No Smoking I Will Crazy!
All My Friends Are Trouble Maker
Submitted by: Dannyboi Dacay via Engrish Funny Submissions
Found at a bar called Pivo in Ortigas, The Philippines
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Yeah. I think I’m gonna go now.
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I WILL CRAZY! I will grow chainsaw arms!!!
Run for your life… Gangsters don’t appreciate smokers on their curb
I usually crazy, too, if I see a smoker. I don’t like people who endanger other peoples’ health like that. Don’t know how the sign’s friends being trouble maker has any relevance, though.
And blah, blah, blah. Non-smokers are the new PETA.
Everyone hears blah, blah, blah because they don’t want to hear about stories like my dad’s 6 months of failed chemo and 6 months of palliative care. The body destroyed itself and narcotics didn’t working at the end.
All we ask is that smokers who want to smoke (or smork or smonk) go and do it somewhere where the non-smokers don’t have to put up with the stench. One continent to the left would be good…
I’d be okay if they smoked (or smorked, or smonked) on Mars or Pluto. That should be far enough away.
The Martian climate seems to have deteriorated quite enough on its own without additional toxic gases and particulates!
Okay, How about somewhere near Alpha Centauri? That would be far enough away from me where they could smoke. Is that far enough away from you, or should they go to the Andromeda Galaxy?
My wife, who after two years quit recently relapsed into smoking, is now smoking outside, for which I am quite grateful, since I have asthma. However, if she is still smoking come winter, I doubt this will last.
AHHHHH SMOKER TONGE
Oh, really? Let me tell you something. I’m perfectly okay letting you kill yourself slowly and destroy the quality of your own life, but when you do it in a way that hurts other people, I take offense to that. If you want to damage your own health and make your life suck, go drop acid or take some pills. Don’t be blowing smoke in peoples’ faces and polluting our atmosphere with your carcinogens. That is just Rude.
You mean the new P.I.T.A. Being an ex-smoker myself, I say leave the damn smokers alone!
If only it were that simple. If you could find a way to smoke without involving everyone around you and the atmosphere, I’d say to go ahead, but since you don’t walk around in a bubble, containing all of your vile vapors away from the outside world, I cannot agree to it. When you not only endanger your own health, but the health of everyone else, I cannot understand why you would want to start smoking in the first place.
I’m pretty sure they meant P.E.T.A.
And people need to stop being so over-dramatic about the whole smoking thing. Do people who smoke get cancer? Sometimes, sometimes not. Does the smoking contribute? Probably. Does everyone they ever smoked near have cancer or other serious health problems? No.
Stop over-generalizing.
How did they know??!
I think he means it O.o
I’ve heard of some people smokers but going crazy over them ?
and then sending his probably crazy friends to stop ya just seems like overkill
the word “hating ” was suppose to be between people and smokers : P
Have you ever seen a smoker having a nicotine fit? Some of them can go quite crazy themselves. Not too far-fetched that it would go the other way (not that this is necessarily the case here….it is Engrish.)
I have been married 23 years to a woman who took up smoking at age 10 and has quit roughly 3,297 times. And when she quits, she is absolute hell to deal with for weeks at a time. So to answer your question, yes.
OMG I want these signs! You can’t find such colloquial Cantonese anywhere.
成班爛坦 = “you crazy son of the b*tches”
Smoking okay. I will crazy too. All my friends are lawyer.
Smoking no ok. I will crazier, too. All my friend are super soaker and boom stick.
All your friend now belong to us.
*puff puff*
can i smork?
No, but you can smonk.
and tout to your hearts desire
The desire to tout originates farther down in the anatomy.
My wife invariably crazies if she cannot smoke.
Maybe they are trying to say:
“No smoking or I will go crazy and have friends who are trouble makers that will come after you”
the bunny is on to something ^o^
You have a pleasure. Your pleasure is smoking. The residue of your pleasure is smoke. When you enjoy your pleasure in my presence, the residue gets into my nose, eyes, and lungs and makes me feel sick; my nose itches, my eyes sting and I cough. It gets into my hair and my clothes, and makes them stink.
I too have a pleasure. My pleasure is drinking. The residue of my pleasure is urine.
So, the next time you light up in my presence, you’ll understand when I piss on you.
At sea, with the hatches shut, we breathed recirculated air. Lots of people smoked before the Navy went smoke free. In port we found some solvent based cleaner and scrubbed until the painted surfaces changed color form an oak stain color to the original sea foam blue. It was tobacco smoke stuck to cooking grease.
The problem with doing That Sort Of Thing is that once you make a clean spot, you have to keep going.
Of, what a very proper noun.
Sheesh! Even the Dreadful Spelling Sprite isn’t going to ding someone who capitalizes a letter, in the midst of other caps, that probably shouldn’t have been capitalized! IMO, that crosses the line from meticulousness into obsessive-compulsive disorder!
I came home and my dog had a big “I’m sorry” look on his face. He had made a big soft mess on the carpet. I shoveled it up, scrubbed it with suds and a towel, and extracted a bucket of rinse water with the shop vac. I’m still trying to hide the clean spot.
This is what throw rugs were invented for!
I thought they were invented for throw up.
Bonus, you get to touch and breathe the solvent whilst scrubbing… what a wonderful world!
They saved those solvents for the yard workers painting in the lockers.
nice one… ad-worthy
sign has a lot of emotion baggage. its not easy being stuck to a wall all day
All MY friends are brown and red.
Both of ‘em.
Oh no, it’s happened again… if the scansion is correct, I just can’t help myself…
All my friends are brown and red, doo dah, doo dah…
All are red or brown, I said, all de doo dah day.
Maybe Soundgarden could reunite to cover that song, Camptown-style. It’s not much crazier than what Chris Cornell is doing on his own these days anyway!
You have two two-toned friends?
All my friends are trouble-maker.
Literally. All my friends are, collectively, one single trouble-making gestalt entity.
That goes crazy without a nicotine hit.
I thought the same thing about that statement, seeing all my friends join together as one vast trouble-maker. That WOULD be the kind of friends I’d have.
Oh, what was that Engrish phrase we had, not too long ago, that so aptly described the kind of folk I used to hang with… Ragamuffin drunken psychotic people! That’s it!!!
all your friend are belong to us.
somebody set up us the crazy.
really? I’m from the philippines and I think this is just so weird. I may crazy.
This website specializes in weird. If you go crazy and enjoy, welcome aboard. If you don’t enjoy, better hit the road, Jack, ’cause there’s always more weirdness on the way!!!
Actually, this isn’t quite authentic Engrish… even in Chinese the signs are actually supposed to be funny.
Yes, this is meant to be funny in Chinese, too. However, both sentences contain errors in English grammar, although the meaning is pretty clear.