Waist Trimmer
Trust it ! Make you Beauty Healthy
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
Imported waist-trimmers from the 99 Cent Store.
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Trust? You have to earn it.
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So you just have to trust it to make you healthy, beautiful, and thin? That’s a good deal!
Just a little off the top, please!
*gets lawnmower…….*
gets chainsaw
*gets industrial-grade fan*
Hey, am I too late?
*drives up in brush cutter*
I have the bikini wax.
Is that secks wax you’ve got on your board?
It snowed here overnight, so my board is now hard and shiny.
All a board!
*Gets on board*
.
.
.
I forgot to ask, just where is this train going?!
We’re going off the rails on a crazy train
We’re going off the rails on a crazy train
I can actually play that whole song with my guitar!
Then you’re a shredder!
Don’t shred my shiny hard board. That would hurt.
*Pulls claws out*
Here goggie goggie goggie…..
Gets safety goggles, and a mop.
Gets outta here.
*GetsLexan D to hold still*
You are next on the list. Please remain seated.
*Gives la conejita an extra space for her sentence* You missed the space between ‘Gets’ and ‘Lexan.’
And no, I will NOT remain seated!
I was in a hurry. I had to write quickly before Lexan D left. And I am not asking you to remain seated. I am asking Lexan D to.
*Sits back down*
A lipo home-kit!
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Do you have to buy the vacuum cleaner separately?
It already comes with the kit. You do have to buy a seperate “How to Make Soap at Home” kit though. You’ll be needing the extracted fat for this.
I’m not sure that I’d *want* to make soap at home – NaOH is nasty stuff. There must be something else I can do with what’s trimmed off my waist. Can it be transferred to my chest, perhaps? Can I use the vacuum cleaner on reverse cycle? is there a separate attachment I need to buy for that? Does it come with an instructional DVD? If not, there’s bound to be something on YouTube, I suppose.
The “Breast Implants at Home” Kit is a totally different product. I haven’t done it myself, so I do advice that you look for an instructional DVD. On the other hand, you are a doctor, so you would know better than me.
Do you need help with the surgery kit? I like projects!
Darn. I was hoping to get a reply at least!
Reply.
It was a frightening thought, I was typeless.
Yeah, you seem like an overly hyperactive cat. I don’t know if we could trust you with sharp instruments.
Not hyperactive, just misunderstood.
Ok, misunderstood individual that cannot be trusted with sharp instruments.
Yeah…..got that about right!
I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
I’m a science doctor, not a medical doctor. More Strangelove than House. Test tubes are much easier to deal with, they don’t scream when you prod them. Still, my aseptic technique is pretty good; a couple of incisions, whack in the attachment, stomp on the foot-switch for the vacuum cleaner, how hard could it be?
I’m sure everything will be just fine!
Carefully check the contents of the vacuum cleaner, or you could end up dusty instead of busty!
But a vacuum cleaner could come in handy if your bustier was dustier.
I never knew what kind of doctor you were. Good to know.
Just don’t forget to show us the before and after pictures.
I think most of us had figured out the “Strange” part already.
Huh?
Dr Strangelove (or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb). We can excuse your ignorance on the grounds of yoof. It’s a cinema classic. “You can’t fight in here, this is the war room!”
I haven’t seen that in years!
That was a fantastic movie. I haven’t seen it on the program guide in years, or I would definitely watch it again. I doubt I’d find it in a video store in this little town. Maybe I’ll have to break down and buy it…
You could saponify the fats and use the renderings like the did in Fight Club.
That’s why I said the “How to Make Soap at home” kit was sold separately. I was thinking of Fight Club.
SHHHHHH! Don’t talk about Fight Club!!
I wasn’t talking about Fight Club. I was talking about fit cubs!
Waist trimmer make you beauty healthy.
You beauty?
“You beauty” – more Strine! That’s the second chunk of Auslish in a week.
cool. didn’t know that.
of course I don’t think there are containers large enough to hold all the stuff I don’t know.
Well, slap mah Vegemite.
Wise guy, ay…said Moe.
Don’t say any Moe.
Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe. Moe.
Any Moe.
N. Emo.
Elmo!
I’m having moe, moe, moe, eggs, moe, moe, baked beans and moe.
The weed-whacker of beauty treatments! Trust it!
I thought that was trimming one’s, er, bikini line…
For the woman trying to find a Real Man
Real women have curves.
Like mountain highways?
In a way – if you are detected going too fast, you will be penalised, and made to pay.
What’s the fine? Hehehe…
I’ve been a bad boy Officer Handle…
I’m Dr Handle – Officer Handle is my husband. You can explain yourself to him.
(Is your husband really a police officer?!)
(I would much rather report to you anyway!!)
You want to tempt her into giving you a physical, right?
Thanks! That’s a much better idea!
Well, as a rule I don’t do this with humans, but I suppose I can manage some of the checks I do on water dragons. Are your teeth clean? No mouth abscesses? Are you shedding properly? If you’re male, how are your femoral pores? If you’re female, have you suffered any recent post-copulation injuries? Are you basking adequately? Getting enough calcium? Haven’t gone off your dead mice recently? Do you need to be probed for sex determination, or shall we just wait to see if you lay eggs? Right, we’d better squirt some worming mixture down your throat just in case…
Mammals work differently than reptiles, Dr.
Not all mammals, however.
Mmmmmm! *Licks lips* I Can Has More Worming Mixture? Tastes good!
If you like – here you go *squirt*. Gee, it’s a nice change not to have to wrestle with a hissing, biting lizard or pump a dead mouse full of medicine at worming time.
I like my mice without the medicine, thanks.
Yep. He’s an instructor at the moment, but his first love is being a road nazi. Bubble car, divvy van, stealth car, 4WD, highway patrol, last of the V8 Interceptors, he’s crashed ‘em all at some stage.
Australia, right? And zipping down highways, crashing vehicles? You’re married to Mad Max?! Cool….
Good grief, no – real Australian Tyre Biters make Mad Max look like a choir boy.
No, really, what IS the fine?
It’s just fine and dandy!
Your dandy (?) is not as fine as you think.
(?) is very fine!
Yes your (?) may look very fine to you, but it’s not as straight as you imagined. Here have this one (!) or this one (¡).
(!) (i) (I) (l) one of each!
Some folks are bi, but I never met a quad before!
Quad awesomeness!
I will take away some of your internets.
That’s fine.
Don’t forget the dandy.
I’m not really into the whole EGL / Dandy scene.
Yeah, I mean going exclusively Goth is a big commitment. You’re clever to keep the relationship open.
Hey, at least they dress well!
Yes, their clothes are just Dandy!
That is fine, as well.
But how fine IS the well?
It is a mighty fine well.
Well!
Well, well, well!
The side of the box also contains Engrish. The text is small, so it might be hard to read. So I will write it for you.
Weight comfortable and quickly
…24-46 easy to clearn Top grade.
…ack musles using natureal body.
…worn under clothing.
But what if you are not wearing clothing? Can you still use it?
You should wear it under your fur just to be safe.
I guess I better put some fur pants on then….
cat’s pajamas?
Looks like they copy pasted a nameless, generic character from a Sims 2 game.
Meh….More Sims 1. More choppy.
even the words on the side aren’t spelled right
Bizarre. I took a picture of this last month but was too lazy to post it and I haven’t been on this site in ages and this is the first thing I see. What is the universe trying to tell me?
Use your noodle?
To do what though?
Noodling, what else?
Think with your dipstick, Jimmy!
Did your grandma give you the morning off? Or is she just very, very tired?
I check for comments every 15 mins. I just work until about 5 then.
Ok, maybe more often than that…..I have a plugin that lets me know when the page has new content. Which is every few minutes….
If you are lazy in your life and don’t do something, someone else will do it for you. Life keeps going, CHOOSE to be a part of it.
I agree, except that in my experience, if you are lazy in your life and don’t do something, someone else will do it TO you.
Aw, a trip down memory lane. This was among the first Engrish I ever saw.
The expression of the model is perfect…
Yes, somewhere between vapid and expresionless.
nice site dude ….
this is valuable site….
need to digg it
My mom bought this once from the 98 cent store…LOL!