Stalactite don’t rise again, please take good care of her!
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Long Live Stalagmites!
Funny, my husband said the same thing last night.
*KA-CHING!!!*
Thank you! I’m here all week!
LuvBJones says,
“Can I has Stalactite?”
Well, that’s certainly an interesting ‘point’ to make…
Stalactites never rise. Stalagmites rise from the ground; stalactites descend from the ceiling. And I wasn’t aware that either had gender, although they both look rather phallic to me. But what do I know, I’m no geologist…
I was actually going to bring up the phallic point myself…
I think the whole gender assigning to inanimate objects generally sways towards “hers” anyway.
I always thought Stalagmites “lag” on the ground…
This is a much better way to remember!
I’ve always heard stalactites stick tight to the ceiling but you might trip over stalagmites.
For those who can spell stalagmite and stalactite:
stalaGmites are on the Ground,
stalaCtites are on the Ceiling.
Note to self: read all comments first.
Tenacious D says it best: Stalactite, hold on tight. Stalagmite, might poke you in the ass.
In my day we needed Sesame Street for that kind of wisdom.
If you can’t blurt here; where?
I like to keep my blurtion quotient as low as possible.
I was always taught it as “the ‘tites come down, and the ‘mites grow up”. (say it to yourself)
sounds like an old time song
♫Take good care of my Stalactite
Now that she’s reaching for the sky.
We put these signs around her
And hope that you won’t pound her
So she will rise as years go by. ♫
win
I will off fighting stalactites so that they don’t rise again. Please take good care of her in case I don’t make it back.
PS: I spelled stalactites correct. Many of you are calling them Stalagmites. They get offended when you change their race name.
Please read my note a couple of slots above yours. Stalactites and stalagmites are two different words, and the ones that “rise” from the ground are in fact stalagmites. (The simple mnemonic device for remembering which is which is that stalagmites with a “g” start on the ground, while stalactites with a “c” start on the ceiling.) Sorry to be playing Mr. Science Man instead of giving the lolz, but I kind of have to get the internal pedant out of the way before I can get the comedian to take over.
Boy, you need to chill out. This isn’t an English class. It’s an Engrish class.
This is a site where we have fun with mistakes in written expression. We play hard, and mistakes that people make in posts are just as much fair game as those in the pictures. The primary purpose is to have fun, but we also have a number of regulars who are marvelous sources of information about many different subjects, and so a secondary benefit of the site is that we do learn things. I already apologized for slipping a serious post in, and had planned on saying nothing else but funny things, but now you’ve gone and caused me to make another serious post. I am quite chilled already, and have a blast on this site, and I’ve received enough feedback to know that some other people also enjoy many of my posts. The banter here can get quite high-level, as there are many educated and well-informed people here, as well as some specialists in obscure subjects, so if you find a tidbit of information offensive, this may not be the place for you. So pipe down and let my brain work on the funnies, not the facts!
No worries, JohnB. Some of us (ir)regulars love your comments. Unlike those by a repeater on the other Engrish site, I look forward to your multiple comments (insert thumbs-up emoticon here).
Ok thank you for your correction. Now that you got the internal pedant out of the way, we can all enjoy you better
I like that mnemonic, those two words have always been hard for me to remember. Plus, I only have to remember “g” for ground, because if the “g” ain’t thar it’s “ceiling.”
Stalactites hold ‘tite’ to the ceiling. Stalagmites grow with all their ‘mite’ from the ground. Another easy way to remember.
Considering that the Chinese contains words like 乳 (milk, breast; here part of 钟乳石 “conglomerated milky stone”=>stalactite), and 你我 (you and me) followed by 相爱 which would mean “to love each other” if it weren’t for the context, I think they could easily have done far, far worse with this translation!
Do tell!
Sounds like it could have said, “I love you like conglomerated milky stone.” I think I’ll make a card like that for my wife on our anniversary!
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS A SERIOUS SPECULATION!!! If the Chinese use “conglomerated milky stone” to refer to the cave formations, they may well not have two different words for stalactite and stalagmite.
I am sure she will love that. Please take good care of her.
I was referring to the post of sending the card to your wife.
Yes, I’m sure those words would make her melt, like softened coagulated milky stone…
Wear an apron when presenting it, though. No, on second thought, wear Kevlar.
Kevlar vests don’t protect the erm…stalagmites. I suggest a good ole’ fashioned athletic cup.
I would guess that it was intended to convey the message that such formations, being only limestone and taking a very long time to form, are fragile, and as such visitors are asked to take care not to damage them becuase if one is damaged it will take many years to reform. But frankly, I like the Engrish version much better.
Yes, I have been on a couple of cavern tours lately, and the guides are very careful to admonish us not to touch any of the formations, since apparently the oils found in human skin are very destructive to such structures.
I was hoping someone would give the actual translation because all my brain could come up with was *spark*fizzle*, but after rereading the sign, I bet that’s exactly what it’s referring to.
Yes, I’ve gotta say I was surprised to actually understand what they were getting at with this one.
And it’s “mite” because it “mite” reach the ceiling and “tite” because it’s holding tite to the same, kyoh!
I guess even stalactites have to grow up and have responsibilities : P
I guess that’s why they refer to it as “her,” since as we know, men tend to do their d@mndest to avoid growing up!
I dun’ wanna.
me neither. pass me the cheeze whiz.
*passes*
*whizzes*
Oh no, oh no, HALP! Here we go again…
Stalactite don’t rise again, doo-dah, doo-dah…
You please take good care of her, oh, doo-dah day!.
While it’s still amusing, I think this was Photoshopped. The letters are uniform until you get to “her”.
I noticed that, too.
i guess no cumingtonite?
That sounds like viagra for Superman.
nop, just your average magnesium iron silicate hydroxide (metamorphic mineral), but it is often found with hornblende.
Sadly, as soon as I saw this I thought “With that caption, and that sign…They’re speaking of feathertail!” X3 ….If you’re not a warriors fan, you obviously won’t get it >.>, shame on you! XD
Stalactite is not Jesus. Thank you for understanding.
Grab your lute and sing for the freshly-broken-off stalactite: “Down, down, down I fall/ A-and arise, a-and arise I never shall!”
(I think it was set by Dowland. Second Book of Songs? Modulo spelling.)
Nice post. engrishfunny.com deserves an oscare.