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How about that, I just got fired from that place and this describes it perfectly!
to be fair though, generally the amount of toppings packed on top will make the process take longer.
I bet you cant eat even 1 Pizza
Beat you by 13 minutes!
Of course, that’s pretty much the definition of any pizza found outside the U.S.
You haven’t tried Pizza Express in the UK. Fabulous pizza!
Ya, but to an American, the world does not exist outside the US border.
Hey, hey, hey! Watch that, bub! Or we Americans will force you to actually EAT a Little Caesars pizza.
You’ll be sorry then!
Nah. At Guantanamo, I have it on good authority that the detainees are forced to subsist on a diet of Chuck E. Cheese pizza. Complete with performing robots! Thank God Obama is closing the place! That’s GOT to be cruel and unusual punishment.
And the change machines for all of the rides are all out of tokens.
Judging by the rate at which children fling tokens into the machines, then demand more money for more tokens, I’d consider that an undue kindness!
As a grandparent of 12, I can attest that Chuck E. Cheese is a chance for your little one to rip your wallet apart and then have a meltdown when you can’t or won’t provide them with more money. They’ve got a con bigger than Maddow’s.
not as a grandparent, but as an uncle of 19 little gremlins, I know exactly what your talking about.
the moment I turned 16 they had me at chuck-e-cheese’s(one of my nephews had a party right after mine and all of the gremlins were invited) and had my first paycheck already halfway in the machines and the cash registers… and we all left with a few crappy plastic toys and food poisoning.
Okay, I have not been in the UK since 1995. The pizza I had there then, at several different establishments, was universally hideous. I am prepared to believe that Pizza Express just might not serve pizza with flabby, nasty-tasting crust, over-sweetened and under-spiced tomato sauce, and insipid cheese, but I wouldn’t bet money on that.
No, I’m pretty sure you have that the wrong way around. Edible pizza is hard to find IN the U.S. You guys seem obsessed with those damned thick and boring pizzas without any interesting toppings on them.
Obviously you’re ignorant about pizza in the US. In my city alone, you can order pizza done every way from a very thin, crispy crust to deep dish style, on up to pizza _pie_, which is at least 2″ deep and has a layer of crust on top (usually thin) and sometimes more cheese on top of that. Toppings (or fillings, as the case may be) also vary widely.
Now tell us all about the wide array of pizzas available in your city (or country).
Regardless of how good (or otherwse) it tastes, anything with a base more than about 1/4 inches thick, is a form of bread and cheese, not a pizza. that said, I could take you to places that come up with anything from real pizza bases to 1inch “Chicago deep pan”, and calzoni (sp, used phonetic) and other than classics like cheese(s), salami (all styles), ham & pineapple, and quattro staggioni also offer things like chicken tikka, chicken and chilli, seafood… toppings.
Clearly, this is an area of research that hitherto has been sadly neglected. I suggest that we put together a research proposal and apply for a grant – the project will require a team of researchers to travel around the world, sampling pizza in its many incarnations and interpretations across all the continents. It’ll be tough, but if enough people participate, I think we can get enough replicate results to pull together a comprehensive study. Who’s up for it?
How about anyone posting in this sub-thread to this time? I’m not actually Italian, but my favourite pizzarias have real Italians in the kitchens.
But… But… Pizza was originally invented in Greece!
The Greeks also claim to have invented kebabs, bagpipes and kilts.
In the case of bagpipes, to make such a claim suggests poor judgment. Let the Scots take the blame for that!
If you’re in Amsterdam, you should have the company called Spuntino deliver a pizza at your place. It’s around €8 per pizza, but the pizza is the size of a car wheel (it can’t be more than 5 cm smaller). They have delicious pizza’s, from what I can recall from the two times we ordered pizza at their restaurant. We were at school, and about two to three hours later, the school party would start (it would end at 23.30, Dutch timezone) and the entire class (25 people, not counting teachers) ordered. Mmmmm……
I’m in.. I need a vaca.. I mean, I’m always looking for tough research opportunities to include in my CV later..
I’ve always admired your scientific spirit and am willing to be a part of any pizza research team you head! All expenses paid of course.
Of course; that’s what the grant money is for, salaries and expenses.
Count me in!
now THAT, sir, is a stereotype; I live right in the center of the USA and I F###ING HATE thick crust pizza. typically a thick crust pizza would be in chicago, but to me the toppings are the most important thing.
Well, mate, you should try pizza from Italy or Brazil. American pizza is rubbish.
I was about to defend the honor of my local pizza joint, and then I remembered my FAVORITE local chef is from Brazil. I haven’t had any pizza from her, but everything else she makes absolutely knocks my socks off. Is Brazil inhabited by excellent cooks?
The local guy has good pizza and calzone too.
Oddly enough, for all the stereotyping of Americans being food obsessed, having mouthwatering meter wide pizza’s and burgers the size of large children everywhere… American food is terrible 0.o
I expected food BETTER then what you get locally here, but I couldn’t seem to enjoy any American food… all the Americans I know who came here even agree that our food is completely better in every way then American food…
Your chocolate is dry, your pizza toppings are skimpy, the burgers are sloppy (plus I can’t seem to tell what half the ingredients are…) and don’t even BOTHER looking for a halfway decent Iced Coffee.
So why your saying “non-US pizza sucks” is beyond me…
I think they need to work on their sales presentation. How about, “Exotic Food, Freshly Crisp”?
Inteesting, but FAIL.
THAT is authentic lulz
i see you
my avatars eyes are fixed up while he eats spam
Truth in advertising win!
“Betcha can’t eat even one!”
At Least they are honest.
If the food is inedible, I can’t say that I really care whether it’s finished or not. A fully cooked Army boot is not likely to be any better than one just parboiled.
It isn’t?
*Spits chunks of fully cooked boot*
Ah, you’re not a reader of Pratchett, then.
Not yet.
You probably should. I always advise everyone to start with “The Colour of Magic”, not because it’s the best or the funniest, but because it contains background for all the others. Dr Handle is thinking of an incident in “The Monstrous Regiment”, which can be read and enjoyed by anyone, but it’s best to be aware that the British army often refers to a Second Lieutenant (lowest commissioned rank, probably just graduated from Military Academy with a commission) as a “Rupert”.
EEK!
I agree with the endorsement of Pratchett, but I MUST disagree with the recommendation to start with Colour of Magic. If I had started with that one, I’d probably never have read another one. (And then I wouldn’t be on my way to NADWCON this weekend!)
Several friends have indicated the same – “You always talk about how great Pratchett is, but I read Colour of Magic and it bored me out of my mind!” or other variations on that theme. I always have to beg them to give it another try, with a different book.
I recommend starting with Small Gods, as it’s more or less a stand-alone book and doesn’t require an indepth understanding of who the “regulars’ are, but it gives you a good feel for Pratchett’s style, and introduces you to the Discworld in general. For people who would consider the idea of a god existing because men need something to believe in a Vile Heresy, then perhaps something like The Truth, Going Postal, or Men At Arms. (Or of course Equal Rites for those of feminist sensibilities.)
The thing about Pratchett and Discworld is that with very few exceptions, you CAN jump into any old book and just read, and figure it out as you go. (One of the witches’ books does require the backstory, you’d be lost without it; but he summarizes before the first chapter.) When you know who’s who and what’s what, of course, then there’s a whole ‘nother layer of enjoyment – but that’s the best part of re-reading!
Rabid Pratchett fan, signing off..
I think that if you read The Colour Of Magic and The Light Fantastic, you get a lot of background to the Discworld, how it works, Ankh-Morpork, Rincewind’s place in the scheme of things, and an intro to Death, of course… it’s true that he probably didn’t really hit his stride with what we would now think of as truly Pratchettism until “Mort” (the fourth one?) then “Wyrd Sisters” (the intro to the Lancre witches). You can easily skip “Sourcery” and “Equal Rites” as stand-alone stories, but after that, there is benefit from reading them in order.
Yes, The Colo(u)r of Magic might just put you off. It’s okay, but Pratchett was sort of feeling his way and it’s not his best although it provides a lot of useful background. Men At Arms would be a reasonable starting point, or, yes, Small Gods. I’d even consider Pyramids: mostly it’s not about things you encounter in the other books of the series, but it gives you a pretty good look at Discworld from an unusual angle, and it’s enough fun to give you a real taste of what to expect in the other books.
You probably CAN jump into pretty much any book, start reading, not be too disoriented, and want to read others.
He’s definitely at the top of my list of Authors I Will Read if I Ever Have Time to Read for Pleasure Again. Right now, just getting time to read Things I Have to Read for Work and Degree is tough. Engrish Funny is one of the very few things I do just for fun.
Also, I thought he was referring to the incident… dang, I can’t remember which book it’s in, but it’s with the beggars (Foul Ol’ Ron, Arnold Sideways, etc)… well, here’s from the LSpace site:
“One upscale establishment found all its supplies mysteriously replaced by muddy old boots on a busy night. They rallied in Iron Chef style with creations like:
* Mousse de la Boue dans une Panier de la Pâte de Chaussures.
* Brodequin rôti façon Ombres
* Languette braisée
* Sole d’une Bonne Femme (Servis dans un Coulis de Terre en l’Eau)
* Et, dernier…Café de Terre”
(In other words, all the posh patrons were eating mud and boots all night – and loving it. So very avant garde, you know!)
“He said the steak was good, but a bit tough.”
“All right. Hit the shoes a few more times with the mallet, and boil them a bit longer next time.” (Not an exact quote, since I haven’t got the book near me)
Wasn’t that in “Hogfather”, after Death (who was filling in for the Hogfather) pinched all the fancy food from the fancy restaurant, and gave it to The Canting Crew (Foul Ole Ron et al.)?
At least the reason for it not being completely eaten is stated up front.
It says, “semifinished.” I was assuming this meant it had been stained but not yet varnished.
Powder coat has to dry before being run through the oven.
半成品， 请勿食用。
Ban chengpin, qing wushiyong.
Uncooked food, please don’t eat.
Well dang, that takes all the fun out of it, doesn’t it.
*kicks can, walks away pouting*
Never let reality get in the way of insane fun.
Really? That’s what it translates to?
But the sign seems to be behind serving trays…
spacing fail, it’s qingwu shiyong
actually its “qing wu shiyong” — qing (please) wu (do not) shiyong (eat).
My knowledge of Chinese is quite rudimentary, but I had thought about commenting that I thought “wu” was a word that stood alone, since I’m familiar with it from the term “wu wei” (doing nothing).
Can you translate this into snail language? I want copies of this sign all around my garden.
pu shallow pans of beer all around your garden, and the snails will drown themselves. I imagine it’s a happy death.
Hey, somebody stole my “t.” Maybe it was a snail…
I hope that works with cheap beer, ’cause I ain’t gonna waste any Young’s Double Chocolate Stout on Snail-o-cide..
Nah, use something cheap and nasty, like XXXX or Fosters. Snails aren’t picky.
We should see if a pan of Vegemite attracts or repels them.
I tried beer traps a few years back, but I can pick up more snails by hand in 2 minutes than the traps ever caught in a month.
The Vegemite trick might be worth a try. Apparently it’s the yeast that attracts snails, and maybe the salt will dehydrate them.
Just remembered something odd that snails seem to like: envelope gum! I remember when my neighbour was away for a while and his letterbox was locked, when he got back the snails had been chewing the edges of the paper on the envelopes.
I pick up the snails in the backyard and feed them to my male water dragon. The female dragons seem to like to chase and eat speckled roaches, but the male seems to enjoy snails because they don’t move much, and he doesn’t have to make much effort to get a feed. Apparently, it’s not just a Y-chromosome thing, it can also be a ZZ thing.
Get a duck! Watching a pet duck gobble snails at high speed is a blast!
And if the snails are already in the beer, you get to watch the duck get drunk, too!
The police said that you can tell when a duck is drunk by watching him not waddle and walk in a straight line.
Oh no! We’re gonna get sued!
The translation isn’t *that* bad. It appears to be a place where they make pizzas that you take home to cook.
Correct translation: “half-finished food, please do not eat”
These instructions are just half-baked.
Dude, Pizza hut is in almost every country in Europe and South America. You can’t base american pizza off of pizza hut and etc. I’d guarantee that most countries have access to both excellent and awful pizza.
THANK YOU!!
finally a comment that makes sense!
You cant just base ANYTHING of a country as big as the USA on one or two sh!tty restaurants. I can find wonderful and delicious food and horrible and inedible food within 5 miles of my house of all varieties and its like that all over the country (and immigration from the originating places helps to diversify this)
Pizza Hut is garbage from frozen old ingredients, that’s why I love Little Caesars~!
well I wouldnt eat at either one of them; I have seen the kitchens and most in my area have SERIOUS sanitation problems… and they both taste like crap in my opinion anyway. now mazzios has good management in my area and they have good thin crust pizza so thats my favorite.
at least they’re honest! I hope there are grey, non-identified blobs and chunks in it, they’re my favourite
But… I like Little Caesar’s…