Internet STD
Submitted by: T. Smith via Engrish Funny Submissions
A sign on an internet cafe near Jalan Petllaing in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
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explains the itch on my palm
I don’t believe this is an engrish, std means standard, possibly this place has standard internet, or standard prices.
Sorry for being a downer
Could also be part of a German advertisment: “Std” is a standard abbreviation for “Stunde”, “hour”; could have been something like “2 € / STD” before being cropped, for example.
However, agree that it doesn’t look Engrish…
Why would you have German adverts in Malaysia?
In India, too, you see STD signs everywhere. Indians who go to the US for the first time are often forewarned by other Indians that if they want to call home they shouldn’t go asking where they can get STD.
.
What Americans call STD, Indians call VD.
We Americans used to call it that tooand not too long ago. I think the change was made to increase public understanding of the nature of these illnesses, but I don’t know for sure. They make lots of changes in terminology for no ostensible reason. Back in the late ’80s “Down’s syndrome” was largely changed to “Down syndrome.” What makes that better, I have no idea.
American’s used to call that “tooand”. I didn’t know that. Goes to show how much you can learn here at Engrish.
Hey, if you can do it to me, I should be able to do it to you. I just wanted to say that for a native speaker, your English is amazing.
Yes, the intense scrutiny of posts is universal, as I said, and I can take it just as well as I give it. But yeah, you surely never wanted to get a case of tooand. An occasional six-pack wasn’t so bad, though.
Oh. The picture has its origin explained. And off I go to the Failblog…
STD stands for Standard Trunk Call. It just means the place has internet and long distance calls. So yeah, its not an engrish.
Subscriber Trunk Dialling actually, but either way it’s a perfectly reasopnable thing to advertise having.
but for people who don’t know that………..
Didn’t you know you’re not allowed to post here unless you know EVERYTHING???
Posting here is even harder than going to college. You are actually supposed to know things here.
And even thought you think it’s just casual writing. People will actually point out your typos, gramatical errors, and such.
I think I am supposed to recieve a report card at the end of the semester, right?
receive, sorry.
Oh, and one of the missing “t’s” appeared at the end of your “even though.” What can I say, I have an editor’s eye!
Hey, JohnB, there’s an editor on the phone – he says he wants his eye back.
If that filter is in action, he’s probably looking for his E. And I can’t accomodate him, since I don’t do drugs any more.
Eye before E except after See!
Grammatical errors, my dear rabbit.
See what I mean?
But again, for an ESL person, your English is splendid, and you seem to pick up my obscure references and oblique meanings, which many native speakers obviously don’t. So to use an idiom I’m sure you’re familiar with, you’re one sharp cookie!
You’re just saying that to make me feel less of an idiot.
But you know, even in Spanish, I have the ability to pick up on what we call “double-meaning” which is when you are saying something, but there’s a hidden meaning to it as well.
Not many latino women, have this gift. And men can talk in double-meaning, and women will be clueless as to what they are saying. Friends of my husband will do it in front of me and then are amazed when I respond to them and know exactly what they were saying.
It’s like when you guys were talking about a whopper and mayo. I know what you are actually saying, when other people think you’re talking about hamburgers.
John and I only communicate through this forum, and I assure you he’s not the only person who thinks your English is impressive for a native speaker, never mind as a second language.
I actually know know a Chilean girl who went to the “Scottish School” and doesn’t speak English as well as you do.
laconejita, you’re better than you think you are. I guessed from some of your early posts, and your tag, that English was not your first language, but your grasp of our humour really amazes me. Especially if you’re only 26!
Thank you all,
But please, I don’t want special treatment. Treat me like any of you. If I make mistakes I deserve to be laughed at as much as you.
I came to this country when I was 8yrs old. So, the earlier you learn the language, the better.
I’m an equal opportunity leg-puller (regardless of sex, nationality, ethnic origin…) when it comes to typos and the like, but with posters like “Dreadful Spelling Sprite” around people tend to proof-read carefully!
Just picking up on a detail from laconejita (Oct 7 @ 02:58), in UK English we’d call a double meaning like you indicate a “double entendre”, which is actually French and translates back into English as something like “heard twice”, but you know exactly what one of those is!
In context, and as an example (since I wouldn’t knowingly have sechs with a married woman without her husband’s agreement as well as hers), if I said “I’d give you one” I could mean that I’d illustrate with an example, or that I’d like to have sechs with you.
I think I was ok without the example. But thanks.
I highly doubt that such a misogynistic statement is accurate. I find that women have no trouble speaking and understanding just as well as a man. Oh, and the whopper stuff wasn’t exactly hidden. It was made perfectly clear what was being discussed.
It may be cultural, though, or it may have to do with brain function. In general (and there are, of course, exceptions), women’s brains function together as a whole, whereas the two hemispheres in men are more specialized. That is why, in general, women are usually better at picking up on emotional cues, such as how facial expressions indicate certain feelings. The flip side is that the right hemisphere in men, functioning better on its own, is generally able to decipher things like maps better than women. So if men tend to have two hemispheres functioning more independently, they may have more capacity (again, in general) to be interpreting things with two different meanings simultaneously.
Having said that, I cannot rule out cultural factors. I can also say for sure that education and experience has a strong effect as well. The women I can think of, off the top of my head, who were very good at double and triple entendres were all therapists. Psychotherapists are more or less trained to think of every communication in terms of multiple levels. and anyone who is good at it will have to be able to keep track of several levels of meaning at once. In my own case, when I took a course in hypnotherapy I learned a great deal about all the potential levels present in a single communication, and while hypnosis is not something I usually do, the technique of tracking metacommunication and meta-metacommunication is something that I learned to do all the time.
It does indeed help, Laconejita, that you came here at age 8. Really, children should start learning languages at age five or six, or even earlier, because that time is a critical period at which thinking in another language can be acquired. By the time people in the US take a foreign language–usually high school–they basically have to translate everything in their heads from then on to extract any meaning, and then basically compose a response in English and translate it back. I had the opportunity to take a foreign language starting at age 12, and even that, I think, is better than waiting until high school. But I’m very serious that foreign languages should be taught starting in kindergarten, because solid research shows that at that age, kids absorb languages like a sponge, and kids from bilingual homes do just as well at tests in English as kids from English-only homes.
Professor John has now concluded his lecture for today!
Of course, sad to say, I also know quite a few psychotherapists who really aren’t any good at tracking even one level of communication at a time!
I have some communication to level with you:
The hallucination’s motto – “You think, therefore I am.”
Much of the world we think we live in is created by ourselves. The kingdom of heaven is a state of mind that we can create in the present tense.
John,
I think I was hypnotized during your lecture. I hope we don’t have to turn in a written report.
Meowth,
I am not saying that only men can understand it. I just mean that some women don’t get it.
It might be a cultural thing, like John said. I am not saying this applies to all women in the world. The example about the whopper, was very obvious, but you have to admit some people may still think the conversation was about hamburgers.
Oh, okay. That is better, I guess.
And even thought you think? I think you think, too.
I went to college for 5,327 years, and yet this blog fills in gaps in my knowledge every day. And it’s fun! Perhaps this is what higher education should really be like…
I hop you got a scholarship…
Actually, it was only 25 years, in this lifetime anyway, but if you count my current online studies we can make that 27 years and counting. Oh, I had scholarships, fellowships, assistantships, and worked as an instructor, tutor, research assistant, and ghost writer of dissertations (which leads to the delicious irony that I wrote other people’s dissertations but never wrote my own!), but still ended up with a pile of student loan debt. That’s the problem with being a professional student–it’s hard to make a living at it!
In that case, what the hell are we all doing here?
Having fun, laughing, learning, and celebrating the absurdity of human communication. My employer might beg to differ, but this is the very apotheosis of “wasting time.”
Standard Trunk call is STC… so the real one is Schmexually Transmitted Crap-in-your-body? I dont know… but a kind of fail there… sorry for pointing it out…
Standard Trunk Call – Long distant call. You will see this sign all over the world, especially in south Asia.
well,it could be a follow up to:STOP STD!wich would make more sense.
i guess theyre realy wantig us to use protection…;)
I don’t care what kind of condiments you put on it, I’m not going to eat an STD!wich.
Not even if it’s made with semen bread!
Especially not if it’s made with semen bread!
Unless your anti-virus software is up to date, you can catch this from infected p0rn sites.
Except for the mental aspect. Heh.
AVG’s newest version now comes with HPV injections!
Make sure there’s a safe-skin over the keyboard, and you won’t have this problem.
This isn’t engrish at all. “STD” and “PTO” booths are phone booths in India. STD refers to the type of phone service. This is just an internet and phone booth sign.
no, you’re just a internet and phone booth sign!
GET OUT OF MY SKIN!!!!!
I have a feeling we’ll be hearing from Dr. Handle about how she always told everyone to use protection.
Put on your tin foil hats.
Well, at least someone was paying attention. Although it’s what we should expect from a cat, they have the most well-developed sense of self-preservation of any species on earth (except perhaps for politicians).
Yeah… I ate a politician yesterday. It was kind of stringy and gross. Oh, maybe it was just a rat…
That should read “Jalan Petaling”, not “Jalan Petllaing”. I’ve been there before. Interesting place. There’s a night market where the street is packed from side to side with bootleg items for sale.
But then where can I get a pet liang, if not in Jalan?
You’ll have to pet a liang while you are there.
yeah, but this was near Petaling Street.
Anyways, the bootleg stuff is ridiculous, plus they’ll charge you out the nose for a fake just because you’re a “met salleh”
Quick! Everybody put those tinfoil hats on again!
Mine is torn; will it protect me anyway?
Quick, get out the duct tape!!
STD = Subscriber Trunk Dialling. It means long distance phone calls.
May be the booth/access center has both Internet and Long-distance call facilities.
The guy who posted this as Engrish is FAIL!!
short-term-distances?
My LAN just got warts from one of the Dead Cow Cult.
Utilities Software – Knowledge about network,LAN (Local Area Connection),Web Server,Mail Server,How to configuration FTP,Installing and setting the Server administrator should know, technical management Server.
Internet STD?
Paris hilton’s sex tape was re-released?
It’s like when you guys were talking about a whopper and mayo. I know what you are actually saying, when other people think you’re talking about hamburgers.
Wow, I guess someone does take the time to read our long posts.
But what’s your point.
Oh, I get it, you can copy and paste.
Condoms are for safe sex and what did you trying to say here in your post?
What if you could have all of the security of mac, plus a built in app store, address space layout randomization, and data execution prevention on 32 AND 64 bit? You can. And now, with kernel based mode setting and signed repositories, Ubuntu is more secure than ever.
Practice Safe Internet.
Use Ubuntu.
Linux for Human Beings.
To the person that posted this: You pointed out STD, without even knowing what it stands for in this context….and you cant spell JALAN PETALING as it should be. Shame on you, boo hoo!
Great. Now after all this time trying to keep my computer protected, i’m going to wear protection too.
Calls in countries such as US and most in Europe, cost the same for a local call and a long distance call within the country. Calling a local number in your city will most probably cost the same as calling someone in a different state, hundred of miles away. But in most developing countries, rates between local calls and long distance calls (not international calls) still differ and long distance calls are expensive. Standard Trunk Dialing or Subscriber Trunk Dialing (STD) offers cheaper rates for long distance calls within a country. I guess its logical to have this service within an Internet Cafe. This shouldnt be an “Engrish” and it should be removed.
STD stands for Standard Trunk Dialing or long distant calls. This can be seen in india and many other countaries which still use colonical English.
This is not an accidental misspelling or Engrish. STD stands for Subscriber Trunk Dialing, not Standard Trunk Dialing (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subscriber_trunk_dialling), and it means long distance calls between area codes within the country.