Hook(Fitting:Adhesivetape)
Attention
Unable to stick when the surface is wet, oil, dirty or waxen
Clean it with organic impregnant when the surface is wet, oil, dirty or waxen
don’t hang clock, camera, mirror and so on.
Don’t hang it near gas-overn and high tem. Place
Don’t stick it on unsmooth surface
Don’t overload
Don’t hang things in declining way
To be safety you can’t stick it on vitreous desk and stove, mustn’t roast things on stove
In winter, you’d better warm the interface appreciably with heating machine
Unable setting place
(unsmooth, roughness, flakily plane)
Earthy wall, plaster wall, wallpaper, wall fabric leatheroid and wet painty surface
Balneary, watery and the place that water easily
Submitted by: skeletorthemagnificent via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Copy & paste this:
I didn’t know organic pregnat women were good for cleaning.
Depends on how you extract the cleaning liquids
Just don’t extract them in a declining way.
If it flakily plane, man comes off easily.
Secirst!!!
Did you make up a word out of second and first?
Someone will be getting back to you shortly with some very usefull wiki-information. So hold on.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country is the sixth feature film in the Star Trek science fiction franchise. It was released in 1991 by Paramount Pictures, and is the last of the Star Trek films to include the entire core cast of the 1960s Star Trek television series. After an ecological disaster leads to two longstanding enemies—the Federation and the Klingon Empire—brokering a tenuous truce, the crew of the USS Enterprise-A must prevent war from breaking out on the eve of universal peace. Faced with producing a new film in time for Star Trek’s 25th anniversary, Denny Martin Flinn and Nicholas Meyer, the director of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, wrote a script based on a suggestion from Leonard Nimoy about what would happen if “the wall came down in space”, touching on the contemporary topic of the Cold War. Principal photography took place between April 1991 and September 1991. The production budget was smaller than anticipated due to the critical and commercial failure of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Due to a lack of sound stage space on the Paramount Pictures lots, many scenes were filmed around Hollywood. Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry died shortly before the movie’s premiere. The Undiscovered Country garnered positive reviews, with publications praising the lighthearted acting and tongue-in-cheek references.
Mustn’t roast things on stove, huh? Where can I roast my Steve flavored chops?
Hell, get some take-out tonight. Go get Riri Fatt!
I don’t want to be riri fatt!
Because then you’ll be ririculed.
If you do get riri fatt, just go to Washington, DC. I hear that fatt cats get treated quite well there.
They get first class treatment at the “ethnic” restaurants…
What kind of “ethnic” restaurants?
Oh, anything that says “native rabbit” on the menu…
Ah, I see. I’ll eat your native rabbit if it comes glazed in weird sauce.
don’t we want Takee-Outee?i can cover that in weird sauce!:]
I just want it glazed, not covered.
Don’t roast them! Braise them! In the pond!
But I just had braised Dave with boiled Steve yesterday!
With or without whoredust?
I don’t eat whoredust!
sgtupid
what the f
I’d like to see what’s under the Engrish Funny watermark… I can’t see what water easily does…
That we will never know. Ancient societies have tried for months to figure that out…
Why don’t we ask the Admins or skeletorthemagnificent?
Seems like a no-brainer to me. Water easily wets.
Water has a lot of surface tension. There are additives to make water wetter.
Yeah, but that tension is just at the surface. Deep down, water is really cool, calm, and collected.
As long as it doesn’t collect the wildlife.
I guess I was foolish for buying that non-stick coating for my vitreous desk-and-stove set, since apparently nothing sticks to them. Sales people always want to talk you into getting things you don’t really need.
like the sales person who sold me those Jesus Body tablets >.<
or the one who sold me a giant constipated King Kong Statue
or the Spiderman action figure I bought <..>
Look on the bright side – a King Kong statue that’s constipated maybe better than one that isn’t
Would Mary’s conception of Jesus qualify as an inorganic impregnation?
Doesn’t the Immaculate Conception refer to the conception of Mary herself, so that she could be born without the taint of original sin upon her? (I’m married to a Mick, and the details of these fairy tales fascinate me).
Yes, you win Common Misconceptions (pun intended) About Catholicism for $600! Now, for $800, the Jeopardy answer is, The Assumption.
Um….what term is used to describe the ascent of Mary in both body and soul to heaven after her death, leaving no earthly body behind?
Ding ding ding! Correct!! You say Common Misconceptions About Catholicism for $1000? Okay, here’s the answer: Infallibility.
Ooooh, hang on, hang on, I think I know this one, but I’ll have to word it carefully…. this could be quite a long and convoluted question… okay, here we go:
What term is used to refer to inability to make mistakes in teaching religious faith and morals, but is also sometimes incorrectly used to suggest that a person (most notably the Pope) is incapable of being wrong about anything or of committing sin?
Ding ding ding!! Well done! So, Dr. Handle, you’re standing atop the leader board with $2400 as we come to Final Jeopardy. Tonight, in a strange coincidence–God works in mysterious ways, huh? *wink wink*–happens to be Deadly Sins. And remember folks, your answer must be in the form of a question. Good luck! And the Final Jeopardy answer is:
This is the one sin a Roman Catholic cannot commit on Saturday, go to confession and receive absolution for, and then receive Holy Communion on Sunday, without committing a mortal sin.
What is Catch 22?
Sorry, no, that is incorrect. And I see you’ve wagered all of your winnings, which means you leave with zero dollars. But I hope you had a lot of fun here on Jeopardy anyway. And rest assured that while you didn’t make anything, I, Alex Trebeck, and our stations all made a lot of dough.
Never mind paws, I don’t think I know this one either – I was going to guess “What are the consequences for a Catholic who knowingly descrates the eucharist?”, although I think “What happens to dr handle’s husband if he neglects to make the cup of tea for his wife on a weekend morning before he goes to Mass?” is a better answer (The man must make the tea; I have the Bible to back me up on this one).
Oh, I’m sorry, Dr. Handle, but that answer is incorrect. And let’s see how much you wagered on this one–ah, you went all in. Well, I’m sorry, but you also end the day with no winnings. Now, for our third contestant… (Any takers?)
Can you repeat the question?
What is a mortal sin?
You can just scroll up to read the Final Jeopardy answer. And I’m sure I’m not supposed to offer any help on Jeopardy, but a mortal sin is one that would cause a person to be sent to hell, rather than purgatory, if the sin were still “on the books” (i.e., unforgiven) at the time of death. (In contrast to venial sins, which were more minor matters.) I am not a Roman Catholic, BTW, but was raised one and in fact used to teach religious education in the Catholic Church, so I am well versed in its doctrines. (Though I am not one of those who was so traumatized by my experience that I would describe myself, as some do, as a “recovering” Catholic. ) And applied practical theology has been an interest of mine for many years, so I know a little about most of the world’s religions, even those no longer extant. Only recently was I ordained, and as yet I haven’t done much with it. (I plan on the ministry being my “second career” if I ever manage to retire from psychology, and only a part-time occupation in the meantime.)
So what is the one thing a Catholic can’t do on Saturday then seek absolution and Communion on Sunday (and presumably be At It Again on Monday) without committing mortal sin? Does it have anything to do with eating the last chocolate biscuit?
As I understand it, “mortal sin” is no longer considered rigidly defined, but revolves largely around the idea of a mature, informed conscience, and knowingly undertaking sinful action. For instance, procuring an abortion is not mortal sin if you have never heard the teachings of the Catholic church against it, but if you have heard the Good (?) News, then it is, because you are supposed to know better. Maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss (although it leaves you with fewer fairy tales about imaginary friends to laugh at).
I’m sorry, time is up, contestants. And let’s see… Our third contestant not only left the tablet blank, but seems to have left the building. OK then, the Final Jeopardy question was, “What is remarriage?”
I didn’t leave it blank. My answer(question) was:
What is mortal sin?
You were talking about a sin committed and blah blah blah, without committing a mortal sin. So than that sin that you are talking about MUST be a mortal sin. Right?
So anyways, even though I was wrong, I wanted to clarify that I did provide an answer.
Duh! I missed it entirely! Of course, that answer is incorrect, because all kinds of mortal sins can be committed on Saturday, with confession and absolution Saturday night, and Holy Communion on Sunday. In fact, you can kill your spouse, go to confession and express remorse and promise not to kill again, and receive communion on Sunday. However, if you are divorced, and you marry on Saturday, not only can’t you receive communion on Sunday but essentially you cannot, ever again. Yes, some Catholics do get annulments, but this is a lengthy, complicated, and expensive procedure, and requires that you pretend that you weren’t married before. As a Catholic, I went as far as getting the forms, looking at them, laughing, and throwing them away. And on that day, the Church and I parted company. Since my first wife had had an affair with my best friend, and wouldn’t break it off, I felt that divorce was far more civil and virtuous than my emotionally-preferred options! And there I was, permanently a second-class citizen in a church I had spent much time and done much work in. Ah, well, I think the legalism and rigidity would have driven me out, eventually, anyway. I’m not one who believes that if you call God something else than I do, or even if you’re not sure there is a God, that you’re bound for hell. No offense intended to any Catholics reading this; people go to churches for lots of diverse reasons, and I dont’ wish to disturb anyone who is comfortable where they are.
Then of course there’s running off and marrying an atheist… the husband and I were hitched for nearly 10 years before we had our marriage convalidated (recognized as a ‘true’ marriage) by his church. It needed the approval of the archbishop, because he’d done something worse than just marry an atheist; he’d married an atheist who’d been baptised into a faith as a baby and rejected it when she grew up, making her… APOSTATE (pauses whilst audience gasps in horror). When the bit of paper finally arrived, it was wonderful – finally, we were allowed to have secks!
any one see the bushes thatlook like giant cumm
makers
Oh, and BTW, although I am rather familiar with the Bible, I cannot recall any passages dealing with tea. Can you enlighten me as to where I might find such?
What? It’s spelled out very clearly – the man must make the tea. There’s an entire book about it in the NT. It’s titled “Hebrews”. *tish-BOOM!*
*CLONK!!!* Dreadful pun indeed! That ranks up there with the fellow who told me that the Bible says God was a baseball fan. After all, he said, the first words in the book are, “In the big inning…”
Maybe he’s a cricket fan.
Could be. He created so many of the infernal noisy insects!
Leatheroid. Is that an insulting term of reference to motorcycle riders?
More like Tuna & People.
Maybe it’s a robotic steer.
Leatheroids are the drones who work for the Stud Master.
Oh, noes!! Tell me they’re not multiplying!
If they are sexually active among themselves with no protection, then yes, they are multiplying.
I tried to tell them to wear the tinfoil hats, but no, nobody would listen, now there are all these little Leatheroids crawling around, and the Stud Master is being harrassed to provide parental leave, a breastfeeding room and an on-site creche.
Never fear! Samus’ll deal with those pesky Letheroids!
Samus is too busy with the metroids right now. I’ll give her your request next time I see her.
As a motorcycle-riding leatheroid, I can say that I have been called far worse things than that by self-described respectable people in their sensible cars. Who would’ve guessed that Volvo drivers knew words like that?
The trouble there is that you’ve made the Ovlov operator (I refuse to describe them as drivers) engage their brain, and they don’t like doing that.
They might try engaging their indicators, at least.
“In winter, you’d better warm the interface appreciably with heating machine.” If ever there were a rule that didn’t need to be made, this is it!
The interface can also be agreeably warmed with a certain amount of friction.
Which of course is kept to an agreeable level by a certain amount of lubrication.
It’s Happy Fun Hook!
I find it saves time to hang things while the paint is still wet, but I riri mustn’t.
“Wet painty surface”
Sounds like language a two year old would use. Well at least the wet and painty. I don’t think they say surface.
Although with two-year-olds, it’s not uncommon to encounter a wet panty surface.
Or a wet painty surface, if they’ve decided that a large piece of butcher’s paper just hems in their poster paint creativity too much, and the loungeroom wall would provide a much more suitable canvas for their artistic expression.
I hate it when pilots flakily plane.
“…and so on.” Let’s see, we have a series, clock, camera, mirror… Sorry, I don’t see a pattern. What on earth would come next?
How on earh should we do?
I think that first we should have some t.
Hey how did you take that “t” from my post? I am sure it was there before.
It’s 4:00 PM here now. That, of course, is the time I always take t.
And since you said you are a coffee drinker, I am sure coffee time is at 6am, 8am, 10:30am, 1pm, 3pm and lastly before going to bed 9pm.
Coffee time is basically 24/7, although I don’t usually go to bed nearly that early.
Clearly you can’t go to bed that early, because of all the coffee you’ve been drinking all day long.
Also, you mention that coffee time is 24/7, does that mean you drink coffee in your sleep as well.
Yes, I have an IV hooked up to me while I sleep. Otherwise, I’m just too sleepy to dream.
I have never heard of that method of inducing dreams…
Actually, I don’t use IV coffee, of course. However, I have an erratic sleep schedule, and a typical week will find me awake at some point at every time of day. I have obstructive sleep apnea, treated well with a CPAP machine, but I have other oddities of sleep including hypersomnia (one of the reasons I drink so much coffee), sleep-onset REM (I go directly into the dream state, no normal progression through the sleep stages), hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations, and sleepwalking.
A side effect from all of the drugs you subjected yourself to?
I just want to double check, you meant to say CPAP machine. I don’t know if you meant CRAP machine and the filter switched letters around.
By the way, an interesting fact:
The toilet was first named The Crapper, named after its inventor Thomas Crapper.
Actually, the invention of the flush toilet by Thomas Crapper is a myth. Thomas Crapper was indeed an English plumber, but the invention of the flush toilet predates him by quite a few years. It is also a myth that we get the word “crap” from his name, since the word “crap” appears in literature long before his lifetime.
CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure, and is a machine that forces air into a mask, which is used to keep the throat open during sleep, preventing obstructive sleep apnea. The condition can also be treated surgically, but I try to avoid surgery whenever possible. The machine works well for me.
No, my sleep apnea and other sleep oddities most certainly are not a side effect of drug abuse, since most of the symptoms date back to childhood. I also know of a family history of the condition (although retrospectively diagnosed), and my stopping breathing during sleep was noticed early on by my college freshman roommate, who was premed, at a time when I had scarcely started to abuse drugs, and when my loud snoring (a symptom of obstructive sleep apnea) had been well known for years before. Abuse of alcohol and other downers worsened the condition at the time I did them, but I never sought treatment for it until I had been sober 14 years, at a time when the quality of my sleep had deteriorated to the point that I was waking up more tired than when I went to bed. It is a rather common problem that can have serious, even deadly, health consequences. People with sleep apnea do have a higher frequency of other sleep abmormalities, but most, unlike myself, do not have sleep-onset REM or the hallucinations. (I recall one particularly vivid episode of hypnogogic hallucinations that I can date to when I was 7, which (believe me!) was long before I took up substance abuse.
No, I am one of the lucky few who managed to emerge from serious alcoholism and drug abuse with my health apparently intact. All of the chronic health problems I have now emerged only after I’d been sober for years. Of course, it is possible that some of the bad habits set off a cascade of events that only surfaced as illness years later, but I tend to doubt it.
See, Engrish can be educational. I don’t know what good it will do me to know all this now, but you never know.
Any time is t time. In fact, I’m doing it RIGHT NOW. *heavy breathing*. Go on, ask me what colour tea mug I’m using…
What color of tea mug are you using?
Do you have buttered scones for tea?
I have no idea why I am asking, but what sort of tea are you drinking?
*pant pant pant* Earl Grey. With milk. Yes, I’m a philistine. But what do you expect from someone who’d call a 1300 telephone number advertised as “T For A Good Time”? *pant pant pant*
I love Earl Grey tea, but I can’t imagine mixing it with milk.
1300? Never heard of telephones that old…
Earl Grey with milk is my favorite. Although I wouldn’t mind having it with Mike.
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who drinks Earl Grey with milk.
BTW, I once had someone tell me he didn’t like Earl Grey tea because it tastes like dish-washing liquid! I knew he was referring to the fact that some detergents have bergamot added as a fragrance, but I just stared at him until he asked me why I was staring at him, then I told him I was waiting for him to blow bubbles. He still didn’t realise what he’d said!
Well clearly your friend is the one with the problem if he knows what dish-washing liquid tastes like.
Anyone who has incompletely rinsed a dish knows that!
Anything that is large, heavy, and would make an expensive noise of destruction when it hit the floor.
Tell again why I am dropping this nice camera with the fancy lens??
To make sure that you can not flash.
Seems to me that when people are hanged, they will tend to act in ways that express their desire to decline.
I’ve never touched Ms. Organic! Plus, I couldn’t have gotten her impregnated since I have been hanging in a declining way (and I refuse to get medication for it).
Maybe a little Viagra in the adhesive tape would help the hook (fitting) to keep things up.
Are you Hung Far Low in a declinging way?
Declinging. That must be when the man comes off.
After all.
Just live gaily.
After all…
Yes. It happens when you try to stick to a flakily plane
It’s probably a sign of unsmooth roughness.
well slap mah fro!
It’s funny how some things are highlighted to show you the funny, but even things that aren’t highlighted are still ackward.
To be safety you can’t stick it on vitreous desk and stove.
Yes, I think the whole thing is riri funny, and I don’t see the need for the highlighting (and wonder what happened to Panda!). And I think the “vitreous desk and stove” may be the funniest phrase up there.
The idea of a desk and stove combo unit appeals to me enormously – I can sit at my desk, and cook pancakes at the same time.
You could have a shmoke and a pancake.
Glass-topped desks, and ceramic hobs, have been done.
Yes, glass-topped desks. I was wondering why anyone would need to stick a hook on the top of a desk.
If the desk is mounted on a wall, this would come in handy.
but then your glass would fall and the wine would stain your carpet
Then stop whining!
I try not to buy my silverware at Unable Setting Place. If you can’t set the table with it, what good is it???
“Hang things in declining way.” Well, I’ve had a terrible time learning my declensions, but I’ll give it a go:
thingus thinga thingo
thingum thingam thingum
thingo thinga thingo
No idea what the gender is; neuter, probably.
People called Romani go to the house?
Gypsies coming to neuter someone’s thingo?
If it’s Russian, “thingo” would already be neuter.
In Russia, “thingo” neuters you! ( Sorry! Couldn’t resist!)
You couldn’t resist having me neutered? And you wonder why I’ve got a castration complex?
That sounds like a sharp development…
I’m just Putin you on.
It’s not Vladurday, is it?
Well, I razz Putin.
But “go home” is…. an IMPERATIVE!
Hang things in declining way, doo daa, doo daa…
Oh GRUD I was trying so hard to ignore that scansion!
Don’t think of pink elephants, doo-dah, doo-dah…
Trying so hard to ignore, oh, the doo daa day!
Elephants in pink, elephants all day,
Bet you can’t get your brain to quit,
Oh, doo-dah day!
What was I going to say? Doo daa, doo daa…
Can you keep this up all day?
Oh, doo-dah day.
Only if he has viagra, doo dah, doo dah….
And if he does, and goes more than four hours, this is a medical emergency and he needs to see his doctor immediately, oh, doo-dah day!
If your doo-dah won’t go soft,
doo dah, doo dah,
See your doc or it might fall off,
oh, doo-dah day!
The sheets look like a tent
doo dah, doo dah,
Go to doc to get it mend
oh, do-dah day!
If your sheets look like a tent,
Doo-dah, doo-dah,
There’s some lust you haven’t spent,
Oh, doo-dah day.
“Don’t hang things in declining way” – So how does one hang something in an inclining way?
Has anyone considered that hanging things vertically down actually minimises the sheer loading on the hook?
If I’m not inclined to hang it, but do it anyway, I am hanging things in a declining way. If I am inclined to hang it, but then don’t, I’m not hanging things in an inclining way.
Who cares about sheer loading? This is engrish, there’s no place here for the laws of physics!
Well, if you’re loading heavy thighs into sheer stockings, you need to have a general appreciation for the laws of tensile strength.
“the place that water easily” describes my eyes when I read instructions like these!
I get that too, along with the see that not easily.
“Unsmooth” Write plusungood.
I was trying to sear the Steve and Dave rump roast, and every time I got the skillet up to temperature, they would break free of the hook adhesive tape and jump off of the stove. I just doesn’t work right.
havent you started using duct-tape?that’ll stick ‘em down real good!
another trickis to put some windex give them a spray or two and the
secret windex ingredients will cause them to fall unconsious..
Now now, PG, I’m sure there are times you DO work right. We all have our off days. Now why don’t we just grind up those rumps and make @ss burgers?
Hey, don’t mispronounce Asperger’s Syndrome! I might get irate!
No fair! You might get the “i” rate, and all I get is STD.
Some penicillin should clear that right up.
If STD is standing for sexually transmitted disease, penicillin would only be of value in the bacterial ones (not the viruses), and only if the strains were not resistant. But given that I have been completely monogamous for 24 years, I think I’m fairly safe from STDs.
cough, cough, Ah, JohnB, monogamy is a two-way street…
How many gamys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2, but don’t ask me how they get in there. *boom/tish*
Well, of course. Any more ways would not be monogamy. Or a street. I am, to answer the implied question, fairly sure my wife has been monogamous as well. But if I do get an STD, Lucy’s got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do!
I stopped for my morning break and lost my t. I think that there is a filter in the server that is stopped up and catching the t.
… A t filter?
I am a definete believer that there is something out there taking our t’s from our posts. Probably to make us look foolish
Also something out there switches e’s for i’s.
I’ll keep an I out for it…
HELP!! E can’t see!
Ah, there it is!
If there was, wouldn’t it be a filer, not a filter?
Not if it is clogged.
Yes, if it was clogged you could look in through the check window and see the status of the tftitltttttttttetrt.
Obviously, they’re using an ordinary t-strainer. I have several in the kitchen drawer.
You might want to see a doctor if you’ve strained your t…
Or a dietician, if it is your stomach that is straining your t.
My girlfriend’s a dirty girl, who gets wet oil & waxen a lot. YOU THINK SHE’S PREGNANT?!
did anyone see the bushes that looked like big cum
makers?
what the HELL????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?