The gun muzzle pleases aim at
absolutely not to the person with the animal.
Submitted by: Greveson via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Well, there goes my weekend …
» Glory! 160 Comment
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╔═╦╦╦╦═╦══╗
║═╣║╔╣╚╬╗╔╝
║╔╣║║╠╗║║║
╚╝╚╩╝╚═╝╚╝
i punch you with my
╔═╦╦═╦══╗
║═╣║╚╬╗╔╝
║╔╣║╗║║║
╚╝╚╩═╝╚╝
Try mine!
╔═╦╗╔═╦══╗
║═╣║║╚╬╗╔╝
║╔╣║╠╗║║║
╚╝╚╝╚═╝╚╝
Or this one!
╔═╦╦═╦══╗
║═╣║╚╬╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╗║║║
╚╝╚╩═╝╚╝
Hey,
How come I can’t make my letters look like that?
Was I not invited to the crash course on how to make big letters?
You need a course in HTML, and to know what the font is! I’m afraid I can’t help any further, because my HTML won’t cut it with fonts, and neither will my font recognition with ornamentals.
It is a tasty bit of Copy Pasta.
╔ ═ ╦ ╦ ═ ╦ ═ ═ ╗
║ ═ ╣ ║ ╚ ╬ ╗ ╔ ╝
║ ╔ ╣ ╠ ╗ ║ ║ ║
╚ ╝ ╚ ╩ ═ ╝ ╚ ╝
Just check an ASCII map for the symbols. I didn’t have to, because I just Copy Pasted them from the idiot who posted the “F” word.
How did you do that? When I tried, half the page wanted to get copied with it!
What gets copied seems to depend on the browser. Safari and Firefox both try to copy too much of the page, but different parts.
I am using Firefox. You have to highlight the right part. Or you could manually type out a whole ASCII map yourself, like this:
☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○◙♂♀♪♫☼►◄↕‼¶§▬↨↑↓→←∟↔▲▼ !”#$%&’()*+,-./0123456789:;?@ABCDEFGHIJKLNMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~⌂ÇüéâäàåçêëèïîìÄÅÉæÆôöòûùÿÖÜ¢£¥₧ƒáíóúñѪº¿⌐¬½¼¡«»░▒▓│┤╡╢╖╕╣║╗╝╜╛┐└┴┬├─┼╞╟╚╔╩╦╠═╬╧╨╤╥╙╘╒╓╫╪┘┌█▄▌▐▀αßΓπΣσµτΦΘΩδ∞φε∩≡±≥≤⌠⌡÷≈°∙·√ⁿ²■
Thanks, Meowth. I think I have a better picture of all this now.
Oddly enough, I can copy the “FIST” now (in Safari). Probably helps to know how it’s made up.
It is made of those weird pipe symbols. I’m reminded of the old game Pipe Dream.
╔═╦╦═╦══╗
║═╣║╚╬╗╔╝
║╔╣║╗║║║
╚╝╚╩═╝╚╝, Hey it works. Sorry did I hit anyone with it?
My ╔═╦╦═╦══╗ is clearer. Loosen your hand a little and take off your
║═╣║╚╬╗╔╝ rings.
║╔╣╠╗║║║
╚╝╚╩═╝╚╝
Doh! Comment box is wider than the comment…
╔═╦╦═╦══╗ is a weapon.
║═╣║╚╬╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╗║║║
╚╝╚╩═╝╚╝
You’ve been waiting a long time to bust that one out, haven’t you?
Found you a new one!
╔═╦══╦╦╦══╗
║═╣╔╗║╔╩╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╣║║ ║║
╚╝╚╝╚╩╝ ╚╝
╔═╦══╦╦╦══╗
║═╣╔╗║╔╩╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╣║║ ║║
╚╝╚╝╚╩╝ ╚╝
Try it now…
╔═╦══╦╦╦══╗
║═╣╔╗║╔╩╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╣║║ ║║
╚╝╚╝╚╩╝ ╚╝
No matter how I space it, it comes out the same… Oh well.
Obviously, it comes from Up 2 You, home of the breakfart.
Yes, the brokenfart…
No problem; I find that moving one leg often helps it to pass.
Srsly, I discovered a while back that when you post, any “unnecessary” spaces you put in the Inject Comment box get removed. It makes creativity a bit tricky. I’d substitute a suitable character for the space.
╔═╦══╦╦╦══╗
║═╣╔╗║╔╩╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╣║║O║║
╚╝╚╝╚╩╝O╚╝
On noes! It looks like I followed through!
Excellent! It is now more of a bent fart than a breakfart!
Looks like much more than a fart of any kind to me! Looks like someone needs to go home and change pants…
╔═╦══╦╦╦══╗
║═╣╔╗║╔╩╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╣║║||║║
╚╝╚╝╚╩╝||╚╝
How does this one look, John?
╔═╦══╦╦╦══╗
║═╣╔╗║╔╩╗╔╝
║╔╣╠╣║║║║║
╚╝╚╝╚╩╝║╚╝
Just needed some proper support! That girder should hold it up for a while.
We can’t blame it on the dog this time; obviously it was the cat!
It was the cat in the Engrish Funny with the girder!
So if I don’t want to get shot, I need to grab an animal?
Not sure. If the muzzle does point to the person with the animal, the aim will not be pleased. I think you could still get shot, but something, somewhere, will not be pleased.
I aim to please!
I say, we all hide behind the cat.
I’m hiding behind the guy with the gun.
Sounds like the safest place to be.
Exactly what I was thinking.
laconejita, your
and 
Please ignore the troll behind me. It tends to follow me around from time to time.
DON’T FEED THE TROLL..or it will run after you like swans and geeses..
Feed it dynamite.
I like it !youre a good Kitty!
*Purrrrrrrrrrr*
What about her
and 
?
Aha! I think I see how you make those emoticons, now. Got a linky to a full list of them?
More Emoticons at DesiComments.com
Nothing so fancy. I just viewed the source and saw that they were : evil : and : twisted : without the spaces.
@Meowth: I saw that, but that doesn’t tell us what all the other emoticons are called.
@laconejita: Nice link! I’ll check through it later.
I had a page with a nice list of them, but it said awaiting moderation, and now it has disappeared…
That’s what happens when the moderator says nay. Don’t ask me why that wouldn’t pass muster…
I guess they don’t want people posting emoticons! Good idea, if you ask me. But they can’t stop people from searching Google for wordpress emoticons…
I go to a yabb forum that has a pallette of emoticons (they like ‘em there, and most people don’t over-use them). I noticed that when I selected one emoticon, what appeared in the comment box over there were 2 ASCII characters, which is what I use here. It’s only a limited range, though.
It’s written in LOLspeek, but you can get a guide to HTML hints and tricks at {http://cheeztowncryer.wordpress.com/majik-trikz/}
Speaking of tricks, there’s a trick to posting links on this site.
If I get this right:
&BLUE TEXT;
Nope! I can post links, but I still can’t figure out how to post that instruction as text. Oh, well…
It doesn’t matter. It was one of the first few results in a search for “WordPress emoticons.”
sounds like the gun has morals
Don’t they all?
Remember, it’s not guns that kill people. It’s people that kill people. So it’s people that have no morals.
Actually… guns don’t kill people, uh-uh i kill people with guns!
What about people with pieces of fruit, do you kill them too?
yes…yes I do..
Can you defend yourself against pointed sticks?
Pointed sticks don’t usually attack on their own.
Unlike blunt sticks, which are always beating people senseless all by themselves.
You don’t have to be so blunt about it, though…
yes…?:s
Another Python fan, I see.
Plenty of Python fans here. It was a spectacular Python thread that first made me log on to this site.
Unfortunately, I don’t think any of the commenters from that time are still here.
No, they are just pining for the fjords!
Yes, in fact we are known to do the full Monty around here…
I’d like to go to the cheese shop.
Don’t bother. They don’t have any of the kind you want. They might have some Tuesday.
Nope – the cat’s eaten it.
Oh yeah! I ate it earlier. They don’t have any cheese not. WILL YOU SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOOKI UP?!
Better get a bucket……
As long as it isn’t a bucket of spam.
Eat your Iraqi Government.
Actually, it’s not people that kill people. Wounds and blood loss kill people.
So… I need to grab a person?
Hang on to yourself!
I just hope that the aim is pleased when it doesn’t shoot me.
No. Pleas remain calm. A person will come grab you.
Where’s that e when I need it?
It is in the mail.
No it’s on e buy.
Is ‘e buying ‘imself?
In my experience, pleas seldom remain calm for long. Before you know it, they’re all impassioned and whiny.
And they like bargaining.
All right! Stop that! It’s silly! *handcuffs Meowth and leads him away*
*Easily slips paws out of handcuffs and runs away.*
See, that is the benefit of not having opposable thumbs!
The usual response is: My nipples explode with delight…
HOLY $^*%$^ ON A $&*^% SANDWICH!!!!!!!
Be quiet, I’m practicing my silly walk!
This way is so mad!
Mount Everest…
Even if I were large enough to contemplate that, the dismount could be a killer, too.
The mountain with the biggest t!ts in the world…
But I hear she can be one cold b!tch, especially when high.
Yeah, just make sure she doesn’t smoke the bed.
I’d worry more about that if I were mounting, say, Vesuvius or St. Helens.
They could certainly suck seven item…
Please remain clam.
… chowder?
I could grab both of you, if my arms were 5_000 miles long that is!
You have some long arms there, Paws…
I think he’s joined the Vice Squid. Check his mustache.
Ah! I see! And what a nice mustache it is, too!
The thought of an ice moustache leaves me cold.
It would go well with your ice house.
Well, you’ll have no problem keeping a stiff upper lip, then.
How about an ice beard for the lower lip?
I think not, because three-fourths of it wouldn’t show.
An ice goatee, then?
I’d much rather have a coffee than an ice goat tea!
An ice coffee?
I’ve never had anise in coffee. Is it good?
It depends. Do you like anise beans?
It doesn’t actually say what sort of gun it is. It could be a caulking gun… um, that’s probably not much better… okay, I’m safe as long as I’m walking the dog. Maybe I should put a lizard in my pocket, just to be on the safe side.
Is that a lizard in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Nah, it is a lizard in my pocket, although usually she sits on my shoulder whilst I’m doing anything in the enclosure.
And what is it you do in your, um, enclosure??
Wrangling the lizard??
That’s certainly a new turn of phrase for it!
Well, I’m sure she’s not wrangling the lizard, but the only thing she mentioned other than lizard was the caulking gun, so I guess she’s getting her enclosure caulked. Which is another interesting turn of phrase…
This thread is like a segment from “Whose Line Is It Anyway”, if you know what I mean…
Yes, I’ve had some other threads remind me of that, also. Probably because the production method is similar, although to do that at live comedy speed would be much tougher than this.
Clean up after the lizards, if you must know. See? Perfectly harmless. Siphoning out the pond, trimming the ficus, vacuuming up any substrate from the digging boxes, catching any runaway bugs and feeding them to the lizards. That sort of thing.
At this time of the year, the lizards themselves are at it like rabbits, but I prefer just not to watch.
Is that the World Wrestling logo on the package?
Also, isn’t there a wrestler called Animal? Maybe it’s saying
“Don’t shoot people standing with the wrestler”.
That’s a Muppet drummer.
he eats drums…
Oh, cool. They don’t want to shoot the muppet drummer with Dr. Teeth.
George “The Animal” Steele
that is a Tippmann A5 paintball gun
Thanks for the tip, man.
Don’t be cheap. Tip the man.
It’s not as much fun as tipping cows.
PETA will love this one.
* That’s People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
This is the recommended paintball gun of the People for the Entertaining Tinting of Animals. It got started when they noticed that black and white spotted cows has limits. Note: Paintball Tinting changes into Idiot Stomping when the cow notices that paintballs hurt.
Still (sighs wistfully) it sounds like a FUN organization. Unless you’re a cow. And if you’re a cow, how the heck did you type the above message?
The cows have their own organisation that involves the entertaining tinting of humans. Of course, they don’t have opposable thumbs and can’t operate guns, so they play in a modified fashion. First they eat the paint.
I’m almost scared to ask but…does the painting involve cow patties?
First they eat the paint. It makes its way through the usual channels, then they shoot it at the humans.
To get enough gas pressure, the cows must be eating at Up 2 You.
There are two perspectives to rodeo events. To the cowboys, it is bronco and bull riding. To the horses and bulls, it is idiot stomping.
I’d pay to watch idiot stomping, as long as we can use real idiots rather than people who think they can ride anything!
And the difference between the two is…..?
Real idiots think that people like politicians and estate agents actually earn money!
Let’s not stomp the middlemen. Let’s just have the cows and bulls stomp the politicians and estate agents (not sure about the estate agents but I’ll take your word for it).
Politicians and estate agents think that they earn money; enough said?
So do the good folks at the “healthcare insurance” companies. I’d pay REALLY good money for an opportunity to watch them get stomped…
Rule 2: Never let the muzzle point at anything you are not willing to see get shot.
WELL SLAP MY FRO!
Never shoot anything you are not willing to see dead.
Never shoot at anything without a reason you’re willing to go to jail for.
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There are so many estate agents in the UK, one doesn’t know where to start. I should imagine that due to the current state of the economy though it will be a case of survival of the fittest.