Sauces
Mushroom/Monkey Gland/d Cheese/Creamy Garlic o
Famous spice chilli sauce
Submitted by: leonie via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Cheezburger Company Blog
FIRST !
congratulations, you’re mediocre!
Don’t be so unrealistically complimentary!
Brings a fresh new meaning to spanking the monkey. Now only 1.99 a bottle!
0_o What size bottles are these, and how long does it take you to fill one?
mmm monkey sauce
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
Sorry to drop in but you might like to know that this is not actually an “Engrish” mistake. This photograph was probably taken in a South African steakhouse.
No Monkeys are involved or any of their Glands! It is not know where this name comes from, but it is such an inherent part of South African cuisine that most of us take little heed to the literal meaning of the name.
It is true though, that you have not eaten steak until you have had Monkey Gland Sauce over a steak!
1. Saute 2 Large Onions and 3 Sliced Cloves Garlic in some Olive Oil.
2. Add 100ml Cup Stock or water, Ground Black Pepper to taste, Salt to taste, 25ml prepared Mustard or 5ml Mustard Powder, 25ml Worcestershire Sauce, 3 Tablespoon Port Wine, 1 Tablespoon Red Wine, 2 Teaspoons Soy Sauce, 1/2 Cup Tomatoe Puree, 50ml Kutchup, 1/2 Cup Fruit Chutney, 10ml Grated Ginger Root.
3. Simmer for 30minutes or more. Can be stored in the fridge for two weeks and in the freezer for four months.
This Sauce is just as good over Swiss or Italian MeatBalls or even over pasta.
wow, looks like I missed out. That does sound good.
So could you use this sauce over real monkey glands?
If you’ve got the balls for it.
Only if the monkey consents.
Was just about to point that out, thanks africat.
Reduced sauces have a deep, slow cooked flavor. I like to hold back 1/4 of the ingredients and add them 3 minutes before finishing. It brightens the flavor by replacing the lighter components that evaporated during the simmer.
Chef Groomer, can I come eat at your house? You sound like you know your way around a sauce pan.
My poodle does like to sit in the kitchen doorway and watch me cook. He thinks I make great things happen. I need to find fruit chutney.
I just compared lists of ingredients. Fruit chutney is a lot like ketchup with the addition of apple, pear, and sultanas,(I suspect some chutneys may even contain dates) so if you can’t find any, you could fake it OK.
I think if the sultana had a date, the monkey glands would be superfluous.
I think the sultan might be quite upset if he finds out.
If the sultana’s having a date with the sultan, she wants to make sure that he is at peak performance, so they both have a good time.
If he’s sultan and she’s already sultana, that implies that they’re already married. Technically, can you go on a date with your spouse?
It is what most married couples call leaving the kids somewhere, eating out, and having vigorous raucous carnality so loud that it would scare pets and children.
Which beats a mere date any day in my book!
That’s actually a great tip! I had discovered the joys of reduced sauces some years back, but never thought to do that, which makes a lot of sense. You are a man of diverse knowledge.
I prefer to think of it as a junk yard brain. I have mounds of semi-sorted stuff. Give me a little digging time and I can find the most amazing things that I have encountered, read, or done in life.
Likewise; I refer to it as a packrat mind, or a mine of useless data, though.
We seem to be three of a kind! I just say, “I’m full of it.”
I was just going to say the same thing (though possibly not in as much detail).
Bugger it all, I could go for a Spur burger slathered in monkey gland sauce right now.
Why did I move, again?
Spur burger… monkey glands… to get away from the food?
maybe you got sick of mielipaap and boerwurst? j/k
Crashed grain and a sausage made from farmers?
Boerewors. We are not german.
This is why I read the comments here. Someone usually knows what the engrish or non-engrish is really trying to say.
That’s why we’re all here. Purely for the educational value.
That’s right. No unauthorised levity here.
All of the levity here is authorized. After all, it is engrishfunny.com!
I had a hamburger with monkey gland sauce in Johannesburg once, so i was about to post that this isn’t technically Engrish myself. but my friends there let me believe it was actually made from some gland from an actual monkey. i guess i’ll have to scratch ‘monkey’ off my list of animals i’ve eaten (which about doubled while i was in Joburg of course, haha. we ate at the blue train.) – unless i can find one around here somewhere of course. i live in the Philippines now, so that should be possible, but pretty much all the monkeys around here have been eaten by the locals and the Philippine eagle by now, so who knows. i may have missed the boat
.
OhHAI Africat. Ah nawt noes U reedz Engrish 2!
I had a burger with monkey gland sauce last Fri at Hurricanes Bar in Darling Harbour, Sydney, Australia. Very tasty, a bit like a chutney with bbq sauce in it. Thanks for the recipe above
Must be in South Africa. I never did try it, when I was there, simply because of the name.
You can buy ready-made meals in UK Supermarkets in Monkey Gland Sauce. Not everyone here will have heard of it, but it’s becoming more and more popular.
Really? I checked my Sainsbury’s, sounds like good stuff to me
Why not call it onion and garlic sauce? Why monkey gland?
“Oh here, please try some some of my ‘spunk splash’, it’s really ranch relish but I like to give it a nom de plume
pffft
There *are* other glands in the bodies of mammals. For example, mammary glands. It’s interesting that you first thought of male gonads instead of teh bewbies. :p
there are also less-savoury sounding ones… thyrroid or pituitary come to mind…
Why does your sauce need a nom de plume (pen name)? Will it be writing questionable books?
Doesn’t every truly spicy sauce?
God I hate these fancy weird sauces like monkey gland or turtle’s bile. Nothing better than good old pepper sauce!
I have even seen monkey gland sauce served at McDonald’s in South Africa. I still haven’t had the courage to try it.
Spur!!! Spur!!! http://www.spur.co.za Sorry, moderators please fix me. . . .
I was rechecking sites and realized I’d ctrl x’d v’d the wrong name and address page . . . My very bad. . . All else applies. Spur!
Abject apologies for having too many tabs open.
OMG.
this isnt engrish you idiot.
That isn’t a sentence, you illiterate.
Well I cooked up a mess of this stuff this evening and had it on a hamburger instead of ketchup. I must say it is quite tasty. Tastes sort of like Heinz 57 sauce (the orange-brown stuff) yet different. Due to some nasty food allergies I had to modify the recipe a bit but it’s still good stuff.
I now have two questions:
1) Who was the person who first ate monkey glands, and thought “Hey, I reckon this tastes like onion with mustard, wooster and ginger”, and
2) What the hell did the monkey eat in the first place?
I see.
If something form Asia is ‘not Engrish’, you jump on the guy who points it out and scream at him how ‘ITS STILL FUNNY, ITS STILL FUNNY!’
If something is ‘not Engrish’ but was made by white folks, you all go ‘Gosh, I never knew, thanks for teaching me something.’
Actually I have to point out – IT’S STILL FUNNY… in a disgusting sort of way… and I have to agree with dr Handle – what were they thinking?
I don’t know. I thought I was saying, “It’s still funny! It’s still funny!” And at least this time we’re clearly not laughing at the fabled “funny monkey people” you’re always going on about, but at the “funny monkey gland sauce.” You really ought to explore where all this hostility is coming from.
“If something form Asia is ‘not Engrish’”
that was Engrish though.
Monkey Gland rulz. For those who haven’t had it, it’s about halfway between HP Sauce and Sweet-n-Sour sauce. Very tasty. (“Lekker” as we say in SA.)
I didn’t know Hewlett-Packard had branched out into sauces.
If I could get the sauce code, maybe I could make my HP printer software run properly.
Monkey Gland sauce is awesome but I havent seen it for sale in a long time
I’ve seen Monkey Gland sauce on the menus of a lot of places here in Australia, too. American themed steak restaurants, mostly, so I always thought it was an American thing. Same as Chunky Monkey ice cream, there’s no expectation of chunks of actual monkey.
Oh, now you tell me, after I spent all that time looking for the monkey chunks!
hey! there a restuarant chain in SA that has that! Good stuffs!
yum yum!
Monkeyglad souce on ribs
It’s supposed to be one word, monkeygland. No idea where the name comes from.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkeygland_sauce
that is an actual kind of sauce, my mom makes it. it doesnt have anything to do with actual monkey glands… its british im pretty sure.
Thai chefs would love to make Monkey gland sauce, if they could just find those damned ninja monkeys in the forest…
not engrish!!! monkey galnd is just a name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it’s actually very tasty, it is an african suace