In an Emergency
Pull the C*ck – handle toward you.
Then
all door are ready for opening by hand
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Emergency or not, give it a little tug :)
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Dr. Handle, what IS your first name?
Since the name is hyphenated, this must be an in-law.
Unless it’s an outlaw. And there’s nothing worse than a hyphenated outlaw!
An outlaw with a backslash would be pretty angry, though.
So the c*ck is supposed to be pulled only in an emergency. I better make sure that in an emergency, I am close to a man.
Uh, I’m having an emergency here.
If you are having an emergency, you should pull the _ _ _k.
I meant that when I have an emergency I have be close to one.
I’ve been told I’m good to have around in the clutch.
Well then your wife must be happy to have you. And your female co-workers who might find themselves in an emergency.
Well, I thought you might ignore my little pun about the “clutch,” but it actually is one of my strengths that in a crisis situation I stay pretty cool, and even if I am somewhat freaked out I can usually act cool, which is appreciated both by my wife and my co-workers in the crisis-laden field I work in. Because of this, sometimes my wife accuses me of not caring, but since my wife is a world-class worrier and has a huge heart, I feel like I have to be the one to keep my head, even if I feel like I’m about to lose it.
Well that’s another of my strenghts as well. I can also stay cool in crisis situations. The only different between us is that I don’t have something someone can pull when in an emergency.
Well, I can only echo Buck’s statement that usually in such situations, pulling on that does not occur to me. But I’m certainly willing to try if it’s that helpful.
Hey you never know, you might save lives.
Although, please don’t do it in front of your patients as that would probably not be taken well. Unless one of your patients is sexual addict. He/she will take it well, but it’s not very professional on your part.
Unlike in the movies and on TV, any sexual activity with patients is very unethical and terribly, terribly damaging to the client, and I never would and utterly despise those few who do (and don’t think they get sanctioned strongly enough). But a true story: I had a client who was a compulsive exhibitionist, and I had used the bathroom just before the session and, about 15 minutes into it, noticed my zipper was open! I didn’t know if he’d noticed, and I was afraid he’d think I was mocking him or giving him some kind of strange test. Let me tell you, it is not easy to discretely pull up your zipper when you’re alone in a small office with a patient!
That was a good story. Thanks for sharing. I am glad you are an ethical person. That must have been hard. I can just imagine what kind of manuver you had to pull to..well.. pull your zipper up.
If he noticed, he didn’t mention it. But most psychologists and psychotherapists do work in an ethical manner (you have to care about people to do what we do, day in and day out), but those who do–especially with someone who has a history of sexual abuse, and those are the easiest to con into sexual activity–do irreprable harm. For anyone to talk about their deepest issues with someone they don’t know is hard, and it’s even harder for sexual abuse victims. Then to betray that trust–yet another violation of the person–its effects on the patient are devastating.
did y’all seriously just turn this into a flirt situation?
I like to cultivate what I call The Aspect Of The Swan. To look at on the surface, a swan gliding along on the water is a bird that has really got its act together – it looks serene, in control, possibly slightly imposing, but altogether in command of its element, cool calm and collected. Underneath, where you can’t see, the whole thing is thrashing around desperately to keep the whole shebang afloat and moving in the right direction.
Or a chicken shed.
Seeing how I live in the city, it would be harder to be near a chicken shed than a man in an emergency. If my husband were close to me in the emergency, I am sure he wouldn’t mind me pulling at it, as long as it’s not painful for him.
However if I am in an emergency and my husband is not around, I don’t know if I would feel comfortable pulling at another man’s equipment. Plus, I can’t imagine what kind of look I would get from that man.
So in conclusion, in an emergency, I will die.
There are these things you can buy in pet shops called “bull chews”, dried out meat that will keep a dog entertained for ages, which are basically dried out, ahem, yes, cut from the carcasses of steers that go to the abattoir. They are not terribly big, and are dehydrated so don’t have any odour (not to humans anyway; my dog can smell them through three doors and a shopping bag), so perhaps you could carry one with you, then in case of emergency and absence of men, you will still have something to pull on to save yourself?
Great idea! I’m getting one for the kit in my car immediately! Now I won’t have to take the rooster with me, or pick up male hitchhikers! And the dog will stop wandering off !!
This is from an airplane. There is a whole pit of them in the front.
Great, just great. Now I need to add a rooster to my emergency kit.
Or a man; I don’t see you having too much trouble finding volunteers.
A rooster would be a lot easier to pack around, and probably requires a lot less maintenance.
Could some please tell me WHY there were chickens in the dump truck that drives Hellboy around in the first movie??? There were hens in cages in that truck!
This has been killing me; I can’t figure it out.
He needs fresh eggs on his way to fight monsters…??
I think it was a good way to hide him. Caged chickens aren’t interesting and stink.
ah,chickens.i still like that Hellboy has so many cats.
Classic Navy crew alert announcement: Drop your c*ks and pull on your socks. This is not a drill.
Perhaps the translator was a bit kookku.
Funny, but if the plane is going down my Johnson is usually not the first thing I think of. However, if it helps save the plane and passengers, I’ll start yanking on it as heartily as possible.
Well, even if it doesn’t help, at least you’ll be coming when you go.
At least they will be able to get the doors open by hand! We must all do everything we can to be useful in emergency.
especially if there’s a fire ^_^
All your cöck are belong to us.
I was about to enter my password into the Email field >.>
I would like to have seen the avatar you got from that!
A real man is able to use his c0ck in an emergency.
Wait what
I sometimes wonder if the story of the Dutch boy who stuck his finger in the dyke was changed just a little to get a G rating.
That statement would make sense only if the emergency is that a woman has been going too long without getting laid. She is desperate almost to the point of dying. Then the man, comes with his hose and saves the day.
I’m never going to Japan: I’d get turned on after reading every sign.
If I obey these instructions, someone else will need to open the door. Both my hands will be busy. 8)
It takes two hands to handle a whopper?
Yes. One whopper, hold the mayo.
Want the weird sauce?
Would you like whore dust with that?
Sorry, they all COME with mayo.
That’s not mayo…
And that’s not a whopper.
Oh no, a big mac!
Run!
Pun!
Fun!
Nah, men always lie about This Sort Of Thing; tell you they’ve got a Quarter Pounder, and in reality it’s just a Junior Burger.
What do they tell you when they really do have a Quarter Pounder? That they have a Junior Burger?
Diet c0ck- never gets fat.
At least not riri fatt…
Fatt load of good that would be, then.
Hey, at least you still have a Handle, Dr.
We can assume it works well under pressure.