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1. when the lamp shade was move, do not let the lamp bright
2. do not put the lamp to that fall down easy
3. when do not use the lamp please pull out the mains
4. do not near to window curtain
Submitted by: StressedYeti via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Those darn lamps!! They get me every time!! *snerk*
Do not put the.
Do not put the Pickle Surprise in where???
NOOOOOEEEEZ!
Not the Pickle Surprise! =(
As I see it, do not “near to window curtain”, ’cause “the lamp shade was move”, and then you must “not let the lamp bright” – probably “pull out the mains”. Moreover, while pulling the mains close to an open window, there’s always a chance you “put the lamp to that fall down easy”.
Win.
My lamp wasn’t too bright, especially after the shade was moved.
I can’t get the print into focus with anything smaller than a 1000 watt halogen lamp. I’ve modified a Japanese Xenon arc car headlight into my bedside reading lamp.
When the lamp shade was moved, do not let the lamp bright!
too late it felled!
Whom did it fell?
Do not put the lamp to that fall down easy! Take it down, HARD!!!
I was thinking more along the lines of:
“Do not put the lamp to that fall down easy, but rage, rage against the dying of the light!”
Ah, the Dylan Thomas treatment! Yes, indeed, I think it works.
Bad lamp. Come away from the window now. You know you’re not allowed near the curtains!
Your lamp is misbehaving because you’ve been letting it illuminate itself. The advice is, do not let the lamp bright.
“5.f*ck a lamp”
You mean “F**k a sheep”?
youtube.com/watch?v=BoG18JVf15g
Please. Let’s be nice and innocent on this site. Pass the sheep lube, please. Oh, and bring me Little Debbie.
Yes, we will all be moderated!
But I don’t want to be used in moderation!
I would always use bran in moderation, otherwise the result could be dire……
As in dire rear?
Exactly.
If these are the warnings about using a lamp, could you imagine if this person wrote the directions for using something actually dangerous? It’d be longer than War & Peace.
Actually, it is a little known fact of world history that War and Peace is actually a manual for world politics that contains explicit instructions for maintaining peace and avoiding war. Unfortunately, these detailed instructions are contained near the end, which no reader has ever reached, and if they were, they have never been properly translated from Russian, since the only people who deeply understand Russian grammar are long dead, most of them while trying to make the summit of War and Peace.
nuh-uh. did too read it to the end.
.
.
.
.
Thirty years ago (maybe more, I was a young ‘un)
Well, since we still have war, obviously the translation you read was bogus. Or did you read it in the original Russian?
Well, by the end of the translation that lexan D got to, it was just “blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda” because the translators got bored.
Isn’t that coincidental, that is about all I remember of it now.
All I remember, basically, is the title.
nyet…started to but way back then I was very impatient so I switched to English.
I managed a Chekhov play or two, but then my Russian teacher forced us to read Turgenev and I came down with PTSD for reading Russian after that. (Post-Turgenev Stress Disorder, of course.)
And you just finished. This is why we don’t know the instructions. *nod nod*
Just visualize swirled peas.
(no, not pees)
Ah, but did you read the French bits in French?
I don’t recall there being any bits in French, though my recall is more than a bit hazy.
It was so looooong ago. I couldn’t say exactly, but I was either in my early teens or pre-teen.
The English version was whatever the Public Library had at the time.
There would be lots of happy pictures, though, and there was a severe shortage of those in “War and Peace.”
True. That’s what made “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch” so much fun! Loved all those snowflakes. And no two alike!
I actually liked “One day in the Life…” it’s not easy being different!
I did also, actually, but I’m fairly sure there were no happy pictures.
Aye, I pulled out the mains, Captain, but the dilithium crystals are still goin’ ta blow us ta smithereens!!
Lamps were inwented by the Russians keptin
Just…plot us…a…course…Mr.Chekhov.
There’s a message coming in, Captain,
…but it’s in a scrambled lainguage not quite like English.
- language -
Aye Captain. Warp factor 2… that way.
Ah! That explains what happened earlier.
Warp factor 2.
It might have been the other way, I think.
Switch off the mains and enjoy the Silence of the Lamps.
This job is too big for the secondaries. I’m pulling out the mains!
You’re too early for the Maine Primary.
What about New Hampshire?
New hamps? Sure!
Vermont?
Varmint!
DID SOMEONE SAY VOMIT? WITH NEW VOM-A-WAY, YOUR *THUNK!!!*
Ooooh, another fastball! Wonder where they’re coming from…
Check behind the grassy knoll.
No fair having two pitchers!
Well, it works if you have two catchers.
But then what do you do with the batter? Make pancakes?
No, waffles!
No waffling allowed.
Fine, I’ll take the pancakes.
Sorry. The pancakes are a lie!
Gah! I knew it! I’m still making waffles, no matter what you say!
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6b71020f4b/dock-ellis-the-lsd-no-no
From over heeerre…….
This is barery Engrish. I can understand it just by making a few mental detours.
That just shows you’re becoming fluent in Engrish.
Yeah, we always have to make mental corrections in order to understand what it meant to say.
We are under construction. Please detour.
I have to make mental corrections in order to understand what I mean to say!
I really didn’t mean to say that.
umm… after reading many of these posts I am starting to get strange sensation of mental vagueness settling in, srsly.
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train
yes, how did you know that could happen when visiting here?
Ozzy was getting off just as I got on.
I was actually being serious for a moment.
I’ll be ok, but for a little while I felt like I stepped through the looking glass while reading some of the things here. Very funny, though a bit odd.
Language is one of the main mechanisms of thought for most people, so when you mess around with language, you can mess around with thought.
Yes. Thank you.
I didn’t think of that.
Though I’ve known that I can have a different perspective by changing the language by which I use to think about something, I didn’t make that connection.
And no illegal substances were involved, lol.
That’s why I think taking a foreign language is a more important educational endeavor than just providing a smattering of vocabulary that might theoretically come in handy one day. When you see the world around you conceptualized differently than you normally do, you realize some of the arbitrariness of thought and become aware of alternative possibilities. As a psychotherapist, getting people to change the way they think about something is my bread and butter. I have no way of compelling people to change anything they do; but if they leave my office thinking differently than when they walked in, the odds that they will do something differently are much improved. That’s why I find this site such a release, since here I also am exposed to different ways of thinking about things. Not necessarily healthy ones, mind you, but certainly different.
And there’s nothing wrong with being different. ^-^
Ok admit it, you read the last word of his post and commented on that, right?
Actually I was simplifying it all into an old statement one hears alot when they feel bad about thinking differently then other people and are generally the ones everyone makes fun of.
But I actually only wrote the last word of it!
It gets me high, I’m here for the thrills!
Yes, indeed, there is a bit of the warping of reality perception here that I so enjoyed about getting high. I guess that explains why I’ve become such an EngrishFunny addict.
I am here for all the orgys.
Although, we haven’t had one in a while here. I remember them being done frequently. For some reason, we stopped.
Different reasons, a little of something for everyone.
WIN!
We ran out of tinfoil hats.
Then get us some more!
Must be a halogen lamp… they’re especially fire prone.
Yes, yes!
Dang, I meant to hit reply and missed.
no nearing!
Do not up and down frequently.
No up and downing AT ALL!
I actually own this lamp.
I was tempted to post pics of the instructions but didn’t think it was funny enough. Good to see someone disagreed with me there. Its cute – the fish move around on the shade in a circle.
OMG, that would be icing on the cake! Motion lamps are cool!
So are you the Stressed Yeti?
IT PUTS THE CURTAINS ON ITS SKINS!!!
Oh, excellent. English not is easy them.
Why you mock my rangwidge?
I’m glad they were able to shed some light on this situation.