1 ) Utilize clean clothes
2 ) Use of preference swimsuit (women: short and t-shirt light. Man: no t-shirt and short)
3 ) Wash before entering the pool
4 ) Do not push to the pool people
5 ) Do not enter the pool with a shoes
6 ) Do not run for banquets
7 ) Do not consume food in or the edge of the pool
8 ) Throwing trash in its place
9 ) Not to scratch of abuse facilities
10 ) Do not throw stones of other objects the pool
11 ) Moderate its vocabulary
Submitted by: dunno source via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Copy & paste this:
It moderates its vocabulary, or it gets pushed into the pool.
I was going to go for ‘or it gets the hose again’. And I always run for banquets.
I’ve found if you don’t run for banquets you end up with cold, fatty roast beef and the remains of nasty green beans. Clearly the sign writer hasn’t been to a wedding before…
Don’t just run – STAMPEDE for the banquets. There are two types of guest, the quick and the hungry.
And we could throw a shoes at it.
I love how a bikini top is referred to as a t-shirt light
It’s because it has fewer calories than a regular T-shirt.
If you wear a t-shirt light, you want as few calories as humanly possible…
This would seem to call for some experiments with a bomb calorimiter.
Now, now, you may be having trouble with your diet, but that’s no reason to blow up your calorimeter.
It’s a device used for measuing the calorific content of substances (usually food, but I see no reason why we shouldn’t use it for clothing).
I knew what a calorimeter bomb was. I was making a joke. And people complain because i’M too serious!
My secondary school chemistry teacher once suggested that putting the physics teacher into a bomb calorimeter would be a surefire way to get some useful work out of him. Ah, happy days, the mutual loathing between those two teachers (one a Vietnam Vet and the other a conscientious objector) played out gloriously overtly in front of staff and students. It made my science education entertaining and engaging.
I guess that’s why we’re not allowed to run for the banquet.
I believe they don’t refer to a bikini… in some developing nations girls wear shorts & t-shirts to swim.
yeah but they want them to wear a light t-shirt, like white maybe. They just want to be able to see through it, those perverts.
big pervs. Then they throw the pool at them.
Your avatar is so close to mine. They must be cousins! And I see that, just like those perverts you mention, you’ve got your tongue hanging out!
i love how they say that men should use NO t-shirts and (no) shorts
No scratching of your abuse facility, even if it itches.
Actually, the original says, “No scratching or your abuse facility.” Which means that if you scratch, you will have to forfeit your abuse facility. Which is a good reason to always keep a spare abuse facility on hand.
I lost the last of mine 17 years ago and haven’t missed either abuse facility, but hey – whatever makes life easier for those that need them.
So if they need them, they had better not scratch!
Do not run for banquets of Engrish salads and everyone moderate its vocabulary. Let us give grace for the bounty before us and say Amen.
I’m sure Fletcher Christian’s sailors all gave thanks for the Bounty. At least they weren’t adrift in the lifeboat!
Man: no t-shirt and short?
Preferred: optional, T shirt , yes short.
7) Do not consume (…) the edge of the pool. Personally, I’d prefer something that won’t break my teeth!
I suppose I could have a bit of a gnash at the pool edging if you think I’m not getting enough roughage in my diet. But it doesn’t look very appetising – can we smear some ice-cream on it?
if I can’t run for the banquet, I have no choice but to chow down on the pool…!
Yet another attack of the or/of in subtitles!
Do not enter the pool with a shoes… two shoes is ok, just not one. and no busts and statue throwing!!!
I think perhaps that was just a typo. They meant, “Do not enter the pool with @ssholes.”
You mean the water is only 2 feet deep, and we can have stand up in it?
“have to stand”- (2am f*ck-up!)
Yes, you usually do have to be erect, especially if you are going to f*ck up!
We can have stand? But I want cheezburger!
You might be wondering how you can get a swimming pool to moderate its vocabulary. Well, NO MORE!!! NOT WITH NEW FLOW-SETTER STONE! WATCH IS THIS CRADLE OF FILTH OF A POOL, CHOCK FULL OF OBSCENITIES OF EVERY KIND, IS TRANSFORMED INTO THIS NICE, FAMILY-FRIENDLY POOL BY ONE SIMPLE APPLICATION OF THIS PRODUCT!!! WITH NEW… [psst--hey, Billy, man. Got some blow over here.] JUST BUY WITHIN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES! GOTTA GO!!!
All I can say is that it’s a good thing they weren’t talking to the pool people about illegal drugs, in view of Rule #4.
BILLY, YOU’RE DEAD! SHUT UP! (lol)
That’s what my dad says every time one of Mays’ commercials comes on.
I sort of guessed; if you want to p!$$ your dad off, tell him you know a guy who had no clue who Billy was until after he died! (I’m not American)
Well, people are generally dead before it makes the news that they are dead.
oh nvmd, i misread your comment. I thought you said “didn’t know he was dead until after he died.”
Obviously, just like people in glass houses, people who live in pools should never throw stones. Or other objects. And they CERTAINLY shouldn’t throw the pool.
Please do not throw the pool…
Your comment is at 7:07 too!
Do not “drop friends off” at the pool!
Okay, I brought along clean clothes with me to the pool. Now, how do I utilize them?
Hah!! Doesn’t say I can’t pee in the pool!!! Toilet Shark, am I clear on this?
Well, she is a doctor, but I think it’s a bit presumptuous to ask her to do a urinalysis, especially online.
Since toilet sharks can often be found circling the bowl, I suspect that you would in fact be encouraged to pee in my pool.
ha! this is from the place in Mexico i was staying at! wow thats really amazing XD
I’m try-in not to loose my head. huh-huh huh-huh
“Don’t push them cause they’re close to the edge”
I wouldn’t want them to lose their head, ah-ha-ha, ha.
Darn it, Tamo beat me to it but I didn’t see it because he misspelled ‘lose’ X-(
I bet these guys’ English is better than your Spanish.
wow… I speak spanish and i’m actually ashamed of that sign :$
wish more people would speak more english
So I don’t have to wear shorts either? ZOMFG!
I wish I could see a picture of the entire sign. With this one, I can’t figure out what the heck they were trying to convey in rule #6.