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Going out
Please do not go out with having left me in a house. If I am here, can you going with you? I am unpleasant. I hate it being left.
Aww, he’s sad .. (Via I Has A Hotdog)
Submitted by: Stephen via Engrish Funny Submissions
Gift bag in the 7/11 in Japan
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Poor doggy!
Awhh.. he is such a cute little doggy!
Please give me some space…..step back about 5 posts…
Yes, I can go out with me.
Can I go out with you?
*kidding*
FIRST!
*ignore*
No. You will be left.
Fine, fine. My kids do this to me all the time. Put your shoes on. I will walk you around the block and we are coming right back to Engrish.
I don’t likes you anymores!
I would very much like to be able to pop my dog in a bag to take her out. Unfortunately, she’s now 30+ kilos (at ten months of age – halp) and I can’t find a nice little Vuitton number that’s big enough.
Forget the bag. It’s time to start shopping for a saddle, or maybe a gig.
If she gigs the dog, it won’t be trying to run off, true, but it will still be awfull heavy to carry.
“Awfully” was too heavy, and I dropped the “y.”
On my head too! Owwww…
I gave you an owwy!
Drop another one and see if it makes him y’s.
And ‘Y’ would you do that?
Droll probably thinks you’re a y’s guy. And it certainly is true that you can’t be a guy without a Y.
Hmmmm…no *clonk*?
Still no *clonk*?!
Grrrrrrrr……The Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy isn’t doing her job!!
I WANT A CLONK FROM THE DREADFUL PUN HELL FAIRY!
*Clonk*
THE DREADFUL PUN HELL FAIRY!!!!!
*clonk*
Happy now???
NOOOOO!!!!! I WANT THE TRUE DPHF!!!!!
*clonk*
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME ANYMORE!!!
People, people you have clonked him senseless. Please stop.
ShadowSplicer, you were asking for it, and that’s why they clonked you. So next time, beware what you wish for.
I WANT THE DREADFUL PUN HELL FAIRY TO CLONK ME DANGIT! IS THAT TOO HARD TO ASK?!!! JUST FRIGGIN CLONK ME SO I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE!!
*CLONK*
Calm down, and please remember that Dr. Handle, the original Dreadful Pun Hell Fairy, resides in Australia, a place where, thanks to the time differential, she is most likely asleep. The rest of us have done the best we can. She usually begins making some comments about this time of day so I’m sure she will be glad to give you a clonk you will never forget.
*ULTRA CLONK*
*CLANG!*
OWOWOWOWOOWWOWOOOOWWWWWW! Thatah reereAlly HUruteddddd,
All right. It’s time for Me to intervene here.
******CLONK!!!!!!!*****
Thou art now clonked for eternity. Peace be with you.
ii dunnnn waannaaa bebeebeeeeee clllonkkekded by yy annyyy bodysss butth thhthteheh dddr h,,!
*boom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*KLONK!!!!!!!*
Your pun wasn’t dreadful. It was just lame.
*dink* That’s not for your pun, that’s for carrying on like a whiny little girldog.
*FWOOSH!*
iii thiinked thath i googttedd whhwhacked tooo manyy tttimes..,,.
*Whump!*
*faints*
*Tink!*
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…
*Beep!*
Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! Ow, quit it! OW, QUIT IT!
*Buzz!*
Eat my shorts!
*Meow!*
*uses alien laser beam on Meowth* *Meowth turns into a chicken*
… You’re hallucinating again… I am no chicken…
If she was a Rottie, which were bred to be used to pull carts as part of their working lives, I might consider it, but she’s a German Shepherd. So far, her major talent seems to be protecting me from threatening sewing bags.
I was trying to design a bag that a 25+ kg standard poodle could ride in and stick his head over the top.
Shouldn’t dogs that are more than 25kg be walking instead of being carried around? I have no dogs, so that’s why I ask. I do have kids and god knows I don’t want to carry them around for long.
As the parent of a 47-kg daughter, I no longer carry her anywhere, although there are certainly times when I wish I had a bag to put her in, although I would rather that she not be able to stick her head out of the top. In fact, just a bag over her head would probably do the trick!
What’s with all the metric weight? How many pounds is that?
As an old science buff, I tend to respond in metric units when people have started in metric units, since I’m comfortable with either (and when you get to weights of various volumes, the old English system gets to be a nightmare!). 1kg is about 2.2 lb.
I see. I never memorized the conversion tables.
Oh, I never memorized anything unless forced to, and I usually got by in school on understanding, rather than memorization. But if you work enough with a system, you tend to remember things without any particular effort, which is why I think memorization is generally a waste of good educational time. Just like I can tell you that major depression, recurrent, severe, with psychotic features, has a DSM-IV code of 296.34 without having to look it up, and (thank God!) I was never required to memorize the DSM-IV.
That is a big book. It would take a while to memorize that, and it would make your head hurt. Also, it will be outdated by the DSM-V.
If the DSM-V ever actually comes out! They only actually started work on it this year, and they are projecting a release date of 2012. I sincerely doubt it’ll be finished that soon, because of all sorts of political issues that have become attached to mental health diagnoses. I actually started work when the DSM-II was the “bible” of diagnostics, so I have had to change my mental framework several times already. Fortunately, I’m flexible!
Don’t forget to do your warm up exercises first!
Actually, I’m disappointed that they are trying to take Asperger’s Syndrome out of it now.
Until puppies are 12 weeks old, they haven’t had their full set of first vaccinations, so it’s prudent not to take them out walking – if you do have to take them anywhere, you have to carry them around. Most of them thoroughly enjoy this. Many dogs would be happy to be carried around for the rest of their lives. Maybe some sort of hiking backpack arrangement would do it?
I had a backpack in which my daughter could ride, and walked with her regularly until she hit about 25 kg, which was about the time she started wanting to walk more than ride, and was also about the time it ceased being just good exercise and became a real chore. Every dog I’ve ever had seemed to prefer walking to being carried, even the one old girl who started running out of steam long before she had used to, long before the other dog, and long before me. I had to carry her home many times (fortunately she only weighed about 6 kg; she was a Cairn terrier), but it was clear that she’d have preferred to be doing it on her own. Even when she became very infirm, I still had to hitch her up and take her for a walk, even though we’d turn around after maybe 50 slow feet, so I could drop her back home and take the other dog for a real walk, so badly did she still want to go.
I used to take my daughter on walks in a backpack until she got to be about 25 kg, which was about when she started wanting to walk more than ride, and when it went from being just good exercise to being a real chore. All the dogs I’ve known have preferred walking to my carrying them, even when they became winded or infirm, but I’ve only really known smaller dogs well. (We currently have a chihuahua and a Bichon frise-Maltese mix.)
Will there be a third variation of this post?
Well, chalk it up to a net glitch, but after posting the first one it just disappeared, and when it didn’t appear after a few minutes I wrote it again, more concisely since it was a revision, and adding the bit about smaller dogs because I’ve noticed Dr. H seems to mostly talk about larger canines than I’m used to, and no doubt there are differences in personality with different breeds.
I see. You really let the dog out of the bag with that one…
Yes, and on a leash unless they will come “to heel” when called. The point is not whether or not they will attack someone, but whether or not they make others nervous that they may be attacked, or accidentally knocked over by boisterousness.
My dog is extremely dangerous: if she doesn’t lick you to death or drown you in drool, she will beat you to a pulp with her wagging tail.
Hey, I had enough of the guilt-trips over the holiday.
I am unpleasant. I hate it being left. Time to go republican!
Yay! Another one for the good guys! (well….at least they used to be good…)
I am not a crook…any more!
Oh drat, you beat me to it – that’ll teach me to go smart-arse posting without reading all the comments properly first. *shame*
No shame! You don’t deserve it! You deserve non-poisoned cake!
*gives non-poisoned cake to the good dr.*
Lies!
Cakes!
You make me sad.
I was trying to be nice! NO CAKE FOR YOU!
You give me no cake and I’ll tell you no lies.
Huh? What? Are you supposed to put your dog in that bag and bring it with you?
Only if you’re Paris Hilton, in which case the dog would probably prefer to stay at home and talk to the houseplants because the conversation is more intellectually gratifying.
True.
I am unpleasant. I hate it being left.
I am a Liberal/Republican/Tory (cross out whichever does not apply in your country).
Except фдуч_шяь thought this line up first.
SECOND!
MINUTE!
POTATO!
SALAD!
*Eats potato salad*
Stop being left and start being right.
Start being right and start being wrong.
No one deserves your left behind!
I’m right behind you there!
What do you want with my right behind?
That’s enough of your cheek.
Fine, then. I’ll turn the other cheek.
What will you turn it into?
A left behind!
I saw this in 7 11 in Japan, I took a picture and was going to upload it, but you beat me to it…
You are not unpleasant, emo dog. I love you.
Emo dogs do not want to be loved. It spoils their belief that the entire world is against them and doesn’t understand them.
Then they shouldn’t be so damned cute! *cuddles emo puppy*
Any canine, or human for that matter, with whom you have an extended relationship, will seem unpleasant to you at one time or another. That doesn’t mean we should stop loving them.
I have far more tolerance for dreadful behaviour from the pup than I do from humans. When she destroyed the pond spillway, ripped up a potted citrus and broke a large ceramic bowl in the garden, I stood in the middle of the wreckage and surveyed what she had wrought – whilst she looked up at me with that doggie “Aren’t I clever?” face. I was thinking “I should probably be angry about this,” but I just couldn’t stop laughing for long enough to be angry.
Duhhh, silly dog we left you *because* you are unpleasant!
I am only unpleasant *because* you left me!
Which of course brings us to the timeless question, which came first, the unpleasantness or the dog?
I can going with me. The puppy is unpleasant.
Perhaps a couple of charcoal and chlorophyll biscuits will improve the pleasantness of puppeh?
I liked the part when you said “unpleasant”.
I liked my own comment too, as it said “unpleasant”. Owee again!
This is similar to what I said to my Girlfriend.
She is truly privileged.
I saw this myself when I went to Japan