Engrish Pictures and other Funny Engrish Mistakes in English from around the world.

 

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Resist the need to cut, emo laptop


engrish funny laptop skin

1. Paste needed before the cloth notebook shell Wipe clean.
2. Determine the location of the same paste.
3. Put a bright opening of the iceberg, the beginning of paste.
4. On the right side to left side put their hands to prevent or heal rags have a bubble until paste End.
5. Film will be cut off part of the surplus, the need to resist cutting when the knife edge of the notebook in order to ensure smooth.
6. Success, Hull

Submitted by: dunno source, via Engrish Funny Submissions

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» Glory! 106 Comment

  1. Fay says:

    What I want to know is why Hull is deemed as a success… O_o

    • Bazooka says:

      Hull = most distressing awful place in England, or a benchmark of success for emo-kind

      • Fay says:

        True, true. I suppose this IS aimed at emo-kind, since is specifically says “the need to resist cutting”.

      • Mark. Gooley says:

        Chesterton, a hundred years ago:

        For Huddersfield is Shuddersfield,
        And Hull is nearly Hell…

        • RockyRoader says:

          “From Hull and Halifax and Hell
          Good Lord deliver me.”

          From “The Dalesman’s Litany”

          • I_Am_Iron_Man says:

            Hull/Halifax are 2 of the most epic Massachusetts cities. Love Nantasket Beach! YEAH BOY!!!

            • paws4thot says:

              Geography fail – everyone else was talking about the borough of Kingston-upon-Hull, Humberside, England, and Halifax, West Riding, Yorkshire, England.

              • Meowth says:

                Yes, but Hull and Halifax are common city names. Not everyone has been to England, you know. I didn’t even know they had a Hull or Halifax in England until you just told me.

                • dr handle says:

                  Am I allowed to growl, or shall I just grit my teeth here?

                  • hollyr57 says:

                    I’m an American and I think you should do whatever makes you feel better. Our friend Meowth doesn’t realize that 99% of the English sounding city/town names are taken directly from cities and towns in England. Boston in the UK, Boston in Massachusetts. York in Northeastern England, New York in New York State plus York, Pa. Jersey in England, New Jersey State. And there are dozens of Londons all over the US.

                    • Droll not Troll says:

                      The names don’t only come from England, of course. I wonder how many Americans know that Memphis was the name of the old capital of Egypt?
                      The original English explorers weren’t very imaginative sometimes. They gave names to a lot of places in Australia that were already in use in England.

                    • Meowth says:

                      Yes, yes, I know that, but what I didn’t know was that they were from such famous British cities or anything. Geography is not my area of expertise. In fact, I didn’t even know that there was a Halifax in Massachusetts. The only Halifax I have ever heard of is in Canada, and I only know that because it is where a television show I used to watch was produced.

                      • paws4thot says:

                        It’s partly that geography is one of my things, and has been since I was old enough to read (so since I was about 4, 43 years ago) as well.

                        • Meowth says:

                          But you should remember that not everyone is as interested, or knowledgeable, in geography as you are. Many people honestly do not know. There are probably some people who don’t even care. As for myself, I’m always interested in learning new things.

    • Mr. Frykas says:

      HULL (adj.)
      Descriptive of the smell of a weekend cottage.

  2. Ela13 says:

    I want to know whats up with the bright opening of the iceburg. Oh, and I think they may be congratulating any Hulls that have tried and succeeded at understanding these directions.

  3. Rockingfreakapotamus says:

    Hull and Success are two words rarely seen together

    Heal Rags on the other hand are frequently seen in Hull

  4. TheCannyScot says:

    The best thing to come out of Hull is the ferry to Zeebrugge!

    • Grrr Power says:

      I’ve been to Hull and back.
      Not many people can say that… :P

      • JohnB's daughter says:

        It appears that not many people want to.

        • hollyr57 says:

          Whoops – I left a name I used last night and didn
          t correct. That’s what playing on Engrish at midnight gets me!

          • JohnB says:

            Nice try, but you’re not fooling me, young lady! Just for that, you get another popsicle!!!

            • JohnB's pretend daughter says:

              Nooooo….not another popsicle!! You fiend! No Bacon of Sky for you tomorrow.

              • JohnB's pretend self says:

                I won’t need to get it out of the sky. I’ll take it out of your hide!!!

                • hollyr57 says:

                  Tsk, tsk!! Is that any way for a licensed therapist and ordained minister to talk? Are you sure that that’s our calm and peaceful JohnB talking or perhaps someone from the Collective? It’s been a long time since I had to deal with tweens.

                  • JohnB's actual self says:

                    Talking like a therapist or an ordained minister doesn’t work on my daughter. I have to talk like a parent. Now I often find myself screaming ridiculous stuff at her, one part of me looking on and saying, “You idiot. This isn’t doing anybody any good.” There are times when I can deal with her more rationally, and generally these work better. But if she’s in a particularly extreme mood, rationality will get me nowhere. I do, seriously, suspect my daughter has bipolar disorder, which would not be surprising, since both her biological mother and adoptive mother have it. (I have detailed my own experience with mental illness before, so I won’t get into it right now.) But I’m going to talk to a highly recommended psychotherapist Tuesday, and lay out the whole situation in our family and whatever she says about who needs to see whom, individual or family, we’re going to do it. I know I’ve gotten to the point where I’m totally stressed out. Of course, having had my wife nearly die twice in the past year didn’t help any of us…

                    • JohnB's actual self says:

                      Apologies for the serious again! But from some people on this blog I sense a genuine warmth and concern, so I felt I should let you know that we are getting help.

                      • hollyr57 says:

                        It’s easier sometimes to talk to people who do not have a physical presence in our lives. There is a friendliness here that allows us to feel free to be who we are. You’re certainly in my thoughts John and I’ll be praying for you tomorrow. (Back to Engrish funny).

                    • blueJade says:

                      Kids are tough. It seems like no matter who you are, and who they are, they’re more than you can handle. Good luck!

                      • JohnB says:

                        Yes, parenting is clearly the most difficult thing anyone ever attempts to do, and one of the tough parts is that the outcome is ultimately out of our hands entirely. All we can do is give it our best efforts, and (for those of us who rely on such things) pray, pray, pray!

        • JohnB says:

          Hull, no! We won’t go!

    • toilet shark says:

      I’m not sure that the hull is going to remain a success, if there is iceberg involvement. Look what happened to the Titanic.

      • Droll not Troll says:

        Emo version: ♫ My hurt will go on…. ♫

        • JohnB says:

          Or a slightly revised version of Bryan Adams,
          I cut with a knife
          And it feels so right.

          • dr handle says:

            Perhaps if we can encourage emo to cut Leonardo diCaprio, you know, kill two berks with one hone.

            • JohnB says:

              Aha, DPF, at the Dreadful Punning again! Although the only dreadful part of this one is I don’t know what a “berk” is. Is that some Aussie term?

              • JohnB says:

                I had been thinking that “berk” might be a contraction of “berserk,” but Leo doesn’t seem to be particularly so, at least compared to the backdrop of the usual Hollywood insanity.

                • dr handle says:

                  Oh noes! Cultural imperialist assumptions – I makes dem!

                  DnT is correct as to the derivation of the term, but in today’s parlance, it is usually used to mean someone who is a bit of a clueless idiot. A nong, if you will. Down Here, if you want to call someone a c#%$, you just say that.

              • Dreadful Pun Hell fairy says:

                It’s shameless entrapment, that’s what it is.

  5. Hasabrain says:

    This is a fail product, with engrish instructions … double bonus!

  6. Sinatra says:

    Anyone else notice that this seems to imply having someone else do the work while you physically guide their hands? (#4)

    • KinkyTom says:

      yeah it does O.o

    • Droll not Troll says:

      And it looks like maybe you get to drink some bubble tea while they’re doing it.

      • hollyr57 says:

        Are we obligated to drink the bubble tea? Is it a must-do part of the process? Perhaps I’ll just pass on the whole using my laptopskin thing altogether.

      • dr handle says:

        I’ve heard about Places Like That, where men sit around and drink bubble tea and watch ladeez doing laptop dancing. Not my thing at all, although I do know a girl who’s putting herself through uni doing laptop dancing. It has its hazards; last week she tripped on the space bar, and twisted an ankle. Still, it’s really amazing when she whizzes around on the mouse, it takes real skill to do that without spraining something.

  7. blueJade says:

    Has anyone seen the paste? I can’t wait to start!

  8. duffy says:

    The Pied Piper led the polar bears to the bright opening of the iceberg.

  9. giraffe giraffe says:

    “Hull!” is the new “Hooray!”

  10. JD says:

    Is it even right side up? Who cares if it looks great with the hinge up, is it going to look stupid (well, stupider) when someone sees the back in actual use and it’s upside down?

    • JohnB says:

      Apparently, it’s only for you to “enjoy” for that brief moment when you close your laptop before you pack it away or leave it.

  11. фдуч_шяь says:

    There is no End to this paste. I’ll just sit back and have a bubble:)

  12. JohnB says:

    I don’t know which side to put my hands on, because I can’t decide whether I want to prevent rags or heal them.

    • Sinatra says:

      crap made a comment on this very thing without realizing this one :[

      Come to think of it though, rags could be slang for leprosy. Though what that has to do with laptop skins I’ll never figure.

      • JohnB says:

        I was going under the assumption that rags meant rags. If you prevent rags, your clothes stay unholey, unfaded, and untorn through indefinite wearings and washings. If you heal rags, you turn them from shreds into fine, intact clothing again.

        • Jessica says:

          You heathen! Are you saying you desire the Unholy Clothes! Rags are for the devout! Amen! And other such religious fervor!

          • JohnB says:

            Verily, I doth be clothed in unholeyness even at this moment!

            • JohnB says:

              But beneath my unholeyness doth lurk much evidence of my holeyness, for many times hath I bled and scarred.

              • blueJade says:

                JohnB…? You doing alright, buddy?

                • JohnB's actual self says:

                  See my comments above! I hadn’t seen this question before I posted to Hollyr57 above. But here I was really just joking about the fact that after 56 years of life, one can see a record of numerous mishaps that left their marks upon my skin, including three surgeries, three broken arms (didn’t know I had three, did you?), and my shins have taken a beating. But no, I have never been into cutting myself (I found other ways of hurting myself, which seemed like more fun at the time) and haven’t been at all suicidal in the last 27 years.

                  • JohnB's actual self says:

                    Thanks for your concern, though! 8^]>

                    • Droll not Troll says:

                      Three broken arms? I bet that extra arm comes in handy
                      when it’s hot broken.
                      Srsly, I’m wondering if the stories behind those breaks are interesting, or if you even care to remember them.

                      • dr handle says:

                        On one hand; on the other hand; gripping hand…

                      • JohnB says:

                        In one of the universe’s many ironies, I never broke any bones while drunk or high, but broke my right ulna when I was sober two years, my left ulna about seven years later, and my right radius in 2003. And the stories are not particularly interesting, although when I shattered my right radius while moving a refrigerator down concrete steps to the basement almost single-handedly, I actually completed moving the fridge to where it needed to be before informing my wife of the need to go to the hospital. I consider that a reason for pride (you know, git ‘r done no matter what! I’m a man!!!), while my wife judges it to be evidence of my total insanity. The right radius is the one that now has a titanium plate and ten screws, if you remember playing with that one a while back.

  13. JohnB says:

    Notice how the paste is needed in Step 1, but in Step 2 you have to determine the location of the same paste. Must be a variation on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I can use it, but I can’t tell you where it is, or I can tell you where it is, but I can’t use it.

  14. Sinatra says:

    “Prevent or heal rags,” I hope it’s not contagious.

    incidentally, I looked it up and found no such diseases. Must be a new one.

  15. ronniecat says:

    As a Canadian, I really appreciate the gratuitous reference to icebergs.

  16. NP says:

    You could take just the final pic and repost it as “notebook skin fail”

  17. Bagel_Kitty says:

    That’s an ugly laptop skin.

  18. liz-b.burnin'coal says:

    Who’s the douche that put the engrishfunny logo over the instructions?
    If you moved it to the right, you wouldn’t have covered anything. But I suppose someone was too busy sucking digger nicks to notice…

  19. themasha says:

    hahaha makes no sense

  20. tom says:

    I think it’s saying “Hull” as in, your have successfully put Hull on your ship aka laptop?

    Laptopskin!

  21. nop says:

    I use lots of the packaged software that OSX has, like iMovie and especially Garage Band. I couldn’t believe that such a powerful program would come pre-packaged with my Mac, but it totally blew me away. I record my electric guitar straight through the computer, with so many software loops, and not to mention with tons of apps loaded in the background. The interfaces are incredibly easy to learn to use, and the entire OS is just fun.

    All in all, I don’t understand all the complaints about the price premiums. If you can’t afford a Mac, it’s not even part of your discussion, so it’s a moot point to argue against it anyway. If you can, it’s worth checking out because of the quality of the product you get. Ultimately, $300-400 of a price difference isn’t a whole lot when you think about how much computers are integrated into our lives. For such an incredible machine, it’s worth that price premium, because in the long run, it’s just a few cents a day that you’re spending in order to avoid headaches with system issues, slowdowns, and time spent just stressing over why your computer isn’t doing what it’s supposed to.Buy Apple MacBook.Pro.MB990LL.A.13.3 Inch.Laptop Lowest Price, Order Now! [Click Here!]

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  22. laptop price says:

    Nice to see you posting after a while will be really bored today


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