We ve got meatballs
We have steak
We have shish
KEBAB
Hisko
Soup kind of there our soup are wery delicius
Submitted by: Brian T via Engrish Funny Submissions
Outskirts of Bursa, Turkey
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Wiwacious wictuals to wanquish on my wacation
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* First Emperor of Ancient China: Qin Shi Huang (ca. 221 BC)
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um…ok
whats that for?
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is everybody crazy?!
Zubitatively.
!@)#((%*%% #)#@##${}#}{#@$”$:%:”%%$?>%?#$%:$”:$% $
#@)%$#_@)_$#)5
_#$@%!
NO. I think it’s just you.
TO SHADOWSPLICER,
I guess we never really gave you the proper welcome here at Engrish. Let me explain something. There are two types of people here, trolls and Engrishers. Right now, you are a troll.
You can decide to stop being a troll by,
* Stop saying first, second, or any other number. Stop posting Wiki-info when you are first.
*Stop stealing people’s identity
*Stop being mean to other people
*Stop posting rude comments.
*Be intelligent and funny
*Post witty comments
If you take the following steps, you can become an Engrisher like the rest of us. If you decide to keep doing what you are doing, then you are a TROLL and therefore, we can treat you like one.
I never got the proper welcome and yet i still abide by these rules aside from the rare first.
What? Oh, that was remiss of the welcoming committee. I think that in order to make it up to you, I should perform the Dance Of Welcome. Music, please! *dances for Lawlin’*
How come I never got a dance?
none of us really did we more or less showed up!
Yah…ok
I never gave you guys MY welcome!
*farts*
Hooray!
wery, WERY delicius!
Mr. Chekov wrote the lunch menu for the Enterprise today.
But he von’t be eating any. He had too much wodka last night. It’s making him womit.
Makes life difficult when you’re wandering around 20th century America looking for nuclear wessels.
And Commander Hisko for the Cefiant.
DS9 ref WIN! That particular incarnation held a particular appeal to me, with its mystical themes. And I loved Commander (and later Captain) Cisko, whom I thought to be a wonderful combination of courage, intellect, and hardened steel backbone.
Naaaaah, you just like him because he played baseball.
That didn’t hurt, that he had a profound respect for the classic game. But really, what I admired most was his willingness to listen to his crazy mystical insights, openly.
He might’ve been the Emissary, but we never did find out exactly what he was supposed to emit.
We have shish!
The soup’s just kind of there, but they are wery delicious!
Kebab!
Delicius Davesoup!
Kind of…
You should see a doctor.
But I see Dr. Handle every day!
Sheesh.
Kebaab!
I feel very uncomfortable with a clone running around in a bad photocopy of my skin…
I meant to say a troll running around in a bad photocopy of my skin, but whatever…
skldjfl;shajk;fh ;sjadfwdrs
yeah, the quality could be better…
And now it has stolen my name, as well. Maybe it will go away if I ignore it?
A level of nuisance is being approached where it would not seem to me to be inappropriate for moderators to take action, IMO. But I don’t know how one would even approach them, or whether a ban would be enforceable.
They could ban his E-Mail address. That would solve the picture problem.
Oh, and they obviously read the comments. That would be how they always fix the title and caption errors when they are pointed out here.
True, they do apparently read the posts.
I can’t help but feel I gave it the idea when I joked about stealing its name yesterday, though. I guess we all make mistakes when trying to be funny. I had begun to think that it may not have been a troll after all, what with several seemingly intelligent posts. I daresay I’ll try not to make that mistake again.
you never told me to stop using other people’s pictures, or else i would have stopped!
I’ll change the picture back. :>)
i be a nice kitty from now on.
Thank you. I will not have to report you to the Cheezburger now.
report me?
i wasn’t being that bad!
Yes, you were. But you aren’t now, so don’t worry about it. Oh, and don’t do it again.
Unless, of course, he has more than one account. Or if he has only one, he could obviously get another.
Yes, but I didn’t want to tell it that! Now everyone knows! Why must you give the trolls information they probably would not think of on their own?
Poor Meowth,
I can tell you are getting tired of it. I had a stalking troll which I hated, but he was a zombie troll. No brain, just babbling words. My sympathies.
Well, if it’s any consolation he was focused on me yesterday, so hopefully the current state of affairs won’t last for long.
And if it’s any consolation, he ate my face.
True! How quickly we forget…
It healed nicely. I don’t even see any scarring.
That wasn’t my intention, but I certainly didn’t think I was telling him something he didn’t know. Anyone clever enough to download a screen pic to use as an impostor avatar would surely have realized that he could open another e-mail account.
You give the trolls too much credit. Besides, maybe it knew, maybe it didn’t. Now it definitely does, as do all of the others, assuming they can read.
That’s a big assumption. Most of them seem to read only bits and pieces at most. But I’ll concede it was my bad. I have always had a tendency to assume that certain things are general knowledge, when they may not be. Common sense is actually not all that common.
Common sense is anything but common.
Being annoying makes a troll click, so whether you give them the data or not, they are motivated to find it. Motivation trumps everything else, and it’s a game to them.
Any response at all tends to reinforce more interest, so us chatting provides positive feed-back. However, what we say may modify behavior. It wants interaction, and if losing interaction seems possible, it may try harder to be fit in.
If all else fails, it does seem to have a short attention span and is easily distracted.
Keep your shinies at the ready, then!
actually, i did know all of that.
and i didn’t mean to get on anyone’s nerves. sorry interweb peoples.
I forgive you. Just don’t do it again.
I think we have an intelligent, young ADHD male here with good computer skills and zip for social graces. I don’t think he is mean, I think he’s just lame. He doesn’t understand that there are real people on the internet behind the avatars, and that they should be treated with respect and consideration.
I agree. Pretending to be another blogger for a little while is on the line, IMO, on humor site, provided that the truth is soon revealed or made obvious. But when you steal avatars, that to me is well over the line, because it causes people to be uncertain of who they are really talking to. For better or for worse, I have a persona on this site that actually bears a strong resemblance to the person I really am (although I have always been far more articulate in print than in speech). I don’t mind the put downs, if they’re done in the spirit of fun; heck, I put myself down all the time, which I can do because underneath I really do have a fairly good self-concept. If I make people uncomfortable, as I sometimes do, that’s the breaks, because I yam what I yam. But someone else messing with my persona is not at all welcome.
It looks like there is hope for that one yet!
Could be. Any online group of any kind is, in some ways, like any other social gathering. It may take us a while to learn how to fit in, to whatever extent we wish to fit in.
As long as it is not intentionally at the expense of another member, it is all good.
At the bottom of the page, below all the comments, is a “Contact Us” link. It says it’s for advertising on this site, but when you click on it, it really is a feedback form. My experience has always been that the cheezes are very attentive to icanhascheezburger complaints (inappropriate links, offensive posts, trolling), often attending to them immediately. I trust that the “licensed Asian American” who runs this site is also equally wery kind.
Yes, probably. The troll hasn’t been here since this morning, as far as I can see, so I’ll wait. I did know about the Contact Us link, but I have been busy today, which is why I wasn’t here as much. More work = good, though, right?
Same here. I’ve been swamped with work. Wait, let me rephrase that. I have been busy at work. So I have only been able to check in from time to time, but can’t really participate in much.
Meetings, meetings, I hate how much of my life is wasted in meetings, meetings, meetings. I once sent out a memo at a place I worked proposing a “Meeting Reduction Committee” that would meet daily to find ways of reducing the number of meetings we had.
meetings – what managers do instead of actual work.
Some meetings can be informative, though.
Their soup is very kind.
No, it’s very kind of. What kind it is of, they don’t say.
Kind of there… Like… Yeah… It’s kind of there…But not quite…
Kind of where? If they say “it’s there”, does that mean it’s here? If it was there, they would say it’s here…They can’t be all there.
is the soup is as comfy and carefree as a sofa?i bet it is wery kind!
Somehow I don’t have a lot of confidence in “soup kind of there.”
When you’re sure it’s REALLY there, let me know. I might reconsider.
It’s Schrodinger’s soup, served in a sealed box.
I am in an indeterminate state as to whether I would consume such a soup.
But as soon as you open the box, it becomes clear one way or the other.
But does the field collapse or the universe bifurcate? That is the question. Logically speaking, the many-worlds interpretation gets past a lot of the difficulties of the Copenhagen interpretation, but the thought of all those billions and billions of parallel universes diverging every second makes me dizzy.
Every possibility branches off into its own timestream. I know this because I have inadvertantly crossed them before, and I have been there when others have, as well. I believe we all do it occasionally, but it is usually too small for most people to notice, or they think it’s just their imagination. Like when a movie you have seen so many times that you have it memorized suddenly has a new verse in one of the songs that was not there, and you are watching the same tape you have for years. It happened to a friend when we were in high school. We were watching Labyrinth. I had only seen it once before, but she shouted out that the song had never gone into that verse before. Similar things happen to me all the time, where a well established past is preempted for a new and unfamiliar one.
Glitch in the Matrix.
Perhaps.
I believe I have knowledge of several parallel universes not too far off from the one I’m in, but with some significant differences, and that’s where I think these ideas come from. Rather than my having actually slipped into a different time stream, I think probably we visit some of the other universes from time to time and we get the feeling THAT’S how it should have gone. I know I visit some of the parallels in dreams, the ones I call “epic dreams,” because they seem to have included years and years of time. But just the idea of how many universes are being generated in every second of every day makes my head spin! I don’t have a good logical argument against it, and my intuition tells me it’s true. But it absolutely blows my mind to contemplate. This one universe is SO much vaster than we realized in the past–an average galaxy has maybe 100 billion stars, and there are perhaps 100 billion galaxies that we can see. And yet every day this universe gives birth to literally billions, maybe trillions, of more universes. What can you say besides, “WOW!!!”
I can say, dude, wtf?
Sorry, I wax metaphysically mystical from time to time (actually, much of the time!). It can happen because my mind goes off on its own; because the spirit moves me; or because I’m tired, and my normal executive function breaks down and I start saying whatever I’m thinking. Right now, I think I’ve got all three going!
Wax on! Wax off!
As long as you don’t wane, I can’t complain.
Every measurable instant splits off into a near infinite, if not actually infinite, number of possibilities. Can you call them parallel universes? maybe, but they all came from the same source.
Clear soup? I prefer bisque myself
I prefer clear soup to fuzzy soup.
If it’s gone fuzzy, it is definitely time to throw it out!
Exactly my point.
Sounds like you’d like my home-made lentil.
The recipe starts “cook a boiling ham”, and the result is thick enough that you can stand a spoon up in it!
“Sounds…lentil soup…”
It is chilly and rainy. I am chilly so I made a big slow cooker of home made chili and beans.
Bean there, done that
And what, I wonder is *HISKO* ? And why does it need to be set apart with two asterisks? Did it, like, break the major league home run record, but while on steroids and playing with a doctored bat?
They seem to be fresh out of asterisk, but you can still see the place where they usually keep it.
asterisk. I meant apostrophe. That’s it, I’m too tired. I’m going to bed now.I”””ve got plenty. Couldn”””””t I lend them some?
Could I have some T?
It’s already in your meowth.
Ah! Hank you! Hat was good!
And I had one lef. I pu i back in my name.
They keep it in the hisco?
If the soup is kind of there, may I have my salad first?
The salad, unfortunately, is kind of not there.
your kind is not allowed here!
I try to bring my kind wherever I go, but if you want my unkind instead, that’s an option.
shadowsplicer,can i bring gyoza?or is there a no dumpling rule.
Of all the things in life so dreary,
Nothing beats a soup that’s weary.
Maybe you have to read top to bottom? Soup of our are kind there wery delicious?
Maybe it’s just a little word salad to go with the soup.
If it has ginger dressing, I’ll eat it.
I’d rather see Ginger undressing.
Whilst dancing backwards?
How do you dance backwards? Reverse the beat?
Watch Ginger Rogers. She does everything Fred Astaire does, only backwards, while wearing heels.
I see.
Yes, that was a famous (and spot on) quote, but who said it?
Texas Treasurer (and Governor) Ann Richards used it at a Democratic Convention and thinks she got it from Linda Ellerbee. The earliest confirmed sighting is in a Frank and Ernest comic strip by Bob Thaves in 1982.
You’re good!
So are Frank and Ernest!
Hopefully not when going to the toilet
That might be an interesting feat.
According to quantum physicists, any soup, at any given time is only ‘kind of there’
. It seems to me like the were able to manifest the meatballs and steak and shish kebab, but have some trouble with liquids…
It works for me, as I don’t *really* like soups: if it’s wery delicius I might *kind of* want it.
Another happy customer ^__^ (Or was is ‘costumer’ ?)
Nonono… Soup is only kind of there when it has infinite impulse. Otherwise it could be everywhere!
Soup is always has an infinite diffuse impulse from Brownian motion. If you serve it to a small child it will be everywhere.
But it can only be everywhere if it’S Impulse is close to zero…
No, Is wasn’t a costumer. Is was the store clerk.
You are absolutely right. When you get down to the nitty gritty of what a fundamental “particle” is, our concept of little solid things, however tiny, is just nonexistent. There’s no “there” there. A “particle” is a tendency for certain kinds of interactions to take place in a location that is constantly shifting, and may go from one place to another without passing through any space in between. And what is a particle made of? It’s made of space, literally. The Buddhists had it right thousands of years ago. Vast emptiness.
Quantum zen
Precisely! Once I finish my doctorate, I hope to write a book on precisely that theme, how the mystics and the scientists have now reached a vast common ground. I hope to make it comprehensible to people who have neither a strong background in science nor a broad knowledge of spirituality. Perhaps…
You could easily fill a book with no words to symbolize the vast emptiness.
And that would be very Zen, actually. But it probably wouldn’t sell much.
Or it would sell to those who want to read a long book in under a second.
I had some soup that was kind of there too.
Shish
kebab
He wanks as high as any in Wome!
Weally?? Whoa!
I think someone shouldnt have hired elmer fudd to advertise o.O
OMG! Get out of my head!!!
Why did they have Elmer Fudd write the menu here?
Tweety was n/a…
Sylvester’s slobbering spitting speech impediment and possible parasites got him banned from the building by the health inspector. That is why they hung the “If door does not open do not enter” sign on the automatic door controller.
who the heck keeps on takin photos in turkey!!! armut dersem çık elma dersem çıkma!!! ARMUT!! XDXD ciddiim “Kimsin Sen???”.
GIVE! ME! KEBAB! ŞİMDİ!!!
Hahaha! Almost all the lines are wrong! How could they attract customers if they are like that! Hehehe
Damn it I love my country. XD
The whole place is filled with ridiculous grammar with both Turkish and foreign languages.
We want pics! We want pics!
H-I-S-K-O that’s the way we HISKO!