That’s what I do when I’m working the pole
IMPORTANT!
1. Atways cansult a physiclun befare embarking on any exercise plan.
2. Wear lonse fiuing clothes and dress in severul layers to keep warm. If you are too hor you always remave a top.
3. Always warm up before exercising. Allow at least 5 minutes and remember to inelude a stretching routinc.
4. Make sure your equipment is in good shape Before using it to work out. Ensure all bauds. Cables. Clips and screws are wel secured.
5. Drink plenty of ftuids afies exercising Carbohydrate drinks or water.
Why not just use an illustration?
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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ahem, first!
Thank you
ahem, fail.
Your welcome.
first loser
I have high speed internet. some of my baud came loose, blew a hole through the wall, and left my email lopsided.
your internet is too hor
I removed the top of the modem.
If your internet is too hor, does that mean it gets usually used by others?
You can always tell your internet is high speed by its lonse fiuing clothes.
Careful, dont forget to warm up your internet before embarking
I allowed it five minutes, but I didn’t inelude a stretching routinc. I’m afraid my bauds are uninsured.
Only if its wireless, then it can go around.
Was the baud ensured?
Casualty only. No collision or comprehensive and it was a complete loss. Everyone is going too fast on the crowded network and there have been a lot of Ethernet collisions. Luckily, there was no need for a medical claim.
The series of tubes is getting crowded!
Another OCR proofreading failure. The more of these show up, the easier they are to spot.
But they are much harder to stripe or checker.
I was thinking “OCR Fail,” too! You can see where it failed, but not why they left it like that when they printed it…
Oh, surely this is an OCR fail, but anyone who has ever used OCR knows that without proofing it, or the capacity for proofing it, is just as likely to end up gibberish as those who use internet translation programs the same way.
Which makes it Engrish! Yay! Funny!
Remaving my top is how I became such a hor in the first place!
I remaved my top once and everybody was hor-ified.
But only for a brief inelude.
Was your equipment in good shape?
When I was young, it always was. But these days, it can be perfectly fine before a workout, but afterwards I often find my cables and screws have become unsecured.
Being a Scot, I have to say that my equipment is always in perfect working order!
Except when the dilithium crystals are about to blow us to kingdom come!
If he gives it any more, she’ll blow!
*boom-tish*
Strictly speaking, for the joke to work properly aren’t you meant to wait for someone to ask “Is anything worn under the kilt?” before you give this answer?
Strictly speaking, I would agree, but since paws declared his heritage, it sounded close enough to me. Especially since no-one was likely to ask the question.
OK so basically your asking me to make a doctors appointment then get dressed so i won’t be cold. Warm up but not too warm else remove clothes i put on earlier in case it does, or the other way round. Then i do a full service check on the piece of equipment i’m supposed to get too warm on and then go drink something…
Screw it, i’m going out for pancakes.
remaving my top made me a hor in the first place, now i warm up before excersicing, and i inelude a stretching routinc.
That pretty much sums it up!
You should always ensure all bauds, if you’re planning on getting baudy.
Or if you’re planning on getting screws.
If your screws are not baudy, there’s definitely something wrong!
You mean that if they’re not baudy, they’re screwed?
What if the screws are bald?
One can be a baldy and still quite bawdy.
In fact, I think the screws aren’t bald, they’re ribald.
He met a lewd nude in Bermuda.
She thought she was shrewd; he was shrewder.
She thought it quite rude
To be wooed in the nude;
He pursued her, subdued her – then screwed her.
Quality limerick WIN!
I wonder if it happened on the Bald Bridge (at Limerick).
Weren’t they in Bermuda?
They could have waited till they got to Ireland.
Nah! Who am I kidding? My fail!
Actually, Bermuda tends to be more conservative about such things; you won’t find many nude sunbathers there.
Better off in Aruba
If you want to see boob-a;
And when not doing that you can SCUBA.
Well, Scuba, Do!
Scuba dooba doo!
I always make sure my equipment is in good shape.
Study this closely. This is a classic subspecies of Engrish classified as OCRgrish. The product label and warning were pirated from another product as was the product’s design. The poor quality of printing and cheap paper has allowed the GYMNASTIC BALL to print through. The OCR software or someone not familiar with western characters could not recognize the italicized text and made inappropriate, but graphically reasonable substitutions. It made poor punctuation and capitalization choices and did not spell or grammar check the text . It then meets the legarish standards by wasting paper to print unintelligible warnings non-germane for someone doing ball exercises. This is an example of the output of Dilbertesque management and product control. It is funny and a warning that no one has a monopoly on inept management.
Thanks for the elucidation! My enjoyment of engrish is sheerly visceral; and it’s nice to know there is awareness and appreciation for the finer points.
Can you tell me how I can get my viscera to be sheer? Mine are a bit thick.
You’d have to be me; and there’s no room.
Right, because there are only two bluejades. Maybe JohnB can be waitlisted as a bluejade once one of them decides to quit.
Please don’t be long. Soon will be the break of day, sitting here in blueJade way.
Alright! You can be a bluejade on Wednesday after lunch. If it works out, we’ll give you more hours.
I’ve already worked on the look! All I need is a pair of dark shades and to quit smiling.
Lookin’ mighty fly, JohnB! I think you got it!
Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly. Think!
We just refuse to let some troll take over a word. I am lookin’ mighty fly, for a blue guy!
*swats at fly* Dang bugs!
It’s Wednesday afternoon here. Or do we have to wait for 12PM Pacific time?
I’m sorry! I missed this comment, and you were patiently waiting!! Wail away! You’re now bluejade!
Save us from the OCR-gres.
Hor-ing is all the exercise I need, thank you very much.
Just looks like most posts in forums or comments sections to me.
I’m most surprised over that there seems to be a correct sentence in there.
Must be a sports doctor writing this followed by unchecked OCR.
“Make sure your equipment is in good shape Before using it to work out.” Fer crying out loud, if my equipment was already in good shape, I wouldn’t NEED to be working out – do you think I come here to this hideous place and engage in this ghastly activity called “exercise” because I LIKE it?
I’m surprised that they did not put the other legarish standard disclaimers:
Do not operate beyond the designed capacities or in an unsafe manor.
Do not operate alone or unsupervised.
Do not operate if ill or incapacitated.
Do not operate while under the influence of over the counter or prescription drugs, alcohol, illegal or controlled substances.
No, do not operate beyond the designed capacities or in acondemned building.
Why bother? Plenty of sh!t had been thrown against the wall already!
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall.
Can I operate it if I’m over the influence of under-the-counter drugs?
Don’t under ount them before you take them.
Dom’t under count them.
Time for a new keyboard and fingers for Christmas.
fail.
I didn’t know they were selling keyboards now complete with new fingers! Do I have to by a whole set, or can I just buy one finger? (I have this arthritic right pinkie that insists on taking on a non-linear shape and aching when I type too many P’s.)
Fingers are like tires. You might as well replace them all if one goes bad near end of life. The handling and grip is like new and you don’t have to worry about the next one failing soon. If the rest of them are in new shape, just replace the one.
Something to remember when your fingers get tired.
I always count my over-the-counter drugs under the counter. Am I violating the law or some rule?
Always count over the counter drugs over the counter. The light is better and if one falls while counting under the counter, the dog will get it before it hits the floor.
Must be a sports doctor writing this followed by unchecked OCR.
Must be a spammer writing that followed by unrestrained LOL.
My doctor disapproves of my consulting a physiclun. He thinks they’re all quacks.
Wow!! My 2 year old cousin made something and it’s on the internet!!!