Engrish Pictures and other Funny Engrish Mistakes in English from around the world.

 

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Pay attention America, they’re going to own us soon


engrish funny imagination

May we remind you: Please be self-restraint and be a good tourist to mold a well-mannered imagination

Outside of the Forbidden City, Beijing, China

Submitted by: wetpapernewsdotcom via Engrish Funny Submissions

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» Glory! 90 Comment

  1. annoying firster says:

    first!!!!!!!!!
    anyway, don’t see how they take over the good ol’ U S of A

    • Janet24 says:

      I think, and I could be wrong, that it’s a joke.

    • General Lord Saber of the Ongoing Joke says:

      They don’t have to. They’ve practically bought us, and, if China went on strike, we’d be S.O.L.

    • Harry V says:

      Haven’t you heard???
      They reproduce! And by doing so they can send their surpluss children to the USA using adoption agencies, as well as allow their home-grown children to attend universities in the US. By working hard and generally being better than the average lazy white guy, these children will be able to get a US citizenship, good positions in society and then reproduce some more to increase their foothold. Ultimately their numbers will be large enough to take over the UofS completely.
      :)

  2. Sean says:

    I wouldn’t think enough French tourists visited China to necessitate such a warning.

    • Sean says:

      Also, I’d think China would find someone better to welcome guests than an eternally-smiling pilot with terrible dead eyes that stare right into your soul.

  3. lawlin' at things noone else ever lawls at like the word moose; also the CEO of trolls on trial, we make you the FIRST one in court says:

    HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF MOOSE! (heh, moose) I DONT RECOGNIZE ANYBODY IN FRONT OF MEH! THER ALL NEW!!! NO! and im fine what with Beijing (heh beijing) taking over USA. im canadian. it will just turn china into our #1 trading partner.

  4. Tourist says:

    My mommy says I’m a good tourist!

  5. la conejita says:

    The English tells us to behave in order to mold a well-mannered imagination. The Chinese wording of this sign probably says: Warning, we are being infested with foreign adventurers.

    • boring truth says:

      What they translated as “imagination” is actually “image” in Chinese. So this sign is meant for the local population to behave civilized in order to build, or “mold”, a good image of the Chinese people.

    • ShadowSplicer says:

      See…this is what I meant about “where are the strawberries?”

      http://autocompleteme.com/2009/11/10/mmm-strawberries/

      • la conejita says:

        Are you still thinking about those strawberries? Please let it go. I’ve taken several showers after that. And I have decided not to cover myself in anything else except clothes.

        Since I covered my whole body in strawberries, I suppose they were also in that part of my body. But like I said, that is in the past.

        (Hey, did you see there’s a new girl called Naked Sara? Go get her)

        • JohnB says:

          She’s not new; she was previously “Jennifer,” with a last name of “Tilley” if you clicked on her name, and the pictures of “Sara” are the same as the pictures of “Jennifer.” And in none of them is she actually naked. Hence my question above.

          • JohnB says:

            Yeah, I tell you, the next thing you know, that $487,000 that I sent off to that kindly lawyer in Nigeria for won’t arrive…

          • la conejita says:

            John,
            I thought we weren’t supposed to click on links on trolls names. What happened? You couldn’t resist because of the title?

            • ShadowSplicer says:

              I can’t believe it! BAD JohnB! *Double squirt with water bottle*

              • JohnB says:

                When she was “Jennifer,” she wasn’t acting like a troll, and when people who aren’t trolls have clickable names, I sometimes click on them to see what the deal is. When she became “NAKED SARA,” I simply recognized her.

                • la conejita says:

                  Since you said there were no naked pictures in there, I clicked. Nothing amusing to see. If you are going to pose on pics for people to see you, at least wear a good sexy bra, and make a sexy pose instead of just standing around in front of the mirror with your camera in one hand.

        • ShadowSplicer says:

          Meh….too easy. Not worth the time.

          • la conejita says:

            Ok, now I am thinking I might even want to read that book. I looked at the ratings on Amazon and they give it five stars. I read the reviews and they look good, but I am still confused as to what the book is about.

            • ShadowSplicer says:

              Uhhh…what book?

              • la conejita says:

                The strawberries one. After I saw your link, I googled it. I think she also has one called, “What is that banana doing in my v@gina, I need it for my fruit salad.”

                • ShadowSplicer says:

                  It’s a book?! And you actually clicked on *MY* link? Does this mean I’m not a troll anymore?

                  • la conejita says:

                    You’re somewhere between a troll and an Engrisher. Sometimes you lapse back into a troll, but usually come back.

                    Yes, I did click on your link. I think I can trust you. Plus, I wanted to know what you were referring to. Then when I saw your link, I wanted to google to see where it would take me. It’s a book called, “WHAT ARE THESE STRAWBERRIES DOING ON MY N¡PPLES, I NEED THEM FOR MY FRUIT SALAD”

  6. blueJade says:

    DO NOT WANT MOLD ON MY IMAGINATION, THANK-YOU VERY MUCH!!

  7. Someone says:

    W…what’s so funny about this?! Nothing is wrong!

    • ShadowSplicer says:

      Why are you always b!tching about pictures?

    • JohnB says:

      “Be self-restraint and a good tourist to mold a well-mannered imagination.” If you see nothing wrong with this, then clearly a course in remedial English is in order!

    • la conejita says:

      Guys, guys. I’ve noticed that this Someone always has the same comment about the pictures. He clearly does it as a form of entertaining himself/herself with our responses and wants us to lash out at him.

      I suggest we do the following:
      *Ignore*

  8. Madness says:

    You must be really a zen kind of person if “be self-restrain” sounds normal to you.

    • JohnB says:

      If you really have Zen, you will find no need of self-restraint, but will act spontaneously in a samadhi of innocent delight.

  9. dr handle says:

    Now, this whole idea of “not even allowed to think about being naughty” is getting out of hand – so long as you keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself, fantasise away. (If you want to fantasise about being restrained, well, what you think about is your own business.)

    • PoodleGroomer says:

      My imagination is very moldy, so it was easy to imagine. Well, somewhere between mold and mildew. Where is the brain bleach?

      • JohnB says:

        I live a very well-mannered life, which is made possible by my having a very wild and unrestrained fantasy life. If I have to restrain my imagination, I imagine my behavior might well be negatively impacted.

        • dr handle says:

          That’s it exactly – I demand the right, in the privacy of my own head, to fantasise about running around my workplace slapping senior management types with a large wet manila folder until they stop using stupid jargon and start speaking plain English. Even plain Engrish would be an improvement. The alternative is that I get a real pointy stick, and start poking real people with it. Really.

          • Madness says:

            I really like the way you think.

          • PoodleGroomer says:

            Fantasize borrow the dearest hubby’s TASER some day. Jargon is conditioned lying used to avoid telling the truth. Cultural acceptance leads to problem denial and the toxic workplace.
            Dog training shock collars would almost work except you would have too many remotes to manage. Pushing the wrong button would be wrong, but you know they did something while you weren’t looking.

            • dr handle says:

              I could never get a taser away from the husband – it’s their favourite toy to use on each other. He and his workmates think that spending a “professional development” afternoon zapping each other with the taser is the most fun you can have when you’ve been told to knock it off with the red man suits, because you’re tearing them to pieces… I’m starting to think that he’s actually a member of some weird mutual let’s-have-fun-beating-the-crap-out-of-each-other club, and this whole “I’m a policeman” schtick is just an elaborate ruse to cover his strange proclivities.

              • JohnB says:

                Wonder if they’re aiming for the temples, since a good tasering across the temples would probably simulate electroconvulsive therapy (ECT, also known as “shock treatments”), which remains the most powerful treatment for depression we have.

                • JohnB says:

                  But really, I am solidly with Dr. H on this issue, that in my brain I am free to think, fantasize, imagine, or visualize anything I care to at that moment, whether it is anything that I would ever actually do or even actually want to do, and whether it is anything society approves of or strongly disapproves of. Many things are fun in fantasy that would probably be awful to actually experience in real life. I think freedom of thought is the most primary freedom we have, and when you free your mind to think anything you choose to, you can open up a whole creative side of yourself you never knew existed.

                  • dr handle says:

                    Like diving into a swimming pool of melted chocolate. As a fantasy it is a doozy, but as a reality I think it might quite possibly be at the least very uncomfortable, and even prove fatal.

      • blueJade says:

        Try a strong solution of Oxy-Clean in very hot water.

  10. Queen o'sarcasm says:

    BE self-restraint? I’d like to see you try!

  11. Phil says:

    They’ll never be able to “own” us considering the debt that their own country is in.

    According to an article I remember reading in Forbes.

    They had disastrous investments in the Blackstone Group and Morgan Stanley which has lost them billions of dollars. They have accumulated huge U.S. dollar reserves to keep the value of its own currency down.

    Every time we print more money we weaken the U.S. dollar, thus making China’s dollar-based investments worthless.

    ***

    So I don’t see how they’ll be able to “buy us out”. Most of the large U.S. corporations are already globally owned. One that impacted us recently was the purchase of our St. Louis based Anheuser-Busch by InBev. Thousands have lost their jobs, including my wife’s director position in Human Resources. She was with the company for just over 31 years.

    The economy sucks and it’s just going to keep getting worse. We have off-shored so many jobs to foreign countries because it can be done for less. This leaves a widening gap in the American economy that can’t recover unless we bring the jobs back. Wages and product prices never seem to meet in the middle. If it’s made in America, it is too expensive to purchase – people can’t buy products because they are too expensive then that doesn’t inject cash back into the system.

    The company has to downsize because they aren’t selling enough which leaves people out of work – who can’t buy products, which forces companies to downsize, which leaves people out of work….etc…etc… It’s a cycle that must be stopped.

    • Eu!! says:

      Just proves that US sucks my balls. :D

      • JohnB says:

        Sorry, that position has been outsourced to Bangladesh.

        • blueJade says:

          I am sure there are a goodly number of unemployed in the U.S. of A. willing to do it locally. Faster service, no language barrier, and save on shipping!
          I say we need to invest in our own economy.

          • Phil says:

            - @ blueJade -

            Sadly…a lot of corporations who have open positions are stating that there are not enough qualified canidates.

            This is a complete load of crap.

            These companies are looking for people who’s skills don’t exist and want them to do it for next to nothing.

            I have several degrees and certifications but am finding it next to impossible to find anything…not because of the pay.

            Take Information Technology for instance. They are looking for a canidate who can program in multiple languages, is familar with Solaris, Oracle, Microsoft (all server versions) Cisco experience with certification, has a BS or Masters in Computer Science with 5 to 10 years experience and is willing to do “whatever it takes” for $50,000 a year!

            A position like that, years ago would have paid two to three times as much.

            I was paid $60,000 a year in 1997 in a desktop support role before moving into system administration and then network engineering.

            The whole economy sucks. I don’t want to flip burgers – but damnit, if I have to, I have to.

            • blueJade says:

              I have zero argument with what you’re saying. I think our economy is beginning a very unpleasant transformation process. I have no idea what the outcome will be; but the process of change is harsh. I am smack in the middle of it myself; and the only answer I have is to change my definition of “success.”

            • blueJade says:

              I intend to eschew the ball-sucking job, however.

            • paws4thot says:

              It’s the same all over; I’ve seen posts asking for several years experience in versions of languages/applications that have only been available (except for beta tests) for a couple of months.

              • blueJade says:

                That is fvcking nuts. What are the putative employers looking for? Time travelers? Pathological liars??
                Sure the economy is tough, and people are willing to do damn near anything for a paycheck, but I would wonder about management in a company with that sort of grasp on reality.

  12. lexan D says:

    Do you want to have a mold made of your imagination in order to make duplicate castings?

  13. Jakub Musil says:

    I took a picture of that as well :D and then I forgot to send it to you


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