Please center it. Your lovely(?) is not so straight as you imagine.
Manager
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
A toilet in Tokyo
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Manager, I had a stroke
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Rautatientori (Swedish: Järnvägstorget) is an open square in central Helsinki, immediately to the east of the Helsinki Central railway station. The square mostly serves as Helsinki’s secondary bus station (the primary one being at the Kamppi Center). The square faces the eastern side of the railway station, with two ornate entrances: a bigger one for public use, and a smaller one exclusively for the President of Finland and his/her official guests.
At one side of the square is the entrance to the Rautatieasema (Central Railway Station) and the Rautatientori metro station and near to the opposite corner is the entrance to the Kaisaniemi metro station.
During summer afternoons and evenings, the pub tram Spårakoff departs from the Mikonkatu tram stop in the square once per hour
wikipedia invades comments not so straight as you imagine
Only under the Ordinal Post rule.
I wish rerun season would hurry up and get done with.
Win.
So, if my lovely is not straight, then is it gay/lesbian or bisexual?
That’s not important – what’s important is that you love it just the way it is. Unless it watches “Twilight” movies, then you can slap it.
RAMEN!
Why does everyone hate the Twilight movie? Aside from the gaping plotholes and the creepy stalker, it had some nice music!
That’s about the only thing it had going for it.
Well, I saw it on Pay Per View, and it was only a dollar or two, so the music was worth it.
It sure was! Even back in the old days, I had to pay more than that for something that would make me see music.
You’re doing it wrong, then!
I’m not doing it at all now!
You don’t need fancy machines to see music! Just open your mind and close your eyes!
Or grab a pipe and smoke it
No smoking I will crazy!
It had GREAT music !!!!! the plot needed some work,major work!
Yes, and a less abusive relationship.
And a lot more blood!i love that blood!
Can’t have vampires without blood…
*licks lips*
Why the question mark after lovely? Is this a not-so-subtle insult!!?
I think you should take that up with The Manager.
Or your Lovely?
Switching hands while stroking should prevent it from curving to one side like that.
but why is the manager staring at my lovely (?)
The manager is checking your lovely for straightness.
And apperantly it’s not as straight as he imagined.
The manager would find my lovely a lot straighter if he were a she…
You’re making assumptions about the manager; aren’t you?
No, just working off Laconejita’s statement. If anyone’s making assumptions, it would be she.
It is not an assumption when you know it’s true.
I happen to know the manager.
In the Biblical sense?
girls like my lovely not being straight as it gets to places …. *slowly backs away whistling an innocent tune*
Dude! You’re really bent!
He’s round the twist.
I wonder if he had a transplant from a boar…….?
Maybe this is a sign outside the men’s bathroom asking them nicely to hit the target. They tend to miss.
A LOT. I used to work in Japan and the shared bathrooms in our office were atrocious. I used to hold it – I lived 10 minutes away by bike, and would take my break and run home to pee.
A private practice group I worked with was painting the bathrooms and we were voting on what colors they should be. I suggested that pale yellow would work best for the men’s room.
Nice. A man that knows about matching colors when it comes to decoration.
I question the choice of theme the matching color is based on.
Well yes, I said nice but because JohnB is not going to be using my toilet or decorating my bathroom.
If this were my husband’s words, there would be a different response.
Not only is pale yellow a good idea it’s a beautiful color in any room!
Yes, see, Laconejita? I mean, it’s insulting enough that you won’t let me decorate your bathroom, but you won’t even let me add some pale yellow to your toilet???
I am sorry if I have insulted you. But let’s just say that if I ever invite you to my house, you should plan a stop by the gas station before. Or if you do really can’t hold it and have to pee in my toilet, you better come prepared with some cleaning flavor with celery and peanuts to clean that up.
I’d be glad to bring over a stirfry I made including peanuts and celery, but while I think I’m pretty good with a wok (if I do say so myself), I don’t think the results would be much good for cleaning your toilet!
YOU ARE INVITED!
If you say you are good with a wok, please come over to my house to cook. Bring your wife with you, I don’t want you all to get any ideas. We’ll have a nice dinner and if you need to use the bathroom, your wife can use the toilet and for you, we’ll have a lemon tree outside in which you can pee on.
Hurry up before winter gets here. We wouldn’t want you to freeze your peanuts or your celery.
I wonder if John’s as good a cook as Luke Skywoker.
I took cooking lessons from Aerosmith. They taught me to Wok This Way.
Dude cooks like a lady.
never judge a cook by his oven
I will bring a bakers dozen and we can rate the PG-13.
I will also bring extra tinfoil hats, just in case.
In case of what?
In case anyone forgets theirs, and the Alien Masters of Planet Zorg start trying to beam in those mind control waves again. Don’t you pay attention? Don’t you Use Protection?
I will bring a bocconcini the size of a bowling ball.
I love you, PG, you know that, don’t you?
I’ll bring my special painapple horse shoe crap suprise
covered in weird sauce!
How do we tell if a chicken is no longer a virgin? And I can’t imagine how paws is going to find one that’s had butt-….. oh. wait…. chickens only have one…..
I hope you’re not suggesting DIY. I’m not into birdiality.
Really? I thought you were a little on the flighty side…
Even so, stuffing a chicken from the side sounds a tad awkward…
If “little” truly describes you, the awkwardness of being on the flighty side would be minimal.
Works for me, but I’d rather cook the chicken and stuffing separately, because it makes it easier to get a body cavity temperature that kills food poisoning bacteria.
Well, if you’re talking about cooking I certainly agree with you…
I’m out of Mike. Can I bring some Steve instead?
What about the Iraqi Government? Who is bringing that?
I’m pretty sure laconejita was referring to our previous discussion of the connotations of the term “stuffed” in different countries.
Hasn’t she done a great job of organizing this thread? I think it may be a first for this site; I haven’t seen anything like it before.
If this turned into a real party, it would be EPIC!
Yeah John, I was talking about cooking a chicken.
I only get into beastiality when it’s combined with sadism and necrophilia.
When is this party, anyway?
paws4thot: I think you’re flogging a dead horse. *boom/tish*
I’ll probably also need a map to get there.
DNT, no, just a very old joke!
Ok,
Thank you all for coming together with the preparations.
Droll: I did make a reference to the post of what stuffed meant in your country. But if you don’t want to stuff it, I am sure someone in the party will. So just bring the chicken.
Meowth: If you would like to come along with Steve, that’s fine. We accept your preferrences. (That is, the preference of bringing Steve over Mike.)
DATE: It is hard to finalize a date, but I would say we should do it for Halloween time. That way, some of you may want to come dressed up like their avatar. Like meowth could show up in a cat costume.
PLACE: I live in Denver, CO. Please make your own travel arrangements.
You are welcomed to bring your parters, lovers, or friends.
Oh… I’ll be in Vermont over Halloween time. I will be dressed like my avatar, though.
@paws: You clearly have a well-defined fetish, but there’s no point in being rigid about it. Come to think of it, there certainly is. Never mind.
@Droll: I agree, but such a party would be quite an achievement, given the intercontinental, intergenerational, and inter-who-knows-what-else nature of our ragtag band of smart@sses.
@laconejita: I’m so glad you’ve stuck around. But I also have a previous commitment at that time. And besides, if I’m not mistaken, October 31 can already be quite wintry in Denver, depending on which way the winds are blowing.
You southerners and your aversion to temperatures below 70 degrees… Oh, and you forgot inter-species in your list of inters.
I say paint a target on the wall of the potty, with red and white paint, right where you wish everyone would aim. The rest can still be pale yellow.
I try to discourage my guests from p!ssing on the wall, not encourage them.
Ha ha! I’ve heard of “exclusive” parties, but that would be the extreme!
I only invite guests who aim to please.
We all aim to please!
That’s not been my experience.
Well, maybe you need more experience. Go out and fight some monsters and come back when you level up.
You don’t bother to straighten your crooked lovely(?) then you’ll make her say ouch!
If it’s bent due to a medical condition (google Peyronie’s disease), then straightening it will make HIM say ouch!
But what if I want to BING Peyronie’s disease?
or YAHOO it?
If I had Peyronie’s, the last thing I’d want to do is “Bing!” or “Yahoo!”
Let alone have someone “Google” it.
If Peyronie were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.
And we would all be watching it on YouTube.
And wondering why someone buried him alive.
And how he could still be alive after a couple hundred years.
And how someone got a video cam down there.
We’ll just send the idea to Mythbusters and let them work out the details. I suspect the method will involve explosives.
Not if he had his bent kickstand down.
As is often the case, the disease was named for the first doctor who identified it, rather than the sufferer, although whether this is fair is certainly an issue about which reasonable people may disagree. The name of Alois Alzheimer, for example, is one that is forgotten only by the sufferers of the illness, even though he did not live long enough to experience the effects of his namesake.
First a sign I just met calls me darling, and now a sign is making disparaging comments about my lovely. I think that signs are starting to get a little uppity!
It must be a sign! Is it a good omen or a bad omen? You decide!
Omen to that!
Now, straighten your lovely question mark so we can get out of here.
These signs are becoming so predictable!
Really? I always find that question marks are very secretive.
What, exactly, do they secrete?
Uncertainty.
I thought that was Heisenberg.
Yes, at least in principle.
But Heisenberg ate question marks!
No, that was the Hindenburg, and it burned them all up.
I am uncertain about the accuracy of that. Please list your sources.
They all burned up too. We’re talking the HINDENBURG here, not some weenie roast!
Oh, the punctuation.
Oh, the insanity!!!
Oh, the felinity!
I’m uncertain about that.
Only in principle, mind you.
Reverse the ship, full throttle! We’re about to run into a Heisenberg.
Oh, the uncertainty!
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign
ngis eht daer uoy t’nac ,taht od t’nod ,siht oD
dnim ym gnikaerb yrenecs eht tuo gnikcolB
ngis a erehwyreve nigS nigS
For an interpretation of this, please refer to JohnB’s post above.
Some of us are a little more backward than others.
I guess they meant
“please understand”
“Your lover is not as straight as you think”
“Including your manager”
okay …maybe not the last part
cant figure out where that question mark goes and if it has a purpose at all
I think that they are being coy about a very special body part. In fact, they’re not just being coy, they’re being smarmy!
I’m not sure that it’s a good thing to be encouraging people to adjust their lovelies too often. Certainly not in public. Remember, fellas, more than two adjustments and it’s a wank!
No, more the two adjustments and it’s a good time!
More than two adjustments and it’s a baseball game.
More than 20 adjustments and it’s time to get that itch cream.
I mean an anti-itch cream.
Don’t want to grab the wrong tube!
Now it sounds more like an orgy!
Almost every conversation we have here ends up in an orgy. Good thing we have Dr. Handle who provides us with condoms.
I still haven’t found one that will fit over my laptop. I guess I’ll have to find the address of the Hung Manshop! Maybe they have a website…
Try wrapping it in Saran Wrap like The Fugs did.
There was that post a while back about the laptop skin. Remember to arrange for ventilation, as PoodleGroomer pointed out.
The tin foil hat should be enough.