Comments on: Mmmm. Smells like Old Spice and sweat

By: Cal

Cal — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:14:14 +0000

Mmm… delicious!!

By: Dynamite the Basement Cat

Dynamite the Basement Cat — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:53:18 +0000

Will it grow hair on your chest?

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:08:29 +0000

Because it saw the salad dressing.

That joke has wrinkles on its wrinkles.

By: bluejade

bluejade — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:13:28 +0000

Another fan of chickweed? Cool!

By: bluejade

bluejade — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:10:10 +0000

Ok, I’ll bite. Why?

By: Pipboy2009

Pipboy2009 — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:20:05 +0000

Taste the root, best with creamy sauce^^

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:55:16 +0000

A little chick weed in the salad? Not a problem!

By: jjmblue7

jjmblue7 — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:21:04 +0000

And the dressing smells like freshly mowed grass.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 04:07:35 +0000

If a chick pees in your salad, it would be kinder to NOT let you eat it…

By: lexan D

lexan D — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:37:03 +0000

thank you. you are so kind.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:08:24 +0000

Lettuce eat peas in our salad, even.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:07:57 +0000

Well, obviously, that’s where the company pays you to take its merchandise away.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:07:00 +0000

The prosecution rests, Your Honour.

By: la conejita

la conejita — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 20:27:01 +0000

Don’t worry, it happens to most of us. We usually have to read twice because you can never trust your first impression.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 12:36:53 +0000

Ask them where they got the antimatter.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:44:26 +0000

Lettus eat our salad in peace!

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:43:22 +0000

My firstness is now reduced by 104%!
AND I am using correct punctuation and capitalization.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:41:09 +0000

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:30:03 +0000

I especially love it when they claim to have reduced something by more than 100%!

By: eman

eman — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:39:21 +0000

Old Spice and Sweat….cracked me up!

By: Popeye

Popeye — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:25:28 +0000

When it is all I can stands an I can’t stands no more, a canned spinach salad boosts me strenth an vitaliky. Iffn’s you hear Olive Oil screaming oh, oh, oooooh aaaooooowhooo Popeye, comes back later.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:32:17 +0000

It’s a fowl-tasting salad.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 12:30:26 +0000

I usually advise anyone who will listen, to learn to work percentages in their head. There must be dozens of scams I’ve avoided, and hundreds of mistakes I haven’t made, because I worked out the relative percentages of a deal and realised it just didn’t make sense.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:25:14 +0000

This is not a masculine salad – salad that a man will readily eat has NO salad greens in it. It consists of cheese, onion, and lots of crunchy fried noodles, maybe some cashew nuts. Basically, if a rabbit would eat it, men would prefer not to.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:22:12 +0000

Ah, multiple exclamation points -a wise man named Pratchett has pointed out that it’s a sure sign of mental illness.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:21:12 +0000

Why did the mayonnaise blush?

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:43:07 +0000

I caught the ref. I doubt many others did, though. Perhaps I’m wrong.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:41:14 +0000

Over your outburst of exclamation points.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:38:47 +0000

No doubt this person had also learned that in the fourth grade, but many people exercise the option of avoiding working with numbers whenever possible, especially ones that are “hard,” like fractions, or ones that really are hard, like imaginary numbers. My wife had two years of college, but I can guarantee she can’t tell you what half of 1/3 is. By the time people get to college, they expect to be given a formula for everything, not to actually have to think in numbers.

By: Mark. Gooley

Mark. Gooley — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:10:32 +0000

Yeah, but it’s still funny. Now do I spend $3 on a chopstick case made in Korea with some mild Engrish on it?

By: lexan D

lexan D — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:43:42 +0000

I had read it as .20.

On the second glance, using a different pair of glasses, I was able to see my error.

By: Kittymama

Kittymama — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:35:54 +0000

A short-lived, entirely English-speaking cafe in the middle of a large American city had mescaline salad listed on the menu. After supper, I called my server’s attention to the error (they’d meant mesclun) so they could perhaps avoid embarrassment before the next printing. “Huh,” she said. “The lady who edited our menu is sitting right over there.” “Mmmm,” I murmured, and slunk away.

By: notolaf

notolaf — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:38:00 +0000

By the way, it’s mesclun. And I’m thinking this is not so much an Engrish, as an Ainglish, ya’ll.

By: la conejita

la conejita — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:04:32 +0000

John,

You should have paired them up with a nine-year-old tutor in the 4th grade. If I remember correctly, that’s where I learned that 4/6 is the same as 2/3.

By: la conejita

la conejita — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:02:43 +0000

I am friends with the mods. They do like me, but I’ll put in a good word for you.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:49:05 +0000

over what?

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:22:57 +0000

Well, okay, since nobody else jumped right in, I’ll take one of them. That’s the dressing.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:21:34 +0000

“Not quite” is, although not literally so, generally taken to indicate slightly short of, not mererly inexactly. If I say, “He’s not quite six feet tall,” you’d think he’s probably 5’11″, not 6’1″.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:18:57 +0000

She appears under two different avatars. We can tell it’s still her, since she’s intelligent and funny regardless of what color her face is. She doesn’t do any trollish things. Get over it.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:03:02 +0000

5!
5 dollar,
5 dollar footlong!
(any footlong!)

By: KinkyTom

KinkyTom — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:57:16 +0000

make it a foot long for 5 dollars

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:22:59 +0000

And a whole cucumber.

By: T

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:53:08 +0000

He did say that it wasn’t quite a quarter of a pound and he was right, more or less.

By: ShadowSplicer

ShadowSplicer — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:25:21 +0000

you are not bluejade!!! imposter!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:16:51 +0000

I can think of three or four different ways to go with this, but I can’t take them all! So many jokes, so few boxes…

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:13:42 +0000

As I’ve mentioned before, I had occasion to teach statistics to graduate students. Graduate students had, of course, already graduated from college, and were pursuing masters or doctorates. I once worked something out on the board, and it came to 4/6, so I immediately changed that to 2/3. An earnest hand went up, a middle-aged lady, schoolteacher by profession, asked what the formula was for that. I didn’t know what to say.

By: mew2

mew2 — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:09:31 +0000

So…those aren’t chickpeas?

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:09:13 +0000

They seem to be the only ones!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:07:32 +0000

I once actually did have a mescaline salad! I was taking a friend on his first journey into psychospace, and we decided to fortify ourselves with a little tuna salad as we launched, and we just opened the capsules and poured the powder into our tuna salad. It turned out to be particularly potent stuff, so we had just finished and cleaned up the mess when he began to get rather freaked out. Bad trips really are as bad as they’re cracked up to be, if not worse, since in that distorted time frame they seem to go on eternally. He finally settled down and enjoyed the ride, but it was touch and go there for a while.

But I’m sure if this were a mescaline salad, it would be pricier, since we paid more than that, and that was back in 1972.

By: Htom Sirveaux

Htom Sirveaux — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:01:52 +0000

That would make for a Yaqui-tasting salad….