Help protect this nature area
Because this unique area is home to some rare animal and plant species we ask you please:
Stay on the trail
Continual walking off the trails destroys the vegetation and interferes with the animal and plant habit.
Do not pick of damage flowers or pants
Do not molest or collect wildlife
Do not ride bicycles on trails
Dogs are prohibited everywhere
Pick up all you litter
Fish
Submitted by: DaddehsBoi via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Copy & paste this:
Do not pick at your pants – if you keep picking at them, they’ll never heal.
Also, you must not molest the wildlife; however, you may make lewd suggestions, provided you keep your hands to yourself.
Fish.
Cod is watching you!
Obviously somebody want’s to be a carp star
hehehe douglass adams title win!
42.
I think that was a typo of “Do not Fish.” Y’know…like the verb ‘to fish’.
I’m not convinced this is really engrish. Aside from the bizarre, vague rule of “FISH” and a typo in “Pick up all YOU litter”, this isn’t bad at all.
And FYI, molest also means harass or pester, not necessarily sexually assault, before anyone makes any guy accidentally humping poison ivy jokes.
You didn’t notice that it warns against disturbing the plant and animal habit?
“Continual walking off the trails destroys the vegetation and interferes with the animal and plant habit.”
I have a plant habit. It’s not addictive, but habitual.
We ask please you? xD
How charming. Now we expect all the litter to pick themselves up. What is this world coming to????
So sad that it should come to this,
we tried to warn you all, but oh dear….
And the award for most surreal signpost of the year goes to:-
[melting clock]
You can take your Dali constitutional in this park.
Sorry, I was out walking the elephant with 50 foot long legs.
An elephant with fifty legs? Well, at a foot long each, it must be a long, low elephant!
I’d like to know how fifty feet can go on four legs. I guess that’s why they’re long, so they can be attached at various points all the way up the leg. That reminds me of a picture we just linked to yesterday, except it wasn’t an elephant and those sure weren’t feet!
I was quite surprised that the Commonwealth of Kentucky did not see fit to block it here, since I use the state system at work, but I long ago gave up trying to figure out the rules.
I don’t have any blockers on, so I just have too be discriminatory about what links I click. And no, it does not make me a linkist!
Think centipede with a trunk and big flappy ears… I like it!
Now that you put it that way… But don’t centipedes actually have thirty two legs or some number of the sort?
I bet it depends on whether a kid played with it before the legs were counted.
Kids, don’t play with your mutant elephants in public!
The legs come off just as easily in private. Just like the man comes off.
Only if the elephant lives gaily after all.
He or she who can live gaily
While legs come off
Has found the secret of true Insouciance.
After all.
^ Man Who Sold the World ref?
A reference librarian.
Yay! A Douglas Adams reference!
who?
Greatest comedic writer of all time. The title refers to the 4th book in the Hitchhiker’s Guide series.
trilogy of 5 books, yes you heard right.
His wife commissioned for one of his students to write a 6th HHGTTG book and it’s coming out this OCTOBER!!!
Will it continue from where he stopped writing The Salmon of Doubt?
It’s become such a part of the lexicon I don’t think Douglas Adams anymore. I wish he were still around!!
I wish he had waited until he had finished his next book, but what are we going to do? Hurry up and finish that resurrection serum!
I hope he had the good sense to get frozen instead of cremated!
Cast Life 2 on the ashes.
He is. All around.
True, the number 42 will never die.
Douglas Adams= pure genius.
In fact my father was a pretty good friend of his before he died.
Friends don’t stop being friends because of a silly little thing called death.
Yeah, what a fair weather friend he was!
well I guess you could still call them friends. they don’t talk much though!
That’s better. Of course, it would be better if he could talk DNA into finishing his last book… Tell him to make more of an effort.
OK, that Panda has crossed the line now! How dare he decree that the only funny part of this sign is the word “fish”?! What about picking pants and molesting wildlife? Jerk Panda!
Even that’s not so much funny as surreal. At least IMO.
I don’t know where this is, but it must be a place of deep religious significance, since apparently the animals–and even the plants–wear habits.
Nunsense!
nuns make sense?
If the animals and plants are wearing habits, does this mean they are Catholic? If they are all Catholic, does that mean a Protestant such as myself is banned from walking the trail and fishing?
Maybe the fish they’re talking about are monkfish.
No, I believe they’re holy mackerel.
They might also be referring to Ichthys.
Wear a habit on a hot day, you can certainly get the Itchys.
Atheist Dreadful Pun Hell fairy is intellectually, punaciously and geometrically horrificated by you all. *clonk* I dread to think what Fundamentalist Dreadful Pun Hell fairy would make of this.
Fundamentalist Dreadful Pun Hell fairy would be outside, wailing and gnashing her teeth.
If my pants get wedged in my crack I’m pickin’em out, and I don’t care what some sign says.
Then I’m gonna fish, just like the sign tells me to.
what sick, twisted ideas you have! *shivers*
Be careful with your catch, though, since you’re forbidden to molest the wildlife.
And if you don’t pick your pants, who will?
What if the wildlife molests you?? *gasps*
Sometimes you molest the wildlife, and sometimes the wildlife molests you.
In Soviet Russia, the wildlife always molests you.
Soviet Russia molests the wildlife, while making you watch. Then it molests you, while the wildlife watches. Then it sends all of you to Siberia.
Sounds like a complicated procedure, and the wildlife gets the short end of the deal.
Like I would enjoy being molested and sent to Siberia?? I’m strange, but not THAT strange!
Yes, but you didn’t get a shorter end of the deal than the wildlife! It isn’t their fault you were in Soviet Russia!
It’s not my fault they were there either! I have never in my life transported wildlife to any totalitarian state.
Exactly! They were already living there peacefully when you came along and got them molested on your behalf!
Don’t pick pants, don’t molest animals, pick yourself some litter, and fish right now!
Beware the turtles riding bicycles off the trail.
The sign also says “Dogs are prohibited everywhere”.
What will happen to all the dogs in the world?
Do all dogs go to heaven?
All Dogs go to Heaven 2!
And if all dogs go to heaven, where do cats go?
All cats go to hell?
We have our own heaven, where we rule over the dogs. And the humans, and the fish, and everything else.
So I gather, then, that you are the prophet for a new religion, Felinism?
Yes! Contact your nearest cat for more information. Donations of cheeseburgers are always welcome.
In my house, the cats have a lot of trouble getting to any food put down before the dogs do. Cats certainly lead in quickness in most respects, but in consumption of food, dogs are faster than a speeding vacuum cleaner, while cats always have to decide if they really want to eat it, even if it’s something that I know they love.
What, do you expect us to eat just anything? We take pride in eating only the finest cheeseburgers!
Well, I had a cat that used to catch and eat flies.
Only the finest flies will do!
Organic flies?
French flies!
Well, maybe French horn flies, because flute flies would have been too small.
Reave the Flench flies arone!
The ancient Egyptians worshiped cats as gods. Several thousand years later, cats have not forgotten this.
I don’t think we can tell Meowth he’s not a God. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.
But what if he is a god?
When somebody asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!
Even if you’re an atheist?
Yes. If Ghostbusters taught us anything, it should be that!
I never met an atheist who believed in ghosts!
Well, now you have. You don’t have to believe in a God to believe in other supernatural phenomena, you know, and atheism only implies the nonexistence of God, not of anything else.
Isn’t that a lot like here then? I welcome our furry cheezbrgr craving overlords!
You are welcome in our house of cats!
According to John Constantine, all cats are half in this world, half in hell already.
I do hope he wasn’t referring to Hell… I took it to mean they are only half in this world, and half is some other. Cat Hell truly does exist; it’s at Animal Regulation in the room with the decompression chamber. My cat was in the cage next to it before I got her; I think I can see movies of it in her eyes sometimes. She’s our kitty now and that’s not gonna happen!!!
Who is he?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constantine_(film)
I sent you a wiki link, but it may get moderated out of existence. It’s a character in the Marvel Comics Hellblazer series, made into the movie Constantine. I liked it, Keanu Reeves has the central role, and I think he did a great job. Nice monsters, good characters, decent plot. Satan is played very well!
Oh, I have not seen that movie. If he really said that horrible rumor about cats, I don’t think I want to, either.
I’m glad you returned to your normal shade. I couldn’t get used to a yellow blueJade.
it says “do not molest wildlife” and what they point out is “fish”
I don’t believe it is possible to fish without molesting wildlife.
It is entirely possible: you pack the esky with cold drinks, pack a lunch with lots of good munchy things, hook up with a couple of mates, then find a nice fishing spot, tie a small stone or sinker to the end of the line, drop it in the water, and voila! You enjoy a great day of fishing without the unpleasantness of actually having to catch any fish.
Last time I went fishing with my kid, a large bullfrog tried to swallow the bright red and white bobber. No hook required.
It’s a matter of semantics, but I think if you’re not at least making a token effort to catch something, you’re not really fishing. But I will admit that when I was young and foolish, I thought a day spent fishing was wasted if I didn’t catch anything. Now I know that a day spent relaxing by or on or in the water is great, and if some fish show up, that’s nice, too.
I once caught a crawfish on an artificial lure (a beetle spinner) while wade-fishing in a river. He latched on to the plastic part and wouldn’t let go. I tossed the whole thing back in and used him as part of my bait for a while. He either eventually got tired and let go, or perhaps he was plucked off the lure by some precise-mouthed fish.
Signs! Won’t let me pick flowers, damage my pants, and now I can’t molest the wildlife! Can’t I have any fun at all?
…oh! I can fish! So that’s okay then. Never mind.
Fish!!!
Don’t say “fish”, Bishop. It doesn’t mean anything.
Ghoti!
Ewe doughnt cey.
Gh as in “rough,” o as in “women,” and ti as in “action.”
Ai naugh. Lloo dohnt haff two ecksplane ot tu mee!
But what if someone else is reading this exchange?
Really? Do you think that happens here? I thought we were in a private chat room! Oh, noes! And all these secrets I have been revealing…
All part of the master plan!
Not… no, not… the Stud Master plan?!?
It was really me who did all those things JohnB said he did. I am… Sam, that’s it. I am Sam. Sam I am.
I do not like green eggs and ham!
Well suck it up buttercup!
Would you, could you in a boat?
Would you, could you with a goat?
I could, I could, in a boat.
I could, I could, with a goat.
But in a boat with a goat,
I doubt the thing would stay afloat.
I would not could not in a goat.
I could not would not with a boat.
You mustn’t pick the pants. They were planted there so that instead of messy dirt and dark there are pretty things there now to be happy.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fish!
how many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change!
I’m afraid you really messed this one up. The question should be “change a lightbulb,” since “screwing in” works as a setup with some of these jokes but not this one, since it’s being changed, not being screwed in. Secondly, it really works better with psychologists than psychiatrists, because in practice psychiatrists primarily prescribe medicine, whereas psychologists (as well as clinical social workers and licensed professional counselors) do actual talk therapy.
Fesh fesh fesh!
If you molest the wildlife, be sure not to collect it afterward.
Can I at least molest the fish?
thats the best
i love the… do not molest wildlife… because that’s a very serious issue… and it must be hindered
All I can say is: 42
So i can’t do anything to the animals, but i can fish……cool i get to feed my family a rare fish species……imagine the taste. 83