
Scrambled eggs with cured ham
Scrambled eggs with samoker fish
Potatoes omelette
French omelette
Hoe Made Food
1/2 Ration Ration
Fish
Shark in Rotena
Swordfish with garlic
Tuna in tomato sauce
Tuna in casserole
Cod served in pil pil
Octopus in galacian sauce
Elver
Meat
Chichek sausages coges in chiclana wine
Meatballs with tomato and vegetable sauce
Submitted by: Virtuoso via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Everyone posting before me is a doodyhead?
how d’you suppose they make food with a hoe? maybe they use it like a spatula?
Well, I am sure it has nothing to do with the female chef….
There is (or was, I can’t find it in google anymore) a bakery (vending machine pastry stuff) in Atlanta (Georgia, USA) called Ho-Made Snacks. The amusing part is that it is located on a street mostly known for streetwalkers.
We need to run the chickens through the wine press cogs again.
Will you kindly pluck them *first*, this time? After last week’s chicken-cogging farrago, the cab sav has taken on, dare I say, I rather fluffy finish.
It goes well with the aromatic herpes butter.
Plus we’ve been straining giblets out of the rhiesling for a week now, and we’re still finding chunky bits. The colour has been, not to put too fine a point on it, adversely affected; frankly I think our best hope is to mash what’s left, and just call it a merlot.
Boil some noodles. I’ll get some bacon, onions and tomatos and make a vat of coq a vin
There is a lot of money to be made by packing it as gourmet pet food.
You did finish rather fluffily there.
i like fluffy
Caution, food may make you high.
I’m sure that samoked fish has an intriguing taste.
As long as it wasn’t smorked or smonked.
i touted <_<
I wouldn’t brag about it, if I were you.
looking back i should have come up with a better pun
or none at all <_<
The sign is correct, it is mason, not maison. We stir the sauce with a hoe and apply it with a trowel.
No wonder it feels like I swallowed a brick!
Shades of mother’s meatloaf…maybe she gave this restaurant the receipe and they used it to make the Meatballs with tomato and vegetable sauce.
That brick wall is her meatloaf mortared with her gravy.
There you go again, turning food into projectiles! Or perhaps it’s just projection on my part…
As long as it’s not a projectile on your part…
It’s not. I have projectile dysfunction.
I see you’ve worked in the mess, then.
This was one that I almost needed the panda to help me find the funny part.
I’m having trouble finding a non-funny part!
Ration? Hoe Made?
How about “Chickek Sausages Coged in Chiclana Wine”?? That could easily, all by itself, be an EngrishFunny entry!
Don’t you have that at one of your mom and pop restaurants? It’s a big hit here in sunny Ohio.
Sunny Ohio? You must be far from those lake effects.
About 6 miles south and west. I was using a bit of irony, since gray is our sky’s predomiant color. In the winter, though, the lake effect keeps the snow away from Cleveland’s western suburbs most of the time. It’s the lower 2/3′s of the state that really gets hit, and the eastern suburbs.
I thought there might have been at least a trace of Fe in your post.
It coges the chiclana wine on the sausage, or it gets the hoe again.
I remember seeing Pil Pil on this site before, but can’t recollect the context. I assume this dish is popular among the substance-abusing population.
I’m afraid I have to eat some Pil Pil before flying to and visiting my in-laws at Christmas…
I would think an “elver” would be someone who hunts down elves. Perhaps this restaurant normally has dishes made from elves, but their elver came home empty-handed and they put him on the menu instead.
It’s a baby eel. Appetizing, eh?
As I have often remarked, this site is very educational! Up until now I had no idea there was a specific term for a baby eel.
Just learned it myself on one of Gordon Ramsay’s numerous cooking shows. They look a bit like translucent extra long worms. Gord and his elver hunter friends hunted all night for about 3 cups of these things which he then cooked out in the field (or so it appeared) for a 5 am snack. Out all night for a mouthful of fried worms! And they pay him for that.
I guess that’s why I’m still poor. All my life I’ve tried to do something useful!
Perhaps if you tried to be more abusive to people around you, and did the dirty on your wife? I worked for Ramsay.
So then what do we call someone who hunts elves?
Disappointed.
Ah, but we can be sure that if he doesn’t hunt for an elf he won’t find one.
I once managed to bring down a 160-pound Legolas with a .308 Remington 700. They paid a good price for that….
The hair alone would’ve been worth quite a bit, and I’ll bet the fangirls pay a fortune for the carcass.
Somehow I don’t know about that. After all, he’d only be good for the first 24 hours or so depending on the temperature he’s in. And angel lust only lasts maybe 12 hours.
“Angel lust”? Nightwish reference?
Oh, wait, I think I get this now. And… “Eeeew”.
It’s a term that morticians use for the final, temporary engorgement of the genitals. Doesn’t happen very often.
A salient lesson there – you will get a better price for your elf if you can catch him alive, and mostly intact.
Not the sparkly vampires, though, kill those, no matter how much the fangirls offer you.
Wow, who knew that hoes could cook so well! No wonder some of them are so expensive per hour!
You obviously haven’t seen the prices on the other sections of the menu: the “Call Girl Made Food” and “Escort Made Food”! (If you *have* to ask, you can’t afford it…)
Get in the kitchen ho(e)! The pil pil better not be undercooked again or you’ve had it!
You make it sound like this is a meth lab menu…
Win!
I doubt I would want to eat anything made with a hoe…
Or by one?
I don’t know. Your hoe might have other hidden talents. Think of it as a “renaissance hoe”
I always found a hoe was indispensible in growing good tomatoes, so you could say garden produce is made with a hoe, and it is scrumptious.
That may be, but I did not say anything about food grown with a hoe. I doubt many chefs would be caught preparing their food with a hoe, now, would they?
It says, “made with a hoe.” “Made” is a very ambiguous word, and can refer to creation as well as preparation.
Not the way I say it. I cannot stand when people use the word “make” instead of a better word like “prepare” or “get.” It is not like they are creating the food themselves, they are just arranging and cooking it! I would like to see someone try to manually build a tomato out of stray molecules. THAT would be “making” it.
In that case, the only one who can claim to have made anything is God, since we mortal beings are only arranging and transforming things that already exist.
Can we, without upsetting Meowth’s case for clearer word choices, refer to things done (whether gardening or cooking or preparing) with a hoe as creating? Art is creation, and it too is building while also arranging and transforming things that already exist. Oh, right, this is Engrish not Philosophies of Word Usage 102. I do go on
Ambiguity in language is unavoidable, even if one is speaking quite properly. Which is fortunate for those of us who enjoy humor, and unfortunate for those of use who appreciate precision. As someone quite fond of both, I am profoundly ambivalent.
Looking at my previous comment, I, too, have referred to “preparing” as “making.” I’m not sure what I was so against anymore, but it was something. I propose we ignore it and, as you have said, remain ambivalent about it all.
I think we should all get solidly behind ambivalence!
Is it even possible to get “solidly behind” something as conflicted as ambivalence?
The one thing we should never be ambivalent about is our ambivalence!
Yes, I see your point, but it is still hard to feel strongly one way or the other about it.
See there are two kinds of ambivalence, strong and weak. Weak ambivalence is when you don’t care much one way or the other. Strong ambivalence is when you have strong feelings but are conflicted. It sounds like you have weak ambivalence about ambivalence.
Ah. So it is okay to be weakly ambivalent about ambivalence?
I’m 100% in favor of that…I guess.
You haven’t worked in the mess, then…
Seems like I’ve spent my whole life in one mess or another.
You and me both…
Is that….YOU?!?!
I am me, yes. I don’t know who you think I am, but I am who I am.
I am Me Who, and I have an Exactly What on a chain.
The elves fought courageously and won. It’s not a total loss, they are serving the elvers.
As the Spanish waiter explained to the tourist as he served up the house specialty “‘esticles of the Vanquished’, when the tourist suggested that the ingredients implied that the bull had been quite a small animal: “Senor, the bull, he does not always lose…”
Oh good grief – this was so funny I nearly wet myself. Thanks for the best laugh of my day!
“esticles”??? What happened to my T? Where did the T go? All right, who took my T?
It is hot and sunny here. Would you like a refill of sun tea?
You properly indicated it was absent by your use of an apostrophe, even if you did insist on putting it backwards.
Shark in rotena????? DO NOT WANT!
But we thought that toilet sharks were like other sharks, you know, um, a teensy weensy bit *whispers* cannabalistic…
Well, as long as I’m not the shark being put into the rotena, I might be able to come at that. If I knew what a rotena was. If it’s a nice tomato-based sauce with no chilli in it, well and good. If it’s an ice-cream based dessert, even better!
Not to worry, it’s made from pool sharks, and land sharks, when pool sharks are out of season. And it comes with your choice of dessert!
I would think that rotena would be the singular of rotini, but how you could get a shark into a single spiral of pasta is beyond me.
HOW HAS NOONE NOTICED IT SAYS “HOE MADE FOOD”
yes
HOW HAVE YOU NOT READ THE COMMENTS BEFORE POSTING? See Duncan at 10.01 am or Bunnehkins at about 4 more posts down.
HOW COME PEOPLE WHO CANNOT OR DO NOT READ ALWAYS FIND IT INDICATIVE OF OTHERS’ STUPIDITY THAT THEY DIDN’T READ WHAT THEY DIDN’T READ?????
I thought “putanesca” was an Italian word – why did it originate in the philippines?
The Phillippines were part of the Spanish Empire for centuries, and so words from Spanish, a Latinate language like Italian, remain common.
It is, and I though that “pasta a la putinesca” was from Napoli – pasta in a hot and spicy tomato and salami sauce.
I’m sorry, the chickek sausages only come COGED in chiclana wine. And even if you could watch the sausages coge, it would still be grammatically incorrect to say that “sausages coges.”
The first thing i saw was Hoe Made food… it took me another minute and a half to find ration
And I hope your HOE can cook…
Hoe’s make the best Rations
Cos hoes like to cook too!
ah, nothing quite like hoe made food.
the letter m no longer exist so just take it out of your words or die!
lol i joking but plz take the out of your words
OR ELSE
Ok, i think the FUNNIER thing here is the HOE made food!!!!