IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR YOU
SWINISH INFLUENZA
1. fever
2. dry cough
3. irritacion in the eyes
4. throat pain
5. pain of head
6. pain in the aticulations
8. general uneasiness
SWINISH INFLUENZA
CAUTIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
1. Move away from people that have symptoms
2. Do not greet anybody with kiss, neither of hand
3. Do not share glasses and cutleries
4. Laundry of hand frequently with water and soap
5. Keep ventilate the house, in closed spaces
6. In case of having symptoms do not got to work, contact your phisician or nearest health center, and keep rest. Self medication is not recomended
I have just the doctor for you.
Submitted by: Laura Luce via Engrish Funny Submissions
This is an official Honduran Ministry of Health flyer that was given out to all incoming passengers at the international airport in May of 2009.
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Copy & paste this:
I suffer from general uneasiness an awful lot of the time!
This made me laugh; thanks for sharing it.
I’ve demoted my uneasiness, so now I just suffer from major uneasiness. Somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better…
I just have lowly Private Anxiety, and that’s just as bad.
I get 1 thru 8 just by reading the flyer.
The humor writer Dave Barry once wrote a really scary-sounding product warning label that ended with, “Do not use this product. Do not even read this warning.”
I’ve got pain in the aticulations
That’ll teach you to keep your ulations in the attic!
I DONT WANT TO KEEP VENTILATE THE HOUSE! VENTILATE THE HOUSE NEEDS TO BE SET FREE!! FREE WEEERRY!
Self-medication is not recommended? Why didn’t they tell me that 40 years ago?!?
Perhaps you weren’t listening… and it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
It was definitely a prerequisite for quite a few courses in those days. Besides, you couldn’t go to a concert without an oxygen tank and expect to not get high. But no, when I was young and foolish, I wasn’t teachable anyway. I was invincible and immune. Now, I know how vincible and mune I am…
LOL @ Swinish. It’s as if it’s not full Swine, but Swinish… It must be a grey area.
Patient: “So doc, do I have the swine flu?”
::doc tilts his hand back and forth, to do the classic ‘so-so’ hand gesture::
“Ehh, it’s Swinish.. I’d go put your hands in the laundry for a few days, and check your aticulations”
ROFL!!!
Maybe it means it’s Swedish swine influenza? Those swedes sure are Swinish
Don’t step on my blue Swede shoes.
My sister was bitten by a moose.
Was it a chocolate moose?
No really, moose bites can be pretty nasty you know.
Thank God I work with deranged and psychotic people, and not moose!
If you wear glasses, please don’t share them with me. You won’t be able to see without them and I can get your swinish infection that has been pouring from your eyes.
Funny, you don’t look swinish.
That’s because I am not.
Then it’s not funny.
Then don’t laugh.
I can if I want to and you can’t stop me, nyah nyah nyah! *laughs*
Ok, I suggest we stop our inner 5 year olds from writting on this blog. I am sending mine to take a nap and am now taking over the writting.
“4. Laundry of hand frequently with water and soap”
Wait, so I can’t use my washing machine anymore? How about dry cleaning? Is that still safe?
I don’t think dry-cleaning is any more dangerous for your hand than a washing machine, but dropping it off may prove to be difficult.
Swinish? Still doesn’t sound like it’s kosher.
Yes, it is a little known point in the Talmud that only the eating of rabbit is forbidden. Even when covered in strawberries.
Then u can has gravy ‘n biscuits?
Long as it’s not rabbit gravy. Shalom!
Dear Rabbit…
oops, I mean Rabbi T
I was wondering…umm…
oh never mind.
What, you never saw a yarmulke with rabbit ears before?
lol. no.
And what kind of reception do you get with those?
Mostly wedding receptions.
Covered in strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate or not covered at all(naked), it is forbidden.
Awww…..
….No naked?……..Better put some pants on……
*Puts pants on*
Can I still cover myself in chocolate?
I love chocolate, but sorry, not THAT much!
I bet you prefer a chocolate covered Little Debbie, right?
*salivates*
*Hands JohnB a box of chocolate Little Debbies*
Mmmm-mmmm!
There, now I caught the strawberries.
But I don’t know, I’ve kind of gotten used to this ugly yellow mug.
IMPOSTER! THIS MAN MUST BE HUNG! REMEMBER, IT’S THE MAN WITH THE… *looks at hastily scribbled notes* … uh…. SQUARE, YELLOW FACE!
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Don’t budge a cook by its bover.
Don’t cover a book by a judge.
This man must be hung…? Where is this data coming from?
*embarassed smile* I guess I was seen at the Hung Manshop…
Is that a mysterious smile I see? Or a chuckle?
uh-oh…
And ham. And pork. And shellfish. And ham-flavoured rabbit. And pork sausage with floppy ears. And Rabbit Kilpatrick.
Where is this place Swin?
Right next door to Sfail, but the climate is balmier.
Don’t get tachyons in your eyes! Also, if you are hanging out with Gene Simmons, don’t greet people or hands!
It’s all the fault of that girl I met in a bar.
She called me swinish and gave me a pain in the aticulations because she caught me self medicating.
I told her that it was just that my laundry of hand was on a spin cycle.
I heard that General Uneasiness got demoted.
Would his replacement be Major Ennui?
Just watch out for Corporal Punishment.
I thought it was ‘F’ for ffort.
Hey! Who farted?
Whoever it was had an accent.
Whosh here haz ans accent?
It was well aticulated.
I doan have a ackshent. I’m jusht a little under the affluence of incohol.
Don’t you mean outcohol?
Inoutcohol!
Hey, I was writing my comment and when I hit inject comment, yours appeared. I guess GMTA indeed.
GMTA?
Are we going through this again? Georgia Motors Trucking Association.
Again? Have we been through Georgia before? What do they have to do with your comment?
Yer in Georgia? Did yall git lost on yer way to Florida?
Someone must have!
No out and inning!!
BTW, Good luck on your CAT scan tomorrow.
We hope your luck!
Thanx.
Did you just say ‘We hope you are luck,’ or ‘We hope you are lucky?’
We hope your luck. Look a few items back.
either way.
I wish you luck, also.
I also hope your luck.
I’m also glad to see you got your name back. Having multiple personalities can be hazardous.
They can take over.
I’ll take Under for $200, Alex.
Some of us will be thinking of you, and I will send delicious virtual chocolate to you while you’re getting your scan so that you’re not nervous. Since I don’t know what time that will be, I will be sending it all day.
For what it’s worth (serious post here, sorry), I am a firm believer in the power of prayer and intention to remedy physical ailments; in fact, it’s a large part of what I am currently studying. My wife has recovered from heart failure to an extent that her doctor cannot understand, and I firmly believe it is all the prayer and positive vibrations I have tried to send her way. So be assured I will be sending you some as well. Though you started off as more or less a troll, you have matured and many of us here have come to like you. So if we all send positive intentions ShadowSplicer’s way, we can literally affect the outcome of the scan, in my opinion, and if there is any pathological condition, we can speed healing. So I do more than wish you luck; you shall be a target of my meditation, and I will be sending you all the positive force I can muster.
Let’s also make it clear to Shadowsplicer that we will NOT be sending our positive energy when he has to study for an exam.
This powerful gift should only be used for serious matters. I too will be sending positive energy to him. I’ll be sending it over to California, right?
Campbell CA
Keep us posted.
Inout doesn’t really matter once you are under the influence.
That’s something that some men have counted on for generations. In fact, it has led to generations! You want to, okay, what the hell, I won’t remember in the morning anyway.
If you are soooo drunk that you won’t remember the next morning, chances are that you can even get it up. You might fall asleep trying.
If you don’t remember the next morning, it may mean that there is nothing to remember. Not even my strawberries will do the trick.
Oh, believe me, I know all about that stuff. I never had a blackout until I had been drinking and drugging for fourteen years, but once I had one, I never knew when one would come on, and to this day I still don’t know everything I did or didn’t do while blacked out. But yes, I do know that heavy drinking was not at all conducive to my sexual performance, blackout or not.
But what I was actually referring to was men getting women drunk in order to “score.”
Hey la conejita, want a drink?:twisted: ………
Grrrr…
Sorry, I don’t drink. If I am getting some tonight, I better well remember it the next morning.
(If I do get some tonight, it will be from my husand. So don’t get any ideas.)
John,
Just don’t score on the Old relics.
If I were to score on anyone but Old Relics, I’d be considered a letch!
*Gets an idea*
.
.
.
Oh well…
It’s good to see that none of you are deaf.
But we’re not blind either. What happened to your face?
Yeah, I kind of liked Lexan D better when he was a happy triangle. Now he looks so blue and sad.
I can give you the name of my plastic surgeon. His name is gravatar.com
Actually, all that’s needed to change your icon is a different e-mail address. However, what face you end up with by this process is rather random.
Yes I know. Remember, I was the one that inserted a period in my email address and got asigned a random avatar.
Yes, indeed! But I didn’t know if Lexan D knew that, since we still don’t know why his face changed.
But I don’t know why I can never seem to end up with a smile!
See?
Well, there I ended up with half of one, anyway.
Just keep trying.
Wow, I used a fake email address and someone must already be using it. They have McQueen on it.
Yeah, that WAS weird.
Ahhh, I think those strawberries are changing my color.
Hehehe…. I haz a question. Where were the strawberries?!
They were on my body, and no you can’t have any.
But I mean WHERE?!
All over my body. I also had whipped cream and CHOCOLATE to keep the cats away.
*Licks la conejita clean*
Mmmmmm…..you taste good
*Pulls something out of mouth*
…….sorry!
Wow! I found a double-barrel slingshot!!!…..why were you wearing a slingshot?………….
Oh, noes! It’s contagious!
Or not.
Hey, I finally got a smile!
A multiples moment.
I see you borrowed DnT’s mouth tape.
Whut?
Maybe it was what I had for lunch?
No it did not have rabbit gravy on it! honestly.
Check the e-mail addy you have listed, dude. There’s apparently a bot that generates a unique one for each address, and changing a single character changes it.
got it
Not the swinish flu?!?
Just ask him to laundry his hands frequently. Don’t greet him with a kiss or a handshake.
Apparently kissing is fine, as long as it’s not neither of hand.
Contact your phisician.
You’re the one who said you got it!
John,
But you might be infected as well since you’ve been interacting with Lexan D. So you should probably get checked.
Nah. I believe in Bell’s theorem, but not in living in a pool of disinfectant.
What?
What’s on second.
Who?
Who’s on FIRST!
I Don’t Know…
Third Base!
I’ll contact my phisician and get him to make me a bomb atomic to slaughter the virus of the cold of pigs.
I knew physicians always thought they had god-like powers, but when did they earn the right to prescribe nuclear weapons???
And please do take a picture of the pharmacist’s face when you turn in the prescription.
I expect it might look something like this.
A Bomb Atomic – is that like a Bombe Alaska, only with a bigger sparkler on top?
Did someone say Obamatomic?
Hell’s bells, I just read that last word as “bum-o-matic”. Oh dear. It’s the sudden heat Down Here, it’s playing havoc with what passes for my brain. And the cat kept us up all night because she kept throwing up. Nobody should have to be cleaning up cat puke at 0300…
Beats the other end. I once had a cat who had gotten a leg broken by a dog, whose leg was set in a long splint by a vet. I was awakened in the middle of the night by a blood-curdling scream, worthy of the best B-horror-movie screamers of all time. I ran into the living room, fully expecting to find a person, but I found nothing but my injured cat and a puddle of diarrhea. Turns out that apparently his tail was badly sprained as well, so whenever he lifted it to poop he screamed. And he had the worst case of animal diarrhea I have ever seen. So I spent the next six hourse cleaning up after a screaming cat spewing diarrhea all over the place. Vomit would have been a picnic by comparison.
But “bum-o-matic” would be a word we could have fun with, although I am intrigued by the possibilities of the adjective, “Obamatomic.”
NOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SWINISH INFLUENZA!
Our symptom is fever, fever and dry cough, dry cough and fever. Our TWO symptoms are fever, dry cough, and irritacion in the eyes. Our THREE WEAPONS ARE fever, dry cough, irritacion in the eyes and throat pain…ARRRGGH!
I’ll come in again!
k.
WHO DOES NOT HAS A PMS????
No, I haven’t been to Postal Management School.
k.
Awaiting moderation??? AWAITING MODERATION????
I write “I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!” and it is AWAITING MODERATION????????????????
The nanny bot has finally lost the plot completely.
I’m getting the same reaction… most of my stuff is getting modded out.
I keep asking J*hn what is happening to his f*ce – first he looks like a gr@pe, then he’s back to cranky gr@pefru!t, and every time I try to ask, I get modded away.
Please wait. Your comment is awaiting moderation….
I tried to reply to Dr. Handle’s comment. Yes, I fail.
It kept kicking my comment down.
I don’t know what is going on. It’s not that I fail, but the system keeps kicking my comment down. I did click on the reply link so that I could reply to the comment.
It has not done that to me yet… What the hey! It just did that to me also!!!
I see that earlier you were licking strawberries. La conejita also had chocolate, if you are a cat you shouldn’t have any.
.
.
Seriously, chocolate is very bad for cats (and dogs, too).
That’s right, their little livers just can’t handle theobromine. Okay, now who’s going to stick their fingers down SS’s throat to make him throw up that chocolate before it poisons him?
And this is why I covered myself in chocolate to keep the cats away. It didn’t work, even Meowth brought over the poison control team so that he too could have some.
I think I will stop covering myself in things.
I will still wear clothes of course.
No it’s not!! Stop accusing me of doing things! (And I did notpoison JohnB’s Little Debbie foodstuffs that I gave to him!
We were playing face-changing games yesterday. Aw, come on, moderator, I wasn’t the only one! Today, after a heartfelt entreaty to the Almighty Garden Filter, I am back to my usual jaundiced grouchy countenance.
I thought you made a very attractive gr@pe, though.
Why, thank you, I think.
Ah, I have identified the problem – the word spelled G-R-A-P- E set off the “awaiting moderation” bot. So be warned, people, referring to the fruit of plants of the genus Vitis will be regarded as a moderatable obscenity.
My husband finds my grapes very attractive.
Hey,
I tempted the system and said that my husband finds my gr@pes very attractive and now it tells me it’s waiting moderation. It’s probably gonna be deleted soon.
Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, it changes. Kind of like life.
*I* NOT HAS A PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t think that I do…nope no PMS.
Again, ShadowSplicer, the fact that you have to say it, makes us wonder.
I’d just like to know what it is he checks to see if he’s got it.
That made me laugh. I got a mental image in head of what he’s checking.
I never even know what to check on females to see if they had it, except their facial expressions. I ask them to check their attitudes at the door, but they never do.
Ohh, I hope you are preparing yourself for your daughter’s puberty stage. Her hormones will be acting crazy and she will be hard to figure out, even for a psychologist.
She has already been baffling me for ten years.
I do have a Pantone color charts and color matching keys.
Pantone’s color charts are trademarked as PMS- Pantone Matching System. Of course you can find it by goggling it.
So, I do indeed have PMS.
and the PMS chart may be useful to the person who, a couple days ago on another post, was wondering ” what color is ass exactly?”.
You’re welcome to do it yourself, but I personally would prefer to avoid dealing with any chart with PMS.
I am getting a pain of head.
If it spreads to the aticulations, be sure to contact General Uneasiness.
I think this is one of the fastest times to reach 100 comments ever!
And we did it with the conspicuous absence of Droll not Troll. Wonder what he’s up to…
Should I find someone to fill in for him?
Shouldn’t he be asleep at this hour?
He would be I think; certainly I was.
Hey, paws. I live in Australia; don’t you live in Scotland? I think our time zone is about 10 hours ahead of yours
Why did I think you were South African, other than that we’re often on here about the same time?
Why did I think my Aunt Zelda was from Alpha Centauri and had robotic legs?
Didn’t she?
Then you knew Aunt Zelda and Uncle Br(#@!~??
JohnB, we may be related!!!
We aren’t married, are we?
No, I don’t think so. We would remember.
Not necessarily, at least in my case. My memory of the wedding to the wife that I know of is rather hazy…
I have distinct memories of a marriage to someone, but I am sure it wasn’t you. We don’t talk, remember?? So it can’t be you.
Well, my first wife and I didn’t talk for years.
My, you’ve changed! Still don’t think it was you, though!
I have changed, so if that was me, it wasn’t me.
It’s the accent – Australians are reasonably frequently mistaken for having Afrikaans accents. Can’t think why, we don’t sound the least bit Soth Efriken to each other.
It’s the way of the world. People from Kentucky and West Virginia sound largely alike to me, being from New York, but they can tell the difference. And having lived south of the Mason-Dixon line for 34 years, to a New Yorker I sound like I’m from the South, even though no Kentuckian ever thinks I’m from here.
Much to my eternal embarrassment, I cannot tell a Canadian from a Merkin by accent. I have to ask to avoid giving offence.
If they say “eh?” they are Canadian. If they are Canadian, they will say it a lot.
Just asking a Canadian if they are merkin generally offends them. The merkin, on the other hand, will merely think you are one brick sort of a load.
I think Canadians will also say the word mate a lot. But not as in mating.
No mate, that’s Australians.
That’s some load, if it’s of the brick sort.
Kiwis also say “eh” a lot, although it comes out more “ey”. So now all I have to do is learn to tell the difference between Kiwis and Canadians…
Kiwis are brown, furry, and tart when they’re not ripe.
Canadians are like merkins only more smug because they have health care and they’re not merkins.
Americans will always assume that Spanish speakers are all from Mexico. There’s quite a few Central and South Americans here. They get offended if they are called Mexicans.
I don’t think that it’s because it’s offensive to be called a Mexican, but because in a way, they are loosing their identity by being lumped into a group they don’t belong to.
Like you’re all welcome to call me British or Scotish, but if you call me English I will reach down my broadband, pull your arms off, and then beat you to death with the wet ends!
I can’t think why; you talk completely differently to Boers.
I really try to avoid talking to bores.
Boer is of Dutch origin, is pronounced “boor”, and translates into English as “farmer”. Also, if you call a white South African (particularly a male) a boer, they will think it’s a compliment, whether it is or not.
Yes, actually I did know that, although I’d be reluctant to call any English-speaking person a “boor,” at least to their face.
Aww, you missed me? I’m not getting enough time at the keyboard lately. We’re having a heatwave here this week, which I thought would give me more time on this site, but it’s actually been less.
Because we’re now on Daylight Saving Time, it’s less likely I’ll be here at the same time as most Americans. I drop by whenever I can, but often someone else has beaten me to the comment.
Of course, I’m well aware of our time and seasonal disparities (in this area, at least, I am not patently delusional), but usually at some time during the work day here you pop in, so your absence was noted. We’ve got unusually warm weather here too, but in our case it means balmy 70s (F–that’s 22-25 for you Celsians) in mid-autumn, about which I shall never complain. I am a night owl by nature forced into an early morning mode by work (I’m supposed to start at 7AM, although I rarely muddle in until 7:30), so there’s probably not one hour out of the 24 that I haven’t posted sometimes.
It’s all that coffee.
I estimate that without all the coffee I’d sleep approximately 37.4 hours per day.
Ah! Another time bender!
Yes, all of my benders were another time.
Bite my shiny metal ass 12!
You are a cat with a shiny metal ass?
All that licking ought to keep anything shiny!
Meowth, aka Robocat?
I was channeling Bender from Futurama.
What, did you think I would ride around on a weak flesh-donkey?
Or course we missed you!
In September it got so hot in the building I was in I had to turn off the computer, the fan was making a high-pitched whine, the desk surface was unpleasantly hot to touch, as was the phone.
110 F outside, hotter inside, it’s a steel building.
The bluejades on the central coast of California, and a lot of things are generally sucking.
Post anyway!
We did miss you, next time please let us know ahead of time if you will be absent. We take roll each day, if you don’t let us know that you will not be here, it will look bad on your record.
Well, gee, they miss you if you’re gone part of a day, but I’m gone three days and they had someone just “fill in.” *sniff* I’m just a cog in a great, big, faceless Engrish machine!!! *bawwww*
Ohh, no, I just had someone in fill in because we didn’t want the Engrish visitors to notice you were gone. The regulars did noticed that you weren’t here and missed you.
OKAY LISTEN UP PEOPLE. ANYONE WHO IS ABSENT WILL BE MISSED. NO EXCEPTIONS. WELL EXCEPT FOR THE TROLLS OF COURSE. ANY OF THE REGULARS SHOULD NOTIFY IF THEY WILL BE ABSENT FOR SEVERAL DAYS SO THAT WE CAN GET SOMEONE TO COVER FOR THEM.
Will those that are slightly irregular be sold at the scratch and dent sale?
No need to be insulting! I really don’t believe we have anyone regularly here who is only slightly irregular. We’re all seriously disturbed, and proud of it!
hmm, this is strangely reassuring…
I shall be on the road a good portion of the day tomorrow, so I won’t be here in the morning.
You will be missed.
Since you gave proper notice, la conejita hopefully won’t put anything bad about you into your record.
Thanks for the compliment!
You can’t tie me down like that! I come and go as I please!
Ooh, the nice kitty wants to go in/out again.
As long as I’m not up and downing. Dr. Handle would get mad if I did that.
There is a pet door for inouting. I refuse to install a hatch in the ceiling for up and downing (which is not permitted, anyway).
Where I live, pet doors are rather risky, since there are all sorts of varmints, especially opossums and raccoons, that do not follow the “If the door is closed, do not enter” rule.
That is why you use a security scanner!
It’s okay, I’ll be he has a note from mum.
On that note, I’ll be mum.
I thought you were dud.
Now who has the New Zealander accent?
No idea, but I’ll bet they’re fed up about being called Australian!
You’d be surprised how many of them want to live in Australia.
So what prevents them? Do you guys have some sort of immigration quota or something?
Our immigration policy is far too complex for the average person to understand, but there must be some kind of quota there. The population is less than 22 million, so while it may seem we have lots of room, the infrastructure to provide suitable living standards for a large influx of people isn’t there. Nor is the water, which is why most prospective immigrants wouldn’t be able to live in most of the country.
There are people who say that Australia is already overpopulated, and I think they may have a point.
I’m not sure who wants to take a nap more, me or my inner 5 year old.
*getting back to work*
WORK! WORK!
*sigh* It’s not easy being a dinosaur. Am I really the only one here who remembers Dobie Gillis and his sidekick?
oh, sorry. but it was fun to goggle that ref.
Yeah, that was a TV show that I actually watched when it was broadcast. I could sing the theme song fairly well, actually. I’m not sure of the dates, but I’m guessing ’61-’63? Dobie, a college student, had a beatnik friend named Maynard G. Krebs who showed a tic in which he would bleat, “Work!” any time someone mentioned the word. The title, I believe, was, “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.” And I swear all this is just from memory and I haven’t googled it, although now I will, just to see how closely I have the dates pegged. TV was certainly a very different medium in those days, for you folks who missed it. Lucy Ball went through an entire pregnancy and gave birth to Ricky Jr. without anyone once mentioning the word, “pregnant.” They never showed two people in the same bed on TV, and never showed a dead body, let alone the grisly forensic stuff they show now that, even though I’m fairly desensitized to the stuff, can still ruin my dinner. Now, my 10-year-old daughter watches, “Law and Order: SVU” with me, in which sex crimes are described in graphic detail, and gets annoyed if I tell her she shouldn’t watch it. She’s a fan of the rock band Hinder, and let me tell you, it’s an odd experience to hear my daughter, just beginning to show signs of puberty, singing along spirtedly in my truck to the CD, “Let’s go home, and get stoned, ’cause the secks is so much better when you’re mad at me.”
Yikes. You better start talking, like, yesterday. And get her outdoors as much as possible… it is tough to raise kids when the culture is so good at programming.
Goggle? Did you wear it while swimming?
Why yes of course, especially when swimming around teh intertubes.
Ah, a flotation device, as well!
Ok John, now that we know you are a dinosaur, I am going to check you off the list of possible fathers for Dr Handle’s baby.
I have, as I have mentioned many times previously, never cheated on my wife of 23 years, although the first couple of years of our marriage are kind of hazy because I was still an active alcoholic. So I can’t definitively rule out what might have happened in those days, but that does seem rather long as a gestation period.
If you can’t remember doing it with other women while you were drunk. Chances are that you were so drunk and wouldn’t have met the requirements for having secks.
Hey in two more years you’ll be celebrating your 25th Anniversary! Don’t forget to send an invitation.
I will show up with Engrish signs and people will look at me like I am crazy.
Yeah, if we make it two more years, and I’m still involved with you all, I will definitely send an open invitation to the party. I would love the Engrish signs, and my wife, who does actually have a good sense of humor (she’s have to, to be married to me!), but is essentially computer illiterate, would probably like them too. But hey, when people look at me like I’m crazy, I write it off as a compliment.
Twenty-three years is very good.
Happy Twenty-third Anniversary!
Thanks. Our celebration was rather dampened this year, since my wife’s cousin’s husband passed away two days before, and we were rather close with them.
If you hire me as your wedding planner, I will make sure to have Curry Egg Horse Shoe Crap on the menu along with something else containing Herpes.
For your second Honey Moon, I will send you off to Asia where you will be able to experience Engrish in the real world.
Don’t forget the pineapple!
So if I hire you as my wedding planner, do you throw in an all-expense-paid tour of 1986 as well? I think I’ve got a Members Only jacket around somewhere…
You should reverse it a year and go back to the future.
Yes, that very thought had occurred to me years ago, that if I ever did attempt to cheat on my wife during a blackout I probably didn’t get very far anyway.
*sniff, sob* And then, he gave me a pain in the aticulations *sob*
Why, the swinish cad!
In case of having symptoms do not got to work.
I have that problem all the time. My symptoms just feel like they can gold-brick and take it easy any time they want to. But me, I NEVER get a day off!
I’m glad that, at least, most of the translation got through. Naff I know.