Toilet
One place, one dream
Submitted by: Jordan Melville via Engrish Funny Submissions
Seen in a ramen shop in Vancouver, BC, Canada
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Dead links rule.
what dead links ?
I dream of the ‘female’ icon getting her other leg back…
Welcome to the Toilet zone…..
*sigh* Why categorize valid translations as Engrish?
Because the “valid” translation is strange, inscrutable as to intent, and funny! *lol*
I mark this as the best answer. Any complicated answers to this are just too… complicated.
You’re a moron. Die.
LOL will find a way.
Maybe they’re not just telling you that the toilets are unisex, but that they’re integrated too.
“I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the [toilet] of brotherhood.”
I did kinda consider that. It’s just that an exclamation of great moral conviction and justice isn’t normally what I expect to encounter when I race to the loo.
But if there be peace in the privy one day, then all I can say is Amen!
Because a translation is only “valid” if it work in context. If translation was simply a matter of picking words out of a dictionary than it would not take 6-7 years to train as a professional and computers could do it. From all the evidence here and on other sites, you can see that it takes much more than “validity” to make a good translation!
You raise a very good point about how word for word translations can be ineffective at getting the point across. For example, if you said to someone who only speaks Spanish “llueve gatos y perro
accidently hit the “inject comment” button too early. anyway, that spanish phrase is a litteral translation of “it’s raining cats and dogs.” If you said that to a spanish speaker he’d think you were crazy.
I did that one time. I translated the phrase “it’s all water under the bridge” directly into Spanish, and no one knew what the hell it was I was saying. Luckily, a bilingual friend was nearby, shook his head and said, “que no se traduce”; I was trying to be a smart ass and obviously failed. I realize all I had to say was “no es importante” and there would have been no problems.
And over here is the vending machine with funny balloons … They do what?
Do you put’em over those funny cotton things in the vending machine over there?
No they were XL and fit over the 12-16 lb messy diaper I changed out of that machine. If they were any good, I wouldn’t be changing diapers.
I have a dream today: that one toilet will be in one place, and that men and women will have the freedom to use it. I guess I don’t dream on a grand scale now, do I?
few decades late for that I’m afraid.
Why am I reminded of that “Somewhere That’s Green” song at the end of Little Shop of Horrors?
Because it’s a good song, from a good movie, with a good singer, and a good dream. Ellen Green didn’t sing about the one toilet but you just know she was dreaming about it.
My favorite song was “Dentist” though. I tried hard to work it into a comment last week but it’s kind of obscure.
Now I know where Martin Luther came up with his speech
The protest of the Papacy and selling of indulgences?
No, the freedom to use the toilet directly, without the intercession of a priest as intermediary between a person and toilet (although Wyclif had propounded the idea earlier). A man much troubled by fluxes of the bowels, apparently, was Luther. Demons sent to vex him. That’s why he nailed extra toilet paper to the door.
And that’s why they made him King? History is strange, isn’t it?
As a Protestant myself, now I have a glimmer of understanding of what goes on in the confessional.
(Brillaint post, Dr Handle, btw)
Thank you *blush* But I’d check the facts somewhere reputable; I failed history regularly in high school, and dropped it after Year 9. Apparently, making up something more interesting that what actually happened doesn’t get you extra marks in history. Unless you happen to be a politician, a CEO or clergy. Which is a pity, because my essay on “Leonardo da Vinci – Father Of The Whoopee Cushion” was (in my 14-year-old estimation) utterly brilliant.
Hey, I thought I saw that in his sketchbook, after the helicopter screw thing and before his sketch of a cadaver’s uvula.
Silly! Everybody knows it was Galileo who invented the whoopee cushion. That’s why he got in so much trouble with the church, since he unveiled it by putting it on the Pope’s throne.
You can’t insult the Holy Farter!
Sorry.
Didn’t Galileo get the idea originally from Copernicus? Galileo just had better PR. Except with his PR campaign with the Pope.
Well, Galileo didn’t have good PR if “PR” means “Papal relations”! Actually, the original idea was from a poor illiterate peasant, Goldberg Whoopee, who did not have the ability to obtain a patent for his device, although it bears his name to this day.
Haha! When I read “the helicopter screw thing” I thought, “Leonardo p0rn?”, then I remembered a sci-fi story I read years ago.
The plot, set in the 20th century, centres around 2 or 3 paintings of the Mona Lisa, which are naturally assumed to be fakes, but are then proved to be genuine, even though there are slight differences between them.
Long story short, two people track them to a cave in Italy, where they find a large wooden zoetrope with more Mona Lisa paintings. When they set it going, Mona Lisa flips down the top of her bodice and winks! Leonardo invents the first p0rn movie!
@ dr handle: When can we read the Whoopee Cushion story?
Only thing is, from what I recall about Signore Da Vinci was that he was partial to males and not females. Maybe if his zoetrope showed the Vitruvian Man doing something interesting with certain elements in the drawing I might think it more plausible. Not that he wouldn’t have done the Mona Lisa thing.
They just found a nude Lisa, similar pose. One for the hall, one for the library.
I prefer the Mona Ogg, as described by Terry Pratchett. Uncannily, the teeth are said to follow you around the room.
I wrote it when I was 14 – it’s long since gone wherever secondary school essays go to die. I may have eaten it just to make sure that the teacher’s comments about my carefully reasoned theory, meticulous presentation of supporting evidence and daring synthesis were never seen again.
Woohoo! Go unisex toilets! xD
Ahh, unisex toilets are for eunuchs!
Stalls for couples are on the right.
The smooth hard surfaces make for great resonance when they get going. Hearing protection is available outside.
If you are falling asleep and dreaming on the toilet, you probably are not getting enough sleep. Try an earlier bedtime.
If there’s only one place, nobody better be sleeping/dreaming in there! *crosses legs*
If somebody goes to sleep on the toilet long enough, then circulation to the lower extremities will be cut off.
*can’t feel my legs*
That might be a play on “One World, One Dream” for Beijing Olympics 2008.
Wow, good point! That makes a -lot- of sense to me, thanks!
Engrish, found around vancouver? neverrrr….
Ah, the Canadians are beginning to mock China. Ironic.
This doesn’t sound like a dream to me. Can you imagine all the folks with IBS converged on “one toilet”? The stuff of nightmares! My dream is “one person many toilets.”
As an IBS sufferer myself, I sympathize! My dream is toilets built in to car seats. Living in rural Kentucky, I find it often hits me when I am in the middle of nowhere, with not even one toilet available for many miles!
But you do live in horse country, so you could jump a fence and leave a deposit in a pasture, and no one would be the wiser. Except a mare or two, and a foal.
Colts can sometimes take exception to strange humans making deposits upon their pastures. As can bulls!
Wasn’t sure about the colts thing, except for the ones from Baltimore. And Indianapolis.
The bulls, however, I know all about their feelings of possesiveness towards their pastures. Seen it and ran from it firsthand. Well, I ran on my firstfeet, not my firsthands. Though I might have done that if I had tripped. Would’ve looked like a Tex Avery cartoon.
The sign was seen in Vancouver. The original wording was in English. The original English was translated correctly into Japanese. The Japanese part is what no Japanese will ever understand. This sign belongs on the Enginese web site.
I think you mean the Japlish site, about three menu choices to your right.
Oops sorry no. Either it was translated into odd Japanese, or maybe into Chinese. Was this sign seen at a ramen joint or a lomin site?
ONE MAN, ONE MISSION, ONE PLACE, ONE DREAM
…’These hands, this knife, that ass’…
ONE VISION! ……(Queen circa 1985)
This translation is actually correct; it really does say “one place, one dream”.
This is not the problem…it’s a unisex bath. ONE PLACE!
Betcha it won’t be for long… one fellow who forgets to put the seat up before beginning or one fellow who forgets to put the seat down after finishing is all it would take for the ladies to request a ladies room to be built.
Amen! Women seem to insist upon civilized urination.
In Nicholson’s “About Schmidt”, his wife would yell at him to sit while urinating. After she died, he starts to sit, and in an act of defiantly reclaiming his life and manhood, he remained standing. My wife didn’t catch the punch line. I was laughing so hard I slid off of the couch.
What I’ve never figured out is why females get so irritated when we don’t put the seat down after urinating, when THEY often don’t put the LID down when they are finished!
Because we poop rainbows. And our wee-wee smells of violets. Now, just do what you’re told. We shall move on to the difficult issue of Replacing The Loo Paper When The Roll Runs Out later.
My habit is to bring in a spare roll when the one on the dispenser is less than half full. So much for your presumptions regarding male behavior!
Oh, and besides, it’s newborn babies who poop rainbows, although the smell of violets is nowhere in evidence.
I tried it both ways. I left the lid up. She went into the bathroom half asleep, and sat down into the bowl. I put the lid down, so the dog wouldn’t drink out of the toilet while we were trying to sleep. She went to the bathroom in her sleep and urinated on the lid. She checks the seat status now.
The toilet seat issue is almost as devisive as the Un Civil War. I’ve seen both sexes in several marriages or partnership nearly come to blows over it. Both partners claimed that the other was spoiled and arrogant and neither partner could see the other side. We settled the question very easily at my house: if he leaves the seat up and sit in the toilet water (alswys enjoyable at 2 am) I just get a glass of water and pur it on his bu tt. Quiet strength and dignity, that’s me.
One: the sign is Chinese, not Japanese.
Two: unless someone can find the meaning of the idiom, “one place, one dream,” I have to say it is correctly translated cause that is exactly what is written. It doesn’t make sense. But it is technically correct.
Western style toilets. One place. One dream. Fulfilled.
And it’s so refreshing.
This is a joke sign you can buy from almost every market stall in Hong Kong …. they have millions different ones there…
it’s funny both in the original Chinese and the translation!!
Excuse my limited Mandarin (I have only two semester equivalent of Japanese lessons), the Chinese text there is : “One place, one dream/wish”.