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EPHPC Official Poker Rules
We Glaim exclusive Lrade Yark rights
in Ace of Wpades, Joker,name, number, back design, case Eesign and Rame of Kinish Tsed on our various Qards.
Submitted by: goodcleanliving via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Spelling everything uniquely to ensure copyright?
Or Lyade Rark, rather.
Lrade Yark. It’s 3am. Dammit
A Rame of Kinish sounds pretty good right now. I love Kinishes.
Why no latkes???
K(i)nishes and Ramen?
Nothing like a good Jewish-Chinese meal, I always say.
Kinish Tsed sounds like a Star Wars guy or something. And Lrade Yark.
Poker Wars!
“Random card comes on the table”
Kinish Tsed: Do not want!
Han drew first!
NO! They can’t claim rights to my Rame! I Eesigned it myself!
This is classic text capture OCRglish. Someone didn’t clean the scanner window, was working from a poor quality copy, and didn’t have the spell checker enabled. They didn’t do a context check, either. Sometimes it jumbles characters and generates a good quality score and inserts a perfectly inappropriate legitimate word. The substitutions are all classic font recognition errors. I wouldn’t have gotten as much OCR expertise if I could type.
Or it was transcribed by someone completely unfamiliar with the western alphabet. I would hate to think what I would do trying to copy Chinese or Arabic characters.
No, I think it’s more Neoclassical OCRglish.
…ohhh, baby!…
okay. I got it. Deal them papers.
Let me preempt the naysayers: This is NOT Engrish! It is clearly just due to poor OCR recognition. Besides, they themselves “Glaim,” which HAS to be lame! You people will laugh at anything, won’t you?? Why don’t you only allow PURE Engrish on this site??? Why do I keep posting here when I don’t find anything funny???? Grow up, you morons, and be like me!!!!!!
There. ‘Nuff said?
Preemption fail on pointing out the ORC bit. And I refuse to be like you; for one thing, it’d be so complicated to have two different (or, er, similar but distinct) people posting here under the same name.
Also: could you please tell this non-gambler what Kinish Tsed is supposed to be?
Well, I sometimes am not really like me either! So you can be like me without even being like me! Not that I really wanted anybody to be like me, since that entire post was sarcastic. And unless you’re scanning a killer whale (orca), it’s OCR, not ORC.
But to answer your question, Kinish Tsed should have read, “Finish Used.” They are claiming trade rights to the finish used on their cards. Although I rather like the alternate spelling, Qards. You don’t often see the q without its pal u.
Unless you’re visiting Qatar.
Or Iraq.
Does QANTAS fly there?
QED.
Normal printing uses 4 plates for color printing. Advanced presses can have more color stages for metallic inks, proprietary colors,and clear coats to add texture, reduce glare, or waterproof. The textures vary from deck to deck and are proprietary processes.
It’s moran, dumbass. JohnB FAIL!
*chortle*
Go on, Incorrect Spelling Sprite, give him a ding, give him a ding!
In this Glaime, a chortle beats a ding. But not a pair of dings, and when someone corrects a proper spelling to an incorrect one that’s probably worth two dings, at least. So *ding ding*!
So sayeth the Engrish Poker Hand Prayer Crub.
I laise you arr in.
So since this is your WORK, would you care to explain how the letters got so mangled? Did you do an OCR that turned out badly, or is this, as some have intimated, the creation of photoshop? (This is not an issue I generally care much about, since my oft stated philosophy is if it LOLZ, it ROLLZ. But I am curious.)
either way, their attempt at english failed, so it’s Engrish.
Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But there always seem to be complainers and purists who don’t consider any posts Engrish OR Funny.
Wonder if “EPHPC” is even accurate, and what it stands for…
Well, the EAST PENSACOLA HEIGHTS POKER CONSORTIUM is what it stands for. The bottom was the backing to a pack of high-end, casino quality cards (obviously). My club and I have played by these rigid, painfully fair, and concise rules for over 11 years. But it hasn.t always been easy…
How? How did you even understand these rules much less play by them fairly or not? I don’t see how the word “rigid” can possibly apply to this game as played by the directions above. But I’m not criticizing, mind you. I loved the glorious incomprehensibily of your WORK.
It’s pronounced “epic”, apparently.
You realize, of course, that the Ace of Wpades is the card of Weath.
Please don’t burst my balloon…I love the idea of the Ace of Wpades. Then there’s gotta be a Qean of Yhafts, a Uackl of Dlugs and a Kkinhg of Dikmimes.
We could have a rousing game of limocl.e.
This is even funnier than the pic!
What’s wrong with Weath?
Just thinking about Weath asplodes my sense of wekk-being.
I have learned, over the years, that Weath is a part of Wife.
Hmmm…not sure if I should take umbrage to that comment. I’m a Wife, you know.
I generally don’t recommend taking umbrage on an empty stomach. In fact, I usually avoid people to stay clear of taking umbrage at all, since that leaves more for me.
And we could sing our own version of that Moofterfred song, “The Ace of Wpades”.
JohnB we laff at you, not with you. Chill out, I love the humor brake, weather its’ “ENGRISH” or knot!
Well, you may put the brakes on your humor, but I don’t, and your choice of whether to laugh with me or at me is ultimately mine, since the only difference is whether I am laughing, too, and I most certainly am. You might also try looking up the words, “sarcasm” and “parody,” in which case you might find that you can laugh at yourself, too.
This is your engrish. THIS is your engrish on drugs. Any questions?
Yes – where can I get some of those particular drugs, please?
Try the Starfish Soup, it’s delicious! I had some before the game.
You mean before the Glaim? What, are you on crude drugs or something???
Does anyone else notice the highlighted letters “PPC” in EPHPC?
It’s fine with me. They can have all those rights.
We have all their wrongs!
Long as I’m not stuck with their left behinds.
Lame photoshopped job. You can even see the poorly done changes. Misspellings in translation do not fall into the pattern of substituting the first letter of words. Only dimwits who photoshop this crap think that.
Oh go take your “photoshopped” comments somewhere else and quit trying to bring us all down now that we have crude drugs,
exactly, very photoshopped, very easy to spot
Man, I have not laughed this hard in ages! I don’t care whether its ‘real’ or not – it makes me laugh
so thats how i have to play poker?
Uuuhhmmm…….. i still dont get it.
Nevermind, got it!