Comments on: Why yes, I do look lovely today

By: Polyshot

Polyshot — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 02:56:09 +0000

“Shoeshining” does means “to flatter someone” in Cantonese slang……

By: KP

KP — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:04:11 +0000

So, THAT’S what a flattering machine looks like…

By: Meowth

Meowth — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:52:13 +0000

You don’t have a nose. You don’t even have a face! Besides, I am the top cat. You can see it on my crown.

By: Meowth

Meowth — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:50:44 +0000

Your lovely (?)?

By: Meowth

Meowth — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:49:32 +0000

I see which machine you have!

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:49:49 +0000

Not even Meowth has a nose! That makes ME the top cat!

By: Andriffic

Andriffic — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:28:26 +0000

The Chinese are always the first to invent anything! No fair!

By: blueJade

blueJade — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 03:53:35 +0000

Note the injunction for the sincere tone.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 03:21:56 +0000

A man would know that these comments are useless, because there is nothing that a man can say about a woman’s weight that will not cause trouble. “Those jeans make you look even slimmer” is bound to bring the retort, “Oh, so you didn’t think I looked slim before?” “Nothing could possibly make you look fat” would bring, “I’m asking for your help here, and you’re just giving me BS.” So whenever my wife asks any question even remotely related to weight, I develop a sudden fit of coughing or an urgent need to dash to the bathroom.

By: bluejade

bluejade — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:45:08 +0000

Exactly! And it should have said, “nothing could possibly make you look fat!” in a sincere tone.
Lousy machine!

By: la conejita

la conejita — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:20:37 +0000

It was probably designed by a man and therefore didn’t provide the correct answer to that question.

If it had been designed by a woman it would have answered:
“Wow, those jeans make you look even slimmer, have you’ve been losing weight?”

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:20:10 +0000

This machine has a foot fetish. Show it your toe-nail polish.

By: bluejade

bluejade — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:16:29 +0000

Not very high. Frankly, the machine doesn’t try very hard… I was disappointed. When I asked if those jeans made me look fat, all it said was “You look fine!”
That is scarcely flattery.

By: lexan D

lexan D — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:09:06 +0000

What is your expectation?

By: lexan D

lexan D — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:06:44 +0000

The small type at near the bottom of the machine assures you that it is -
Beyond your Expectation!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:11:21 +0000

Yes, it’s very Eurhythmic.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:13:14 +0000

I guess that I gotta stop then……

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:11:34 +0000

I have the only avatar with a nose!! HAHAHAHA!

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:08:24 +0000

*Clonk*

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:06:02 +0000

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:53:34 +0000

Not to get too theological, but I wonder how many asses Steven Tyler could kiss at once.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:01:04 +0000

Now, you know, … you can put, uh, lipstick on an a$$. It’s still an aSS.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:55:39 +0000

Someone stepped on it to get water.

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:01:03 +0000

Because, it wouldn’t be 11.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:38:40 +0000

Why didn’t they just make 10 louder?

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:32:36 +0000

It is just that little bit more when you need it.

By: blueJade

blueJade — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:02:24 +0000

Wow! none of the others go up to 11!!!

By: Doc Holliday

Doc Holliday — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:27:59 +0000

Time for a trip to Mexico!

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:18:27 +0000

No, the correct response is,

“Really? How does he smell?”

To which I reply, “Oh, just dreadful!”

*tish-BOOM!*

By: La conejita

La conejita — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:14:46 +0000

Uhh…Dr Handle, neither do you.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:09:50 +0000

Look, to put it bluntly, you are a kid. You are going to get somebody arrested if you persist with This Sort Of Thing.

By: La conejita

La conejita — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:04:41 +0000

Yes you replied to my comment, but I was gone. I unglued you before I left. Lord knows I don’t want to be thinking of you when I am out of Engrish. I am glad several states separate us.

Also, if you are going to squeeze me, you only have permission to squeeze my hand. Anything else is out of limits.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:01:16 +0000

A small mannequin wearing a Steve Tyler mask pops out and plants a big smooch right on the unsuspecting donkey. The RSPCA has in fact banned these machines as being far too frightening for the poor animals.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:00:12 +0000

Actually JohnB doesn’t seem to have any nose.

“I say I say I say, our JohnB doesn’t have a nose.”

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:59:32 +0000

I don’t care – straight, gay or undecided, I will love my lovely for what it is, just as it is.

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:57:54 +0000

The red button turns up the volume. Hold it until the green light comes on to turn it up to 11

By: blueJade

blueJade — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:14:52 +0000

Is that a Lennox machine?

By: Madness

Madness — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:44:41 +0000

I bet if you Googled it, you’d find directions for it online.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:29:30 +0000

*Squeezes her again*

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:28:47 +0000

Actually, I replied to YOUR comment, (not JohnB’s)

And anyways, I glued myself to your back before you left!

By: La conejita

La conejita — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:26:38 +0000

I am back! *turns light on, sees ShadowSplicer squeezing John*

By: Aaron Hong

Aaron Hong — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:25:30 +0000

There’s probably an apple polishing machine out there. I hate to imagine what an actual ass kissing machine might look like…

By: Mr. Frykas

Mr. Frykas — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:46:33 +0000

Lennox really needs to drop that line of appliances…

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:45:17 +0000

But you have a yellow nose! Silly B!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:42:53 +0000

So they could have called it the Brown Nose Machine.

By: Aaron Hong

Aaron Hong — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:11:39 +0000

It’s funny because flattery is sometimes called bootlicking. haw haw.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:54:39 +0000

Ohhhh! So soft! *Squeezes again*

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:48:37 +0000

It’s been more than an hour! How long am I going to wait?!
.
.
.
*Squeeze*

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:47:40 +0000

*Hands still on*
I’m still waiting for a certain someone to notice….

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:10:54 +0000

Actually, vacuum pumps are employed for that purpose.