« Previous The true story of Pedobear | Yum! Imported Chinese water. Next »
Sesame buns
The butter pastes the cake
Wheatcake
Duck cake
Mixed sea food Iraq government office surface
Fried Rice with Meat and Vegetables
Submitted by: Tala via Engrish Funny Submissions
 | Skink on I’ve Seen Enough He… |
 | Lurkur on I’ve Seen Enough He… |
| Lurkur on Sonichu the Engrish-Hog |
| Lurkur on They Have Some Funny Ideas Abo… |
| Lurkur on I’ve Seen Enough He… |
 | Perdita Durango on Translation FAIL |
 | Gas Bandit on I’ve Seen Enough He… |
 | JD on Please to Be Aware of Make Goo… |
 | Jag on Translation FAIL |
 | Brian on He Wants Him to Put It in His… |
Cheezburger Company Blog
First B1TCHES!!!!!
Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti (Arabic: صدام حسين عبد المجيد التكريتي Ṣaddām Ḥusayn ʿAbd al-Majīd al-Tikrītī; April 28, 1937 – December 30, 2006) was the President of Iraq from July 16, 1979 until April 9, 2003. A leading member of the revolutionary Ba’ath Party, which espoused secular pan-Arabism, economic modernization, and Arab socialism, Saddam played a key role in the 1968 coup that brought the party to long-term power.
As vice president under the ailing General Ahmed Hassan al-Bakr, and at a time when many groups were considered capable of overthrowing the government, Saddam created security forces through which he tightly controlled conflict between the government and the armed forces. In the early 1970s, Saddam spearheaded Iraq’s nationalization of the Western-owned Iraq Petroleum Company, which had long held a monopoly on the country’s oil. Through the 1970s, Saddam cemented his authority over the apparati of government as Iraq’s economy grew at a rapid pace.
As president, Saddam maintained power during the Iran–Iraq War of 1980 through 1988, and throughout the Persian Gulf War of 1991. During these conflicts, Saddam suppressed several movements, particularly Shi’a and Kurdish movements seeking to overthrow the government or gain independence, respectively. Whereas some Arabs venerated him for his aggressive stance against foreign intervention and for his support for the Palestinians, other Arabs and Western leaders vilified him as the force behind both a deadly attack on northern Iraq in 1988 and, two years later, an invasion of Kuwait to the south.
By 2003, the administration of U.S. President George W. Bush—in place following the elections of 2000—had convinced the public that Saddam remained sufficiently relevant and dangerous to be overthrown. In March of that year, the U.S. and its allies invaded Iraq, eventually deposing Saddam. Captured by U.S. forces on December 13, 2003, Saddam was brought to trial under the Iraqi interim government set up by U.S.-led forces. On November 5, 2006, he was convicted of charges related to the 1982 killing of 148 Iraqi Shi’ites suspected of planning an assassination attempt against him, and was sentenced to death by hanging. Saddam was executed on December 30, 2006. By the time of his death, Saddam had become a prolific author. Among his work are multiple novels dealing with themes of romance, politics, and war.
If you typed that out, you have no life.
Alice…
Bless your heart.
Grannie
Wait… you’re the same person who typed “first, b!tches,” and you’re going to accuse someone ELSE of having no life?
Wow.
I’m also the person who got on EF at just the right time.
Right time for what? for not having a life?
Loosen Uranus.
Is that the sister ship to Titan Uranus?
Win win WIN WIN WIN!
Titan and Loosen Uranus are more like cousins, who happen to be different as night and day. Actually I recommend steering a middle course…
Agreed. By steering a middle course between the two ships, you’re not likely to rectum.
How do you emoticon a drum rim-shot?
I suppose you can just write ++tish-BOOM!++
MRNot:
I found a Chinese character called Kangxi Radical Drum : ⿎ .
Maybe we could use that, and Chinese people might get some LOLZ because it probably has meanings we don’t know about.
PoodleGroomer: I LOLed!
If you don’t hit anything solid, you should be able to safely pass one.
Another ghastly anal-ogy from Droll.
I sincerely hope you copy and pasted…
I bow to your enthusiasm! Yowza!
Or are you comparing me to Sadam? U BASTUD!!!
I always hope, PG, that someone goes for the “First” comment because I really enjoy your mini-history lessons. They not only teach me something but make me laugh. And your strategy always gets the first commentor in their amour propres.
This website is just so educational. It’s nice to see that, just like maggots, “first” trolls do find a use in the grand scheme of things.
Except that they tend to grow into pesky flies! We need to find a growth hormone antidote that would keep them as harmless maggot trolls.
Mix them a mush of water and corn flakes and they make good fish bait.
Or Thanksgiving stuffing.
Real brain power on diapsly. Thanks for that answer!
Patron’s food:
Waitress: Is that a duck in your cake, or are you just happy to see me?
Yes, yes I am.
No, I’m not, but the duck is!
heh
HHhhhhhmmmmm… Tastes like sand… and maybe a little bit of IED?
I think what you’re tasting is the hint of plaster and stucco…
But it still leaves that scorched aftertaste of used gunpowder…. No tip for the waiter!
Mixed sea food banned by Iraq government office surface! NOT HALAL!
It’s a bugger trying to get all those fish pointing east before you net ‘em.
It looks like someone tried to use a bad online translator and copy/pasted both the translation and a google ad or a news ticker with it.
I found the map to the missing “WMD’s” covered with oyster sauce. NOT HALAL!
Yeah, well, *you* try getting all those damned oysters to face east whilst you harvest ‘em, then keep ‘em facing east until you shuck ‘em. They are thoroughly uncooperative. Damned apostate seafood.
Oysters are halal, all fish is fine as long as it wasn’t dead before you got it out of the water. You don’t use dhabīḥah slaughter techniques on fish, and even then, if I recall correctly, the animal doesn’t have to be facing Mecca (not east as that is dependent on where you are, obviously) during slaughter if it isn’t possible, but should be during the pre-slaughter rituals involving making sure the animal is fed, drinks, and is calm…. though I think it’s a issue of contention anyhow, as it’s being accepted by some islamic authorities that it is impractical to have for instance thousands of poultry a day slaughtered facing the same way in a factory, and sometimes they just ensure the workers face Mecca, and so forth.
But mostly I just wanted to point out that oysters are totally halal.
They’re not kosher though…
Oysters are halal, all fish is fine as long as it wasn’t dead before you got it out of the water. You don’t use dhabīḥah slaughter techniques on fish, so oysters are totally halal.
They’re not kosher though…
I’ll have the mixed seafood. Hold the Iraq Government Office Surface, please!
Same here y’all.
this butter pasting the cake…
…it…
…makes me…
…tingle.
Hello Shatner!
Well, Down Here it’s already Shatnerday.
and thank you all for gracefully accepting me into the engrish comments
We wait until you’ve been here a month before we start the rigorous screening process. You’ll have to bone up on the archives so that you can answer questions like, “Why do we discharge excrement?” [The answer happens to be, "Because it's so refreshing."]
don’t worry, i look up on that stuff
In that case, we won’t look down on you.
I’m pleased if someone has actually read the other posts for an item before posting themselves. Someone who actually goes to the archives to look stuff up, well, I’m sure glad to have you aboard!
We’re also just as happy to have you make stuff up. It works for the rest of us…
mmmm nuke food
So does that mean you’re eating a filing cabinet?
No. It just tastes like it.
anyone can tell me what should be the right translation?
Oh, spoilsport, where’s the fun in that?
The economical crisis must’ve hit Iraq hard, if they even sell government office surface’s.
the menu writer has a very odd case of tourettes syndrome?
Whoever finds Saddam has to buy the next one? Or is that only on Mardi Gras?
Onlyn in America.
No, Bandit Keith in America. You’re not fooling anyone!
MMMmmmmmmmmmmMMMMmmmm… I can never get enough of my Iraq government office surface!
I prefer the gooey chocolate inside.
I think I’ll just watch while the butter pastes the cake…
You perv.
…
So, what’s the cake wearing?
Aren’t you paying attention? Butter, obviously!
geez…
KK Rou,
The right translation should be “3 types of Seafood Egg Noodles”
The person translating the menu might have just used a online dictionary.
Why Iraq Government came out is because of the 3rd and 4th characters in the chinese (Kanji).
They are pronounced “YI” and “FU” respectively but at the same time the same characters also refers to abbreviated name of the Iraq Government.
In its original form, Iraq Government is “YI LA KE ZHENG FU”
(YI LA KE refer to Iraq, ZHENG FU refer to government”
It is common in Chinese to take the first and last characters of a phrase to refer something that could be easily understood.
But here’s the side effect we see….
Just as I suspected! The Iraqi government is being run by three egg noodles!
Finally some one else besides me realizes this!
Finally?? I left this comment back in July! Of course, if the Iranian government was being run by three egg noodles, that would be an improvement!
I’m always deeply gratified when someone with enough knowledge of Chinese (or whatever other language) figures out how these arose and is kind enough to explain. Thank you. I know English and a fair amount of German, and that’s all, and funny as some of these are, I really do want to know their genesis as well.
Agreed!
I understand a little bit of Cantonese, but can’t read it, though I understand Chinese language structure. My Dad has been studying Chinese calligraphy and has explained that a lot of the simplified characters also take out certain of the “poetic” factors of traditional characters. Easier for computers, bad for understanding.
forgot to add,
Why “surface” came about is due to the last character.
It has multiple meanings depending on the context,
either as noodles (only in Simplified Chinese)
or surface
or one’s face
What about the butter pastes the cake? Or is the cake just a lie?
You also forgot to explain “office.”
Chinese, especially the Chinese from Mainland China, often omits characters. If my memory is correct, there’s some sort of tradition from long back which basically stated “your ink is valuable” (in other words, use it wisely!).
So instead of putting, say, 卓面 (desk surface) we abbreviate and put only 面 (the last character in the menu item). The reader must interpret what the missing characters are (and if you know Chinese, it’s not very hard).
面 has a multitude of meanings on its own. It can mean noodles, or…surface! Yes, surface! Now to figure out what was omitted, and somehow they came to the conclusion that the “office” part was missing so they took “office surface” as the correct translation.
The cake is always a lie. And office is inexplicable. Only omnipotence can explain the inexplicable and we still would not understand.
Omnipotence allows you to walk through inpenitratable walls. Omniscience leads you to the door.
Omnipresence makes both the walls and the doors irrelevant. Makes theology a lot easier for pantheists and panentheists. (I am, incidentally, of the latter persuasion.)
You believe in a god of frypans?
i believe in the Pancreator.
Then there are the parentheists (I am not one of them, though), who believe only what they read in appended but inserted passages.
John B – you comment is a thing of comedic beauty.
The only problem is that I’m not a parentheist, so I don’t know whether to believe your assertion that you’re not one either.
Your comment.
I comment am a thing of comedic beauty. Sounds like a perfectly good Engrish compliment to me!
Nicely put, but did you mean parentheSists? (I’m not sure I’ve ever seen either word).
Oh, and I googled “panentheists”. That’s a really interesting angle on the God question.
I just made up “parentheists” as a play on “panentheists,” of course, although etymologically “parenthesists” would actually make more sense. But I am seriously a panentheist. Whenever I get into serious discussions with atheists I find that they don’t believe in a God that I don’t believe in either, even though I strongly believe in God.
Cake never lies! Only pudding lies.
What is the trustworthiness and truthiness of frozen custard?
Frozen custard is always pretending to be real ice cream. Not a lot of truthiness there!
It depends on the flavour. For instance, you should demand a refund on your toilet shark flavoured ice-cream if it doesn’t bite back; that’s a sure indication that there are no actual sharks in it, they just got some flying sharks to leap over it a couple of times.
I doubt that I would ever even try toilet shark flavored ice cream; but if it bit me back, that would certainly be the last time!
Did they just call the Iraq Government a noodle face? <..> o.O
Mmmm… you make my Engrish fun and educational. ^_^ thanks or the translation
The butter pastes the cake,
The butter pastes the cake.
Hi ho the derry-oh
The butter pastes the cake!
The cake takes the duck,
The cake takes the duck….
shouldn’t it rather be “hi ho dairy-oh”, then?
DPH fairy will come and bonk you for that!
Regardless of the DPH fairy’s response or lack thereof (lately, she’s been a bit busy with the Toilet Shark business), I strongly advise you not to dare Io. You never know what Saturn’s moons might be up to!
Dreadful Pun Hell fairy can take time off from moonlighting as a toilet shark to say: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *clonk*
Geez, and you thought the idea of toilet shark flavoured ice-cream was off-putting…
Ok, Dr.Handle, you can’t fool us with your Toilet Shark disguise. I can tell it’s really you underneath that large gray fin, with your dead gray eyes…no wait, wait, no no no no…..Aaargh!
Besides, duck cake is a lot less likely to have mercury in it (old an old boot) than toilet shark ice cream.
That’ll teach me not to proofread. OR an old boot.
I liked your ‘old an old boot’ mini twilight zone!
The Twilight Zone is a great place to live as long as you have no expectations of sanity or logic. Much like Washington DC.
MMMMUUUUUCCCCHHHHHHH!
So could you enlighten me as to where, on this planet, I can safely entertain expectations of sanity or logic?
I never promised anyone safety! Safety and logic rarely fit in the same space. Sanity and safety have a better record, since sanity allows us to find the safest ways to interact. Logic insists on its own way, safety be demmed.
Okay. Then where on this planet can I dangerously entertain expectations of sanity and logic?
I can answer my own question, now, actually. Sanity and logic are always dangerous anywhere on this planet!
Just like you, John B, to answer your own question!
(You got it right though, so here’s a gold star, no, actually it’s a butter-pasted golden cake as your reward.)
Planet rating: Mostly harmless.
Obviously you never spent a night in Bedford-Stuyvesant.
But it is so easy to old an old boot! Olding a young boot can take years…
Have I mentioned here before that at school my nickname was Jaws? *goes back to mauling hollr57′s very tasty leg*
Why was that? Very sharp teeth to go with the very sharp mind?
Judging from some of her past comments, I would guess it’s a reference to her ability to engulf food.
Healthy appetite combined with some serious heavy metal braces. Also a most unsporting willingness to perpetrate intellectual mauling on students whose talents ran more to the sporting than the academic. I’m a better sport these days – I refrain from getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
Pax vobiscum, dear Dr. The sports cliques of my day had no problems with seeking out the halt and lame (in basket and volleyball) and gleefully stomping on them. Sharpening our teeth on their inflated egos just made them a bit less puffy. It was a mercy biting!
You really shouldn’t be eating Holly. She’s not in season!
And I’m not well seasoned either.
Well, then, season the day!
That’s why you were being as-salt-ed.
I’m a toilet shark. I’m hungry. Think very carefully before you ask to see my holly-eating licence.
I have been accused of many things in my time, but never once has anyone accused me of being the Toilet Police. Or the Toilet Game Warden.
I tried playing the Toilet Game, but I soon got pi$$ed off.
Sooner or later, Droll has to start with the Dreadful Puns, and there goes the thread down the pan…
It starts with thread, then before you know it someone is throwing in metal parts…
Alien .vs. Predator debate: Which is more dangerous, The flying toilet shark, or snakes in a toilet??
Just like in antique auctions, rarity is all. Snakes in a toilet or a lot more common than toilet sharks, or snakes in a plane, for that matter. Therefore snakes ina toilet, or on a plane, or in a tree are more dangerous, you see. I do not like them in the rain, I do not like them on a train, I do not like them in toilet, and if they’re there then I will boil it.
*Grandma to 12 can recite Green Eggs & Ham by heart.*
Boil it in a toilet? Is that an available option on the Toto Wash Let? Or do you use a Circle Type Dish of Microwave?
A toilet shark is also a lot easier to distract – just drop in a small scoop of ice-cream and flush, and the toilet shark will go racing off around the U-bend chasing the ice-cream.
Cast your bread upon the toilet waters, for after many days you will find a very bloated shark!
Please to be casting brioche or nice scones upon your toilet waters, raspberry jam appreciated, kthx.
I still have some semtex scones for clearing the toilet of sharks, snakes and hard water stains.
Just going to report you to the RSPCTS, brb.
i’ll have to go with snakes in a toilet. just so you know, your debate is really random. no offense.
No offense, but your random is really a debate. And if you go with snakes in a toilet, you’ll be going in circles.
and after one day of unattentiveness, we end up with this, snakes in toilets, thank you and good night
Dreadful Spelling Sprite must *ding* the use of “unattentiveness.” The proper prefix is “in,” as in “inattentiveness.” The lack of capitalization and punctuation rate you two additional *dings*. But you’re welcome and good night.
You’ll find that on this website, strange tangent is not just an option, it’s a way of life…
And sometimes mandated. If not by the DPH and others of her ilk, by our own inner twistings and turnings.
Our inner circular dish of microwave.
And BTW, of what ilk is the DPH fairy???
Well, retributive fabulous (as in described in fable) beings, perhaps, which would include the Dreadful Pun Hell fairy, the Dreadful Spelling Sprite, and possibly the First Troll Lecturer. Not the toilet shark, though. Toilet sharks are REAL. Just ask holly. Ask to look at her toilet shark scars.
Anne Ilk. That’s my theory.
and when i get the troll who poked mah eye out…
lol, (that’s all)
The butter pastes the cake… or it gets the hose again.
MEATCAKE!!! (thanks, George)
That’s even better than the drink I found on the menu at a restaurant in Xi’an, China. It was some sort of tea that was translated as “The Peru system Buddha jumps the wall”. I wish I had a picture of it.
The Peru system Buddha jumps the wall? XD
While I was looking at this…
an advertisement for Internet for US troops in Iraq o.o
Troll said, “I tried playing the Toilet Game, but I soon got pi$$ed off.”
Troll, I find it better to be pi$$ed off than pi$$ed on.