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PLEASE DON’T OPEN IT
What is inside we don’t know. To collect your favarite items. You need to buy several boxes. Challenge it!! We hope your luck!
Submitted by: Erin, via Flickr User: gruntzooki via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Cheezburger Company Blog
Ya first, But seriously, funny.
The Kōh-i Nūr Persian/Urdu: کوہ نور, Telugu: కోహినూరు) which means “Mountain of Light” from Persian, also spelled Kohinoor, Koh-e Noor or Koh-i-Nur is a 105 carat (21.6 g) diamond that was once the largest known diamond in the world. The Kohinoor originated at Golconda in the state of Andhra Pradesh in India. It has belonged to various Mughal, Persian and British rulers who fought bitterly over it at various points in history and seized it as a spoil of war time and again. It was finally seized by the East India Company and became part of the British Crown Jewels when Queen Victoria was proclaimed Empress of India in 1877.
So sad.
Schrodinger’s party supply store. No cats were harmed in the making of this Engrish. Or were they?
Ok, We have 3 boxes. One of the boxes contains an angry LOLcat that will scratch my arms and hands. The other 2 are empty. JohnB knows which of the 3 boxes the cat is in.
I choose a box. John then opens one of the other 2 boxes to reveal that it is empty. In order to minimise my chance of badly scratched arms, should I open the box I chose originally, or the 3rd box?
Of course, as the host of this show, I should give no indication as to how you should choose, but having taught statistics and probability I understand how strange probabilistic models appear to the ordinary rational mind (not that we have any of THAT TYPE around here anyway!). So I can’t resist a hint: I am NOT Monty Hall.
As I’m not the host, I can give hints, right?
You should have stuck with what Jay had on his table.
That’s probableistic, by the way. Just splitting hairs.
You should obviously switch to the other box, it doubles your chance of a non-scratchy outcome.
Dude! You’re gonna get Cat Scratch Fever!!!
Correct, Ted (now I feel like Alex Trebec). In the infamous Monty Hall problem, you should switch because it doubles your chances of getting The Big Door. In this case, where a negative outcome is to be avoided, your chances are twice as good if you stick with your original choice. Unless you happen to like getting scratched, in which case you really must look up Ursula, the Pain Queen.
Yeah, I deliberately didn’t mention Monty Hall in posing the question.
And I thought at first that mentioning him would make it too easy, but then I realized that if someone had heard about the problem but still didn’t have a deep grasp of probability, they wouldn’t realize that the different value of the possible outcome requires an opposite strategy. So then I knew it was actually an unhelpful hint, so of course I couldn’t resist throwing it out there, being as it’s Monday morning.
Ha, I lied! *travels back in time 24 hrs to give paws4thot due notice of an upcoming attmept at manslaughter by LOLcat*
Open all the boxes, and wear protection. Have an open can of salmon ready, and an open grocery bag with a handful of catnip in it.
JohnB knows which box I am in because he put me there. Therefore, if the box you are opening does not contain a Meowth, the one he avoided surely does. Aside from reading his expression for clues, you still have a 50% chance of me being in either box. All I can do is let you know that if you let me out of the box, I will not scratch you, but if you don’t, I will tear this box apart, along with anyone who gets in my way! Let me out of this box!!!!!
I think I’ll open that box because the cat is really in the bag.
He’s really a cat mime who is in an imaginary box. He can get out any time he deems his act over.
I don’t think he realizes that this is all part of his imagination. This is why he is still screaming to let him out of the box. Poor meowth.
*takes him out of imaginary box*
Thank you!
If Shroedinger’s cat claws its way out of the box, the whole conceptual framework for quantum physics is disturbed!
I’ll tell you who I think is disturbed!
Don’t look at me! It’s Shroedinger’s box.
And it is a disturbed Shroedinger who keeps putting me in the box!
That’s what you get for disturbing Shroedinger!
He was disturbed before I even got there! Next time I’ll read the fine print before signing up for his experiments!
So how did you like being indeterminate? Did it seem interminable?
I can’t really say one way or the other.
You’re going to need more Protection than a tinfoil hat for this.
2mm Kangaroo hide, with added Kevlar?
Keep your current selection but wait 7-10 days before opening it to REALLY reduce the odds of a scratch.
Ah, but cats in an indeterminate state cannot be expected to age or die, now can they?
I’m special like that.
You’re unique. Just like everybody else.
But I’m alone in a crowd!
When I’m alone, I’m crowded.
I am Legion. We are many.
Well I don’t know if having multiple personalities is still considered a disorder.
It does seem to be the norm on teh interwebs.
Creative expression and all that.
Good thing we don’t have that kind of thing around here.
YES, JOHNB, I’M GLAD YOU SAID THAT, BECAUSE IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT WE’RE CURRENTLY RUNNING A SPECIAL ON INTEGRA-8, THAT BRAND NEW DIETARY SUPPLEMENT THAT IS GUARANTEED TO RID YOU OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES. HERE IS THE ACTUAL PSYCHIATRIST FOR THE WELL-KNOWN MULTIPLE PERSONALITY “SYBIL,” DR. CORNELIA WILBUR, TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.
Thank you, Billy, and perhaps one of these days you can teach me how to talk so d@mn loud all the time! I’m already grateful to you for offering me this wonderful career opportunity, for as you well know, there are only so many job openings for the deceased, and there’s more and more of us all the time. People are just dying to get in here, huh huh huh. But I digress. In the course of my career, I treated many, many multiple personalities. In fact, judging by the rare rate of occurrence of multiple personality in clinical samples, I treated more multiples than have ever existed on Earth! But never have I seen a product like Integra-8. And it’s a good thing, too, because if they’d have had that back in my day, I wouldn’t have had anything to do!
What if you have multiple people?
I don’t know, but I do have plenty of Tidy Cat Scoop for Multiple Cats.
Good, because I think I am a multiple cat. I drank the catnip tea made in the multiply function pot!
Just be careful with that pot. Dr Handle got pregnant by drinking out of it. Apparently it has several side effects.
Yes, it made me a multiple cat!
More tea?
I’ll need a lot of it for all of me!
Haahaa, Gachapon figurines. Those things are actually pretty easy to figure out. If you buy different ones from the same unused shipping package, you won’t buy duplicates.
If you buy different ones from any package, you won’t ever buy duplicates. You get that when you buy the SAME ones.
I fear for myself when I read Engrish stuff like this and immediately know exactly what they are trying to say, to the point that I don’t immediately see what’s funny.
Yep, because that sounds like an entertaining pastime
Here Kitty Kitty
You rang?
Obviously, any of MY favarite things could only come in genuine Sevarel boxes.
What comes in sevarel boxes besides a dismembered…. anything?
You just can’t take the “sever” out of Sevarel, but only because it wasn’t there to begin with.
I hope it has cheat shoes
Challenge It!! We hope your luck!
What are you hoping his luck does?
I’m hoping his “luck” isn’t wearing cheat shoes.
You don’t want his luck to cheat? Are you afraid it will run out on you?
No im afraid another pair of cheat shoes will run in and replace them, therefore cheating.
Im afraid another pair of cheat shoes will run in and replace, therefore cheating. cheating isnt cool.
Sorry for double post, comment didnt show first time
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
it’s been my favarite for sevarel years,I first got it at the underwater ladies isle!
i mean aisle!
You mean you haven’t actually been to the Isle of Underwater Ladies? That’s quite a trip, let me tell you.
Ahh, the good ol’ Quantum Box. Inside is your most treasured possession, however, don’t open the box. By observing what’s inside, you change what’s there.
Interesting.
That sometimes happens when observe the contents of my mind.
Wow, it even changes between the time I think it and go to post it. Shows up in my frequent typos.
There are many boxes in your mind,
But don’t ever try to look inside.
For if you ever do, you’ll find
That what’s inside, already flied.
After having to close down a business of mine, I ended storing a great many shipping boxes. When I looked at them the other day I had found that starlings had gotten in. While they had already flown away by the time I had gotten there, they left behind a lot c**p.
Well, just remember, toilet upward.
If only someone had remembered to tell that to those dang birds.
They probably were told, but just didn’t remember. Starlings are so flighty.
Yes, but they are good at multi-tasking.
Yes, who wouldn’t like to sing, sh!t, and fly at the same time?
Sounds like you’ve been on the tour plane for Guns ‘n’ Roses.
Is that where I was?!
At least they hoped us the luck!