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first
First Reply.
Stir flyer
Trip slyer
Ripe ply
Tile pry
[Repeat next command@times: NaN] /facepalm
aw, that’s a cutesy poo little animal colon. Yes you are!
But that looks nothing like what my dog pooped out!
If your dog poops out his colon, he’s in serious trouble!
Anyone want a doggy bag? NOOOOO!
How lame do you have to be to be first? Anyway, I believe it’s supposed to be cologne.
oh you’re right. It’s lame to be first. I’ll just limp away now.
OK, let’s have these three simple points clarified:
1. There is absolutely nothing lame about being first. It is a rare privilege, kind of like being the first downhill skier on a slope. You can cut your own path, tempting others to follow.
2. It is quite lame to say, “First,” especially if you say nothing else, because: a) We can all see who is first; and b) If you don’t say anything, you’re really not the first. The first person to come up with something really funny is showing they have a quick wit. The first person to say “First” is showing that they have learned what number comes after zero.
3. It is quite lame to complain about people who say, “First,” and nothing else, because when someone does something lame we can all see that, too. It is no demonstration of intelligence to note that something is lame. If you say, “Saying first is lame,” you have only demonstrated that you too can be lame. Being lame is very easy.
No, I am not in charge here. I simply hold these truths to be self-evident. Any questions???
Will this be on the exam?
There’s gonna be a test??
As I always tell students, you never know what might be on the exam, since I know that if you say, “This won’t be on the exam, but…” you have already lost their attention, and good luck getting it back. And yes, there will be a test. There’s always a test of some kind. On some days, for me it’s just getting out of bed!
Aw, man, he’s gunna set essay questions, I just know it…
Any exam that doesn’t include latex gloves and the word prostate is ok.
I can’t understand why there are all these jokes about prostate exams and how distressing they are. I had my first a few weeks ago, and aside from the odd sensation after the Doc found my prostate, I didn’t find the process painful, distressing, or remarkable at all. No more disturbing than the blood test that goes with it. Did I miss something? Or are most other straight men uptight about the subject?
Some men seem to be from the planet Titan Uranus.
But srsly, I hear lots of complaints about the colonoscopy, too. Having had irritable bowel syndrome all my life, when I’d complain the docs would always insist on test to rule out cancer etc. Back then, they used a procedure called the Barium Enema. Now that involved pumping what seemed like several gallons into you, through the back door, and then you had to hold it while they took x-rays, posing this way and that, despite your intense discomfort. Then, just when you thought the suffering was about to be over, they had to go and develop the x-rays, while you waited, holding it in, to be sure they came out. And if one or more of them didn’t, then it was more poses again! Now THAT was an uncomfortable procedure. Fortunately it has largely been replaced by the colonoscopy. So I tell people gettting a colonoscopy that they’re getting off easy!
Ok, so it’s cologne. Now why would I want smell like a freakin penguin?
In exchange for having secks with the female penguin, the male then sits on the egg that she produces all through the Antarctic winter while she brings home occasional take-out. I can only surmise she must smell AWFULLY good!
Female Adelie penguins will also have secks in exchange for nesting material (stones), so maybe if you could get a good-sized handful of gravel together you could have sexy time.
I’ve known females who were much more interested in having secks after they got stoned!
Damn those sodomizing penguins!!
Nothing like the smell of sweet colon for your pets.
You have to admit it’s a cute little thing; I’d call it just a semicolon.
I miss when people would write “FIRST” and then Palsyboy would step in with a fake psa in retaliation.. ::sniff:: where are you palsyboy?
Awww…I remember Palsyboy…back when I was still a ‘lurker’…he made me laugh
Wow those nails are horrid.
I must say I agree, the fingers aren’t all that aesthetic either.
You all noticed the fingernails?!
I had to go back and look after these comments. 0_o I was too busy laughing at that picture of the penguin with its beak wide open!
It was my first first and then Joseph came along and popped my happy balloon. *sniff*
You redeemed yourself by following that “First!” with an immediate silly!
There really are no unforgiveable sins around here. I can’t tell the number of times I have been banished to Dreadful Pun Hell! But I always return…
Which of the 9 levels is that?
The eleventh.
That’s the amazing thing about Dreadful Pun Hell – it goes all the way up to 11.
Someone once asked “Why don’t you just make the 10th circle hotter?” but it played merry hell with the revolving door.
This must be one of the merchandising toys from Poo Story.
It could be something to blame “that smell” on, if you don’t have a dog.
Scratch ‘n’ sniff?
Wow, he’s so cute.
Last!
Now anyone else who comments makes me a cake! :p
Sorry – the cake is a lie.
That’s why you make me a cake. I’m not last anymore….
Chocolate cake with strawberries, of coarse!
Coarse strawberries or coarse chocolate, or both is fine with me.
Why does it have a brown nose?
You don’t really want to know, do you???
That’s a Poo Story.
I wish my colon looked like that. Then when I died, they could put it in one of those weird medical crap museums.
And meanwhile, you’d be crapping, sort of, into a bag.
Just what I always wanted!!!
Psst- that’s a butt plug (a type of sex toy). Hasn’t anyone noticed that?!
Well, there is no end of objects that can be inserted into one’s rectum, depending upon one’s motivation and physical demensions, but I sincerely doubt this penguin gets much play of that type.