Toilet illumination
Mirror lamp
Shining lamp
Do me lamp
Submitted by: detoam via Engrish Funny Submissions
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This switches on a strobe lamp. And a recording of Prince’s “Controversy” album, apparently.
No that’s the one from Beatles’ “can’t do me laaaamp, can’t do me laaaamp… no no no.. nooo!”
I was thinking “disco ball and Barry White”.
I was just reminded of “Do Me, Baby” on the aforementioned “Controversy” album. Normally, I would agree with you, though I might lean more toward Marvin Gaye and “Let’s Get It On”.
I’m not, and never have been, a Prince fan.
Me neither. I am hearing the squealing young female voices going, “Do it to me baby, uh huh uh huh,” from The Offspring’s “Pretty Fly (for a White Guy).”
Isn’t it “GIVE it to me baby, uh huh uh huh”?
I stand corrected, now that you mention it. And it only took a month and a half for someone to notice!
and only 9 more for someone to realize your math was a month off!
Must. Reach. Switch…!
You might want to try getting up. That usually helps.
I am sitting up!
I am sitting on your face!
That explains why it’s so dark in here.
Do you want me to help you get that troll out of your face? Or should I just turn the lamp on and leave the room?
I have a plan involving firecrackers…
Sit on my faaaaace, and tell me that you looooove meeeeeee…
Life would be such a lot easier if women had one of these on their heads.
It needs to be on her bedside stand, between the alarm reset button and the coffee pot switch. Three simple parts of starting a great day.
Remind me to stay away from men…
Shut up and do me ironing, woman!
Oh, she will iron you!
… And I’ll help her! =)
i like irony-ing that’s what i’m good at!
Well, I certainly need it. Some of these creases I just can’t reach.
Fine. But what use would that be if she were in the kitchen?
Guys don’t have a “do me” switch. It is an indicator light that is lit if he has a pulse. If the woman pushes the switch, it doesn’t matter where she goes, she is going to rock the house until it falls off of the jack stands.
Jake….Want….
Maybe this is the button that you press for when you want your bed to start vibrating.
Tap that.
Missing comma?
“Do me, Lamp”
I LOVE LAMP! … literally. Now it can love me back.
I love… carpet.
I love… desk.
Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
I love lamp.
Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
I love lamp. I love lamp.
But unlike carpet and desk, lamp can love you back, at least in the sense of “Each you fifteen dollah, me love you long time!”
Such a good movie.
I don’t think you really love lamp – I think you’re just saying that to get it into bed.
No really! I love Lamp! It “lights up my life”!
Well, I personally prefer the lights off if when you do me.
But if the lights are going to be off, what was the point of installing mirrors on the ceiling?
What about the pink champagne on ice?
We are all just prisoners here??
of our own device.
I didn’t know this was a “bring your own device” party! I left all my devices home!
Take a peek in the hall closet!
I’m afraid to…
If you forgot your device, a device will be provided. We recommend that you learn how to use it.
Now go out there and have fun.
may i illuminate your toilet?
I still have my tool belt, if anyone needs anything.
See Jane use PVC. Oh, Jane, oh!
This must be a fancy place. They have “toilet illumination”, I bet this makes your pee glow in the dark.
don’t forget glowing poo XP
That’s Toilet Shark with her lamp… the lamp must turned on!
It’s a distant cousin of mine, Anglerfish. He’s visiting for a couple of weeks. We’re trying to see if his lure works on ice-cream. No joy so far.
yep, that’s totaly normal…
That would be a handy evolutionary adaptation, as men who had this feature might avoid being killed by the women in their lives…
Just because you are paranoid, it doesn’t mean that your wife is not trying to kill you.
It’s only a handy evolutionary adaptation if it reminds the man 1) not to piddle on the seat, and 2) to put the seat back down when he’s finished. THAT is what will stave off husbandicide.
Dear Doctor, Where is the accent on that word “husbandicide”? It seems to fall naturally, for me, on the “band” portion of the word but I want to pronounce it correctly when using it on my dearly beloved.
I have a simple arrangement in that regard with my wife. I will put the seat down if she will put the lid down. And if the man fails to put the seat up when he is finished, that is generally a far more forgiveable offense than failing to put it up before he starts.
Look, you need it down. I sometimes need it up. You’re a big girl; learn to move it when you need to.
Ahh, if only men would learn how to hit the target, they probably wouldn’t even need to put the seat up.
Couldn’t agree more Laconejita! In my house if I put the seat down after my husband used it, I’d come away with a wet hand. Here’s the TRUE solution: everyone gets their own pot.
And I thought it was an aeroplane toilet call button. Mile High club anyone?
NOOO! Don’t touch that switch!! You’ll summon the STUD MASTER!!!
an if its not a woman?
then it’s shawshank redemption all over.
Actually it’s a DOME lamp: that annoying lamp that reflects off your shining skull just to remind you how irretrievably bald you really are.
DING!
Explanations are dull. Never the less, the third character *is* DING3, meaning “top” etc.
You thought that was an explanation? Tit.
The Shining lamp turns on a giant hologram of Jack Nicholson’s face. “Heeere’s Johnny”
adnoxious.blogspot.com
Taking aim at lousy advertising
Wow, that’s three genuine Engrish submissions in a row.
Maybe there is hope for this place yet…
Wow, this hotel has a service for everything!
It’s the only one on. I guess they don’t want to see anything whilst they get biblical.
For some reason I thought Beatles:
Do, do me, lamp
You know I’ve a cramp
I’m getting quite damp
So do… do me, la-amp!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
yeah…
Do me, I’m the best !!!
i don’t have one of those switches, that might explain why i never get laid
Oh boy, I cannot really explain why, but this one got me laughing really hard for about 20 minutes now… can´t seem to stop… guess seeing the do me lamp blew some fuses in my head…
Aaah… hilarious!
OK. Please, please, somebody give out the Japanese translation. This needs it so bad.
That’s a serious turn on.