Lim Wei: Hi James, I am here, how are you? I have been waiting for you for a long time.
James: (walking quickly) Oh, how are you? Shhh…, don’t shout.
Lim Wei: What do you mean?
James: Why do you need to shout? It embarrassed me.
Lim Wei: Almost all Chinese speak loudly.
James: Oh, I forgot, I am in China now. Thank you for meeting me here.
Submitted by: Jmac-Gtown via Engrish Funny Submissions
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Copy & paste this:
You wear your MVP T shirt shopping and expec people to keep quiet? Yeah right, LeBron.
I have no explanation for the missing t’.
Well, you know those expec people. They probably stole your “t.” They’re bad enough when they’re just pecs, but then, post-op…
THIS IS CHINAAAAAA!!!
CHINA?!
THIS! IS! A WEBSITE!
THIS IS NOT SPARTA!!!!!
O RLY?
And not a pipe, either!
THAT WAS A BAD REFERENCE!!!!!
THAT WAS A FUNNY REFERENCE!!!!!!
YES FUNNY, BUT OVERUSED!!!!!1! :p
Speaking loudly doesn’t mean shout. Racist author it was.
THAT’S WHAT I KEEP TELLING MY WIFE! I’M NOT SHOUTING, I’M JUST SPEAKING WITH EMPHASIS!
YOU CANNOT CONTROL THE VOLUME OF YOUR VOICE, IT’S A MEDICAL CONDITION!
SNL ref FTW!
Sry, that may have been MadTV
The Loud Family as done in a comedy skit was, I believe, SNL, but long ago. The only person I can see clearly in my vague image of the skit is Joe Piscopo.
Will Ferrell also did something on SNL about “voice modulation control.”
Ok, Billy Mays.
Talking like Yoda, you are.
Wisdom in talk Yoda has. Syntax strange alone, wisdom does not make.
I FORGOT I WAS IN CHINA.
I often forget I’m in China.
The giant wall and all the Chinese people milling around, didn’t register in my brain.
WOW, YOU MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF MENTAL PROBLEM!!
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Are you familiar with the concept of “sarcasm”? And, incidentally, repeating the same thing over and over for no apparent reason is called “perseveration,” which is a sign of organic brain impairment.
orginic whothewhata?
…perseverating.. would be something Autistics do. I myself, am a rocker =o)
Sarcasm is a form of humor that uses sharp, cutting remarks or language intended to mock, wound, or subject to contempt or ridicule.[1] It is first recorded in English in The Shepheardes Calender in 1579:
Tom piper) An Ironical [Sarcasmus], spoken in derision of these rude wits, which make more account of a rhyming Rimbaud, then of skill grounded upon learning and judgment.
—Edmund Spenser
It comes from the ancient Greek σαρκάζω (sarkazo) meaning ‘to tear flesh’ but the ancient Greek word for the rhetorical concept of taunting was instead χλευασμός (chleyasmόs).
there, i know what sarcasim is!
and no, i did *not* use wikipedia for (not) copying this!
so go stick your head in a microwave! :!
So could you give us a link to the wikipedia page you didn’t copy?
no, i deleted my search history. (not that it would be there anyways)
P.S. go play in the middle of a busy highway!
*goes to middle of busy highway to continue playing with ShadowSplicer’s head*
Wow! This median strip is wide.
Persevation?
That a perversion of perseverance?
So THAT’S why the Chinese are so poorly endowed.
ALMOST ALL CHINESE SPEAK LOUDLY SO YOU GET EMBARRASSED.
I have a few pretty good blackout stories, but I sure don’t have any that start out, “Oh, I forgot I am in China now.” Of course, if it’s true that the Chinese almost all speak loudly, had I awoken in China with a raging hangover, I doubt that story would have ended well!
IT’S PROBABLY TO HEAR OVER ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE!
Makes sense doesn’t it?
Sorry, it doesn’t. I never can seem to hear what anybody else is saying when I’m shouting!
I thought the stereotype was that Chinese people were supposed to speak softly? What the heck is this book anyway?
That’s only when we meet white people. Try going to a real Chinese restaurant (as in, one where a lot of Chinese people actually eat) and you’ll be surprised by the noise level.
The other thing too, is that China is a HUGE country and far from culturally homogenous.
Do you speak English?
DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
How am I supposed to get around in China if nobody here speaks English?
Do you speak English?
DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
How am I supposed to get around in China if nobody here speaks English?
I see. The louder you speak, the bolder you get.
How can James forget he’s in China if ”almost all Chinese speak loudly?”
If it’s deafening it must be China.
I was thinking it was James Bond and he took some sort of crazy detour underground (he dug to China!) and didn’t have to go through all the airport/etc.
How’s that hypothesis?
This isn’t Engrish, it’s just strangely worded English. It makes sense and is grammatically correct (except for that extra comma), but NO ONE talks like that.
Oh, I forgot, I am in China now. I couldn’t tell bnefore by the weird symbols on all the signs, the pollution, and the Communism!
but, this is correctly translated. and quite true. there’s really no engrish to it at all.
Another example of somebody seeing English in a foreign situation and going ‘Derf de doo, lookit what the funny monkey people did’
But seriously, this is a stereotype I have heard plenty times before, and always from Chinese people. they are very out-and-proud about being loudmouths.
*sigh* I wish people who were going to be so critical about submissions on this site would stick around long enough so that we would not have to keep explaining this over and over. Or at least look through the archives. Just below I did this explanation as Buckinarut would do it, although not as well. (I’m tired of doing it the way I do it!) This time I’ll imitate PoodleGroomer, who I will quote loosely, the key concept in Engrish is the culture clash caused by people whose mode of expression and view of life is markedly different from that in the West, who use English and thus expose some of the stark differences in culture and communication. To me, the other key concept is that THIS IS OFTEN FUNNY! If you read that passage and did not find it funny, find another one, or find another site. This is NOT at all about “look at the funny monkey people” or “boy those foreigners are stupid.” ALL of the regulars on this site are fully cognizant that English speakers trying to speak other languages say as many stupid and funny things as vice versa, if not many, many more. This means that a perfectly translated passage can still be extremely funny. For me, the most hilarious part of this passage is the statement, “oh, I forgot I was in China.” In this case it may reflect that the author of that dialog is a complete idiot, or that the character is intended to be a complete idiot, but in either case, that made me LOL. If you did not find it funny, perhaps you could find a remedial humor class.
And my name here is not usually Yoda!! If I had realized I forgot to change it back, I would have worded it in Yodaspeak, which might have been more fun.
I knew it was you JohnB.
With you, the Force is. Know, or know not. There is no think.
yeah, i don’t think you evur think, or, no think, or…what? STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD!!!!!
Speak well you do. Cut and encase in paste we must for future encounters with humor impaired beings.
Of which there seem to be legions! You’d think the word “funny” in the name of the website might scare them off…
This is supposed to be funny? Oh, I forgot I was in funny-land. *runs off with arms waving in the air, screaming madly*
On this planet, you’re always in funny-land.
it is funny but unless its a mis translation, that ought yo be on failblog rather than engrish funny, because engrish implies that something was lost or twisted in translation.
Yo! Be on failblog. Arguing about what is or isn’t Engrish isn’t funny. Remember, this is “engrishfunny,” and for most of us, the second part is the more important.
The man didn’t remember he was in China?
He’s kind of stupid
Kind of?
It’s not really Engrish, everything is translated correctly.
*sigh* Where’s Buck when you need him? Well, I’ll try my best impression: Two words. Denotation and connotation. (Let’s see… Now I need to ramble on for a half a page or so, with a recognizable country drawl… Hmmm…)
LOL, I read it as “Detonation” and exploded into giggles
BOOM HAHAHA!
Actually, the first time Buckinarut said that, I replied that we should also not forget the words “detonation” and “cottonation,” lest we find ourselves naked with our house blown up.
I hate it when I forget which country I’m in!
In Soviet Russia, the country never forgets you’re in.
FTW!
I left my attack-boots in China.
Where did you leave your defend-boots?
IN AMERICA!
In America, we think the best defend-boots are attack-boots.
I’m wearing my Boots Of Escaping!
Well, you’ve gotten yourself about as far away from our attack-defend-boots as you can, so those must be some pretty fine boots!
To get any farther away, you’d need anti-gravity boots!
You cannot grasp the true form of Lim Wei’s attack!
WIN!
James apparently forgot that he was speaking Chinese as well.
That James can speak any language at all is amazing! He’s in China, getting embarassed because a Chinese person was speaking loudly in Chinese to other Chinese people who obviously were also speaking loudly, and apparently in Chinese, while somehow not noticing that he is in China, and that people are speaking Chinese, and he is, too! How does this man find matching shoes in the morning??? Is this a Chinese soap, “The Young and the Clueless?”
More likely, “The Old and the Demented.”
No he knows so freaking many languages that it is just a blur to him, as is most of reality.
*wipes tears of laughter from her cheeks*
I thought it was funny to begin with, but you’ve added an extra flavour … like salt on chips
(Please ignore the cat behind the curtain, she hasn’t had coffee yet)
That’s the fun of this site. We take something funny and engage in a lot of back-and-forth that makes it even funnier. On bad days, it’s a nice break from work. On good days, it’s absolutely hysterical!!
yeah- Chinese people talk loudly!
dont you get it? thats why they cant wisper!
Qao Xin my workmate says she can’t help speaking loudly – she says that being from China, where there are so many people, you have to learn to speak loudly to make yourself heard. I’m not sure what excuse Kate has, I think she’s just a loudmouth.
He’s forgotten what country he’s in, and that he’s speaking a language that isn’t his native tongue? Man, was *that* a party!
When the Acts of the Apostles speaks of Jesus’ BFFs speaking in tongues and people thinking they are drunk, I can relate. I used to speak all sorts of languages no one ever understood! Of course, it wasn’t necessarily better if they understood…
That reminds me, I first learned hypnosis as a party stunt, years before I ever learned the clinical used. If I had a particularly good subject (of course, that partly depended upon the pre-procedure medication), I’d regress them into past lives and they’d begin speaking in what sounded darn like foreign languages, but always ones that no one in the room spoke. I suspect it was just their minds doing their best to comply with instructions, but who knows?
…if this is reprinted off the label on the backside of a lower mid-priced bottle of Scotch Whiskey then I totally understand what they are talking about…
One of my favorite places to visit!
I get the impression that this is from a Chinese textbook for English speakers, not the other way around… so how exactly is this Engrish?
I wish I still had my Russian textbooks from beginning Russian, since many of the dialogs they presented for practice were so bizarre they would definitely qualify as Engrish! One of the phrases I have retained to this day is, “The architecture of the cathedral is not at all like that of the West.” Now I have nothing against discussions of architecture, but I suspect that if I were really in Russia I’d be more interested in phrases like, “Where’s the bathroom,” and “What kind of meat is this, exactly?”
It is most probably meat from one of the dogs shot by the cathedral who’s architecture is not like in the west. By the bathroom.
Cathedrals in Russia are often noted for their “onion-like” tops, often of gold. I didn’t know they also shot dogs.
It’s true, we do shot/speak loudly mainly because there’s too much talking around us.
How do I shot loudly?
10-gauge shotgun. Or a short-barreled .357 magnum. A shot from either one can render you temporarily half-deaf.
Having been born and raised in the NY metro area, and having lived the past 30+ years in mostly rural settings or small cities, when I’ve gone back to New York it always strikes me how noisy it is in general, and how loud people talk. One of the things I love about rural living is that it’s not at all hard to find a quiet place.
billy mays is chinese? 0_o
YES! I AM CHINESE! THANKS TO OUR NEW PRODUCT, ASIAN-I-B! BEFORE USING ASIAN-I-B, I WAS JUST A NONDESCRIPT WHITE PITCH MAN WHO CAUGHT YOUR ATTENTION MAINLY BY YELLING. BUT NOW THAT I HAVE USED ASIAN-I-B, I HAVE A REASON FOR TALKING SO LOUD!! I’M CHINESE!! ALL WE CHINESE DO IT!! YOU, TOO, CAN DO IT!! FOR ONLY $19.95, YOU GET A FULL BOTTLE OF ASIAN-I-B, ALONG WITH OUR SPECIAL OFFER OF OUR BEST BLACK COLORING FOR HEAD AND FACIAL HAIR, MIDNIGHT-HEAD, SO THAT YOUR HAIR CAN BE AS DARK AS MINE, EVEN THOUGH I’M OLD ENOUGH TO BE GRAYING SOMEWHERE!! BUT NOT WITH NEW ASIAN-I-B AND MIDNIGHT-HEAD!! OTHER RACIAL CONVERSION PRODUCTS MAKE CLAIMS, BUT ASIAN-I-B GETS RESULTS!!! JUST WATCH AS WE TAKE THIS NONDESCRIPT BLOND CAUCASIAN, AND USING ASIAN-I-B… *drones on and on*
Was this inspired by Kenny Everett’s “How To Become A Bee Gee” sketch?
If it was, it was entirely subconscious, since I have no conscious recollection of any such sketch.
Once seen, never forgotten. It’s probably on the interwebs somewhere.
Hey, I LIVE in China, and I can tell you that this is not necessarily true.
In Beijing, all Taxi drivers are loud, salespeople are loud, and cranky people are loud. Everyone else seems to be on key with American sound levels, and even beneath.
Maybe this is a European stereotype?
But if we say that Europeans tend to see Chinese that way, are we not stereotyping Europeans?
THAT IS NOT ENGRISH! OMFG!
I thought everyone knew Chinese people can’t whisper
That’s where the game came from