Comments on: These toddlers have got to quit drinking

By: justin tyme

justin tyme — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:10:19 +0000

mostly obligatory, but ovbiously verbose. Its a shaem thaet theh world is getting to theis point. I think that obamah should stelp down and reelect George M. Bushe

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 05:46:36 +0000

No, SONAR classification and direction finding. What made that noise, why did it happen and where are they? Silence generates an automatic alarm.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:42:30 +0000

And Murcheson’s Eye?

By: JohnB

JohnB — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:17:40 +0000

My daughter started doing the “terrible twos” at about 18 months of age and still hasn’t stopped. I asked my mother what age they usually stop, and she said about 35.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:50:21 +0000

Sounds like a good idea to me, put your newborn child into a box where it can be tended and trained, until it’s of an age where you might be able to enjoy its company (say about 27).

By: dr handle

dr handle — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:49:27 +0000

Gripping hand.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:41:40 +0000

B.F. Skinner did invent the “baby tender,” a temperature controlled device in which babies were meant to be kept naked with some sort of provision made for waste disposal (sorry, folks, these 40-year-old memories can be a bit vague). It was really a fairly good idea, except that by then his strict behavioral theories had developed such a backlash that he was accused of inventing a “Skinner box for training kids.”

By: Shalin

Shalin — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 13:40:00 +0000

And if you have seen a baby discover a pocket, it can be entertaining to not only them but everyone watching.

By: Altair

Altair — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 11:22:07 +0000

It’s just another way to say “You are not the father of this child”.

By: bluejade

bluejade — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 07:48:57 +0000

Not to worry, that’s gross 24/7.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:51:08 +0000

Have you heard of the baby poo-pump? That’s where the body movements of a baby with a full load work the stuff all the way up baby’s back. I just found out about that one.
Apologies to anyone having dinner.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:42:26 +0000

I wondered about that too, when I saw my 7-month-old cousin in overalls with HIP POCKETS! Then she started to crawl (actually more like “worm” at this stage) towards the fire. Those pockets make good handles or baby brakes!

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:58:46 +0000

Parents should grow an additional arm during each pregnancy. I can carry 8 bags of groceries and open the house door by myself.

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:50:12 +0000

The suit only goes to the knees. You can hook longer pant legs or a sleeping bag bottom there for nap time.

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:46:46 +0000

Toddlers learning to walk look like sand buggies racing with intermittent ground contact. They learn their limits, learn to adapt, and then find their new limits. A heavy duty diaper provides protective padding on their bumpers.

By: MikeM

MikeM — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 01:36:24 +0000

Yeah, that’s definitely something you want to have your infant ready for.

By: KinkyTom

KinkyTom — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:51:45 +0000

Yeah just don’t let the DCFS find out lol

By: toilet shark

toilet shark — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:00:23 +0000

Having seen the performance that is getting a baby through the day, an undertaking that seems to entail several changes of clothes (and multiple loads of washing) as it keeps soiling itself, I have to wonder – why do people bother to dress them in the first place? Couldn’t you just put them in a lined bag from the waist down and put a poncho or something over its head, then hose them off every hour on the hour?

By: byebyebirdie

byebyebirdie — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 18:50:21 +0000

Win!

By: bluejade

bluejade — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:21:49 +0000

You guys are missing the message; this is the driving code instilled in infants. in Mexico. It could not be any more clear.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:14:28 +0000

To be practical, babies ought to come with installed luggage carriers, actually!

Before baby: Time to pack up for a spontaneous trip somewhere: Brief pit stop. Total time: 5 minutes.

After baby: Time to pack up for a spontaneous trip somewhere: 5 hours, including multiple trips back and forth to car, additional trips for things forgotten, trip back to house to change baby’s diaper, trip back to house to change entire baby due to puke, trip back to house for parents to change clothes from baby puke, trip back to house for extra clothes to change into in case baby pukes again, trip back to house to get… Total time: Aw, forget it. We’ll go somewhere next week.

By: cevin_cadaver

cevin_cadaver — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 15:53:02 +0000

Why do baby clothes always have pockets? What does a baby need to carry?

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 15:11:53 +0000

If they’re going fast enough, the well-known oversteer will soon fix that!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 15:01:05 +0000

Wipe a shoulder, but lead. Campaign slogan of a dandruff sufferer?

By: zippycat

zippycat — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:21:22 +0000

And I wondered about those too…. like you can attach the lines for para-sailing there or something?

By: zippycat

zippycat — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:20:25 +0000

Yep, I thought so too!

By: MikeM

MikeM — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 13:01:14 +0000

What’s with the little loops at the top of the legs? What are you supposed to attach there?

By: KinkyTom

KinkyTom — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 12:21:08 +0000

That’s the quality you get from sweatshops

Is it just me or does it look like they’re swerving into each other

By: saywhat

saywhat — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 11:53:54 +0000

ah, good one.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 11:46:56 +0000

♫ But your lead on my shoulder,
Unfamiliar of you, baby…..♫