Everyday high price!!
Submitted by: lastSKYsamurai via Engrish Funny Submissions
Den Den Town, Osaka.
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For the wealthy
gas station?
Looks like a storefront shop.
Come on over and get your purchases done here. No need to ask for a discount or bring coupons over. We don’t do any of that. Our motto here is “Everyday High Price”
We guarantee to double any price you find anywhere else, or we will charge you an extra fee if we can’t!
“Baiku Ou” = Bike King, a big bicycle shop.
Sorry, I should say “bike shop”, not “bicycle”
At least check your facts. This is store that only BUYS bikes from customer and does NOT sell to customer. They are advertising that they buy out the bikes at high price. Right above to store name of Baiku Ou (means Bike King) says that the store specializes in buying out bikes.
wow – dude, big chuckle kill, thanks
I feel JohnB about to start his diatribe.
Ladies and Gentlemen….
I’d like to present…
JohnB
Dont worry hell be here soon….
Let’s welcome to the stage, with a brief diatribe on ‘not killing the funnay’ …..
Mr……
JohnB
Give him a round of applause…..
Give him
Around Dove
Apple Laws
What?
He is? Wha? What? He’s not here yet?
*tell the band to play an extra 15 minutes*
Go check the green room, see if he’s in there…
He’s at the risky laundry. The monkeys lost his shirts in the forest and they can’t find them.
OK, he’s here?
Now, without further adieu,
We present JohnB and ‘how not to mess with the funnay’ and ‘how not to be a groove kill’….
[applause]
Um, he’s still not here… say, have you ever seen a shark tap-dance?
No diatribe today. In fact, not even a monotribe. Let’s just say never let reality interfere with a good funny! ‘Nuff said?
[band plays off JohnB]
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s give it up for JohnB…..
once again…..JohnB…..
JohnB has left the building!
Hope he can remember where he left it.
Behind. That’s where I left it.
hidden fees are a thing of the past!
We tell you up front about the extra charges!
and then we hide more fees behind those!
telling you about fees is also a NEW FEE!!!!
So, if you like spending. We are the store for you. Just so you know there is also a fee for parking in our parking lot.
We spend like maniacs, give money away, and pass our costs on to you
Lord-a-mercy, you’re our government aren’t you?
Hey, I was about to say that!
So how do we make a profit? That’s easy, volume!
HI! BILLY MAYS HERE! WE SPEND LIKE MANIACS, GIVE MONEY AWAY, AND PASS OUR COSTS ON TO YOU!!!
OK! You didn’t need to turn the volume up to 12!
NO, WE DIDN’T! WE’VE NOW SCALED IT BACK TO A MORE COMFORTABLE 10! BUT IF YOU DON’T BUY OUR NEW “PERFECT 10,” YOU’LL BE STUCK WITH ADVERTIZERS LIKE US CRANKING THE VOLUME OF YOUR SET BEYOND THE LIMITS OF HUMAN ENDURANCE! YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. YOU’VE JUST BEEN LISTENING TO A DRAMATIC PASSAGE IN WHICH EVERYBODY INSISTS ON WHISPERING, AND THEN SUDDENLY, WHAM! THERE’S THIS COMMERCIAL RATTLING YOUR EARS AND SHAKING YOUR FURNITURE! IT’S ENOUGH TO WAKE THE DEAD, IF YOU’LL PARDON MY LITTLE PUN HERE!
this store emphasizes the costs in limbs.
That’s how they keep limber.
The limbest are all members of the Vice Squid.
Please stop by the desk and provide us with your credit card number for a convenient monthly fee. Please note that there will be an extra fee for this service
I wish to speak with the manager, please. The cashier under-charged me.
Mrs Anna Rexia,
We are very sorry and promise this won’t happen again.
And to show that we really want to keep your business, we will charge you the annual membership and will extend an extra charge just for you.
And for a small increase in your monthly fee, plus a large one-off administration charge we will automatically upgrade you to our new “Gold Account”. Should you decide not to take this upgrade please let us know as soon as possible, and we will reduce you to our standard account on receipt of payment of our one-off administration fee.
This whole truth in advertising really seems to be taking off in Engrish – how can we translate this to (what passes for) the real world?
There’s a great deal more truth in advertising in the US than people often realize. How many times have you heard the claim, “Nothing works better than Killital for the relief of headache pain”? What they’re actually saying is they did a study, and the placebo control beat the hell out of Killital. Ergo, “nothing” really DOES work better than Killital!
When I have a headache, I take a Dammitol.
I swear by it.
Actually, recent research shows that swearing does improve our capacity to deal with pain, so perhaps instead of swearing by it, you ought to swear at it!
Why don’t they just sell placebo-inna-tin? Come to think of it, why can’t they do that, and just double the amount of active ingredient, market it as Placebo Plus? “Use only as directed by your pharmacist. If pain persists, stop being so bloody rational”.
Oh, there’s no end to the cleverness of drug manufacturers. Patent running out? Come up with a new form, or combine it with something else, and it’s “new and improved.” Like for migraine sufferers, the patent on Imitrex was running out, so now they put some over-the-counter NSAID in with it, and sell it as something new. For that matter, “Excedrin Migraine,” which consists of exactly the same ingredients as regular Excedrin, but costs more because it says “Migraine” on the label! No joke!
And BTW, if you’re ever in a hospital or nursing home and start getting something called “Cebocaps,” it means you have been put on a placebo. So they do actually make genuine placebo capsules! And if you’re getting them, it means, well, to put it delicately, your doctor thinks your just f*cking nuts!
“Your just f*cking nuts”??? YOU’RE setting a great example, aren’t you, you sloop you?? *ding*
But I AM just f*cking nuts! You can ask my wife! Let me rephrase that…
Get away from that can of peanuts! It’s much too young!
After my second cardiac surgery, I was given a painkiller that was not morphine, as I had a bad reaction to that the first time. When I asked what the new stuff was called, the nurse told me some name that didn’t make much sense, and I couldn’t find any reference to it later. (I’ve forgotten it now).
I often wondered if they gave me a placebo. I don’t recall being in chronic pain on either occasion.
Believe it or not, placebos have side effects, often more severe than the actual drug.
I have great faith in the power of a well-timed chocolate biscuit and a cup of tea. That’s my cure for everything from a seized engine to post-op knee pain, on the grounds that it can’t ppossibly make the situation worse.
I wouldn’t say that. It looks like all that caffeine has doubled your p output.
Oh, you dreadful punster, you…
The billing office has found a way to add $30 per capsule to your tab.
Everybody knows that more expensive medicines always work better!
Walmart’s Anti-Christ…
Prices so high, even Jesus can’t save here.
That’s why he’s set up that little wine-making stand out front.
BILLY MAYS HERE AGAIN, THANKS TO THE POWER OF JESUS WINE! YES, JESUS MAKES A WINE SO POWERFUL, THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHALL NOT DIE, BUT SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE!! NOW THAT’S SOME POWERFUL WINE, FOLKS…
So true…
+900 points if you thought of the possibility that they are advertising the price that they BUY things. +1000 points if you thought about the improbability that words like “high” and “low,” like “yes” and “no” or “right” and “left,” are confused in countries like Japan or China. Get real, English may be universal, but it’s not as hard as you might like to think if your SAT score is as poor as it is.
I’m not killing a joke or anything. I’m just saying that to enjoy this as a joke, you’d have to be as stupid as the stupid mistake you think you’re laughing at.
I guess we have to say this over and over because no one ever bothers to read earlier posts: no one thinks that Chinese or Japanese or any other country has stupid people in it making lots of erros in English. We don’t use this site to put other cultures down. Sorry if you think we do but it’s just not true. We use the posted signage to jump off into our own weird version of humor. We pun, we use whimsy, we laugh at our silly selves. It’s not now nor has it ever been about laughing at the Asians. Jeez Louise, fella, no one is attacking you!
If you can’t have fun with this site, try the Fail Blog. You’ll see just how often we English-speakers laugh at ourselves. Peace.
I’m pointing out that you look stupid to anyone in the know. You got the memo, and you got a memo explaining it. There is so much funny Engrish on this site that knowledgeable people can enjoy.
Granted, I’m sending you mixed messages. On one hand, I’m trying to be nice and point out when lay people are embarrassing themselves. On the other hand, I hate lay people.
This isn’t funny if you know what it says. This is a company that hires people with motorcycles to deliver items to businesses in downtown Tokyo. Therefore and everyday hight price is a good thing when referring to salary.
It’s the fact they use the words “high price” that makes this Engrish, and made most of us assume they were selling something. If they’re the ones paying the money, then pointing that out would be a good idea.
SB is close, and may be right, but the sign actually says the place BUYS bikes. It may or may not be in the delivery business.
There are countless examples in the United States of businesses that advertise “high prices” for buying back used stuff like cars or bikes, so that’s simply not engrish. I can understand you’re expecting a mistake if you come to this site, but if you think for a minute, even a foreigner is unlikely to confuse “high” and “low.” This site really just needs someone to go through and check that these LOLs aren’t actually duds. You can agree that duds are disappointing, right?
Just because it doesn’t say they buy bikes in a language you can read, doesn’t mean they don’t say it. Japan is semi-notorious for this, as English is basically used for emphasis.
I’ve heard it said [many times] that Japanese like English Words, but not English itself, and frankly, I understand why given the incredible complexity of the English language compared to Japanese. (Character-set issues with Japanese aside for a moment)
Advertising is the key to a successful business. TV advertising is very effectice, but can be quite expensive. Not any more now there is Tri-state TV Video and Radio advertising. Just $99.00 per month. This price can not be beat…………..
We Provide Free Rapidshare Premium Account and Free adult Premium Membership also Offshore hosting so guys hurry up don’t miss it.
Still some companies showing something in advertising and when you go to store to purchase, you get different thing at different price.
There is much truth in advertising in the U.S. that most people realize. How many times have you heard the application, Killital nothing better than to relieve headaches.