Comments on: Your wife will love it!

By: Sylvia

Sylvia — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:01:53 +0000

Yes, recieving pet excrement has always been my wish… XD

By: Atsuke

Atsuke — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 17:59:04 +0000

That’s actually an accurate translation, and I’m not even kidding. Apparently, when I was in Japan, I’d see “litter” instead of the word “crap” like on the sign posted here.

By: Kid Choronsom

Kid Choronsom — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:53:17 +0000

And that would NOT be Engrish….

By: Kid Choronsom

Kid Choronsom — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:41:01 +0000

hahaha…you are right…there is a chance this is not Engrish, but perfect translation

By: AdamBast

AdamBast — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:15:55 +0000

You could’ve texted me instead of this…

By: David

David — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:28:52 +0000

OMFG I HAVE THAT PHOTO O_O

isnt this in front of AMPM in roppongi o__o….i lived in the apartment like…literally a few seconds away

By: NFITC1

NFITC1 — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 19:18:39 +0000

The literal translation is closer to “Pet excrement, please return home”. It’s like a request direct at whatever a pet leaves behind.

By: tonique

tonique — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:57:29 +0000

That’s what Pippi Longstockings did, the house she kept her horse in (or on the porch) wasn’t than common. (link)

By: Really?

Really? — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:24:03 +0000

Thank you, I LOLed.

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:21:36 +0000

I call my dog the house horse because when he lies down across the room, he is lying across the room.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:48:04 +0000

You have to wonder what would be going on in the newsroom that the anchor would be required to throw to the toilet. “And now, in breaking news, a custard shark has been spotted by toilet tourists in Shanghai. Our porcelain-fitting-on-the-spot is in the third cubicle from the left… so, Toilet, can you tell us what has happened since the custard shark was first spotted?”

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:24:19 +0000

God, who as you know is a close personal friend of mine, sometimes has the delusion that he’s a surgeon. That crazy old coot!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:11:48 +0000

After seeing Poo Story, I never want excrement to feel cold, alone, and unloved.

By: Really?

Really? — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:01:27 +0000

I worked as vet tech for over 10 years. The sample has to be fresh but it doesn’t have to be kept warm. You can put the plastic bag of poo in a paper bag. But if keeping it close and warm makes you feel better I guess it doesn’t hurt anything.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:11:46 +0000

Just do not throw to the toilet!!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:07:38 +0000

That is unbelievably cruel, bringing home a pet just to step on it in the middle of the night!!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:06:42 +0000

You shouldn’t keep your horse in a common house! At least let it have a house of some architectual distinction.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:37:51 +0000

That’s what they all say!

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:13:36 +0000

It wasn’t me! It was the dog.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:36:03 +0000

Well, one merely has to have a bit of back trouble (as I have, off and on, more and more on than off) for the past 20 years, to realize that stacking the vertebrae up in a vertical column was really not the best idea, either. I have, however, so far declined all offers by eager surgeons to cut on me.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:08:17 +0000

Dreadful Pun Hell fairy will throw it at you so you may wear it, you dreadful punner.

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:12:54 +0000

The poodle is on the dividing line between Canis lupus familiaris, and Canis equus domesticus, the common house horse.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:28:49 +0000

The theory goes that by rearranging your genome constantly, you make life much more difficult for microbial parasites. It’s a strategy that seems to work for things from bacteria to primates.
On the whole, though, there are a lot of things that could be presented as evidence for a theory of Incompetent Design.
Geez, you should hear my shoulder orthopod get started on What Is Wrong With The Human Shoulder Joint For What Humans Do With It And I Could Design It Much Better – he can go for 5 minutes solid without repeating himself. Only natural, I suppose, what with surgeons supposedly thinking that they are gods.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:24:58 +0000

The Joy Of Engrish.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:24:37 +0000

Dreadful Pun Hell fairy saw what you did there.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:36:29 +0000

So it is with sizing all over. The standard one they call “large,” the oversized one is “extra large,” and the biggest is the “Ginormous Humongous Tankard.”

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:45:05 +0000

Mother Nature obviously has a warped sense of humor! Not just that, but think about it. Why and how did she come up with tooth decay? Presbyopia? Even secks, for God’s sake! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy secks, but however did she come up with that as a means of procreation???

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:58:30 +0000

If the poo fits, wear it.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:47:47 +0000

Exactly! What message would be conveyed by a bag of burning flowers left on your doorstep?

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:43:44 +0000

… especially on the doormat in a burning paper bag!

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:41:03 +0000

Oh noes! Not Poo Stories!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:50:19 +0000

Flowers just can’t express the kind of feelings that a pile of crap conveys.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:41:50 +0000

I’ll try. But there are just so many of them in there, all just bursting to get out!!!

By: JohnB

JohnB — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 13:39:39 +0000

Tew. Just beat the third one with a hammer.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:23:32 +0000

Until then, you can make do* with Animal Colon.

*pun intended.

By: Droll not Troll

Droll not Troll — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:17:16 +0000

I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who…
Mr. Frampton, I understand that you – um – as it were…
Well let me put it another way. Erm, I believe
that whereas most people have – er – two… Two.

By: Aaron Hong

Aaron Hong — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:08:26 +0000

How can they get it this close… and yet so VERY far off…

By: giraffie

giraffie — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:16:10 +0000

It’s like a door gift from mother nature. No really! It’s all yours!

By: Basara549

Basara549 — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:46:07 +0000

This the second step in getting the flowers – manure fertilizer for the seeds you planted. It just takes a few weeks to get the flowers after that.

By: dr handle

dr handle — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:35:15 +0000

Whatever happend to “Say it with flowers”?

By: dr handle

dr handle — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:33:15 +0000

Yes, well, rather large animals, your standard poodle.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:42:18 +0000

And I suppose you would, say, carry it between your teeth? Hold it in your hand and wave it at passers-by? I mean what are you supposed to do with a bag of dog doo??

By: PoodleGroomer

PoodleGroomer — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:38:53 +0000

I get the dog’s shots and tags renewed in winter and the stool sample should be fresh and warm for a live parasite check. If the sample is too old, the doctor has to put on an exam glove and retrieve a fresh sample.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:29:04 +0000

The “Wish” heading is also rather Engrishy, since we don’t tend to use “wish” in this kind of situation.

By: JohnB

JohnB — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:20:19 +0000

Humans do have an amazing capacity to suppress reflexes if they have enough motivation.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:52:12 +0000

And a well suppressed gag reflex

By: It's JohnB

It's JohnB — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:55:46 +0000

No, it’s not!

By: No, it's not!

No, it's not! — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:55:14 +0000

There’s nothing wrong with “pet’s,” since “pet’s” is the possessive form of “pet.” So, “Bring a pet’s excrement home” is grammatically incorrect only insofar as the “bring” is used instead of “take,” as I discussed above. However, the Engrish of it is particularly the “a” instead of “your,” which to a native speaker suggests any old pet’s excrement will do. And when combined with the inappropriate “bring,” it ends up sounding like a food commercial! “Engrish” is more than just about syntax and grammar. I won’t get into the reasons (because I’m tired of doing it!), but you won’t have to look very far back into the archives if you really want to find it.

By: Hasabrain

Hasabrain — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:36:48 +0000

The only engrish fail is the apostrophe in pet’s. Otherwise its a valid sentence, and almost certainly what they mean. In quite a few countries fouling on public property is forbidden, and I assume here they insist its disposed of at your own residence.

By: No, it's not!

No, it's not! — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:22:03 +0000

I can see that being rendered into Japanese meaning something like, “Make owl noises that do not contain effluvium and other baleful biology.”