorry, I’ve already got a religion I am quite comfortable with. They can never resist asking which one, and I say I’m a practicing Satanist, with an evil grin. They can’t get off my porch fast enough!
I tell them that they’re wasting their time at our house: we’re a traddy Catholic and an atheist. I think you’re all self-deluding, and he thinks you’re all going to hell. But would you like to top up your water bottles with something cold and fizzy? It’s a really hot day.
Being Buddhist, although it’s not a religion, also tends to throw them. The expressions on the faces seem to indicate that we are pretty tough customers.
And having a pit bull really seems to help, also.
I disagree that Buddhism is not a religion, and I say this as someone who has studied Buddhism for many years (and even considered myself Buddhist for some of them). It throws Westerners off, though, in that it is a non-theistic religion–that is, it takes no official position on the existence or non-existence of God, which to the Western mind is a simple categorization. You either believe in God, in which case you’re religious; you’re not sure, in which case you’re agnostic; or you believe there is no God, in which case you are an atheist. So few Western minds have the slightest grasp of the amazing variety of either the possible alternative conceptualizations of ultimate reality, or of the amazing variety of spiritual technologies that can enable one to experience ultimate reality directly.
Umm, you mean like the theory of relativity and quantum physics?
I believe that when one deeply understands the implications of relativity and quantum physics, what you get is very much what the mystics have been telling us for millenia: that the universe is one seamless, undivided Whole, and our normally limited human perspective of personal identity and a three-dimensional reality that changes over time is an illusion. And I find the precisely the same answer when I am in the deepest states of meditation.
Not really, or then I’m still missing something out. At least to my knowledge all quantum physics states that matter exist in all know 4 dimensions simultaneously and changin matter itself simply creates another universe where the change was made while our “original” still sticks to the “original” matter. Therefore we get infinite numbers of overlapping layers which interact with both means matter and energy also the interaction can apply in both directions of time, thus allowing small particles like quantums carry information creating ther universe we humans try to grasp at. So it’s not illusion and there’s not just the “universe” rather universe should consist of billions overlapping universes which “communicate” with each other making ever more overlapping universes. But however that’s just my interpretation of the matter.
I’ve already waxed too philosophical in this thread, so I’ll simply suggest you check out Bell’s Theorem, if you’re not already familiar with it.
I’m quite familiar with it, but I think work done by Karl Hess makes some of it show in a new light
Ah, but correction of correction. You’re right in to say that it’s gone offtopic to say at least. I don’t think this is quite the place for at least half scientific debate ^^
Well, certainly there are other theories, and I can’t say that nonlocal action is established with complete certainty by scientific studies at this point. But the case is pretty good. And when I throw in my personal experiences with deep meditation (in which I can, sometimes, literally visualize the universe in four dimensions, something I can’t come close to normally), I have to side with Bell. And I think that has tremendous implications for our frame of reference in everyday life. I literally plan to write a book in which this features prominently.
Religion requires an act of faith. Buddhism is a frame of reference. One can be believe any religion and still be a Buddhist. It requires zero faith to be a Buddhist.
Bubba, I mean Buddha, was a human teacher who lived and died. There have probably been many other “enlightened ones” who simply haven’t gotten the press Buddha had. Any of us can become enlightened. Considering him a deity undermines his teachings.
Nonetheless, Buddhism is treated by a religion by many.
There is “cultural Buddism,” with all the trimmings, or there is just Buddhism. It shares that with the major religions.
It depends upon your definition of a religion, and you can interpret any religion to be only a philosophy. Buddha never claimed to be anything more than a man who fully woke up. But one cannot be a Buddhist without at least believing he did so. I personally believe Jesus was quite misinterpreted, and I don’t think he ever claimed he could do anything other humans couldn’t, and in fact he explicitly stated that anyone could do what he did. It could be argued that considering him a deity undermines his teachings as well, but I personally find it a more important portion of his teachings, as well as the Buddha’s, that to argue about or focus on the external trappings of rituals and rules is a waste of time. What’s important IS the frame of reference, particularly the development of a transpersonal perspective.
the two of you make me wish we could talk elsewhere.
I’m not sure whether this is a compliment or a put-down!
Give us gum, or internets, or something. I think we burned SS out.
Burned me out of what? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!
Actually, I don’t know that Buddha woke up. He may have been massively delusional, or a great hypester, or both. He was a human, and humans are always a mixed bag. He was probably a pain in the @ss… a self-centered individual who valued what went on inside his head more than he valued his family. I like the ideas, though, and feel they are worth pursuing. When I try to implement the teachings, I do get results. And does give me a frame of reference by which to interpret the world.
It doesn’t matter to me whether he was “enlightened” or not.
Interesting take. I think whatever disagreements we have are more matters of words than substance. It has long been my “gold standard” of any religious or spiritual idea that implementation of the idea in my life works for me, and so debates about whether Christ was literally resurrected or not leave me similarly unconcerned. But having experienced important events in my life that I cannot rationally explain, I tend to view any teaching that has transformative power as having its roots in something transcendent, something greater than mere reason or intelligence.
Yes, that’s the reward for trying.
I just skimmed through your recent comments, and I saw @ss. I thought you were saying something @ me! @ SS, @ss, SAME THING!
@SS: Don’t be an @ss!
OK.
ā«…bang bang on the door baby
I can’t hear you! ā«
Who can It be knocking at my door?
Go ‘way, don’t come ’round here no more.
āŖāŖā« Knock Knock Knocking on Heavens Doorā«āŖāŖ
Can’t you hear me knockin’ on your window
Can’t you hear me knockin’ on your door
Can’t you hear me knockin’ down your dirty street, yeah
I hear you knocking, but you can’t come in.
Get off my D@m porch!
Dummy! It is my porch! If it was yours, I wouldn’t hear you knocking!
Great song selection.
Except for Dummy!:)’s post . I’m not sure which one that is?
Not a song, but it fits there. It’s a catch-line from a movie I haven’t seen. I think Clint Eastwood said it.
Yes, “Gran Torino.” Decent movie.
More than just decent IMO; one of Clint’s best (so more with Flags of Our Fathers, Letters From Iwo Jima and Play Misty for Me than with the later Dirty Harry films).
Well, I’d agree it’s one of the better movies I’ve seen in a while, but I am often underwhelmed by films.
If you play Misty, who will play Ash and Brock?
Actually, I think it was “Get off my d@nm lawn”, said whilst aiming a pump-action at a Vietnamese gangbanger.
Yes that’s right, except he only said, “Get off my lawn”
I definitely heard the “d@mn” in there. Given his curmudgeonly persona in that film, if it wasn’t there, it should have been!
It gets re-used.
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!
Hence the headline.
That knocks ass!
And the a$$ opens, just a crack…..
Just don’t get anal about it.
Retentive or expulsive?
(Freud had the anal stage divided into two parts. Which certainly makes sense, in a literal sort of way…)
I didn’t think Freud was one to turn the other cheek.
But remember: sometimes, an ass is just an ass.
And sometimes an @ss is not directed at ShadowSplicer!
And sometimes a sign is just a sign.
And sometimes it’s a good sign, like this. Welcome back, Holly!
Yeah, you’ve been MIA for a long while, I think.
Isn’t time for someone to post knock-knock jokes?
On the other hand maybe not.
Me: Knock, Knock!
You: Who’s there?
Me: It.
You: It who?
Me: It knocks.
You:…..
Me:………..
You:………………..
Me:………………………………
Are you saying that you are my long lost cousin? Is that it?
Long have I search for you and at long last I have found what was lost for the first time for the last time, and this time it’s personal!
I hope that answers your question.
Pay no attention to that mere impostor, for the knocker labors under the delusion that the knocking is done for the intention. The knock simply is. There is no answer, because there is no question.
Yes, he certainly is not cousin Itt.
Don’t think I want to click on his name either.
We could be here a while.
It knocks, or it gets shouted at for walking in on Mummy and Daddy having special cuddles again.
How could you shout at it? It’s a-door-able!
And you’re just *clonk*able. Off to Dreadful Pun Hell right now.
He is certainly quite *clonk*able, and I mean that as a compliment!
You’re just biased because he is a square.
No, I’m still around.
Well, if I’m biased, then obviously I’m not square.
It also rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever its told…
It knocks, then it PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN, OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.
I have this picture! I took it in Tokyo at Kiddie Land. There was a sign by the sink that says, “To cleanliness, always” or something to that effect. We laughed!
This sounds like that magic “forbidden door” from those Oglaf comics. It knocks itself.
Aww! A door with low self-esteem. Maybe JohnB can help.
I could probably help, if it would open itself up a little.
*slams shut*
I was talking to you, Mr. Door.
That’s Mrs. Door to you! *humph* The nerve of some people!
*writes diagnosis: Gender disorder in adolescence or adults*
*oops: leaves out “identity”*
It knocks… then it puts the lotion in the basket!
I want to see it
If you could see it, it wouldn’t have to knock.
It puts the hand cream in the basket….