F*ck to burn the crayfish
fragrant crayfish
Submitted by: Brad via Engrish Funny Submissions
This picture was taken in Shanghai at Clawfish house
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I’ll have the shrimp
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*nommed*
That’s not generally the intent while “with” my husband…
Not normally what I’d have in mind either.
Yeah, but if you interrupt cooking dinner for a little “side dish,” I could see where you might forget all about those crayfish on the stove and leave them to burn.
Are you kidding? I’d choose crayfish over secks ANY day. Secks I can get any time (well, provided my husband is awake, and the neighbours aren’t visiting); crayfish is EXPENSIVE, an occasional DELICIOUS AND HIGHLY DESIRABLE TREAT, and there’s NO WAY I’d ever let it burn. I wouldn’t leave it in the kitchen unattended for A SINGLE MINUTE. Get used to the idea, fellas: you rate second to crayfish. The crayfish ranks you. You will never be as desirable as crayfish. You are not as important as crayfish. We love you; but we love crayfish more. It’s just the way of the world.
But do you suck the head?
No. I jam a very large knife through it, then split it, then cut it off and toss it aside to be nibbled at by the cat.
I would DEFINITELY let you have your fill of crayfish before distracting you for something else.
No wonder Mrs B married you; clearly, you are a very intelligent man. That, or your instinct for self-preservation may well confer selective advantage upon your progeny and made you a good selection for breeding.
Well, sucking the head isn’t quite how to do it. What you want to do is have a look at the tomalley (various spellings possible), which serves as a sort of combined liver and pancreas to the animal, if memory serves. If it looks sort of clay colored and not too grungy it usually will taste good. I usually remove it with the handle of a spoon rather than sucking it out. If it looks all odd and dark and mangled, don’t eat it.
liar then why are u all going for guys who are gay and still go after em poor guys, and what about if u iz ALLERGIC TO CRAYFISH hmmm. andwhatever happened to choclate that ideal gone down the drain too?! andwhat about vegetarianz like me what do they do eat, cray tofu?! sorry
it’s just that i find ur coment to be offensive sarry 
“We” hehe~ you only speak for yourself, never assume. Guess you just have a low Seks drive. However….yes crayfish is yum.
Actually, in the general case (since I’m not your hubby) my intent would be to cook and eat the entree, then have my partner of the moment as dessert!
Someone can’t tell a praying mantis from a crayfish and let this one in?
Or a black widow or redback spider.
If that’s all it takes to burn the crayfish…COUNT ME IN!
Since there are, by a very reliable estimate I just made up, approximately 375 million people having secks at this moment, then crayfish are burning all over the world!
Funny, I never seem to burn crayfish when I have sex. What am I doing wrong?
Are you standing close enough to the crayfish to start with?
Oh! *facepalm* I have to do it standing up?
To start with. And when you finish, you should be hanging upside down.
Mr B, I hope that you are giving a helpful instruction, and not passing judgement on how someone else chooses to burns their crayfish – what informed consenting adults do with their own seafood is nobody else’s business.
Does the seafood have to consent also?
Only if it’s still alive.
Does it have to consent to its death?
No. It’s a crayfish. Feel free to f!ck to burn it with impunity.
Don’t let the people at PETA know!
Dear PETA,
Good luck stopping this atrocity.
Sincerely,
Satisfied
I can just imagine the protest signs: “DON’T UP AND DOWN FREQUENTLY!”
Your name says Jennifer not Satisfied
“Satisfied” was meant as a euphemism for “enjoying sex.”
In that way, anyone can use the suggested letter, not just people named Jennifer.
Not people who AREN’T satisfied!
Her name does say “Jennifer,” but it doesn’t say anything about whether she’s satisfied or not. Are you suggesting that “Jennifer not Satisfied” is her full title?
Obviously, it’s her full name. Jennifer N. Satisfied.
i hate PETA jokes because i am a vegetarian but i do not like some of PETA’s ideas.
I want to know what to do with the “fragrant” crayfish mentioned in the line below. Are we supposed to do different things with crayfish that smell differently? And if so, whose sense of smell gets to be the authority in these crayfish matters???
I’d think burnt crayfish would be pretty darned fragrant.
Especially if they had the pretreatment listed above.
I think it is Engrish. The adjective and verb were not formed correctly. Those are pepper seeds over a triple glazing of “pray for death” sauce.
Proper conjugation of English is difficult while rolling under the table screaming an expression of ” The crayfish f’n burns”. Survival is considered a regional challenge and entertainmnet.
Who in their right mind would dare eat anything coated in something called “pray for death” sauce 0_o?
It is the pepper popper’s equivalent of the fugu challenge. It is the last challenge after surviving “omnidirectional concurrent flame” sauce.
Police, or soldiers. It’s their idea of fun.
H3xx asked, however, about people in their right mind…
Ah, yes. You have spotted a gaping flaw in my answer. I do apologise. And it is a gaping flaw; people who spray each other with capsicum spray for fun and pass a pleasant afternoon zapping each other with tasers are, clearly, not completely of sound mind. (Especially when they film it on their cameras, and bring it home like excited children from a zoo excursion, yelling excitedly “Guess what we did today?”) What can I say? The fit ones could outrun me, and the smart ones saw me coming…
Yes, I have a nephew who is a sheriff’s deputy, so I know a bit about law enforcement types. Also I did have a job where I examined applicants for a police force for their psychological fitness. I learned it was not a matter of differentiating the sane from the crazy, but figuring out if the applicant had the right kind of insanity to fit in well.
I will be looking for the numbers for “determined qualified level of psychosis for law enforcement” on insurance standardized procedures billing forms.
The police departments pay for the evaluations, so we never have to worry about the billing codes. And actually the applicants don’t usually look psychotic, but psychopathic. Much like psychologists.
I suppose that so long as they only zap/spray/beat up each other for fun, they’re not doing any harm – what really annoys me is when he leaves a shirt covered with blood in the bottom of his locker for a week then brings it home and says “Oh, can you get this clean? It’s okay, it’s mine – we were sparring and Reedy kicked me in the face, it was great!…”
Does anyone know what that really says in the language in which it is written?
Yes.
I don’t know the language, but have read previous “Engrish” comments on other photos with “fu*k” in the translation…it seems to be some sort of mix up between ‘dry’ or ‘dried’ and ‘fu*k’…I guess the characters are the same?
So, this one might be something about spicy dried crayfish?
It all has to do with one ubiquitous piece of (mis)translation software. These clever folk tracked it: http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/005195.html
Crayfish would definitely burn better if you dry them, but it sounds like an expensive way to keep warm!
These days, all ways of keeping warm are expensive!
Not if you use contraception… wait, you mean MrsB makes you *pay* for it? Oh, that’s just mean…
In the end, men always pay for it, one way or another, and usually both!
it loos like thia, though I could be wrong
Ah yes, Thia. The language of thialogians all over the world.
The character, Gan, which is the little one that looks rather like a telephone pole, has long provided this site with many of our LOLZ and is, if I am not mistaken, found in simplified Chinese.
I feel as though the crayfish might end up burnt due to the vigorous friction…
In the same vein, an old (1950s era, at least) joke goes, a woman is asked if she smokes after intercourse. “I don’t know,” she replies. “I never looked.”
What did Superman do when he saw Lois was smoking? Slowed down and used a water based lube.
He probably used a petroleum-based lubricant, though. After all, the Man of Steel can’t afford to have his steel go to rust!
No. Petroleum fire hazards.
Then perhaps a non-water-based antipyretic foam???
I always visualized Loise’s head exploding like a shotgun hit when Clark climaxed
Hilarious! That could be a Slipknot songtitle
Is this like rubbing two sticks together to start a fire. Or maybe that is just some really hot sex.
Rubbing two sticks together could NEVER fall under my definition of really hot secks. Which is not to cast aspersions onto those inclined in that direction, though.
I never had crayfish before. Wonder how it tastes like.
More delicious than the most delicious delicacy you’ve ever, er, delished.
um, crawdad fan much?
Not like chicken, a bit like 0ral sex.
As experienced by the male or the female?
Or should I say, as experienced ON the male or the female?
Well, since I’ve never experienced it on a male….
Hey, I learned long ago not to make any assumptions about other people’s sexual habits and preferences. And when I have to ask, I do my best to stay nonchalant. Okay, so you do what exactly with the cinammon, duct tape, feathers, and balloons?
duct tape goes on the wrists on the arms of a chair, feathers go “everywhere”:P, cinammon, u don’t wanna know, and balloons ??? oh well i tried:P.
what again is ur gender exactly i don’t think ur a girl but i could b wrong?
Most people lose interest in the crayfish well before it reaches the colon. In the usual direction, at least.
If you marinate it in spicy sauce, you might want it redubbed the cryfish, though, as it leaves!
I never seem to have that problem after i eat chili. Either I’m lucky, or it’s all collecting somewhere, and one day it’ll reach critical mass!
I love hot food, and my stomach tolerates it well. But I have to make a mental note to expect a date with Bernie. You know, Bernie Arsehole.
No. That’s what I meant, I have never met Bernie!
I wish I hadn’t, but I know him well! As they say, fire in the hole!
More like Fire out of the hole
Once it’s out, no more fire!
This looks like it my be Cajun slang for that little sum’n sum’n. Then again, if it were Cajun, they’d be sayin’ “crawdad” and not “crayfish”…. so more research needed.
Me, I use either one. Depends on how hoity-toity the folks are around me. Which means I usually say “crawdad”.
LOL “I’ll have the shrimp”
my icon looks like a retarded nerd which i am not. I am an ADHD geek.
dr handle, the story is by Larry Niven, “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.” I think it was published in Playboy.
The only time I would ever say “crayfish” is when I’m reading the printed word. They are “crawdads.”