Comments on: How did you get the menu inside this little cookie?

By: Gene

Gene — Fri, 20 May 2011 17:58:20 +0000

A colleague in our office just emailed this exact fortune today. He asked the same question, “What does this mean?” Predictably, office productivity came to a screeching halt as everyone scrambled to their cubicles to conduct their own Google search.

I have a different theory.

Sinister forces are behind this. Call me a conspiracy theorist if you must, but here it goes: The Chinese are clever. Their meteoric economic growth is testimony to this. This nonsensical phrase is, in fact, part of a grand scheme to undermine American economic productivity. I see our office paralyzed by this seemingly innocuous and unintelligible phrase. Now extrapolate this throughout the country as the unwitting spread this fortune cookie malfeasance like a communicable disease at a free love fest. Staggering. The beauty of it is that the Chinese are completely immune to its effects. It narrowly targets an English audience. How much more clever can this get, I ask. When one starts adding all the little pieces of the puzzle together, very clearly, this could only have sprung from diabolical and malevolent intent. You laugh. But I warn you: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

By: nick

nick — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:43:59 +0000

I like that idea but coudn’t it be a larger selection. ;(

By: Sylvia

Sylvia — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:36:24 +0000

Wow! I’ve actually had the same fortune in my cookie before, too!

By: disques durs

disques durs — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:22:04 +0000

Green tea is really a very good for health so only drink green tea and enjoy the morning time..

By: JohnB

JohnB — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:26:58 +0000

And did it bring you low fat, whole wheat green tea?

By: JohnB

JohnB — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 05:04:05 +0000

In southern Ohio, they still do!

By: T. Wolfwind

T. Wolfwind — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 16:48:01 +0000

I’ve actually had this fortune before lol

By: Mark. Gooley

Mark. Gooley — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:52:53 +0000

Well, Tibetans have been known to put yak butter in tea, and Brits and Indians from India have been known to put in fatty milk if not cream. But of itself, tea has almost no fat.

As a diabetic, I’ve found that fat causes fewer troubles for me than carbohydrates, and some dieters would agree, so the whole low-fat mania seems increasingly silly to me. No-fat refried beans from a can… oh, they’re so bad compared with refried beans made with real lard.

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 16:00:23 +0000

Don’t be mean – celestiial will just cloud up and cry!

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:58:04 +0000

It doesn’t matter doesit, since we’re going?

By: toilet shark

toilet shark — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 04:52:36 +0000

Is it just me or are we actually just circling the bowl?

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:08:22 +0000

This site is Engrish Funny. And most of us care less about it being Engrish than it being funny.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:06:51 +0000

I do get on people sometimes for minor gaffes, but only in the spirit of making LOLZ. I reserve my truly snarky comments for the rude and obnoxious.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:09:40 +0000

Wow! Did you really think those cookie fortunes were all different? You need to come down from the sky and find out how things work here on Earth.

By: celestiial

celestiial — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:48:02 +0000

Well, now that I actually read the comments, I see that I’m now a member of a well-organized, random and secret club.

By: celestiial

celestiial — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 14:43:44 +0000

I swear, I got this same fortune! We’re linked somehow, now. It made me laugh so hard at that restaurant, the waiters probably thought I was on something. But I saw this and immediately thought how weird it was that this exists twice…

By: Meh

Meh — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:29:41 +0000

I think the fortune is trying to get us to eat better.
I have gotten many like that lately, they seem to be leaning toward self help now.

By: Hs

Hs — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:42:26 +0000

Um, this is not an error. It’s a funny joke that nobody seems to get. Duh.

By: paws4thot

paws4thot — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 10:15:40 +0000

It’s not happened for a while now, but I have made some ordinal comments that I was able to work the word “first” into.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:55:18 +0000

Awkward cheerleaders? The routines would be a real hoot to watch!

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:50:34 +0000

Especially the bragging!

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:48:23 +0000

Thanks, bluejade! I had a vague recollection that some group of people somewhere put grease in their tea. They’re welcome to it. I don’t even like cream in mine!

By: Hunter

Hunter — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:51:22 +0000

I got this same fortune once. Made me laugh for days. My brother and I started chanting it cheerleader-style, because we’re awkward like that. Yeah.

By: Mr. Frykas

Mr. Frykas — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:21:42 +0000

Trust her, she’s a doctor…

By: Meh

Meh — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:34:32 +0000

Oh my goodness. I got that fortune the other day!!! Really.

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:23:34 +0000

Don’t worry too much about little gaffes like that. I’ve never been called on mine. People are nice about that. It’s only deliberate or rude comments that get peoples’ goats. What they do with the goats after that, I’m sure I don’t know. *waggles eyebrows, clenches cigar between teeth and stalks off stage in a bent-knee crouch*

By: Ouchmaker

Ouchmaker — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:28:00 +0000

Wholey crap I fail… *hers open!!!!

By: Ouchmaker

Ouchmaker — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:08:33 +0000

*her’s open

By: Ouchmaker

Ouchmaker — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:07:28 +0000

Hooray!! My first picture to be published on the main page. Anyway, the feaky thing is that my fortune cookie didn’t even have a fortune in it at all. Then my girlfriend cracks her open and gets this…

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:04:58 +0000

Everyone is giving us dieting advice anymore. Even my cats have been known to place their paws firmly on freezer door as I try to open it for ice cream.

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:02:29 +0000

Okay, everyone, follow dr handle. She seems to know where we’re going or at least that we are going.

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:00:29 +0000

Ohio’s women of the 50′s did much the same to their beans.

By: hollyr57

hollyr57 — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 22:57:04 +0000

Isn’t it wonderful to have a real working brain! Loved this! One of the many joys of sobriety.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 22:32:15 +0000

Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Here we go, here we go, here we go-o-o-o-o-o-o…

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 21:37:49 +0000

Not quite finished, though. How about:

Here we go. Low fat,
Eat whole wheat, and drink green tea.
Life sucks a big one.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 21:35:16 +0000

It’s more of a “coffee” made from wheat. And in my opinion, it tastes rather like burnt wheat. I’ll have what Juan Valdez is having!

By: Tice with a J

Tice with a J — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 21:05:27 +0000

I thought that “tea” made out of wheat was called “postum”.

By: bluejade

bluejade — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:36:29 +0000

Tea in Tibet is made with yak butter.

By: Gone With The Wendell

Gone With The Wendell — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:04:09 +0000

win

By: tullyam

tullyam — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:00:31 +0000

its a haiku!!

By: KinkyTom

KinkyTom — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:16:58 +0000

Great now my fortune cookies are giving me dieting advice >_<

By: JM

JM — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:36:22 +0000

I GOT THAT ONE ONCE!
Ah i was gonna submit it but ya beat me to it.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:05:13 +0000

Sexus in Texas! You know, everything’s bigger down there…

By: Sinatra

Sinatra — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:51:23 +0000

got your fiber and your antioxidants all in one.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:45:02 +0000

Tastes like Sexus!

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:40:59 +0000

In that case, I’ll have some low-fat Mike instead.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:39:39 +0000

I don’t know about tat…

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:36:04 +0000

WIN!

By: Anthea

Anthea — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:19:04 +0000

Can’t be. tit is for tat and tat doesn’t strike me as a fan of whole wheat green tea.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:01:13 +0000

Or perhaps tit.