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Body Towel
Please note the rub too much. please do not use it when abnormality is found in one and the skin to which the allergic constitution and the skin are weak.
Produced by J. Thirty Four
Submitted by: phoebz via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Cheezburger Company Blog
FR1ST
THRID
Lonestar is an American country music band founded in 1992 by Richie McDonald, John Rich, Keech Rainwater, Michael Britt and Dean Sams. The band has released eight studio albums (counting a Christmas album), one greatest hits package, and twenty-eight singles. Lonestar’s first five releases for BNA Records are all certified gold or higher by the RIAA, and their greatest hits album is certified platinum. The band’s highest-certified album is 1999′s Lonely Grill at 3× Multi-Platinum. This was also the first album not to feature Rich, who left the band in 1998 and later formed the duo Big & Rich. A ninth album, The Future, has been slated for a 2009 release but has been repeatedly delayed. This will also be the first album to feature lead singer Cody Collins, who replaced McDonald in 2007.
Lonestar has also charted twenty-eight singles on the Billboard Hot Country Songs charts. The band has also reached the lower regions of the country charts with seven Christmas songs, as well as the non-single “Somebody’s Someone”, an album cut from 2004′s Let’s Be Us Again. Nine of these twenty-eight singles have reached Number One on the Billboard country singles charts: “No News”, “Come Cryin’ to Me”, “Amazed”, “Smile”, “What About Now”, “Tell Her”, “I’m Already There”, “My Front Porch Looking In” and “Mr. Mom”. “Amazed”, the longest-lasting at eight weeks, was the Number One country song of 1999 according to the Billboard Year-End charts. It also became the first song to top the country singles charts and Billboard Hot 100 charts since Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers’ “Islands in the Stream” in 1983. All of the band’s Number One hits except “No News” have also been Top 40 hits on the Billboard Hot 100, as have “Not a Day Goes By” and “Let’s Be Us Again”, which respectively reached #3 and #4 on the country charts. Both “Amazed” and “I’m Already There” reached #2 on the Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks charts, and the former was a #21 on the UK Singles Chart. “Amazed”, “I’m Already There”, “My Front Porch Looking In” and “Mr. Mom” are all certified as gold singles by the RIAA.
Dude, you’ve finally become equally as annoying as the first trolls.
Good work!
He is our designated Wiki-poster, we all could do it, but he is the most qualified. And actually we have nerds on this site that DO enjoy his posts. Some of them provoke him on purpose.
I can’t please all of the people all of the time, and I know which of you two I’d rather please!
Disney’s Tarzan should obviously avoid using this product.
Who doesnt want to rub too much?
you never can rub too much^^
You can get a burn if you rub too much.
The towel are willing but the skin are weak.
might i suggest body oil
Oh, I love those towels. They get you so squeaky clean, and they’re long enough that you can scrub your back without twisting your arms. Need to get more…
I want my Korean bath sheet.
Even if the only thing abnormal is your brain? (uuuuuuuhhhhh…. Puttin on the Riiiiiiiitz!)
Warning: Too much rubbing could make your Peter Boyle.
That sometimes happens to people whose Genes are Wilder.
Define abnormality.
Anything with a probability factor ≠ 1:1, according to Douglas Adams.
The probability of positive normalcy is never 1:1 according to Murphy.
I don’t even rate the probability that I exist at 1:1! I do rate the probability of normalcy as absolute zero, however.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Just don’t look for any abnormalities. It says not to use when abnormality is found, so if you don’t find any, you’re safe.
i.e., it can be there, and as long as I don’t recognize it as such, it’s cool?
That seems to be most people’s idea, anyway.
So with grease, and a Jedi mind-set, I’m good to go! Excellent!
These are not the abnormalities you’re looking for.
How do you know what abnormalities I’m looking for? I happen to like my abnormalities pretty darn abnormal!
I happen to be an old fashion kind of gal. I like my abnormalities to be normal.
I’m not old-fashioned, and I’m not a gal. I like my abnormalities to live down to my expectationsl
this is why you grease up first.
Sometimes I can almost feel my brain trying to turn sideways in my skull when I read these.
This is one of those times.
Yes, those run-on sentences get me every time.
yes, the optic nerves tearing on the corners of my orbital sockets…
actually, you are supposed to cross your legs and then turn sideways.
then you can get an a** massaj.
The allergic constitution?what will they think of next!
We the runny-nosed, in order to pursue life, liberty, and dryer sinuses…
Isn’t that what Hamlet does?
He notes the rub to much…
He goes on and on about it… oO
“To sleep, perchance to dream;
Aye, there’s the rub…
Perchance to bathe once more
And to rub the found abnormality
Like a mischievous rogue!”
One does not believe one has found any ‘abnormality’ about one’s person, one prefers to refer to one’s ‘eccentricity’ or ‘endearing traits’, or possibly even one’s ‘novel attributes’. No, one does not think of oneself as having ‘abnormality’. One is not amused.
“Abnormality” is for the insecure. Body Towel is not. Body towel is not for the allergic or weak. Body Towel–for when too much is never enough.
When the going gets tough, the tough get towelling.